A Long Way From Home by Cathy Glass
‘Great.’ I picked up my pen, slid the booklet so it was between us and I could see the words, and read out the first question. ‘Do you know why you are in care?’
‘Yes,’ she said.
‘Can you tell me why,’ I encouraged, ‘so I can write it down?’
She thought for a moment. ‘Because I’ve been very bad at home.’
I looked at her, taken aback. ‘No, love, that’s not the reason. You’re not bad. Your mother was finding it difficult without your dad and needed time alone.’ No child should ever believe themselves to be bad, and it wasn’t Anna that was causing the problems but her behaviour.
‘Mummy needed to be alone because of me,’ Anna said quietly and without emotion.
‘Who told you that?’ I asked.
‘No one. I just know.’ I continued to look at her. ‘Write it,’ she said, nudging my arm. ‘Why aren’t you writing? You have to write because I have been bad at home.’
‘You really want me to put that?’
‘Yes.’
So I wrote it.
The next question asked if the child knew who their social worker was and Anna shook her head. I told her it was Lori and then I wrote Anna didn’t know her name so I reminded her. I said the words out loud as I wrote them so Anna knew exactly what I was writing.
The next question asked: Would you like to see more of your social worker? Anna shook her head so I wrote No.
The next question asked what she liked about living with her foster carer.
‘Nothing,’ she said without any need to think.
‘Nothing at all?’ I asked, feeling a little hurt. She shook her head. ‘What about the milkshakes and puddings I make you? You like those.’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Well, you eat them.’
She shrugged. ‘Write nothing,’ she said, nudging my arm again.
So I wrote Nothing and wondered what the review would make of this.
The next question asked what she didn’t like about living with her foster family and Anna had plenty to say. ‘I don’t like you, I don’t like Adrian and Paula, I don’t like your cat, I don’t like your house and I don’t like having to stay in my bed.’ There was so much it barely fitted in the space provided.
‘Anything else?’ I asked.
‘Yes. I don’t like you,’ she said again.
‘I think we’ve already covered that,’ I said, pointing to the first line. I then turned the page and read out the next question. ‘What has gone well for you since your last review? I’ll write N/A, which stands for not applicable,’ I said, ‘as this is your first review.’
She eyed me suspiciously. Likewise the next question was: What has gone badly since your last review? I read it out and told her I was writing N/A again.
Who are your friends? was the next question. Anna said, ‘Don’t know.’ Which was very sad. Most children of Anna’s age can name a few good friends.
‘Who do you play with at school?’ I asked.
‘Anyone.’ She shrugged despondently but I could see the pain in her eyes. I didn’t push it further as I knew from Mrs Taylor that Anna was struggling to make friends because she was very bossy and controlling. I wrote Anna doesn’t know who her friends are. The next question asked if the child would like to see more of their friends and Anna shrugged, so I wrote Anna wasn’t sure. The following question was If you have a problem, who do you talk to? She looked puzzled, so I rephrased it.
‘If you have something worrying you, who would you tell?’
‘Mrs Taylor,’ she said.
I wrote Mrs Taylor, Anna’s teacher. Interesting, as most children would have said Mummy. ‘You know you can always talk to me and tell me your worries?’ I said. Anna ignored me, so I moved to the final question. ‘Is there anything you want to ask?’
She shrugged, then said, ‘Will I go home?’ A question asked by most children in care and I wrote it down, but Anna was looking at me for a reply.
‘I don’t know, love,’ I said, ‘but for now I will look after you. You won’t have to move again until everything is sorted out.’
‘Will I have to go on a plane again?’
‘Not unless we all go on holiday.’
‘When can I see my mummy?’
‘Your adoptive mother?’ I clarified.
Anna nodded.
‘I’m not sure yet. Would you like to?’
‘Yes,’ she said quietly.
My heart clenched. ‘I’ll write that down too then: Anna would like to know when she can see her mummy,’ I said as I wrote.
But would her mother want to see her? I had no idea, but I sincerely hoped so.
Chapter Twenty-One
Review
On Wednesday I met Jill in the reception of the council offices ten minutes before Anna’s review was due to start. We signed in the Visitors’ Book and then made our way up to the first floor. ‘Hopefully we’ll meet Anna’s parents,’ Jill said, voicing my thoughts.
‘Yes, indeed.’ Although I felt a familiar surge of nervousness at meeting the child’s parents for the first time.
Lori was already in the meeting room, seated at the large oak table next to a man she introduced as the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO). LAC reviews are chaired and minuted by an IRO who is a qualified social worker with extra training, and unconnected with the social services. Jill and I gave him our names and roles – supervising social worker and foster carer – as we sat and he noted these. I handed him the review forms Anna and I had completed and he thanked me.
The door opened and Miss Rich came in carrying a folder. The child’s teacher or TA are usually invited to the review. Lori introduced her to the IRO and she sat on the other side of the table to Jill and me.
‘Are we expecting anyone else?’ the IRO asked Lori. She would have drawn up the list of those to invite and sent the invitations.
‘No,’ she said. ‘The parents aren’t coming.’ I was disappointed and also knew this didn’t bode well for any hope of Anna seeing them or returning home.
Sometimes there are many present at a review or, as with Anna’s, just a few. Even so, the formality is maintained. The IRO opened the meeting, thanked us for coming and then asked us to introduce ourselves. We went round the table stating our names and roles. Introductions over, he began by saying this was the first review for Anna Hudson, aged five, although it was her third foster care placement since coming into care. Background information like this would have been sent to him prior to the review. Then, as often happened in reviews, the IRO asked me as the foster carer to speak first, simply because the carer usually has the latest information on how the child is doing. I glanced at the page of notes I’d brought with me and felt my pulse quicken. Although there were only five of us, all eyes were on me and I took a breath. I always start by saying something positive about the child, even if they have very challenging behaviour.
‘Anna is eating well,’ I said, ‘has good self-care skills and is going to school each day. She is also sleeping well now and in her own bed.’
‘Well done,’ Lori said, appreciating the significance of this.
‘Where was she sleeping before?’ the IRO asked as he took notes.
‘With her parents in their bed,’ Lori said.
The IRO nodded and looked to me to continue.
‘Anna has some very challenging behaviour,’ I said, having exhausted the positives, ‘and I am working on that. She is used to doing as she wants and being in control. It’s taking time for her to learn that this isn’t always in her best interest. She resists adult authority and struggles to show affection either verbally or physically. For example, she hasn’t once said she misses her parents. She is also very confused about her past.’
‘In what respect?’ the IRO asked, looking up from writing. ‘She was under three when she was adopted.’
‘Yes, but the past is still very vivid for her and from what I have seen it has created a lot of confusion and insecurity in her. She?
‘Coming into care couldn’t have helped her confusion and insecurity,’ the IRO observed dryly as he made a note.
‘She’s been diagnosed with an attachment disorder,’ Lori put in. ‘We’ve made a referral to CAMHS [Children’s and Adolescent Mental Health Service] and the educational psychologist, but there is a waiting list for both.’
The IRO nodded and looked at me. ‘And presumably you reassure Anna and answer her questions as best you can?’
‘Yes, although she doesn’t really have many questions. She keeps it all bottled up.’
‘Why aren’t her parents here?’ the IRO now asked Lori.
‘Anna’s mother didn’t feel she could cope with it, and she wasn’t sure what good it would do. I’ve only just traced the father and he said he didn’t think he could contribute much to the meeting. Both parents are struggling with what has happened.’
The IRO made a note and looked to me to continue.
‘I am helping Anna with her school work and am working closely with Miss Rich, her TA.’ Miss Rich nodded. ‘Sometimes Anna is very resistant to learning and finds it difficult. She’s on a reduced timetable at school.’ I didn’t say any more about Anna’s education as Miss Rich would give her report later. ‘I try to involve Anna in my family’s life, but often she prefers to play independently – in the same room. She finds it difficult to make friends.’
‘You have children of your own?’ the IRO asked.
‘Yes, two.’
‘How does she get on with them?’
‘She doesn’t really,’ I had to say. ‘I’ve tried, and it’s early days yet, but she struggles to know how to make friends. It’s the same at school and other children are wary of her angry outbursts.’
‘Is she angry often?’ the IRO asked.
‘Yes.’
‘How does she show it?’
‘She screams, and tries to hit and kick people and throw objects.’
‘What does she get angry about?’ the IRO asked.
‘Anything she doesn’t want to do. I have to hold her sometimes when she is very angry to stop her from hurting herself or others. And you should know she can make things up. I’ve had a few incidents, which I’ve noted in my log, where Anna has said something that was blatantly untrue. Some of it she has repeated at school to her teacher and TA.’
‘For example?’ the IRO asked.
‘She said my son was bullying her.’
‘I take it he’s not?’
‘No, of course not,’ I said, a little irritated. ‘She doesn’t want anything to do with my children and they are never alone. Anna was told off at school for bullying and retaliated by accusing my son of doing the same. My supervising social worker, Jill, is aware.’
As the IRO made a note Lori added, ‘There was a similar incident at the previous carers’.’ I looked at Jill; this was news to us.
‘What happened?’ the IRO asked.
‘Anna threw their cat down the stairs and when I spoke to her about it she said she’d done it because she was angry with the carer for hitting her. The carer is adamant she didn’t hit Anna.’
I held Jill’s gaze. I should have been told at the start that Anna had made false allegations, instead of letting me find out the hard way.
‘They were new carers and might not continue to foster now, which is a pity,’ Lori added.
‘Great pity,’ Jill said pointedly under her breath.
‘Thank you, Cathy,’ the IRO said. ‘Is there anything else you would like to add?’
I glanced at my notes. ‘Not really. Hopefully the referral to CAMHS will help.’
‘And Anna can stay with you until a decision is made on her future?’ he asked. It was a standard question.
‘Yes. She must. She can’t have another move.’
He nodded and now looked at Lori. ‘Would you like to give your report next?’
Lori sat upright in her seat as I sat back in mine and tried to relax. I was still smarting at the IRO’s suggestion that Adrian might have bullied Anna. The worry with unfounded allegations, apart from them being hurtful and causing trouble, is that they can leave a stain, even though they’re completely untrue. Anna’s previous carers wouldn’t be the first to stop fostering because of being wrongly accused.
‘Anna is in care under a Section 20 at her mother’s request,’ Lori was saying. ‘She was adopted from –’ and she gave the name of the country. ‘The parents, Elaine and Ian, couldn’t have children of their own. They followed the correct procedures for international adoption and passed the assessment. It seems likely that Anna was badly neglected as an infant in the orphanage and during the brief spells she spent with her birth mother. As a result she failed to form positive attachments. She was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder prior to coming into care and I’ve asked for a copy of that report. The parents paid to see a psychologist privately, but I understand from Anna’s mother that no treatment followed the diagnosis.’ Lori paused to allow the IRO time to write.
‘There is no contact at present,’ Lori continued, ‘and the care plan is that Anna should return home, but that is looking increasingly unlikely. The parents are separated now and neither feels they can offer Anna a permanent home, so I am looking into kinship carers, but that isn’t hopeful. Both Elaine’s parents are dead. Ian’s parents are living but are in their seventies, and they had reservations about them adopting from abroad from the beginning. Ian has a brother but they already have three children. Elaine’s sister has been supportive but she is single and has a career. She has said she will think about offering Anna a permanent home, but she hadn’t planned to have children and would be reluctant to take a career break, which is what would be required for Anna’s high level of needs. If she does put herself forward then we will assess her.’ Relatives wanting to look after a child in care still have to be assessed and police checked, just as foster carers do, and they are not always accepted.
‘Anna is in good physical health,’ Lori continued, ‘and she’s up to date with her vaccinations, and dental and optician check-ups.’
‘Any accidents or illnesses since coming into care?’ the IRO asked. It was another standard question.
‘No,’ Lori confirmed. ‘And no exclusions from school, although she is on a reduced timetable. I know Miss Rich will cover that later.’
‘Any complaints about Anna’s care from the parents?’ he now asked. This question was usually put to the child’s parents if they were present.
‘Anna’s mother was concerned that Anna has had to move twice since coming into care but appreciated why that was necessary.’
He made a note. ‘What are the parents’ long-term wishes for the child?’
‘They don’t know. The mother is very distressed. Putting Anna into care was a last resort. She was close to breaking point and I’ve advised her to see her doctor.’
The IRO nodded. ‘And she doesn’t want contact now?’
‘No.’
‘Will you be applying for a Full Care Order?’ he now asked Lori.
‘Not at present, but the department will have to consider it in the future.’ A Full Care Order would transfer parental rights and responsibility to the local authority.
With Lori having finished her report, it was the turn of Miss Rich, and she looked slightly nervous and flushed as she started to speak. She had my sympathy. Speaking at a meeting is a bit of an ordeal if you aren’t used to it. She began with some background information. ‘Anna was in the school’s nursery from the age of three and a half and then joined the reception class when she was four. I have been her TA since last September. I give her support in the classroom in the morning and take her with two others in a small group in the afternoon. She attends school from ten o’clock to two o’clock each day.’
‘When were her hours reduced?’ the IRO asked.
‘So three months ago. Whose decision was that?’
‘It was a joint decision between the school and the parents – they were still together then. Anna’s behaviour at home had deteriorated badly and she wasn’t engaging at school, so it was thought reduced hours might help her cope. We were thinking she would return to a full timetable by the end of this term, but with all the recent disruption we don’t think she is ready yet.’
‘How is her behaviour at school now?’ the IRO asked.
‘Very difficult at times. She is behind with her learning and struggles to concentrate. She becomes easily frustrated and then disruptive. She’s working at about a year behind her actual age. We’ve asked that the educational psychologist assess her. I’ve brought some recent test results with me. Would you like to hear them?’
‘Yes, please,’ the IRO said.
Miss Rich read out the test results, which showed Anna was working at reception level – about aged four. Then she went through Anna’s Personal Education Plan, of which I had a copy on file at home.
The IRO thanked her and said he’d make a note that Anna was working towards rejoining school full-time.
He asked Jill if she would like to add anything and she said: ‘My role is to supervise, support and monitor Cathy in all aspects of her fostering. We are in regular contact by phone and I also visit her every month when we discuss the child’s progress. Cathy is an experienced and dedicated foster carer and I know she will ask for help and advice if necessary. Clearly Anna is presenting some very challenging behaviour, but I am satisfied that Cathy is doing all she can to meet Anna’s needs. I have no concerns and am happy with the level of care Anna is receiving.’