Among the Echoes by Aly Martinez
He lets out a loud sigh before responding, "You have no idea. Come here, beautiful." He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I hurry over, slamming into his chest.
"How was your flight?" I ask, but something feels off. He seems nervous and even a little bit angry.
"Long. I’m exhausted."
"Yeah. Me too. Do you want to go to bed?" I question nervously.
He’s acting so freaking weird.
"No, I want you to swear to me that, as soon as this is over, you’ll marry me and we can move to a small city, where I only have to leave the house to go to the gym. I want a huge privacy fence where no one can take pictures. And a yard full of Rottweilers for those who are brave enough to try. Basically I want to live in a private little bubble with you and no one else—and especially not Bella Sloan." He rolls his eyes at the mere mention of her name.
I smile huge and immediately look down so he doesn’t see how much I needed to hear him say that. Tears of relief sparkle in my eyes as I look up at him. "That sounds like a fantastic idea."
He barely brushes his lips over mine as he says, "It hurt to kiss her."
"I’m sorry you had to let her touch you."
"No, it wasn’t that. It hurt when I looked up and didn’t see your eyes. That was agonizing."
"Slate," I whisper only inches from his mouth.
"Kiss me."
I have no choice but to obey. His tongue rolls into my mouth, forcing a moan from my throat. I quickly climb up his body, needing to feel more of a connection.
I pull away only long enough to tell another truth. I say it just as much for myself as I do for him. "I love you. I know it didn’t mean anything."
"Erica, you're wrong. It meant a fuck of a lot to me," he growls, leaning me against the cool wall. My back arches, thrusting my hips forward and causing us both to gasp.
"I’m sorry."
"It means that I get to keep you. That is not a sacrifice." His words hit me in that deep spot that only Slate knows exists.
"I love you," I repeat when any adequate words fail me.
"I will do absolutely anything to keep you, but I’m not doing that again. We’ll find another way, but that was the one and only time I look up into eyes that aren’t yours."
I quickly agree because I don’t know if I can handle it again either. I know it was a stupid ploy, but it doesn’t change that fact that it still hurt like hell.
"Take your contacts out. I can’t stand them tonight."
Not willing to wait a single moment longer, I reach up and peel them both from my eyes, tossing them to the floor.
"There she is." He stares with such awe that it causes my chest to ache. He watches me for a few seconds until a mischievous smile plays on his lips.
"When you kissed her, I couldn’t watch," I admit, burying my head into his neck.
"That’s good, beautiful. If you could have watched, I really would have questioned this."
I immediately lift my head and find his lopsided grin. Yeah, the world is right again.
"You stink. Like perfume and cigarettes," I snip just to wipe the smile from his face, but it only makes it grow.
"God, her perfume was terrible. I stood outside in the smoking section just so I didn’t have to smell her," he jokes before shoving a hand down the back of my pants to grab my ass. "Take a shower with me."
"Mmm…I can do that."
He walks toward the bedroom, never bothering to put me down. "So, do you think it worked?" he asks just as we get to the bathroom.
I unbutton his pants, and he pulls my shirt over my head, immediately leaning forward to suck a nipple into his mouth. I groan, swaying back, but his strong arm holds me tight against his mouth.
"You’ve been all over ESPN for the last four hours. I think you got more coverage than the actual fight," I say, slowly stroking his growing cock.
He flips on the shower before gliding his hand between my legs. Pulling me with him, he steps under the water.
"Now what?" I ask.
"Now we stay out of sight and wait, but we get to do that together." He continues tight circles against my clit, sending me close to the edge. Just before I come, he spins me around to face the wall and thrusts hard inside me. "Together," he repeats, quickly sliding out before slamming into me. It’s by far the wildest Slate has ever been with me, but it doesn’t scare me. It actually lights me on fire.
For two hours, Slate and I stay in the shower. He never stops touching me, even when we get to the bathing part. His hands roam over every curve of my body. They aren’t always gentle, but they are never rough. By the time we head for bed, the sun is already blazing through the windows. I’m exhausted and probably could have fallen asleep hours ago, but as much as I needed to hear Slate’s words of reassurance, I think he needed to feel my commitment to reassure himself.
Two weeks later….
"Can we talk for a minute?" Leo asks, walking into my bedroom. His eyes flash around the room, presumably looking for Erica.
"She’s taking a bath," I say, answering his unspoken question. "What’s up?"
He glances behind me at the bathroom door as he breathes a sigh of relief. He signals me to follow him into the hall. "I have to go somewhere for a few days. I’m not sure when I’ll be back." He looks down and swallows hard.
"What’s going on? Did something happen?" I take a step forward, but his eyes stay stuck to the ground.
"Look, I can’t do this anymore. I just need to get away for a while. She’s safe with you. I’ve got a few things to do, and now seems like a good time," he replies, finally lifting his eyes to mine, and I immediately know that he’s hiding something.
"You are so full of shit. Now tell me what the fuck is really going on?" I demand.
"Just tell her I went to run an errand, maybe close down the old apartment or something."
"I’m not lying to her. If that’s the bullshit you want to tell, then do it your damn self," I bite out, closing the bedroom door just to be sure she can’t hear the conversation.
"I can’t live like this anymore," he says in a sad tone that is more alarming than the actual words.
"What the fuck is going on with you? You’re not making any sense here. Are you going on vacation to clear your head or are you leaving for good?"
"I don’t know yet," he snaps as his frustration wins over the turmoil. "Here. I wanted you to have this. It’s the file I’ve been making since I was undercover. It documents everything from the first night I met Erica to the present. If anything happens while I’m gone, you turn that over to the police. I left the phone number of my contact at the program. If anything happens, you call them first, get her sorted, then you disappear. She won’t leave you, but you have to swear to me that, if you can’t get in touch with me, you will leave her in their custody."
"What the fuck are you talking about? God damn it. You are not leaving her like this. Not until you start making sense and tell me what the hell is going on," I bark, but he ignores me and continues to talk about Erica.
"It will break her heart to lose you, but you have to swear you will put her back in the program."
"No," I say simply, but that one single word makes him explode.
He suddenly pushes me back against the wall, holding a forearm against my throat. His eyes are feral and his chest heaves as he pins me. "God damn it. I’m not fucking around here. Swear to me!" he roars.
"What’s wrong?" Erica questions as she rushes into the hallway. She’s soaking wet and wrapped in her bathrobe.
As if a switch was flipped, Leo instantly transforms. He takes a step away, plastering on a fake smile as he turns to look at her.
"Hey, babe. Your boyfriend here was just pissing me off. Same shit, different day." He smiles and takes a step toward her. "I’m going to go run some errands. You want me to pick up dinner?" he says nonchalantly, blatantly lying.
Her eyes flash between us, but even as I stand stunned, Leo looks positively unaffected. It doesn’t take but a few secon
"No, I’m going to cook tonight."
"All right. Well, I’m heading out." He gives her shoulder a squeeze, but his emotions manage to escape from behind the mask.
"Where are you going?" she asks, sensing his discomfort.
"I’m just going to hit the store, maybe pick up some movies. Any requests?" He gives me a nod and turns to walk away.
"You’re lying," she calls as she follows him down the hall.
He walks towards the door, pausing only to pick up his duffel bag. "I’ll be back," he says, never turning to face her.
"Since when do you need a bag to go to the store? Seriously, where are you going?" she asks, and I can see the panic escalating inside her. I try to pull her into my arms, but she bats my hands away. "Where. Are. You. Going?" she finally yells at him.
He turns around but he doesn’t look at her. Instead, his eyes find mine. "You need to hold on to her. She can’t follow me down and make a spectacle on the streets."
"Where are you going?" she yells again while stepping up into his face. But even though she’s crowding him, he ignores her completely.
He holds my eyes from across the room and gives me one final plea, "Swear to me."
And with those words, I know without a doubt that this will be the last time I ever see Leo James. Where he is going and why are still a mystery, but as I look into his eyes, I know that he has absolutely no plans of returning.
"I swear," I respond even though I’m not sure I could ever let Erica go, but I have a feeling he needs to hear it.
He sucks in a deep breath and closes his eyes. A small smile of relief tilts the corner of his mouth as I can physically see the invisible weight lifted from his shoulders.
"Leo, please talk to me. Where are you going?" Erica begins to cry as she begs for the answers I can tell he has no intention of giving her.
He suddenly opens his eyes and pulls her into a hug, breathing in the scent of her damp hair. "I love you. You’re safe now, Erica."
Just as quickly as he pulled her against him, he pushes her away and walks out the door. Tears are streaming down her face as she screams his name, but Leo never once looks back. She rushes into the hall after him, but I loop her around the waist to stop her from following him any farther. He’s right—she can’t go out there making a scene in the middle of the streets, and I sure as hell can’t go down to stop her. She fights against my grip, but I hold her tight and carry her back into the apartment.
"You have to stop him," she says between sobs.
But what I only recognize now is that Leo was already gone before he ever even walked into the bedroom.
The day Leo left, Erica alternated between crying, pacing, calling his phone, and searching his room for clues about where he could be going. I had no idea what to do, and finally, I cornered her and gave her no other option but to lean on me. I didn’t restrain her, but I made it clear that she’s not in this alone. She finally relented and spent the night in my arms. She didn’t sleep, but she curled in tight and allowed me to at least share her emotional burden. She loves Leo, and by all accounts, he loves her too. Which is why his sudden departure makes absolutely no sense.
Leo left all the credit cards I had given him when he took off. And while I wasn’t really keeping up with the cash he spent, it doesn’t appear as though he took any money either. Which, to me, means he went back into the program or knew he wouldn’t live long enough to need money. Either way, it makes me really fucking nervous. However, right now, Erica has to be my main focus. He would have told me if there was any immediate danger. I refuse to believe that he would ever turn his back on Erica without being absolutely certain she was safe, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t beefed up security.
Johnson hired three new guards within twelve hours of when Leo left. I made him the new head of security, but I’m definitely keeping my finger on the pulse now more than I did when Leo was running the show. Erica has never really snapped out of her walking trance. She mostly just moves between our bedroom and the rec room. Her nose stays stuck to her Kindle or she just stares into space. Gone is my Erica, the funny one who laughs and jokes around. She isn’t even the scared and timid Riley I originally met. She’s just lost.
We haven’t talked much in the three days since Leo’s been gone, but every night, as she crawls into bed, she slides up beside me, holding me closer than ever before. I try to give her space to grieve, but it’s killing me to watch. So the moments when she leans on me mean the world.
The minute Leo left, I locked the file he gave me away in the fireproof safe. I am the only person who has the combination, but it still needs to be housed somewhere else for safekeeping. Should anything happen to me—or, God forbid, Erica—I want there to be undeniable proof about where to point the finger. Today, I’m scanning it and emailing a copy to the only person I trust not to read it, Jimmy Douglas.
While Erica is lying on the couch in the rec room, mindlessly staring at some TV show that I know she has absolutely no interest in watching, I head to the office to send it out. I have no idea what’s inside. I only know that Leo told me that he’d documented his time with Erica. Before now, I had no intention of actually taking the time to read it, but seeing her name on the very first page changes my mind completely.
For over an hour, I scour through Leo’s notes from when he was working undercover with Rodriguez. Not having a strong firsthand knowledge of the underbellies of the drug world, I just assumed these guys were big-time dealers with even bigger connections. But to read Leo telling it, they are hardcore, whatever-it-takes murderers as well. They thrive on innocent lives to get them ahead and have no compunction in taking them out when their services are no longer required. Case in point—Erica.
I read through his notes, engrossed in the world he embraced as Marcus Torres. I told Erica I would never ask, and this is probably the roundabout way of breaking that promise, but I can’t stop my hands from turning the pages. Then I read the one sentence I wish I could unsee. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t erase the words written in Leo’s handwriting scrawled across the page.
"What the fuck!" I shout, jumping away from the paper and shooting to my feet.
My mind whirls while I try to regain control. I knew he was there the night everything happened. He killed three men to rescue her, but what the fucking hell is this about him standing guard? Why in all my conversations with Erica and Leo has this topic never been broached? The only thing I can figure is that they are both hiding from the facts. My blood boils, but I know I have to finish. It’s obvious I’m missing quite a few of the details from that night.
For the next three hours, I read every single letter of the notes he has taken over the almost four years they have been on the run together. I wasn’t prepared for this. Erica’s life hasn’t just been stressful; it’s been damn near unimaginable at points. And now that I know the truth, her undeniable attachment to Leo is disturbing to say the least. However, as I turn page after page, it’s the very last paragraph that renders me completely speechless.
Oh God. What the hell is Leo up to? What drastic measure could he be taking to save her? I remember our conversation when he told me that Wilkes was searching for him and not Erica, and my stomach churns as I fear where he has gone. It never seemed right that Leo would just leave her unless he was planning to give himself up and set her free once and for all. Shit. What the fuck did he do?
I can’t tell Erica about this. She’s already having a tough time with him being gone, but this little hypothesis I have now would destroy her. I quickly decide to give it a week before bringing this up to her. Who knows? I could be completely off the mark here. Leo could come prancing back in with a tan from vacation tomorrow. But I have a sick feeling in my gut that I’m right about this one.
"Erica," I call down the hall when I get out of the shower.
"In here," she says
Before Leo left, I can’t remember her ever going in there, but now, she spends almost every night staring at the monitors. I can’t tell if she’s afraid someone will break in without him or if she’s just waiting for him to come home.
"Beautiful, you have to stop leaving this window open!" I tell her for the third time in three days.
"I need the air. I can’t breathe stuck in this apartment all the time. I need to get out of here, Slate. I haven’t been outside in weeks."
"It’s not safe, Erica. Open the windows on the far side. These connect to the breezeway, and Johnson is going to have a stroke if he finds it open. You want to go out on the balcony?"
"What?" she says, shocked and immediately excited. "Leo was worried they would take pictures of me."
Shit. I didn’t think about that.
"Yeah. He was probably right," I say, feeling like an ass as her face deflates. "Okay, how about this? What if I call the building and privately rent out the roof for the entire night. Johnson could clear it and block it off. I’ll bring up some chairs and we can just lie out under the stars for as long as you want."
Her smile immediately returns, bigger than I’ve seen in days. "Oh God, Slate. That sounds amazing."
"I’ll order some food too. Go get dressed. As soon as the sun goes down, we’ll go up." I pull her in for a kiss, taking full advantage of her sudden good mood.
Three hours later, we lie on a blanket on the building’s empty roof. We brought up chairs but quickly moved to the ground so we could be closer. Our legs are tangled together and she is squeezed tight against my side, using my chest as a pillow.
"Do you think he’s okay?" she asks out of the blue.
I let out a sigh, not sure how to answer. Do I honestly think Leo’s okay? No. But I can’t tell her that. "I don’t know, beautiful. I hope so."
"Me too," she says quietly.
Tonight is the perfect evening, and I’m seeing the first real flashes of Erica in days, but that only furthers my worries.