The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
X. THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF TOAD
The front door of the hollow tree faced eastwards, so Toad was called atan early hour; partly by the bright sunlight streaming in on him, partlyby the exceeding coldness of his toes, which made him dream that he wasat home in bed in his own handsome room with the Tudor window, on a coldwinter's night, and his bedclothes had got up, grumbling and protestingthey couldn't stand the cold any longer, and had run downstairs to thekitchen fire to warm themselves; and he had followed, on bare feet,along miles and miles of icy stone-paved passages, arguing andbeseeching them to be reasonable. He would probably have been arousedmuch earlier, had he not slept for some weeks on straw over stone flags,and almost forgotten the friendly feeling of thick blankets pulled wellup round the chin.
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes first and his complaining toes next,wondered for a moment where he was, looking round for familiarstone wall and little barred window; then, with a leap of the heart,remembered everything--his escape, his flight, his pursuit; remembered,first and best thing of all, that he was free!
Free! The word and the thought alone were worth fifty blankets. He waswarm from end to end as he thought of the jolly world outside, waitingeagerly for him to make his triumphal entrance, ready to serve himand play up to him, anxious to help him and to keep him company, as italways had been in days of old before misfortune fell upon him. He shookhimself and combed the dry leaves out of his hair with his fingers; and,his toilet complete, marched forth into the comfortable morning sun,cold but confident, hungry but hopeful, all nervous terrors of yesterdaydispelled by rest and sleep and frank and heartening sunshine.
He had the world all to himself, that early summer morning. The dewywoodland, as he threaded it, was solitary and still: the green fieldsthat succeeded the trees were his own to do as he liked with; the roaditself, when he reached it, in that loneliness that was everywhere,seemed, like a stray dog, to be looking anxiously for company. Toad,however, was looking for something that could talk, and tell him clearlywhich way he ought to go. It is all very well, when you have a lightheart, and a clear conscience, and money in your pocket, and nobodyscouring the country for you to drag you off to prison again, to followwhere the road beckons and points, not caring whither. The practicalToad cared very much indeed, and he could have kicked the road for itshelpless silence when every minute was of importance to him.
The reserved rustic road was presently joined by a shy little brother inthe shape of a canal, which took its hand and ambled along by its sidein perfect confidence, but with the same tongue-tied, uncommunicativeattitude towards strangers. 'Bother them!' said Toad to himself. 'But,anyhow, one thing's clear. They must both be coming FROM somewhere,and going TO somewhere. You can't get over that. Toad, my boy!' So hemarched on patiently by the water's edge.
Round a bend in the canal came plodding a solitary horse, stoopingforward as if in anxious thought. From rope traces attached to hiscollar stretched a long line, taut, but dipping with his stride, thefurther part of it dripping pearly drops. Toad let the horse pass, andstood waiting for what the fates were sending him.
With a pleasant swirl of quiet water at its blunt bow the barge slid upalongside of him, its gaily painted gunwale level with the towing-path,its sole occupant a big stout woman wearing a linen sun-bonnet, onebrawny arm laid along the tiller.
'A nice morning, ma'am!' she remarked to Toad, as she drew up level withhim.
'I dare say it is, ma'am!' responded Toad politely, as he walked alongthe tow-path abreast of her. 'I dare it IS a nice morning to them that'snot in sore trouble, like what I am. Here's my married daughter, shesends off to me post-haste to come to her at once; so off I comes, notknowing what may be happening or going to happen, but fearing the worst,as you will understand, ma'am, if you're a mother, too. And I've left mybusiness to look after itself--I'm in the washing and laundering line,you must know, ma'am--and I've left my young children to look afterthemselves, and a more mischievous and troublesome set of young impsdoesn't exist, ma'am; and I've lost all my money, and lost my way, andas for what may be happening to my married daughter, why, I don't liketo think of it, ma'am!'
'Where might your married daughter be living, ma'am?' asked thebarge-woman.
'She lives near to the river, ma'am,' replied Toad. 'Close to a finehouse called Toad Hall, that's somewheres hereabouts in these parts.Perhaps you may have heard of it.'
'Toad Hall? Why, I'm going that way myself,' replied the barge-woman.'This canal joins the river some miles further on, a little above ToadHall; and then it's an easy walk. You come along in the barge with me,and I'll give you a lift.'
She steered the barge close to the bank, and Toad, with many humble andgrateful acknowledgments, stepped lightly on board and sat down withgreat satisfaction. 'Toad's luck again!' thought he. 'I always come outon top!'
'So you're in the washing business, ma'am?' said the barge-womanpolitely, as they glided along. 'And a very good business you've gottoo, I dare say, if I'm not making too free in saying so.'
'Finest business in the whole country,' said Toad airily. 'All thegentry come to me--wouldn't go to any one else if they were paid, theyknow me so well. You see, I understand my work thoroughly, and attend toit all myself. Washing, ironing, clear-starching, making up gents' fineshirts for evening wear--everything's done under my own eye!'
'But surely you don't DO all that work yourself, ma'am?' asked thebarge-woman respectfully.
'O, I have girls,' said Toad lightly: 'twenty girls or thereabouts,always at work. But you know what GIRLS are, ma'am! Nasty littlehussies, that's what _I_ call 'em!'
'So do I, too,' said the barge-woman with great heartiness. 'But I daresay you set yours to rights, the idle trollops! And are you very fond ofwashing?'
'I love it,' said Toad. 'I simply dote on it. Never so happy as whenI've got both arms in the wash-tub. But, then, it comes so easy to me!No trouble at all! A real pleasure, I assure you, ma'am!'
'What a bit of luck, meeting you!' observed the barge-woman,thoughtfully. 'A regular piece of good fortune for both of us!'
'Why, what do you mean?' asked Toad, nervously.
'Well, look at me, now,' replied the barge-woman. '_I_ like washing,too, just the same as you do; and for that matter, whether I like it ornot I have got to do all my own, naturally, moving about as I do. Now myhusband, he's such a fellow for shirking his work and leaving the bargeto me, that never a moment do I get for seeing to my own affairs. Byrights he ought to be here now, either steering or attending to thehorse, though luckily the horse has sense enough to attend to himself.Instead of which, he's gone off with the dog, to see if they can't pickup a rabbit for dinner somewhere. Says he'll catch me up at the nextlock. Well, that's as may be--I don't trust him, once he gets off withthat dog, who's worse than he is. But meantime, how am I to get on withmy washing?'
'O, never mind about the washing,' said Toad, not liking the subject.'Try and fix your mind on that rabbit. A nice fat young rabbit, I'll bebound. Got any onions?'
'I can't fix my mind on anything but my washing,' said the barge-woman,'and I wonder you can be talking of rabbits, with such a joyful prospectbefore you. There's a heap of things of mine that you'll find ina corner of the cabin. If you'll just take one or two of the mostnecessary sort--I won't venture to describe them to a lady like you, butyou'll recognise them at a glance--and put them through the wash-tub aswe go along, why, it'll be a pleasure to you, as you rightly say, and areal help to me. You'll find a tub handy, and soap, and a kettle on thestove, and a bucket to haul up water from the canal with. Then I shallknow you're enjoying yourself, instead of sitting here idle, looking atthe scenery and yawning your head off.'
'Here, you let me steer!' said Toad, now thoroughly frightened, 'andthen you can get on with your washing your own way. I might spoil yourthings, or not do 'em as you like. I'm more used to gentlemen's thingsmyself. It's my special line.'
'Let you steer?' replied the barge-woman, laughing. 'It takes somepractice to steer a barge properly. Besides, it's dull work, and I wantyou to be happy. No, you shall do the washing you are so fond of, andI'll stick to the steering that I understand. Don't try and deprive meof the pleasure of giving you a treat!'
Toad was fairly cornered. He looked for escape this way and that,saw that he was too far from the bank for a flying leap, and sullenlyresigned himself to his fate. 'If it comes to that,' he thought indesperation, 'I suppose any fool can WASH!'
He fetched tub, soap, and other necessaries from the cabin, selected afew garments at random, tried to recollect what he had seen in casualglances through laundry windows, and set to.
A long half-hour passed, and every minute of it saw Toad getting crosserand crosser. Nothing that he could do to the things seemed to pleasethem or do them good. He tried coaxing, he tried slapping, he triedpunching; they smiled back at him out of the tub unconverted, happy intheir original sin. Once or twice he looked nervously over his shoulderat the barge-woman, but she appeared to be gazing out in front of her,absorbed in her steering. His back ached badly, and he noticed withdismay that his paws were beginning to get all crinkly. Now Toad wasvery proud of his paws. He muttered under his breath words that shouldnever pass the lips of either washerwomen or Toads; and lost the soap,for the fiftieth time.
A burst of laughter made him straighten himself and look round. Thebarge-woman was leaning back and laughing unrestrainedly, till the tearsran down her cheeks.
'I've been watching you all the time,' she gasped. 'I thought youmust be a humbug all along, from the conceited way you talked. Prettywasherwoman you are! Never washed so much as a dish-clout in your life,I'll lay!'
Toad's temper which had been simmering viciously for some time, nowfairly boiled over, and he lost all control of himself.
'You common, low, FAT barge-woman!' he shouted; 'don't you dare to talkto your betters like that! Washerwoman indeed! I would have you to knowthat I am a Toad, a very well-known, respected, distinguished Toad! Imay be under a bit of a cloud at present, but I will NOT be laughed atby a bargewoman!'
The woman moved nearer to him and peered under his bonnet keenly andclosely. 'Why, so you are!' she cried. 'Well, I never! A horrid, nasty,crawly Toad! And in my nice clean barge, too! Now that is a thing that Iwill NOT have.'
She relinquished the tiller for a moment. One big mottled arm shot outand caught Toad by a fore-leg, while the other-gripped him fast by ahind-leg. Then the world turned suddenly upside down, the barge seemedto flit lightly across the sky, the wind whistled in his ears, and Toadfound himself flying through the air, revolving rapidly as he went.
The water, when he eventually reached it with a loud splash, provedquite cold enough for his taste, though its chill was not sufficient toquell his proud spirit, or slake the heat of his furious temper. He roseto the surface spluttering, and when he had wiped the duck-weed out ofhis eyes the first thing he saw was the fat barge-woman looking back athim over the stern of the retreating barge and laughing; and he vowed,as he coughed and choked, to be even with her.
He struck out for the shore, but the cotton gown greatly impeded hisefforts, and when at length he touched land he found it hard to climbup the steep bank unassisted. He had to take a minute or two's rest torecover his breath; then, gathering his wet skirts well over his arms,he started to run after the barge as fast as his legs would carry him,wild with indignation, thirsting for revenge.
The barge-woman was still laughing when he drew up level with her. 'Putyourself through your mangle, washerwoman,' she called out, 'and ironyour face and crimp it, and you'll pass for quite a decent-lookingToad!'
Toad never paused to reply. Solid revenge was what he wanted, not cheap,windy, verbal triumphs, though he had a thing or two in his mind thathe would have liked to say. He saw what he wanted ahead of him. Runningswiftly on he overtook the horse, unfastened the towrope and cast off,jumped lightly on the horse's back, and urged it to a gallop by kickingit vigorously in the sides. He steered for the open country, abandoningthe tow-path, and swinging his steed down a rutty lane. Once he lookedback, and saw that the barge had run aground on the other side of thecanal, and the barge-woman was gesticulating wildly and shouting, 'Stop,stop, stop!' 'I've heard that song before,' said Toad, laughing, as hecontinued to spur his steed onward in its wild career.
The barge-horse was not capable of any very sustained effort, and itsgallop soon subsided into a trot, and its trot into an easy walk; butToad was quite contented with this, knowing that he, at any rate, wasmoving, and the barge was not. He had quite recovered his temper,now that he had done something he thought really clever; and he wassatisfied to jog along quietly in the sun, steering his horse alongby-ways and bridle-paths, and trying to forget how very long it wassince he had had a square meal, till the canal had been left very farbehind him.
He had travelled some miles, his horse and he, and he was feeling drowsyin the hot sunshine, when the horse stopped, lowered his head, andbegan to nibble the grass; and Toad, waking up, just saved himself fromfalling off by an effort. He looked about him and found he was on a widecommon, dotted with patches of gorse and bramble as far as he could see.Near him stood a dingy gipsy caravan, and beside it a man was sitting ona bucket turned upside down, very busy smoking and staring into the wideworld. A fire of sticks was burning near by, and over the fire hung aniron pot, and out of that pot came forth bubblings and gurglings, anda vague suggestive steaminess. Also smells--warm, rich, and variedsmells--that twined and twisted and wreathed themselves at last into onecomplete, voluptuous, perfect smell that seemed like the very soul ofNature taking form and appearing to her children, a true Goddess, amother of solace and comfort. Toad now knew well that he had not beenreally hungry before. What he had felt earlier in the day had been amere trifling qualm. This was the real thing at last, and no mistake;and it would have to be dealt with speedily, too, or there would betrouble for somebody or something. He looked the gipsy over carefully,wondering vaguely whether it would be easier to fight him or cajole him.So there he sat, and sniffed and sniffed, and looked at the gipsy; andthe gipsy sat and smoked, and looked at him.
Presently the gipsy took his pipe out of his mouth and remarked in acareless way, 'Want to sell that there horse of yours?'
Toad was completely taken aback. He did not know that gipsies were veryfond of horse-dealing, and never missed an opportunity, and he hadnot reflected that caravans were always on the move and took a deal ofdrawing. It had not occurred to him to turn the horse into cash, but thegipsy's suggestion seemed to smooth the way towards the two things hewanted so badly--ready money, and a solid breakfast.
'What?' he said, 'me sell this beautiful young horse of mine? O, no;it's out of the question. Who's going to take the washing home to mycustomers every week? Besides, I'm too fond of him, and he simply doteson me.'
'Try and love a donkey,' suggested the gipsy. 'Some people do.'
'You don't seem to see,' continued Toad, 'that this fine horse of mineis a cut above you altogether. He's a blood horse, he is, partly;not the part you see, of course--another part. And he's been a PrizeHackney, too, in his time--that was the time before you knew him, butyou can still tell it on him at a glance, if you understand anythingabout horses. No, it's not to be thought of for a moment. All the same,how much might you be disposed to offer me for this beautiful younghorse of mine?'
The gipsy looked the horse over, and then he looked Toad over with equalcare, and looked at the horse again. 'Shillin' a leg,' he said briefly,and turned away, continuing to smoke and try to stare the wide world outof countenance.
'A shilling a leg?' cried Toad. 'If you please, I must take a littletime to work that out, and see just what it comes to.'
He climbed down off his horse, and left it to graze, and sat down by thegipsy, and did sums on his fingers, and at last he said, 'A shilling aleg? Why, that comes to exactly four shillings, and no more. O, no; Icould not think of accepting four shillings for this beautiful younghorse of mine.'
'Well,' said the gipsy, 'I'll tell you what I will do. I'll make it fiveshillings, and that's three-and-sixpence more than the animal's worth.And that's my last word.'
Then Toad sat and pondered long and deeply. For he was hungry and quitepenniless, and still some way--he knew not how far--from home, andenemies might still be looking for him. To one in such a situation, fiveshillings may very well appear a large sum of money. On the other hand,it did not seem very much to get for a horse. But then, again, the horsehadn't cost him anything; so whatever he got was all clear profit. Atlast he said firmly, 'Look here, gipsy! I tell you what we will do; andthis is MY last word. You shall hand me over six shillings and sixpence,cash down; and further, in addition thereto, you shall give me as muchbreakfast as I can possibly eat, at one sitting of course, out of thatiron pot of yours that keeps sending forth such delicious and excitingsmells. In return, I will make over to you my spirited young horse, withall the beautiful harness and trappings that are on him, freely thrownin. If that's not good enough for you, say so, and I'll be getting on. Iknow a man near here who's wanted this horse of mine for years.'
The gipsy grumbled frightfully, and declared if he did a few more dealsof that sort he'd be ruined. But in the end he lugged a dirty canvas bagout of the depths of his trouser pocket, and counted out six shillingsand sixpence into Toad's paw. Then he disappeared into the caravan foran instant, and returned with a large iron plate and a knife, fork,and spoon. He tilted up the pot, and a glorious stream of hot rich stewgurgled into the plate. It was, indeed, the most beautiful stew in theworld, being made of partridges, and pheasants, and chickens, andhares, and rabbits, and pea-hens, and guinea-fowls, and one or two otherthings. Toad took the plate on his lap, almost crying, and stuffed,and stuffed, and stuffed, and kept asking for more, and the gipsy nevergrudged it him. He thought that he had never eaten so good a breakfastin all his life.
When Toad had taken as much stew on board as he thought he couldpossibly hold, he got up and said good-bye to the gipsy, and tookan affectionate farewell of the horse; and the gipsy, who knew theriverside well, gave him directions which way to go, and he set forth onhis travels again in the best possible spirits. He was, indeed, a verydifferent Toad from the animal of an hour ago. The sun was shiningbrightly, his wet clothes were quite dry again, he had money in hispocket once more, he was nearing home and friends and safety, and, mostand best of all, he had had a substantial meal, hot and nourishing, andfelt big, and strong, and careless, and self-confident.
As he tramped along gaily, he thought of his adventures and escapes, andhow when things seemed at their worst he had always managed to find away out; and his pride and conceit began to swell within him. 'Ho, ho!'he said to himself as he marched along with his chin in the air, 'whata clever Toad I am! There is surely no animal equal to me for clevernessin the whole world! My enemies shut me up in prison, encircled bysentries, watched night and day by warders; I walk out through them all,by sheer ability coupled with courage. They pursue me with engines,and policemen, and revolvers; I snap my fingers at them, and vanish,laughing, into space. I am, unfortunately, thrown into a canal by awoman fat of body and very evil-minded. What of it? I swim ashore, Iseize her horse, I ride off in triumph, and I sell the horse for a wholepocketful of money and an excellent breakfast! Ho, ho! I am The Toad,the handsome, the popular, the successful Toad!' He got so puffed upwith conceit that he made up a song as he walked in praise of himself,and sang it at the top of his voice, though there was no one to hearit but him. It was perhaps the most conceited song that any animal evercomposed.
'The world has held great Heroes, As history-books have showed; But never a name to go down to fame Compared with that of Toad!
'The clever men at Oxford Know all that there is to be knowed. But they none of them know one half as much As intelligent Mr. Toad!
'The animals sat in the Ark and cried, Their tears in torrents flowed. Who was it said, ”There's land ahead?” Encouraging Mr. Toad!
'The army all saluted As they marched along the road. Was it the King? Or Kitchener? No. It was Mr. Toad.
'The Queen and her Ladies-in-waiting Sat at the window and sewed. She cried, ”Look! who's that _handsome_ man?” They answered, ”Mr. Toad.”'
There was a great deal more of the same sort, but too dreadfullyconceited to be written down. These are some of the milder verses.
He sang as he walked, and he walked as he sang, and got more inflatedevery minute. But his pride was shortly to have a severe fall.
After some miles of country lanes he reached the high road, and as heturned into it and glanced along its white length, he saw approachinghim a speck that turned into a dot and then into a blob, and then intosomething very familiar; and a double note of warning, only too wellknown, fell on his delighted ear.
'This is something like!' said the excited Toad. 'This is real lifeagain, this is once more the great world from which I have been missedso long! I will hail them, my brothers of the wheel, and pitch them ayarn, of the sort that has been so successful hitherto; and they willgive me a lift, of course, and then I will talk to them some more; and,perhaps, with luck, it may even end in my driving up to Toad Hall in amotor-car! That will be one in the eye for Badger!'
He stepped confidently out into the road to hail the motor-car, whichcame along at an easy pace, slowing down as it neared the lane; whensuddenly he became very pale, his heart turned to water, his knees shookand yielded under him, and he doubled up and collapsed with a sickeningpain in his interior. And well he might, the unhappy animal; for theapproaching car was the very one he had stolen out of the yard of theRed Lion Hotel on that fatal day when all his troubles began! Andthe people in it were the very same people he had sat and watched atluncheon in the coffee-room!
He sank down in a shabby, miserable heap in the road, murmuring tohimself in his despair, 'It's all up! It's all over now! Chains andpolicemen again! Prison again! Dry bread and water again! O, what afool I have been! What did I want to go strutting about the country for,singing conceited songs, and hailing people in broad day on the highroad, instead of hiding till nightfall and slipping home quietly by backways! O hapless Toad! O ill-fated animal!'
The terrible motor-car drew slowly nearer and nearer, till at last heheard it stop just short of him. Two gentlemen got out and walked roundthe trembling heap of crumpled misery lying in the road, and one of themsaid, 'O dear! this is very sad! Here is a poor old thing--a washerwomanapparently--who has fainted in the road! Perhaps she is overcome by theheat, poor creature; or possibly she has not had any food to-day. Letus lift her into the car and take her to the nearest village, wheredoubtless she has friends.'
They tenderly lifted Toad into the motor-car and propped him up withsoft cushions, and proceeded on their way.
When Toad heard them talk in so kind and sympathetic a way, andknew that he was not recognised, his courage began to revive, and hecautiously opened first one eye and then the other.
'Look!' said one of the gentlemen, 'she is better already. The fresh airis doing her good. How do you feel now, ma'am?'
'Thank you kindly, Sir,' said Toad in a feeble voice, 'I'm feeling agreat deal better!' 'That's right,' said the gentleman. 'Now keep quitestill, and, above all, don't try to talk.'
'I won't,' said Toad. 'I was only thinking, if I might sit on the frontseat there, beside the driver, where I could get the fresh air full inmy face, I should soon be all right again.'
'What a very sensible woman!' said the gentleman. 'Of course you shall.'So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat beside the driver, andon they went again.
Toad was almost himself again by now. He sat up, looked about him, andtried to beat down the tremors, the yearnings, the old cravings thatrose up and beset him and took possession of him entirely.
'It is fate!' he said to himself. 'Why strive? why struggle?' and heturned to the driver at his side.
'Please, Sir,' he said, 'I wish you would kindly let me try and drivethe car for a little. I've been watching you carefully, and it looks soeasy and so interesting, and I should like to be able to tell my friendsthat once I had driven a motor-car!'
The driver laughed at the proposal, so heartily that the gentlemaninquired what the matter was. When he heard, he said, to Toad's delight,'Bravo, ma'am! I like your spirit. Let her have a try, and look afterher. She won't do any harm.'
Toad eagerly scrambled into the seat vacated by the driver, took thesteering-wheel in his hands, listened with affected humility to theinstructions given him, and set the car in motion, but very slowly andcarefully at first, for he was determined to be prudent.
The gentlemen behind clapped their hands and applauded, and Toad heardthem saying, 'How well she does it! Fancy a washerwoman driving a car aswell as that, the first time!'
Toad went a little faster; then faster still, and faster.
He heard the gentlemen call out warningly, 'Be careful, washerwoman!'And this annoyed him, and he began to lose his head.
The driver tried to interfere, but he pinned him down in his seat withone elbow, and put on full speed. The rush of air in his face, the humof the engines, and the light jump of the car beneath him intoxicatedhis weak brain. 'Washerwoman, indeed!' he shouted recklessly. 'Ho! ho!I am the Toad, the motor-car snatcher, the prison-breaker, the Toad whoalways escapes! Sit still, and you shall know what driving reallyis, for you are in the hands of the famous, the skilful, the entirelyfearless Toad!'
With a cry of horror the whole party rose and flung themselves on him.'Seize him!' they cried, 'seize the Toad, the wicked animal whostole our motor-car! Bind him, chain him, drag him to the nearestpolice-station! Down with the desperate and dangerous Toad!'
Alas! they should have thought, they ought to have been more prudent,they should have remembered to stop the motor-car somehow before playingany pranks of that sort. With a half-turn of the wheel the Toad sentthe car crashing through the low hedge that ran along the roadside. Onemighty bound, a violent shock, and the wheels of the car were churningup the thick mud of a horse-pond.
Toad found himself flying through the air with the strong upward rushand delicate curve of a swallow. He liked the motion, and was justbeginning to wonder whether it would go on until he developed wings andturned into a Toad-bird, when he landed on his back with a thump, in thesoft rich grass of a meadow. Sitting up, he could just see the motor-carin the pond, nearly submerged; the gentlemen and the driver, encumberedby their long coats, were floundering helplessly in the water.
He picked himself up rapidly, and set off running across country as hardas he could, scrambling through hedges, jumping ditches, pounding acrossfields, till he was breathless and weary, and had to settle down intoan easy walk. When he had recovered his breath somewhat, and was able tothink calmly, he began to giggle, and from giggling he took to laughing,and he laughed till he had to sit down under a hedge. 'Ho, ho!' hecried, in ecstasies of self-admiration, 'Toad again! Toad, as usual,comes out on the top! Who was it got them to give him a lift? Whomanaged to get on the front seat for the sake of fresh air? Whopersuaded them into letting him see if he could drive? Who landed themall in a horse-pond? Who escaped, flying gaily and unscathed through theair, leaving the narrow-minded, grudging, timid excursionists in the mudwhere they should rightly be? Why, Toad, of course; clever Toad, greatToad, GOOD Toad!'
Then he burst into song again, and chanted with uplifted voice--
'The motor-car went Poop-poop-poop, As it raced along the road. Who was it steered it into a pond? Ingenious Mr. Toad!
O, how clever I am! How clever, how clever, how very clev----'
A slight noise at a distance behind him made him turn his head and look.O horror! O misery! O despair!
About two fields off, a chauffeur in his leather gaiters and two largerural policemen were visible, running towards him as hard as they couldgo!
Poor Toad sprang to his feet and pelted away again, his heart in hismouth. O, my!' he gasped, as he panted along, 'what an ASS I am! What aCONCEITED and heedless ass! Swaggering again! Shouting and singing songsagain! Sitting still and gassing again! O my! O my! O my!'
He glanced back, and saw to his dismay that they were gaining on him.On he ran desperately, but kept looking back, and saw that they stillgained steadily. He did his best, but he was a fat animal, and his legswere short, and still they gained. He could hear them close behind himnow. Ceasing to heed where he was going, he struggled on blindly andwildly, looking back over his shoulder at the now triumphant enemy, whensuddenly the earth failed under his feet, he grasped at the air, and,splash! he found himself head over ears in deep water, rapid water,water that bore him along with a force he could not contend with; and heknew that in his blind panic he had run straight into the river!
He rose to the surface and tried to grasp the reeds and the rushes thatgrew along the water's edge close under the bank, but the stream was sostrong that it tore them out of his hands. 'O my!' gasped poor Toad,'if ever I steal a motor-car again! If ever I sing another conceitedsong'--then down he went, and came up breathless and spluttering.Presently he saw that he was approaching a big dark hole in the bank,just above his head, and as the stream bore him past he reached up witha paw and caught hold of the edge and held on. Then slowly and withdifficulty he drew himself up out of the water, till at last he was ableto rest his elbows on the edge of the hole. There he remained for someminutes, puffing and panting, for he was quite exhausted.
As he sighed and blew and stared before him into the dark hole, somebright small thing shone and twinkled in its depths, moving towardshim. As it approached, a face grew up gradually around it, and it was afamiliar face!
Brown and small, with whiskers.
Grave and round, with neat ears and silky hair.
It was the Water Rat!
The front door of the hollow tree faced eastwards, so Toad was called atan early hour; partly by the bright sunlight streaming in on him, partlyby the exceeding coldness of his toes, which made him dream that he wasat home in bed in his own handsome room with the Tudor window, on a coldwinter's night, and his bedclothes had got up, grumbling and protestingthey couldn't stand the cold any longer, and had run downstairs to thekitchen fire to warm themselves; and he had followed, on bare feet,along miles and miles of icy stone-paved passages, arguing andbeseeching them to be reasonable. He would probably have been arousedmuch earlier, had he not slept for some weeks on straw over stone flags,and almost forgotten the friendly feeling of thick blankets pulled wellup round the chin.
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes first and his complaining toes next,wondered for a moment where he was, looking round for familiarstone wall and little barred window; then, with a leap of the heart,remembered everything--his escape, his flight, his pursuit; remembered,first and best thing of all, that he was free!
Free! The word and the thought alone were worth fifty blankets. He waswarm from end to end as he thought of the jolly world outside, waitingeagerly for him to make his triumphal entrance, ready to serve himand play up to him, anxious to help him and to keep him company, as italways had been in days of old before misfortune fell upon him. He shookhimself and combed the dry leaves out of his hair with his fingers; and,his toilet complete, marched forth into the comfortable morning sun,cold but confident, hungry but hopeful, all nervous terrors of yesterdaydispelled by rest and sleep and frank and heartening sunshine.
He had the world all to himself, that early summer morning. The dewywoodland, as he threaded it, was solitary and still: the green fieldsthat succeeded the trees were his own to do as he liked with; the roaditself, when he reached it, in that loneliness that was everywhere,seemed, like a stray dog, to be looking anxiously for company. Toad,however, was looking for something that could talk, and tell him clearlywhich way he ought to go. It is all very well, when you have a lightheart, and a clear conscience, and money in your pocket, and nobodyscouring the country for you to drag you off to prison again, to followwhere the road beckons and points, not caring whither. The practicalToad cared very much indeed, and he could have kicked the road for itshelpless silence when every minute was of importance to him.
The reserved rustic road was presently joined by a shy little brother inthe shape of a canal, which took its hand and ambled along by its sidein perfect confidence, but with the same tongue-tied, uncommunicativeattitude towards strangers. 'Bother them!' said Toad to himself. 'But,anyhow, one thing's clear. They must both be coming FROM somewhere,and going TO somewhere. You can't get over that. Toad, my boy!' So hemarched on patiently by the water's edge.
Round a bend in the canal came plodding a solitary horse, stoopingforward as if in anxious thought. From rope traces attached to hiscollar stretched a long line, taut, but dipping with his stride, thefurther part of it dripping pearly drops. Toad let the horse pass, andstood waiting for what the fates were sending him.
With a pleasant swirl of quiet water at its blunt bow the barge slid upalongside of him, its gaily painted gunwale level with the towing-path,its sole occupant a big stout woman wearing a linen sun-bonnet, onebrawny arm laid along the tiller.
'A nice morning, ma'am!' she remarked to Toad, as she drew up level withhim.
'I dare say it is, ma'am!' responded Toad politely, as he walked alongthe tow-path abreast of her. 'I dare it IS a nice morning to them that'snot in sore trouble, like what I am. Here's my married daughter, shesends off to me post-haste to come to her at once; so off I comes, notknowing what may be happening or going to happen, but fearing the worst,as you will understand, ma'am, if you're a mother, too. And I've left mybusiness to look after itself--I'm in the washing and laundering line,you must know, ma'am--and I've left my young children to look afterthemselves, and a more mischievous and troublesome set of young impsdoesn't exist, ma'am; and I've lost all my money, and lost my way, andas for what may be happening to my married daughter, why, I don't liketo think of it, ma'am!'
'Where might your married daughter be living, ma'am?' asked thebarge-woman.
'She lives near to the river, ma'am,' replied Toad. 'Close to a finehouse called Toad Hall, that's somewheres hereabouts in these parts.Perhaps you may have heard of it.'
'Toad Hall? Why, I'm going that way myself,' replied the barge-woman.'This canal joins the river some miles further on, a little above ToadHall; and then it's an easy walk. You come along in the barge with me,and I'll give you a lift.'
She steered the barge close to the bank, and Toad, with many humble andgrateful acknowledgments, stepped lightly on board and sat down withgreat satisfaction. 'Toad's luck again!' thought he. 'I always come outon top!'
'So you're in the washing business, ma'am?' said the barge-womanpolitely, as they glided along. 'And a very good business you've gottoo, I dare say, if I'm not making too free in saying so.'
'Finest business in the whole country,' said Toad airily. 'All thegentry come to me--wouldn't go to any one else if they were paid, theyknow me so well. You see, I understand my work thoroughly, and attend toit all myself. Washing, ironing, clear-starching, making up gents' fineshirts for evening wear--everything's done under my own eye!'
'But surely you don't DO all that work yourself, ma'am?' asked thebarge-woman respectfully.
'O, I have girls,' said Toad lightly: 'twenty girls or thereabouts,always at work. But you know what GIRLS are, ma'am! Nasty littlehussies, that's what _I_ call 'em!'
'So do I, too,' said the barge-woman with great heartiness. 'But I daresay you set yours to rights, the idle trollops! And are you very fond ofwashing?'
'I love it,' said Toad. 'I simply dote on it. Never so happy as whenI've got both arms in the wash-tub. But, then, it comes so easy to me!No trouble at all! A real pleasure, I assure you, ma'am!'
'What a bit of luck, meeting you!' observed the barge-woman,thoughtfully. 'A regular piece of good fortune for both of us!'
'Why, what do you mean?' asked Toad, nervously.
'Well, look at me, now,' replied the barge-woman. '_I_ like washing,too, just the same as you do; and for that matter, whether I like it ornot I have got to do all my own, naturally, moving about as I do. Now myhusband, he's such a fellow for shirking his work and leaving the bargeto me, that never a moment do I get for seeing to my own affairs. Byrights he ought to be here now, either steering or attending to thehorse, though luckily the horse has sense enough to attend to himself.Instead of which, he's gone off with the dog, to see if they can't pickup a rabbit for dinner somewhere. Says he'll catch me up at the nextlock. Well, that's as may be--I don't trust him, once he gets off withthat dog, who's worse than he is. But meantime, how am I to get on withmy washing?'
'O, never mind about the washing,' said Toad, not liking the subject.'Try and fix your mind on that rabbit. A nice fat young rabbit, I'll bebound. Got any onions?'
'I can't fix my mind on anything but my washing,' said the barge-woman,'and I wonder you can be talking of rabbits, with such a joyful prospectbefore you. There's a heap of things of mine that you'll find ina corner of the cabin. If you'll just take one or two of the mostnecessary sort--I won't venture to describe them to a lady like you, butyou'll recognise them at a glance--and put them through the wash-tub aswe go along, why, it'll be a pleasure to you, as you rightly say, and areal help to me. You'll find a tub handy, and soap, and a kettle on thestove, and a bucket to haul up water from the canal with. Then I shallknow you're enjoying yourself, instead of sitting here idle, looking atthe scenery and yawning your head off.'
'Here, you let me steer!' said Toad, now thoroughly frightened, 'andthen you can get on with your washing your own way. I might spoil yourthings, or not do 'em as you like. I'm more used to gentlemen's thingsmyself. It's my special line.'
'Let you steer?' replied the barge-woman, laughing. 'It takes somepractice to steer a barge properly. Besides, it's dull work, and I wantyou to be happy. No, you shall do the washing you are so fond of, andI'll stick to the steering that I understand. Don't try and deprive meof the pleasure of giving you a treat!'
Toad was fairly cornered. He looked for escape this way and that,saw that he was too far from the bank for a flying leap, and sullenlyresigned himself to his fate. 'If it comes to that,' he thought indesperation, 'I suppose any fool can WASH!'
He fetched tub, soap, and other necessaries from the cabin, selected afew garments at random, tried to recollect what he had seen in casualglances through laundry windows, and set to.
A long half-hour passed, and every minute of it saw Toad getting crosserand crosser. Nothing that he could do to the things seemed to pleasethem or do them good. He tried coaxing, he tried slapping, he triedpunching; they smiled back at him out of the tub unconverted, happy intheir original sin. Once or twice he looked nervously over his shoulderat the barge-woman, but she appeared to be gazing out in front of her,absorbed in her steering. His back ached badly, and he noticed withdismay that his paws were beginning to get all crinkly. Now Toad wasvery proud of his paws. He muttered under his breath words that shouldnever pass the lips of either washerwomen or Toads; and lost the soap,for the fiftieth time.
A burst of laughter made him straighten himself and look round. Thebarge-woman was leaning back and laughing unrestrainedly, till the tearsran down her cheeks.
'I've been watching you all the time,' she gasped. 'I thought youmust be a humbug all along, from the conceited way you talked. Prettywasherwoman you are! Never washed so much as a dish-clout in your life,I'll lay!'
Toad's temper which had been simmering viciously for some time, nowfairly boiled over, and he lost all control of himself.
'You common, low, FAT barge-woman!' he shouted; 'don't you dare to talkto your betters like that! Washerwoman indeed! I would have you to knowthat I am a Toad, a very well-known, respected, distinguished Toad! Imay be under a bit of a cloud at present, but I will NOT be laughed atby a bargewoman!'
The woman moved nearer to him and peered under his bonnet keenly andclosely. 'Why, so you are!' she cried. 'Well, I never! A horrid, nasty,crawly Toad! And in my nice clean barge, too! Now that is a thing that Iwill NOT have.'
She relinquished the tiller for a moment. One big mottled arm shot outand caught Toad by a fore-leg, while the other-gripped him fast by ahind-leg. Then the world turned suddenly upside down, the barge seemedto flit lightly across the sky, the wind whistled in his ears, and Toadfound himself flying through the air, revolving rapidly as he went.
The water, when he eventually reached it with a loud splash, provedquite cold enough for his taste, though its chill was not sufficient toquell his proud spirit, or slake the heat of his furious temper. He roseto the surface spluttering, and when he had wiped the duck-weed out ofhis eyes the first thing he saw was the fat barge-woman looking back athim over the stern of the retreating barge and laughing; and he vowed,as he coughed and choked, to be even with her.
He struck out for the shore, but the cotton gown greatly impeded hisefforts, and when at length he touched land he found it hard to climbup the steep bank unassisted. He had to take a minute or two's rest torecover his breath; then, gathering his wet skirts well over his arms,he started to run after the barge as fast as his legs would carry him,wild with indignation, thirsting for revenge.
The barge-woman was still laughing when he drew up level with her. 'Putyourself through your mangle, washerwoman,' she called out, 'and ironyour face and crimp it, and you'll pass for quite a decent-lookingToad!'
Toad never paused to reply. Solid revenge was what he wanted, not cheap,windy, verbal triumphs, though he had a thing or two in his mind thathe would have liked to say. He saw what he wanted ahead of him. Runningswiftly on he overtook the horse, unfastened the towrope and cast off,jumped lightly on the horse's back, and urged it to a gallop by kickingit vigorously in the sides. He steered for the open country, abandoningthe tow-path, and swinging his steed down a rutty lane. Once he lookedback, and saw that the barge had run aground on the other side of thecanal, and the barge-woman was gesticulating wildly and shouting, 'Stop,stop, stop!' 'I've heard that song before,' said Toad, laughing, as hecontinued to spur his steed onward in its wild career.
The barge-horse was not capable of any very sustained effort, and itsgallop soon subsided into a trot, and its trot into an easy walk; butToad was quite contented with this, knowing that he, at any rate, wasmoving, and the barge was not. He had quite recovered his temper,now that he had done something he thought really clever; and he wassatisfied to jog along quietly in the sun, steering his horse alongby-ways and bridle-paths, and trying to forget how very long it wassince he had had a square meal, till the canal had been left very farbehind him.
He had travelled some miles, his horse and he, and he was feeling drowsyin the hot sunshine, when the horse stopped, lowered his head, andbegan to nibble the grass; and Toad, waking up, just saved himself fromfalling off by an effort. He looked about him and found he was on a widecommon, dotted with patches of gorse and bramble as far as he could see.Near him stood a dingy gipsy caravan, and beside it a man was sitting ona bucket turned upside down, very busy smoking and staring into the wideworld. A fire of sticks was burning near by, and over the fire hung aniron pot, and out of that pot came forth bubblings and gurglings, anda vague suggestive steaminess. Also smells--warm, rich, and variedsmells--that twined and twisted and wreathed themselves at last into onecomplete, voluptuous, perfect smell that seemed like the very soul ofNature taking form and appearing to her children, a true Goddess, amother of solace and comfort. Toad now knew well that he had not beenreally hungry before. What he had felt earlier in the day had been amere trifling qualm. This was the real thing at last, and no mistake;and it would have to be dealt with speedily, too, or there would betrouble for somebody or something. He looked the gipsy over carefully,wondering vaguely whether it would be easier to fight him or cajole him.So there he sat, and sniffed and sniffed, and looked at the gipsy; andthe gipsy sat and smoked, and looked at him.
Presently the gipsy took his pipe out of his mouth and remarked in acareless way, 'Want to sell that there horse of yours?'
Toad was completely taken aback. He did not know that gipsies were veryfond of horse-dealing, and never missed an opportunity, and he hadnot reflected that caravans were always on the move and took a deal ofdrawing. It had not occurred to him to turn the horse into cash, but thegipsy's suggestion seemed to smooth the way towards the two things hewanted so badly--ready money, and a solid breakfast.
'What?' he said, 'me sell this beautiful young horse of mine? O, no;it's out of the question. Who's going to take the washing home to mycustomers every week? Besides, I'm too fond of him, and he simply doteson me.'
'Try and love a donkey,' suggested the gipsy. 'Some people do.'
'You don't seem to see,' continued Toad, 'that this fine horse of mineis a cut above you altogether. He's a blood horse, he is, partly;not the part you see, of course--another part. And he's been a PrizeHackney, too, in his time--that was the time before you knew him, butyou can still tell it on him at a glance, if you understand anythingabout horses. No, it's not to be thought of for a moment. All the same,how much might you be disposed to offer me for this beautiful younghorse of mine?'
The gipsy looked the horse over, and then he looked Toad over with equalcare, and looked at the horse again. 'Shillin' a leg,' he said briefly,and turned away, continuing to smoke and try to stare the wide world outof countenance.
'A shilling a leg?' cried Toad. 'If you please, I must take a littletime to work that out, and see just what it comes to.'
He climbed down off his horse, and left it to graze, and sat down by thegipsy, and did sums on his fingers, and at last he said, 'A shilling aleg? Why, that comes to exactly four shillings, and no more. O, no; Icould not think of accepting four shillings for this beautiful younghorse of mine.'
'Well,' said the gipsy, 'I'll tell you what I will do. I'll make it fiveshillings, and that's three-and-sixpence more than the animal's worth.And that's my last word.'
Then Toad sat and pondered long and deeply. For he was hungry and quitepenniless, and still some way--he knew not how far--from home, andenemies might still be looking for him. To one in such a situation, fiveshillings may very well appear a large sum of money. On the other hand,it did not seem very much to get for a horse. But then, again, the horsehadn't cost him anything; so whatever he got was all clear profit. Atlast he said firmly, 'Look here, gipsy! I tell you what we will do; andthis is MY last word. You shall hand me over six shillings and sixpence,cash down; and further, in addition thereto, you shall give me as muchbreakfast as I can possibly eat, at one sitting of course, out of thatiron pot of yours that keeps sending forth such delicious and excitingsmells. In return, I will make over to you my spirited young horse, withall the beautiful harness and trappings that are on him, freely thrownin. If that's not good enough for you, say so, and I'll be getting on. Iknow a man near here who's wanted this horse of mine for years.'
The gipsy grumbled frightfully, and declared if he did a few more dealsof that sort he'd be ruined. But in the end he lugged a dirty canvas bagout of the depths of his trouser pocket, and counted out six shillingsand sixpence into Toad's paw. Then he disappeared into the caravan foran instant, and returned with a large iron plate and a knife, fork,and spoon. He tilted up the pot, and a glorious stream of hot rich stewgurgled into the plate. It was, indeed, the most beautiful stew in theworld, being made of partridges, and pheasants, and chickens, andhares, and rabbits, and pea-hens, and guinea-fowls, and one or two otherthings. Toad took the plate on his lap, almost crying, and stuffed,and stuffed, and stuffed, and kept asking for more, and the gipsy nevergrudged it him. He thought that he had never eaten so good a breakfastin all his life.
When Toad had taken as much stew on board as he thought he couldpossibly hold, he got up and said good-bye to the gipsy, and tookan affectionate farewell of the horse; and the gipsy, who knew theriverside well, gave him directions which way to go, and he set forth onhis travels again in the best possible spirits. He was, indeed, a verydifferent Toad from the animal of an hour ago. The sun was shiningbrightly, his wet clothes were quite dry again, he had money in hispocket once more, he was nearing home and friends and safety, and, mostand best of all, he had had a substantial meal, hot and nourishing, andfelt big, and strong, and careless, and self-confident.
As he tramped along gaily, he thought of his adventures and escapes, andhow when things seemed at their worst he had always managed to find away out; and his pride and conceit began to swell within him. 'Ho, ho!'he said to himself as he marched along with his chin in the air, 'whata clever Toad I am! There is surely no animal equal to me for clevernessin the whole world! My enemies shut me up in prison, encircled bysentries, watched night and day by warders; I walk out through them all,by sheer ability coupled with courage. They pursue me with engines,and policemen, and revolvers; I snap my fingers at them, and vanish,laughing, into space. I am, unfortunately, thrown into a canal by awoman fat of body and very evil-minded. What of it? I swim ashore, Iseize her horse, I ride off in triumph, and I sell the horse for a wholepocketful of money and an excellent breakfast! Ho, ho! I am The Toad,the handsome, the popular, the successful Toad!' He got so puffed upwith conceit that he made up a song as he walked in praise of himself,and sang it at the top of his voice, though there was no one to hearit but him. It was perhaps the most conceited song that any animal evercomposed.
'The world has held great Heroes, As history-books have showed; But never a name to go down to fame Compared with that of Toad!
'The clever men at Oxford Know all that there is to be knowed. But they none of them know one half as much As intelligent Mr. Toad!
'The animals sat in the Ark and cried, Their tears in torrents flowed. Who was it said, ”There's land ahead?” Encouraging Mr. Toad!
'The army all saluted As they marched along the road. Was it the King? Or Kitchener? No. It was Mr. Toad.
'The Queen and her Ladies-in-waiting Sat at the window and sewed. She cried, ”Look! who's that _handsome_ man?” They answered, ”Mr. Toad.”'
There was a great deal more of the same sort, but too dreadfullyconceited to be written down. These are some of the milder verses.
He sang as he walked, and he walked as he sang, and got more inflatedevery minute. But his pride was shortly to have a severe fall.
After some miles of country lanes he reached the high road, and as heturned into it and glanced along its white length, he saw approachinghim a speck that turned into a dot and then into a blob, and then intosomething very familiar; and a double note of warning, only too wellknown, fell on his delighted ear.
'This is something like!' said the excited Toad. 'This is real lifeagain, this is once more the great world from which I have been missedso long! I will hail them, my brothers of the wheel, and pitch them ayarn, of the sort that has been so successful hitherto; and they willgive me a lift, of course, and then I will talk to them some more; and,perhaps, with luck, it may even end in my driving up to Toad Hall in amotor-car! That will be one in the eye for Badger!'
He stepped confidently out into the road to hail the motor-car, whichcame along at an easy pace, slowing down as it neared the lane; whensuddenly he became very pale, his heart turned to water, his knees shookand yielded under him, and he doubled up and collapsed with a sickeningpain in his interior. And well he might, the unhappy animal; for theapproaching car was the very one he had stolen out of the yard of theRed Lion Hotel on that fatal day when all his troubles began! Andthe people in it were the very same people he had sat and watched atluncheon in the coffee-room!
He sank down in a shabby, miserable heap in the road, murmuring tohimself in his despair, 'It's all up! It's all over now! Chains andpolicemen again! Prison again! Dry bread and water again! O, what afool I have been! What did I want to go strutting about the country for,singing conceited songs, and hailing people in broad day on the highroad, instead of hiding till nightfall and slipping home quietly by backways! O hapless Toad! O ill-fated animal!'
The terrible motor-car drew slowly nearer and nearer, till at last heheard it stop just short of him. Two gentlemen got out and walked roundthe trembling heap of crumpled misery lying in the road, and one of themsaid, 'O dear! this is very sad! Here is a poor old thing--a washerwomanapparently--who has fainted in the road! Perhaps she is overcome by theheat, poor creature; or possibly she has not had any food to-day. Letus lift her into the car and take her to the nearest village, wheredoubtless she has friends.'
They tenderly lifted Toad into the motor-car and propped him up withsoft cushions, and proceeded on their way.
When Toad heard them talk in so kind and sympathetic a way, andknew that he was not recognised, his courage began to revive, and hecautiously opened first one eye and then the other.
'Look!' said one of the gentlemen, 'she is better already. The fresh airis doing her good. How do you feel now, ma'am?'
'Thank you kindly, Sir,' said Toad in a feeble voice, 'I'm feeling agreat deal better!' 'That's right,' said the gentleman. 'Now keep quitestill, and, above all, don't try to talk.'
'I won't,' said Toad. 'I was only thinking, if I might sit on the frontseat there, beside the driver, where I could get the fresh air full inmy face, I should soon be all right again.'
'What a very sensible woman!' said the gentleman. 'Of course you shall.'So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat beside the driver, andon they went again.
Toad was almost himself again by now. He sat up, looked about him, andtried to beat down the tremors, the yearnings, the old cravings thatrose up and beset him and took possession of him entirely.
'It is fate!' he said to himself. 'Why strive? why struggle?' and heturned to the driver at his side.
'Please, Sir,' he said, 'I wish you would kindly let me try and drivethe car for a little. I've been watching you carefully, and it looks soeasy and so interesting, and I should like to be able to tell my friendsthat once I had driven a motor-car!'
The driver laughed at the proposal, so heartily that the gentlemaninquired what the matter was. When he heard, he said, to Toad's delight,'Bravo, ma'am! I like your spirit. Let her have a try, and look afterher. She won't do any harm.'
Toad eagerly scrambled into the seat vacated by the driver, took thesteering-wheel in his hands, listened with affected humility to theinstructions given him, and set the car in motion, but very slowly andcarefully at first, for he was determined to be prudent.
The gentlemen behind clapped their hands and applauded, and Toad heardthem saying, 'How well she does it! Fancy a washerwoman driving a car aswell as that, the first time!'
Toad went a little faster; then faster still, and faster.
He heard the gentlemen call out warningly, 'Be careful, washerwoman!'And this annoyed him, and he began to lose his head.
The driver tried to interfere, but he pinned him down in his seat withone elbow, and put on full speed. The rush of air in his face, the humof the engines, and the light jump of the car beneath him intoxicatedhis weak brain. 'Washerwoman, indeed!' he shouted recklessly. 'Ho! ho!I am the Toad, the motor-car snatcher, the prison-breaker, the Toad whoalways escapes! Sit still, and you shall know what driving reallyis, for you are in the hands of the famous, the skilful, the entirelyfearless Toad!'
With a cry of horror the whole party rose and flung themselves on him.'Seize him!' they cried, 'seize the Toad, the wicked animal whostole our motor-car! Bind him, chain him, drag him to the nearestpolice-station! Down with the desperate and dangerous Toad!'
Alas! they should have thought, they ought to have been more prudent,they should have remembered to stop the motor-car somehow before playingany pranks of that sort. With a half-turn of the wheel the Toad sentthe car crashing through the low hedge that ran along the roadside. Onemighty bound, a violent shock, and the wheels of the car were churningup the thick mud of a horse-pond.
Toad found himself flying through the air with the strong upward rushand delicate curve of a swallow. He liked the motion, and was justbeginning to wonder whether it would go on until he developed wings andturned into a Toad-bird, when he landed on his back with a thump, in thesoft rich grass of a meadow. Sitting up, he could just see the motor-carin the pond, nearly submerged; the gentlemen and the driver, encumberedby their long coats, were floundering helplessly in the water.
He picked himself up rapidly, and set off running across country as hardas he could, scrambling through hedges, jumping ditches, pounding acrossfields, till he was breathless and weary, and had to settle down intoan easy walk. When he had recovered his breath somewhat, and was able tothink calmly, he began to giggle, and from giggling he took to laughing,and he laughed till he had to sit down under a hedge. 'Ho, ho!' hecried, in ecstasies of self-admiration, 'Toad again! Toad, as usual,comes out on the top! Who was it got them to give him a lift? Whomanaged to get on the front seat for the sake of fresh air? Whopersuaded them into letting him see if he could drive? Who landed themall in a horse-pond? Who escaped, flying gaily and unscathed through theair, leaving the narrow-minded, grudging, timid excursionists in the mudwhere they should rightly be? Why, Toad, of course; clever Toad, greatToad, GOOD Toad!'
Then he burst into song again, and chanted with uplifted voice--
'The motor-car went Poop-poop-poop, As it raced along the road. Who was it steered it into a pond? Ingenious Mr. Toad!
O, how clever I am! How clever, how clever, how very clev----'
A slight noise at a distance behind him made him turn his head and look.O horror! O misery! O despair!
About two fields off, a chauffeur in his leather gaiters and two largerural policemen were visible, running towards him as hard as they couldgo!
Poor Toad sprang to his feet and pelted away again, his heart in hismouth. O, my!' he gasped, as he panted along, 'what an ASS I am! What aCONCEITED and heedless ass! Swaggering again! Shouting and singing songsagain! Sitting still and gassing again! O my! O my! O my!'
He glanced back, and saw to his dismay that they were gaining on him.On he ran desperately, but kept looking back, and saw that they stillgained steadily. He did his best, but he was a fat animal, and his legswere short, and still they gained. He could hear them close behind himnow. Ceasing to heed where he was going, he struggled on blindly andwildly, looking back over his shoulder at the now triumphant enemy, whensuddenly the earth failed under his feet, he grasped at the air, and,splash! he found himself head over ears in deep water, rapid water,water that bore him along with a force he could not contend with; and heknew that in his blind panic he had run straight into the river!
He rose to the surface and tried to grasp the reeds and the rushes thatgrew along the water's edge close under the bank, but the stream was sostrong that it tore them out of his hands. 'O my!' gasped poor Toad,'if ever I steal a motor-car again! If ever I sing another conceitedsong'--then down he went, and came up breathless and spluttering.Presently he saw that he was approaching a big dark hole in the bank,just above his head, and as the stream bore him past he reached up witha paw and caught hold of the edge and held on. Then slowly and withdifficulty he drew himself up out of the water, till at last he was ableto rest his elbows on the edge of the hole. There he remained for someminutes, puffing and panting, for he was quite exhausted.
As he sighed and blew and stared before him into the dark hole, somebright small thing shone and twinkled in its depths, moving towardshim. As it approached, a face grew up gradually around it, and it was afamiliar face!
Brown and small, with whiskers.
Grave and round, with neat ears and silky hair.
It was the Water Rat!