And the Shofar Blew by Francine Rivers
“I grew up in San Francisco and thought it would be romantic to live on a farm. I didn’t have a clue how much work it would be.”
She had a nice laugh, too. “Do you farm?”
“I have a vegetable garden and a few fruit trees. Enough that I don’t have to buy produce at the grocery store.”
“No animals?”
“No time. I had a dog, but I had to put him down last year. Cancer. I miss Brutus, but I’m not home enough to give an animal the proper amount of attention. My schedule at the hospital keeps me busy.”
Samuel said nothing, but Stephen knew why his old friend had opened the subject of Karen’s dilemma. He might as well get it said, though he expected she would shoot him down. “I hold a Bible study at my house every Wednesday evening. You’re welcome to come. Mix of men and women. Blue-collar and a couple of migrant workers. My daughter. My ex-wife. You never know what someone’s going to say or do.”
“Are you trying to talk me into it or out of it?”
“I’ll engrave you an invitation.”
Karen looked at Samuel. “Is he a good teacher?”
“Yes. And he works at it.”
She gave Stephen a sidelong look. “What can I bring?”
“Your Bible and an open mind.”
Samuel looked pleased. “How did the barbecue go?”
Stephen leaned back in his chair. “Fine, until someone brought up the subject of starting a church.”
Karen’s brows shot up. “You’re going to start a church?”
“Not if I can help it.”
Samuel looked intrigued. “Why not?”
“You want one reason or twenty? The last thing I want to do is get into another church-building project.”
“You can build a church without building a building, you know.”
“A nice little Bible study is all I ever bargained for, Samuel.”
“Well, that’s a pretty pathetic attitude.”
Stephen pulled his sunglasses down and stared at Karen over the rims. “Careful. You aren’t part of the group yet.”
“Too late. Invitation extended and accepted.”
“You might think about holding off on any opinions.”
“And you might try taking your own advice and opening your mind.”
Samuel chuckled. “So, what did you tell them?”
“I didn’t say anything.” Stephen pulled his gaze from Karen. “We prayed about it.”
“And?”
“I’m still praying.” He scratched his head. “The thing is, I had this feeling that I’m supposed to move forward in a backward sort of way.” Samuel and Karen were both looking at him, waiting. “The church started with a hundred and twenty people praying together in an upper room in Jerusalem. Right?”
Samuel nodded. “Yes, but it didn’t stay hidden in an upper room, Stephen.”
Or a basement, he might as well have said.
“Nor did the church stay small,” Karen said. “They were a handful for about forty days, and then Pentecost happened. As soon as the Holy Spirit came upon those few, they rushed out with the Good News and the Lord added another three thousand to the body of Christ.”
“Yeah, but they still met in homes after that.”
Samuel smiled faintly. “They also met in the corridors of the temple.”
“In Solomon’s portico.”
Stephen glowered at Karen. “Maybe you should be teaching.”
She held up her hands. “I thought you said you didn’t bite.”
Disgruntled, Stephen persisted. “The point I’m trying to make is the first order of business in the church wasn’t to go out and put up a building for meetings. It was to win souls, teach, have fellowship, break bread together, and pray. If I’m going to be part of building a church, I’d like to find a way to build a church without walls. Isn’t that what Jesus meant? It’s not the building that matters or the programs or the numbers. It’s not the music or the ritual. It’s about our relationship with Jesus Christ. Believers make up the temple. They are the church. Christ’s resurrection power is revealed through our new lives.”
“Are you planning to keep everyone hostage in your basement?”
Stephen faced Karen. “I can see I’m going to have nothing but trouble with you.”
“No. I’m just asking. I want to know where you stand before I walk in the door. I fled one man’s kingdom. I don’t want to fall down the stairs and into the basement of another.”
He went hot. “Are you comparing me with Paul Hudson?”
“Not unless you think you have all the answers.” She spoke softly, eyes gentle.
He let his breath out slowly. “No, I don’t have all the answers. I just don’t want to make the same mistakes over again. As soon as Centerville Christian decided to build, the focus changed. It was all about bringing in more people so there’d be money to continue the project. It wasn’t a sanctuary anymore. It was a gymnasium. It was about events. It wasn’t about building a relationship with Christ. It was about a head count and the take on Sunday morning. How many times did the Lord have to destroy the temple? And we’re still trying to rebuild it.”
Karen seemed to be considering what he was saying. “Why do you think we do that?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s easier to pour our efforts into building a house for God rather than building a relationship with Him. One requires a few years of hard work, but the other asks for a lifetime of commitment. The problem is, the building becomes the idol we worship. The programs are the sacred cows. Numbers are our means of evaluating our success. And it’s all about vanity. Vanity, vanity. My church is bigger than your church. My pastor draws a bigger crowd on Sunday morning. Hey, haven’t you heard? He’s on television and tapes a radio show that’s on who knows how many stations across the country. And man, now they’re going to have a Bible with his name on it. Can you beat that?”
“He really hurt you, didn’t he?” Karen said quietly, all eyes.
“Who?”
“Paul Hudson.”
“This isn’t about Paul Hudson.”
“Oooo-kay.” She drew out the word quietly and looked at Samuel.
Stephen sighed. Was he holding a grudge? He hoped not. He bore the scars of standing against Paul, but that didn’t mean he was going to buy into his philosophy of what a church was. He didn’t have to know Karen well to see her wheels turning. “You have something to say. Go ahead.”
“Just because Paul Hudson’s motivation was wrong doesn’t mean yours wasn’t right.”
“Oh yeah. I’m such a great guy. Everyone thought I was making a bundle off that project. Lining my pockets with dough.”
“Not everyone.”
Maybe he was falling into hyperbole. He studied her expression. He’d never told anyone how far into the hole he had gone to do what was right, but he had a feeling she knew. He wasn’t about to complain. God had provided work to keep his head above water and his name out of a bankruptcy hearing. “Fact is, my motivation didn’t make any difference to the outcome for the church.”
“Not that we can see with our human eyes,” Samuel said. “But don’t think for a minute God isn’t at work. He has been from the beginning, and He’s not finished.”
“No.” Stephen gave a wry grin. “I think I’m pretty clear about that.” He could feel the Lord chiseling away his armor. It left him feeling vulnerable and uncertain.
Samuel’s look was full of clarity. “Just don’t let what happened in Centerville get in the way of what the Lord may want to happen in Rockville.”
Stephen took a long pull from his glass of tea. “God seems to be getting His way on that score. Eunice told me the property I bought was the same piece donated to the church and that Paul sold for seed money on the new facility.”
Karen tilted her head. “Did you know that before you bought it?”
Did she think he’d done it to take some kind of revenge? The same thought had occurred to Eunice. Stephen shook his head. “No.”
Karen raised her brows. “Not everyone wears their confession on their sleeve.”
He laughed. “I wasn’t waiting for your confession, just a comment.”
“Such as?”
“Such as you’d already heard that I was an alcoholic.” One of the rumors he knew had circulated during the time Paul was pushing him out of the church.
“I don’t listen to gossip and I don’t hang around people who do.”
No wonder Eunice liked this woman.
Samuel cleared his throat, and Stephen realized he’d been studying Karen for longer than was polite. She wasn’t wearing a ring.
She glanced at her wristwatch. “I need to run. I’m on duty tonight.” She shouldered her bag and rose. Samuel leaned on his cane and stood. Stephen shoved his chair back and rose. How long since he had stood for a woman? Karen glanced at him with amusement. Did he look as uncomfortable as he felt? She took Samuel’s hand between hers, thanked him for the pleasant afternoon, and said she’d come back soon. As she turned, she gave him a cordial smile. “It was nice to see you, too, Stephen.”
“Likewise.” He thought it might be nice to get to know her a little better. Maybe take her out for coffee. Or dinner. “I should have your telephone number. In case I have to call off the Bible study at the last minute.” He hoped the excuse didn’t sound as lame to her as it did to him.
“I’m in the book.” She walked away without a backward glance.
It would help if he could remember her last name.
Stephen took his seat when Samuel did. “I think God has wanted a church in Rockville for a long time, Stephen. The fields are ripe and the workers are few.”
“I agree. I’m just not sure I’m the one to do it. I don’t want to go in with the wrong motives.”
“God put you there for a reason.”
“Leading a Bible study is a far cry from pastoring a church.”
“Take it one day at a time. Stay focused on the Word. Get on your knees and pray. Then stand up and do the work God gives you. Don’t try to cross any bridges until you reach them.”
“I have to work for a living.”
Samuel shifted in his chair. His face tightened with pain as he stretched out one leg. “The apostle Paul was a tent-maker.” He eased back into his chair again. “More than half of the people attending your Bible study met you on the job or met someone who works with you. The Lord knows the job is too big to be shouldered by any one man. He equips you so that you can equip others. You don’t have to have a degree in theology or stand in a pulpit to do that.”
Stephen saw the new lines in Samuel’s face. How was it possible for someone to age so much in a few days? They were silent for a long moment. Stephen finished the last of his tea. “Would you like me to walk you back to your apartment before I leave?”
“Sorry. I’m sure poor company today.”
“You’re worrying about something. Should I ask?”
“Better if you don’t.”
“Okay.” Eunice? “Anything I can do?”
“Just what you’re doing. Keep your focus on Jesus. Be obedient to His call on your life. Whatever it is, however difficult it’s going to be.”
Stephen searched his face. The old man was distracted, his mind occupied in some inner battle.
Samuel stared out at the garden. “I think I’ll stay out here awhile longer.”
“Okay.” Stephen rose. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Wait a minute, Stephen.” Samuel felt his shirt pocket. “Do you have a pen handy?”
Stephen handed him his ballpoint.
Samuel took a paper napkin from the dispenser and wrote something on it. He handed the napkin and pen back to Stephen with a smile.
Karen Kessler. And her phone number.
Paul looked for Eunice’s car as he pulled into the visitors’ section of the condominium complex. He was tired from the drive, exhausted from lack of sleep. He’d expected better of Eunice than running off to tell his mother everything. She should’ve stayed home like he told her. They could’ve talked it out and reached an understanding without involving anyone else. No one should be privy to their problems, especially his mother! Eunice had reason to be upset, but that didn’t give her the right to be disloyal. She was a minister’s wife. She should know better than to say anything against him to anyone!
Pulling the key out of the ignition, he shoved the car door open, got out, and slammed it shut. He had a vague memory of his father laying down the law a few times. Maybe that’s what he’d have to do. Be a little less apologetic and a little more firm for the sake of his ministry. There was too much at stake to allow feelings to run rampant.
He found his mother’s condo and rang the bell. He shifted his feet when no one answered right away. He’d told her he was coming. She would’ve told Eunice. Was his wife sulking inside while making him stand on the porch? He jabbed the button again and held his finger on it.
It was his mother who opened the door and stood looking up at him. Her face was splotched and puffy, her eyes red-rimmed from crying.
“Mom, it isn’t as bad as it seems.”
“Isn’t it?”
“What did Eunice say to you?”
“What do you think she said?”
He cursed Eunice for causing his mother such pain. “Where is she? She had no right to come down here and dump our problems on your doorstep. Eunice!”
“She’s gone.”
“What do you mean, she’s gone? Gone where?”
“She said she was going home.”
His temper erupted. “Great! Just great! I wasted the drive down here. What kind of game is she playing with me? What’s she planning to do now? Go back to the church and announce we’re having some problems?”
“Some problems? Is that the way you see adultery?”
He felt the heat rush into his face. “It’s not all my fault, you know. She wouldn’t have walked in on anything if Reka hadn’t set the whole thing up. And I wouldn’t have even looked at Sheila if Eunice had been any kind of wife to me over the past few years. She’s been sulking ever since Tim moved down here with you.”
“So it’s everybody’s fault except yours, is that right? Even I’m to blame.”
“I didn’t say that. That’s not what I meant.”
“You have no excuse, Paul. Not one that will get you out of this mess.”
“Okay.” He held up his hands. “Okay! Could we have this conversation inside so the whole neighborhood doesn’t hear about it?”
She stepped back and stared at him as he walked around her. He flung his windbreaker onto the couch and rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. “If Eunice had bothered to answer her cell phone, I could’ve waited at the house for her.”
“She’s not going to Centerville.”
“You just told me she was going home.” He’d had a long sleepless night and then a long drive on top of it. He was in no mood for double-talk.
“Don’t use that tone with me, Paul Hudson.”
He’d never seen that look on his mother’s face before. As though she hated him. It shook him.
“She said Centerville isn’t her home. And no wonder.”
He could thank Eunice for his mother’s attitude. Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut and their problems private? If she had to tell someone, why couldn’t she have picked someone other than his mother? A good thing Eunice wasn’t in the condo or he’d say things he would regret. As it was, he was going to have to chase after her again. How far this time? How long before she’d sit down and listen to reason? “So where is she going?” He tried to sound patient.
“You tell me, Paul. Where is h
He felt a coldness seep into the pit of his stomach. “She wouldn’t do that. You know Eunice as well as I do, and she wouldn’t even think it.”
“How well do you know me? I thought about suicide the first time your father cheated on me.”
First time? He rocked back. “What are you talking about?”
She shook her head. “He never had much time for you, did he, Paul? Or for me. But he had plenty of time for others.”
He swallowed hard. What was she saying?
She wept bitterly. “Eunice was right. I have been wrong. All these years, I’ve been so wrong.”
“Mom.” He’d seen her cry, but not like this. “Mom.” He took her shoulders, but she jerked free.
“I should’ve talked to you about all this long ago. I should’ve warned you when I saw what was happening. I could see you changing. I could see the way your ambition played you like a fiddle. But I hoped you’d remember what I taught you. I hoped I wouldn’t have to spell it all out for you.” She sat in the wing chair and blew her nose. “You’d better sit. I’m going to tell you the truth about your father now, whether you want to hear it or not.”
He slowly sat, tense, stomach churning.
“From the time you were a little boy, I’ve tried to protect you. And myself.” She glared at him. “I can’t tell you how much it hurts to live with a man who cheats and lies and thinks he has a right to live however he pleases without answering to anyone, even God. I prayed for him. Oh, how I prayed for him. Year after year. Even after he’d destroyed every bit of love between us, I prayed for his salvation.”
“Salvation? If anyone was saved, Dad was.”
“I’d like to believe that. I really would like to believe God reached him. But I don’t think so. I never saw evidence in his life that he was really a Christian.”
He couldn’t believe she would say such a thing about one of the best-known evangelists in the country. “He brought thousands to Christ, Mother. He had a congregation of thousands. He had a television show and a radio ministry. He wrote a best-selling book!”