Bayside Desires (Bayside Summers Book 1) by Melissa Foster
“I can say ‘badass,’ but I can’t go crotchless at a bonfire,” Mira said. “My son, Hagen, will be with me.”
“Is he looking up your shorts?” Violet asked.
“Well, no, but still…” Mira’s voice trailed off.
“Mira!” Serena waggled her brows. “Think of the payoff afterward. I want to do it, and I don’t even have a man!”
Desiree was imagining all the ways she could taunt Rick. He’d lose his flipping mind! But she wasn’t going to bet on their sex life. Instead, she decided to turn it around on Violet. “I don’t need a dare.”
Violet’s eyes widened in surprise.
“I’m going to do it anyway, but I’m not telling you when,” Desiree added. “That’s private. But…since I’m going to do it anyway, you have to stick to a schedule for a week. Seven solid days of showing up on time to a fair and equitable work schedule.”
Violet rolled her eyes.
“What’s the matter?” Desiree taunted. “Not badass enough to handle it?”
RICK PUSHED TO his feet, wiped the sweat from his brow, and gazed down at the beach, where Matt and Hagen were busy creating another elaborate sandcastle. Matt had been a professor at Princeton before getting a major publishing contract and falling in love with Mira. He’d chosen to write full-time and remain at the Cape, rather than going back to teaching. Every time Rick saw how happy their family was, he thought about how much his father had missed out on. But today he turned those thoughts on himself. He’d spent more than an hour on the phone with his partners earlier. The battle between them had become so contentious, Rick found himself wondering why he was fighting so hard to go back. He’d invested well, and had more than enough money to live on. But he’d built his business from the ground up, and walking away would mean leaving a piece of himself behind. A big piece. The successful, prove-he-could-do-it-for-his-father piece.
“What do you think?” Drake called out to him.
It took a moment for Rick to realize Drake was talking about the patio they’d been working on for the past two days. His eyes swept over the earth-toned stones covering the width of the recreation building and spilling out in a wavy pattern toward the beach with a built-in fire pit on the far right. He imagined playing his guitar and sitting by the fire with Desiree on a cold winter night. Maybe they could swing up for the holidays together.
“We did a hell of a job,” he answered.
“Dad would have loved this.” Drake pointed to the fire pit. “Can’t you see him sitting over there with one arm around Mom, telling some story about his days as a fighter pilot?”
Rick laughed, remembering his father’s penchant for embellishing. “The man could lie like a rug.”
Drake motioned in the direction of Matt and Hagen. “I’m glad Hagen’s got Matt. Mira’s a hell of a mother, but there’s a difference between a father and mother, and their relationship with sons.”
“Single parents bring up kids all the time. Look at us.”
“We were teenagers when we lost Dad. That’s different. Do you think Mom would have laughed at us burping the alphabet? Or thought it was ‘epic’ when we rode our dirt bikes into that mucky marsh? Remember? She made us hose off outside and yelled at Dad for taking us to a diner when we were so dirty.”
Rick smiled with the memory. “Man, we were lucky to have him.”
“Yeah. They say women are the ones with the ticking clock, but how can you be around Hagen and not think about it?” Drake wiped his hands on his shorts and pushed the plate compactor to the edge of the patio. “Maybe it’s easier for you, since you’re not usually around him so much.”
“Maybe that’s why I never really thought about it until recently.”
“Makes sense,” Drake said. “Wait. You’re thinking about it now?”
Rick shrugged. “Not in an I-want-kids-now way, but just in general.”
“I think Desiree kick-started your heart again. About damn time, if you ask me.”
“She wants to go sailing.” The confession surprised him as much as it appeared to have surprised Drake. “I can’t look at her without wanting to try to get on that damn boat.”
“I’m sure she’ll understand if you explain…”
“I did, and she does.” He forced himself to ask the question he’d been carrying with him since he’d told Desiree about his father. “Why didn’t we ever talk about that night?”
“I talked about it all the time,” Drake said, meeting his gaze. “With Mom, with the grief counselor.”
Blood pounded in Rick’s ears as he opened a door he’d all but nailed shut. “I mean us, Drake. Why didn’t we ever talk about it?”
“You didn’t exactly want to talk back then.” There was a hint of defensiveness in his brother’s tone, and more than a hint in his eyes. “And you’ve clammed up ever since.”
“Don’t you find that messed up?” It came out as an accusation, and he hated himself for it, because it wasn’t Drake’s fault. “We were the ones on the deck. We were the ones who couldn’t save him.” His voice escalated, and he ground his teeth, regaining control, a silent war raging between him and his demons. “Us, Drake. Not the fucking grief counselor. Not Mom or anyone else. We were in it together that night.”
“We still are,” Drake said evenly. “It’s on our shoulders, and it always will be. We. Couldn’t. Save. Him.”
Pain gripped Rick so hard he couldn’t move.
“Don’t do this again, Rick,” Drake seethed. “You’ve pulled away for seventeen years. I’m right here, and I’m ready to talk. Do you blame yourself? Is that what’s kept you away? Because no one blames you.”
Anger clawed up his torso, tightening like a noose around his neck. “No. And I don’t blame you, either.”
“Then what is it?” Drake pleaded.
“I don’t know.” Rick paced, hands fisted at his sides. “I know we couldn’t save him. I thought I dealt with all this shit. I can go on the water, in the water, over the goddamn water. But I get near a sailboat and I’m mind fucked. Like I’ve never put it behind me.”
The pain in Drake’s eyes was palpable. “Because you didn’t. Mira and I pushed through it when Mom made us. We went out on that damn boat and cried, and cursed, and fought, until there was nothing left to be angry at. We let him go, Rick, but you refused. Don’t you remember fighting with me when I tried to drag your ornery ass down to the boat a few weeks after the accident? You gave me a goddamn shiner.” He laughed under his breath. “I had to tell everyone I beat some kid up just to save face from admitting my younger brother clocked me.”
We fought? Rick didn’t know if he should laugh or worry over having no memory of the incident. “I don’t remember that.”
“No?”
Rick shook his head.
“Damn. I knew a part of you had disappeared after we lost Dad, but I didn’t realize you’d lost that part of yourself, too.” Drake’s voice turned thoughtful. “We were all in shock, but you buried your feelings so deep you were untouchable. As a teenager, you hid behind music, and sports, and never slowed down enough to think, much less feel. And as an adult…Bro, you know why you work eighty hours a week, hundreds of miles away from us. But since you’ve been back, there’s been no place for you to hide.”
“Tell me about it. I see him in everything. In you and Mira. Even Hagen,” Rick admitted. “Sometimes it’s too much.”
“That’s a shame. I see Dad everywhere, too. But I’m glad for it, because not a day goes by that I don’t miss him. Getting a glimpse of him is a relief. A momentary gift.”
“I want to feel that so bad, Drake. You have no idea. I think about that night all the time.”
“I can only imagine,” Drake said. “But how can you see the light if you don’t get rid of the darkness? That night’s still eating away at you. I think about that hellacious night, and I want to punch something, or take revenge on the sea. But—”
“There’s no revenge for a prickly beast.” Rick rubbed the kno
“I didn’t plan on working eighty hours a week.” He needed Drake to know the truth. “I wanted to make him proud, and I couldn’t pull my shit together here. Then things got away from me. Working became a way of life.”
Drake raked a hand through his hair with a tortured expression. “I get it. But you’re here now, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back here for good.”
Rick knew what he had to do. “Can you handle the patio?”
He took a step away and Drake grabbed his arm. “Fuck the patio.” He hauled him into an embrace. “Love you, bro.”
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, Rick walked along the moorings as if he were walking the plank. The darkening sky mirrored his emotions as each heavy footstep brought him closer to the ghosts of his past. His heart beat violently against his ribs as he passed one, two, three boats, stopping at the fourth. His eyes remained trained on the wood beneath his feet, refusing to rise. Inhaling a lungful of brisk air, he forced his gaze upward. The dark cabin windows stared back at him like snake eyes.
They say the faces of those you’ve lost fade from memory. But even now, seventeen years later, Rick could picture his father’s smiling eyes, his unruly dark hair bending at the wind’s will, and his thick arms, defined by hard work and the relentless pursuit of living life to the fullest, as he reached over the edge of the boat.
Give me your hand, Ricky boy. I’ll haul ya up.
Rick crossed his arms, a barrier between him and his father’s ghost.
Afraid? What’s the worst that can happen? You slip and fall in the water? Big deal. So, you swim, son. That’s why you have limbs.
He smiled, despite his heartache. His father had always been infuriatingly positive. Getting on the boat should be a piece of cake, but tears burned his eyes, and the longing in his chest felt like a never-ending abyss he wouldn’t be able to climb out of once he fell in.
Stepping on that boat meant…finally accepting his dad was gone?
He’d thought he’d done that the god-awful night they’d lost him. But if that wasn’t the issue, what was? If I knew the answer, I’d get my ass on the damn boat.
Holding his breath, he reached for the bow with shaking fists. Unfurling them was like bending iron. Closing his eyes, he touched his fingertips to the cool, sleek fiberglass, gritted his teeth, and pressed his palms flat.
See? Stable as the day is long.
His father’s voice drew his eyes open, and his gaze swept over the cabin. Flashes of that awful night barreled into him, and he slammed his eyes shut again, willing himself to remain standing and accept the torture once and for all. He was done hiding, done running. His entire body battled him, from the bones in his feet trying to carry him away to the very tips of his fingers struggling to let go. But he stood strong as the howling winds and sheeting rain of seventeen years ago pummeled him anew. The erratic sounds of the choppy sea roared in his ears. The deluge of waves pounded over the deck, and the screeching of the boat’s hardware sliced him open. The dense whoosh of the boom and the deadly thud sent him stumbling backward, as if he himself had been carried into the sea. He dropped to his knees, tears spilling down his cheeks. His shoulders slumped, and his head fell heavily into his hands, but he didn’t run. He didn’t fight the fear or the gut-wrenching agony as the memory of Drake holding him back from launching himself into the black water pinned him to the ground.
I’m getting on that fucking boat.
He forced his eyes open, and a hand shot down and grabbed his arm, hauling him to his feet. It took Rick a second to push out of the past and into the present, where Drake stood sure and steady before him.
“What are you doing here?” Rick’s voice was thick with emotion.
“Whatever it takes.”
Rick didn’t hesitate, didn’t give the past time to hold him back from his future. With Drake by his side, he climbed onto the boat, determined to be the man his father had raised him to be, and the man Desiree deserved.
Chapter Fourteen
DESIREE LAY AWAKE watching the sun sneak through the new coral curtains, thinking about how much had changed since she’d arrived. How much she’d changed. With Violet in her life, her days were anything but structured. Her sister really did stink at keeping to a schedule, but Desiree was coming to accept that Violet wasn’t being volitionally rebellious. It was just the way she was wired.
She rolled onto her side, careful not to wake Cosmos, who was lying on the foot of the bed, and ran her finger along Rick’s strong, scruffy jaw. She’d never been the type of person to stay overnight with a boyfriend, because she had a busy schedule and liked to stick to it. During the summers, she usually tried to make it to Emery’s early riser’s yoga class a few days each week, and during the school year she liked to go over her lesson plans for each day before class. Getting off schedule at home would leave her feeling restless, but here, between the shop, getting to know Violet, caring for Cosmos, and her favorite thing of all, spending time with Rick, she barely had time to slow down and worry about anything. Or rather, worry about things like schedules. She had plenty of other worries, like had they chosen the right appliances and paint colors for the kitchen, and would the flower boxes keep Cosmos from escaping? Luckily, paying her mother’s mortgage wasn’t one of them. The sales from the shop were taking care of that. She’d even dropped the mortgage payment into the mail early.
She pressed a kiss to Rick’s lips, acknowledging her biggest worry of all. How could she ever go back to being the person she had been, when he’d become such a big part of who she was now?
Cosmos creeped along the bed on Rick’s other side and smothered his chin in kisses. Rick’s lips curved up, and he tugged Desiree against his deliciously hard, naked body. Cosmos hopped off the bed with a whimper. The pup should be used to them by now. They could hardly keep their hands off each other, and still, every time they reached for each other in the morning, Cosmos whimpered. She wondered if her mother would notice or care if she took Cosmos back to Virginia with her.
The thought of leaving brought a pang of longing.
Rick rolled over, trapping her beneath him. “Morning gorgeous.”
He lowered his mouth to her neck and began killing her brain cells one kiss at a time. He slithered down her body, teasing her breasts the way he knew drove her mad. This was so much better than yoga and lesson plans.
“In a world with billions of people,” he said between slicks of his tongue over the sensitive peaks, “how did I get lucky enough to find you?”
He sucked her breast into his mouth, and she struggled to hold on to her ability to speak. “You…stalked me.”
His laughter vibrated through his mouth, and he kissed a path south. Every touch of his lips sent heat to the juncture of her thighs. When he reached the Promised Land, she held her breath, anxious for more.
He dragged his tongue along her inner thigh. Sweet baby Jesus.
“And I’d do it again,” he said, moving to her other thigh. “Tell me you’ll still see me when we leave here.”
She closed her eyes, going for humor instead of reality. “All the way to the front door, until you leave for your morning run.”
He sank his teeth into her inner thigh.
“Ouch!” He hadn’t bitten hard, but he’d surprised her.
He crawled up her body, pinning her beneath him again, his eyes dark and serious. “When you go back to Virginia, and I’m in DC.”
“Oh,” she said innocently, rubbing against his erection. “I don’t want to think about that right now.”
“Aren’t you the one who likes schedules and plans?”
“Mm-hm.” Her knees fell open wider, and she pressed down on the back of his hips.
“Damn, baby.” He aligned their bodies and pushed the broad head
“Sexual torture?” She wiggled her hips, and the head of his cock touched an incredibly sensitive spot. “Rick,” she whispered.
His powerful body was unyielding to her efforts as she shifted, trying to force him in deeper.
“Tell me you’ll still be mine.”
She stopped moving, her insides melting at the passion in his voice. “I want to see you, but can we not talk about it? It makes me sad to think about being apart. I know you work all the time when you’re in DC, and you won’t have much time for me, so I’d rather not talk about it right now.”
Sadness replaced the determination in his gaze. “Sweetheart, I looked at a map and Oak Falls is just under two hours from DC. We’ll make it work.”
He’d looked at a map? He’d thought that far ahead?
He kissed her then, a long, languid kiss that turned her worries to dust. And then he loved her from the inside out, filling her so completely there was no room for doubt.
An hour later, showered and dressed, Desiree and Rick took Cosmos for a walk. When they got back to the house, Zander and Zeke were upstairs painting the hallway on the second floor. Desiree had been enjoying making elaborate breakfasts for Rick and Violet, and the last few mornings, she’d made enough for Zeke and Zander, too. Rob was in and out, but he’d made it over for eggs Benedict two days ago.
She pulled out the ingredients for Belgian waffles with blueberries and cream, while Rick did his best to distract her. He was dressed for his run, which meant he was gloriously naked, save for a pair of shorts and running shoes. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, nibbling on her neck and rubbing his body against her.
“Drake will kill you if you’re late again.” She leaned her head to the side, allowing him better access to devour her.
“Like I care?” He turned her in his arms and brushed her hair from her shoulder, placing several openmouthed kisses there.
She hooked her finger into the waist of his shorts. “All it takes is a few kisses and I’m hot and bothered again. I think you’ve turned me into a nymphomaniac.”