Boarded by Love by Toni Aleo
“It will be fun,” I promise, and she looks back at me.
“Yeah, I know. I’m just freaking out over this crap,” she admits, giving me a sad smile as she points to her books and endless notes.
“I know. If you don’t want to do it, I understand. You have a lot going on.”
“Yeah, but I need a distraction when I’m not working on this shit. It will be good for me.”
I smile, wrapping my arms around her. She has always been my friend, a real friend. Everyone hated me when Phillip started me at the school in his district. I was the new “rich” girl with a hotshot, hockey player uncle. I was kind of a standoffish bitch too, so that had a lot to do with why people didn’t like me. Plus my hair was bright red, and people assumed I was an easy, emo chick. I wasn’t emo for one, and maybe I might have been easy in the past, but once Phillip gave me stability, I was a completely different girl. I wanted things. I wanted to make him proud, I wanted him to love me, but he did no matter what I did, and I’m so thankful for that.
“You know that the hockey team is at the tryouts, right? And they judge the girls.”
“Huh?” I ask, leaning up to look at her.
“Oh yeah, they have little paddles with numbers, and the captains take their opinions into consideration. It’s kinda stupid ’cause the guys only judge you on your looks.”
I smile. “We’re in then. We’re fucking hot.”
She laughs like I wanted as I crawl out of my spot and go to my side of the room. Pictures of Phillip, Reese, and me are everywhere, along with pictures of Skylar and me. While I love my pictures, my favorite ones are the ones of the kids. I love my Dimitri and then Reese’s sister Harper’s kids, Ally and Journey. I spend so much time with them that they are almost like my sister and brothers. I even have pictures of my extended family, which is all of Phillip’s teammates and their families. As I glance at all of them, like I always do, I can’t help but think how I went from having no one to love me to now having so many that I am sometimes overwhelmed with love.
With a smile on my face, I reach for the pink flyers that Ellen was posting everywhere and chuck them in the trash as my smile grows.
Jude Sinclair.
Hmm. He was something, that’s for sure, and I can’t help but think of him. I told him that I’d probably never see him again, but I wish I could see him right now. I should have given him my number; I should have let him pursue me, instead of running the other way. I usually don’t regret blowing guys off, but I am regretting it like crazy right now.
Glancing over at Skylar, I say, “Hey, do you know Jude Sinclair?”
Her head shoots up, and she gives me a Cheshire-cat smile, all her straight, white teeth showing as she slowly nods her head. “Everyone knows Jude Sinclair, Claire.”
I give her a deadpan look. “Well, I didn’t, until today.”
“Did you sleep with him?” she demands, her eyes wide.
I laugh. “Jeez, Skylar, really? I wouldn’t even sleep with Allen, which reminds me, he gave Ellen crabs. They were fucking. But anyway, you think I’m gonna sleep with some guy I just met? I’m not a slut, thank you!”
She makes a face. “Ew, he gave her crabs? While messing with you?”
“We weren’t messing, just talking.”
“Yeah, but still that’s icky. You should kick his ass.”
I shrug. “I guess if I cared, I would.”
“True, ’cause if you’d cared you wouldn’t be asking about the sex-on-legs Jude Sinclair,” she says, waggling her eyebrows at me.
I laugh as I nod. “Yeah, you’re right. He is really sexy.”
“Oh, girl. I saw him go through his initiation last year at the frat, and let me say, it was mighty hard for him to keep his goodies in the boy shorts he was wearing. Not to leave out that the man is ripped, I think his abs have abs, but he’s also covered in tattoos.” She lets out a dreamy sigh. “He is… God, he is so fucking hot.”
I snort with laughter as I fall back on my bed. My body is automatically hot at just the image that is running through my mind. “Yeah, I saw him fully clothed, and it took everything out of me to look the other way.”
“Yeah, he has that effect on women.”
“So he says,” I add and she laughs.
“Oh yeah, he’s cocky as hell too, but that comes with being the best player on the Bullies team.”
I come up on my elbows, looking over at her. “He’s a hockey player?”
She nods, a lusty look coming over her face as her eyes darken in color. “Oh yes… He knows exactly how to handle his stick. Great hands. Wonderful hand-eye coordination.”
I can’t believe how hard I’m laughing, and soon she’s laughing with me. Rolling onto my side, I shake my head at her mischievous smile and ask, “Is he seeing someone?”
Her lips curve even more as she shakes her head. “No, Jude doesn’t date or see anyone. He sleeps with girls and lets them go.”
My smile falls. “You haven’t slept with him, have you?”
“In my dreams, yes, over and over again, but no, I haven’t had the pleasure. He says I’m too nice – I think he’s scared of my thighs.”
Skylar does have some monstrous thighs, but it’s muscle; she likes to ride bikes and dances, too. She’s superfit and most guys are scared of her, which is stupid, in my opinion. I laugh as relief floods through me. Thank God, she didn’t sleep with him. Girl code and all, I wouldn’t try, but now that she hasn’t touched him, I might consider it. Oh hell, who am I kidding? There was nothing to consider.
I want him.
“So he’ll be there Tuesday?”
She nods as she marks in an answer on the paper she has in front of her. “He’s the captain, of course he will be. His opinion matters a lot. He slept with Rachael at one point, and she does everything to make him happy in the hopes he’ll come back. Which he won’t.”
“Interesting.”
“That’s for sure, but what’s more interesting is that look in your eye. I usually only see it when you’re determined to get a dance done. Never saw it concerning a guy.”
I roll my eyes before lying on my stomach to place my head on the pillow. “It’s nothing.”
“Sure, it is,” she says back with a grin. “Something big, and I can’t wait to see what happens. Jude won’t know what hit him when you come strolling into his life.”
“Oh, hush,” I say, but then we start laughing like banshees because we both know she’s right.
The feeling that comes over me is somewhere between thrill and fear, but I like it.
Chapter 6
Jude.
I’m not looking forward to this dinner at all.
Jayden drives us out to our family’s home on the outskirts of Nashville. Dad wanted something secluded but also close enough to the city, and he got that in our huge country-style house. Growing up here was good, being only years apart, I grew up with two best friends instead of brothers. Yeah, we fought, and I’m pretty sure Jayden almost killed me once, but they are the two I would do anything for, after kicking their asses, of course. When we weren’t rough, tough hockey players, we were soldiers, hunters, and ninjas getting lost in the nature that surrounded our house. There wasn’t a time when my mom wasn’t hollering for us and when we weren’t constantly ganging up on Lucy. It was a great childhood, one with a great mom but an absent father.
Turning onto the driveway that leads us through the forest to our home, I pull out my phone to check my Facebook before I won’t be able to. My mom has a basket by the door where our phones and keys go. All the people we care about are in one room, why do we need a phone, she always says. Pulling up my search bar, I type Claire’s name and smile when her profile comes up. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this since seeing her yesterday, and I can’t help but feel the desire to look through her pictures. To know her. She has her stuff on private, so I’m only able to see tagged pictures and her profile pictures.
There are tons of pictures of her with
When we finally reach the house, I turn off my phone and tuck it in my pocket, hopping out of the car just as Angie comes wobbling toward the car from my sister’s arms. She’s littler than most kids and just started walking a few weeks ago. Her brown hair is in spurts all over her sweet head. Her green eyes are shiny and wide as she screeches when she reaches me. She looks just like Lucy, which is good. We don’t want anything reminding us of that jerk-off, Rick.
“Angie!” I exclaim, picking her up and kissing her face as loudly as I can. Her giggles envelop me, instantly making me excited to be here. Kissing me on my face, she hugs me tightly, her little head tucked under my chin, tickling my neck. I kiss her head, squeezing her tightly before Jayden takes her from me and she screeches for him. A grin sits on my lips because I know that kid is loved more than ever, and that will never stop.
When my sister’s arms come around my waist, I hug her tight. She’s my height, her brown hair long, reaching the middle of her back. She looks just like me; we all look like my mom with only my dad’s green eyes. But her face is softer than the sharp angles that I have. Her eyes are also slanted a tad like my mom’s, while my brothers’ and mine are wide. When she looks up at me, I can tell she’s struggling. We’re two years apart, and before Jayden came, we were superclose. We still are but not nearly the way I would like us to be. She pulled away once she met Rick. Rick changed her. Fucking jerk.
“Hey, how are you?” I ask and she shrugs.
“All right, working and just trying to make it, I guess. I told Mom I want to get my own place, but she’s dead set on me and Angie living here for the rest of our lives.”
I smile. “It’s what’s best, especially with her babysitting and everything. Gives you time to save money.”
“I know,” she says but then her shoulders fall in such a defeated way that I want to do everything to make it better. I just don’t know how. “I just hate that it’s been over a year and I’m still heartbroken, you know? Like, he’s already moved on, Jude. Getting married again, and it kills me because I’m living with my parents with our daughter, just trying to get by.”
“It takes time,” I stress. “You’ll be fine. Maybe when I move, you can come out with me. Start a new life in wherever the hell I go. LA, New York? The possibilities are endless.”
She laughs as she hugs me tight. “You don’t want you older sister crowding your bachelor pad and you know it.”
I smile. “Maybe not, but if it made you and Angie happy, I’d do it.”
Her eyes lock with mine and she cups my cheek. “I know you would, but I’d never ask you to.”
We share a long look, and I can’t help how my chest aches for her. She used to be so happy, thought Rick was the only man to make her happy, and then it just went to shit. No one wants to watch anyone they love go through pain, and it honestly kills a piece of you when you have to.
“My boys are home!”
I look up to see my mom coming down the stairs, her grin unstoppable as she pulls me from Lucy’s embrace into her own. Her brown hair falls in curls over her shoulders while her hazel eyes shine with love for me. My mom has always been a tad bit overweight, and while some people would frown on it, I love it. Her arms always feel warm and like home. I completely relax as I hug her tight. She kisses my temple before wrapping me tighter in her arms and whispering, “I’ve miss you, my Jude. I love you so much, honey. You’re my favorite, you know.”
She says that to all of us. One time I asked how all of us are her favorite, and she went into these elaborate reasons why. I was her favorite because I’m considerate and loving. Lucy is her favorite because of her quick mind and sweet heart. Jayden, because he always has a smile on his face, always waiting for a challenge, and then Jace is her favorite because he’s the baby, and she can still snuggle him without his trying to get away. There has never been a moment that I didn’t know my mom loves me. She went out of her way to guarantee to each of us that we were special. I smile against her neck as I squeeze her, picking her up off the ground, which causes her to squeal. We all laugh as I place her on her feet, kissing her on her cheek. “I love you too, Mom.”
Pulling back from me, she cups my face before asking, “Please tell me you’ve found a girlfriend?”
I laugh as I shake my head, ignoring the fact that Claire comes to mind. “Too many girls, too little time, Mom.”
She shakes her head before letting me go, shooting me a disgusted look before she reaches for Jayden, hugging him just as tightly. When someone jumps on my back, I hold their weight and smile when Jace’s arm comes around my neck, choking me.
“Hey, bro,” he says, squeezing my neck harder. I grab him by the back of his head and flip him off me, causing him to land hard on his back. He looks up at me with a glare, his green eyes flashing with anger, ready for a fight, but before I can kick him in the side or drop an elbow in his gut, playfully, of course… Okay, not really, but still, my mom is yelling at me.
“Jude Marshall Sinclair! Be care! He’s fragile!” Mom scolds me as I reach out to help Jace.
He shoots me a grin before nodding his head as he stands. He’s taller than me but lean like I am. Everyone says we could pass for twins except I’m covered in tattoos while his little girl skin is bare. Come to think of it, I’m the only one with tattoos. My siblings are sissies.
“Yeah, Jude, I could break,” he says, batting his eyelashes at me before leaning against my mom for protection.
“Oh no, then you won’t go into the draft, freaking girl.”
He glares as I smile, wrapping my arm around his neck and hugging him close to my chest. I haven’t seen him since I started school, and I’ve missed the little jerk.
“You heard I won’t be going in for another year, right?”
“Yup, I guess I’ll have to play for all three of us since Jayden probably won’t go till next year.”
“You think they’ll draft both of us?” Jace asks and I shrug.
“Sure, why not? We’re the best.”
“Ralph wants me to go to Wisconsin,” he says. I drop my phone into the basket as he does the same. Ralph is our agent and a longtime family friend.
“What do you want to do?”
“I guess go to Bellevue. I don’t want to leave yet, but I want to be noticed.”
I nod. “I get that, but remember I have four teams looking at me, and I go to Bellevue. We’re gonna kick ass this year.”
“Hell, yeah, we are,” Jayden adds as he carries Angie on his shoulders toward the living room.
“You gotta do what you feel is right, Jace,” I say, cupping his shoulder before turning just in time to see my dad standing up from his chair. He’s around my height, but he’s thick like Jayden. His dark black hair is cut short, his green eyes hard as emeralds. His mouth is in a straight line, and he doesn’t look too pleased to see me, really. It’s crazy because when I was outside, I was relaxed and free, but under my dad’s gaze, I feel panicky, like I need to run back out. This is how it’s always been. My whole life.
“He should go straight into the draft. No need to wait,” he says, passing by me with no greeting at all. “You all should. You obviously haven’t been working hard enough.”
“You’re completely right, Dad,” I say, and my mom sends me a look as Lucy shakes her head. “I obviously don’t have a full ride to college or am the captain of a team when I’m only a sophomore or have the respect of my whole team. And Jayden must not push himself to the point of exhaustion every day and must not play rather than study, but he does both. Poor Jace obviously isn’t the leading scorer in the high school league for the whole damn United States. Nope, that’s not us. Must be some other Sinclair kids.”
Dad glares back at me and places his hands on his hips. “Must be.”
“Fucking jerk,” Jace whispers and I nod in agreement.
“Did you come all this way to ruin the dinner your mother cooked?” he asks me and I shake my head.
“No, I came here to spend time with my family, but of course, you’re here and have to make everything tense and forced.”
“I can leave if you’d like, you know. We all have to make Jude happy.”
“Dad, Jude, please,” Lucy says, cuddling Angie in her arms. “Don’t fight.”
I set my father with a look as he slowly nods. “No fighting, sweetie. He knows he hasn’t worked hard. That’s why he’s so defensive.”
Before I can say anything else, Jace cups my shoulder, shaking his head as my mom says, “Okay, let’s eat! I know y’all gotta head back early for classes.”
I want to say more, but with one look in my mom’s eyes, I know this isn’t the time. I should have ignored his words, but like always, I let him get to me. I really don’t understand it. Why do I care? He doesn’t give two shits about me. I could be in the NHL, the leading scorer, and he will find something to bitch about. He will find something that I’m doing wrong, or that he thinks I’m doing wrong, and ride my ass about it. I know my mom loves me and is proud of me, along with my siblings, so really, I don’t need anything else. Or at least, I try to say I don’t. The truth is that I crave his attention, his love, and most of all, I want him to be proud of me. Crazy, I know. No one should have to fight for the love of their father, but, unfortunately, it happens every day.