Call Me Crazy by Quinn Loftis
“Trey, exactly.” Natalie’s voice comes from my right, “You’re Tally’s Trey.”
My head whips around and my eyes land on her. She takes a step back and Bobby moves closer, almost in front of her, as if she needed protection from me.
“You know Tally?” I knew the answer had to be yes since she had obviously been trying to get into the locker.
She nods and her eyes are wide as she stares up at me.
“Would someone please tell me what is going on?” Bobby asks.
“Tally met Trey over the summer, and they… she… he…,” She can’t seem to get her thoughts together and her words are a mess.
“Tally’s my girl,” I tell them using the words Scott had used to refer to his girlfriend.
A smile spreads across Nat’s face. “Yeah, exactly, Tally’s his girl.” She lets out a breath, “You have no stinking idea how glad I am to see you. And damn, you are one big dude.”
Bobby glances at her and frowns. Nat blushes under his stare and shrugs, “I’m just pointing out a fact.” She shakes her head in agitation, “The point is, that Tally needs you. She won’t admit it because she’s as stubborn as a bloody mule.”
“Where is she?” I ask impatiently.
“She left, she went home, wait, no, that isn’t right,” Nat rubs her hands up and down her legs and Bobby wraps an arm around her waist pulling her close. She leans into him and finally seems to pull herself together, “Sorry, just a tad pissed. She said she was going to see Candy.” I could tell that she hoped that I knew what that meant because she obviously didn’t want to mention Mercy.
I started to turn to go, but I felt a hand on my arm. I glared down at the hand and then up at its owner. Nat pulled it away quickly, “Do you really think it’s a good idea for you to go see her like this?”
I knew she was referring to my anger, but there wasn’t anything on earth or anywhere else for that matter that was going to keep me from finding Tally.
Nat must have seen that in my eyes because she held her hands up, “Okay, I get it. But if you hurt her I swear I will, I will,” she growls and narrows her eyes at me, “I don’t really know what I will do just yet but believe me it will be utterly horrific.”
I don’t have anything to say in that moment because frankly, if I hurt Tally I would want Nat to do something utterly horrific to me.
~
My foot presses heavy on the gas petal and I have to force myself to slow down. I know it would only slow me down if I get pulled over and make it that much longer before I see Tally. My wheels screech loudly as I turn into the parking lot and whip into a space. My truck is barely in park as I open the door and slide out. I take a few good deep breaths as I try to calm down. I don’t want to scare her, but I can’t stop and get myself fully under control. I won’t be fully under control until I see her, see that she is alright.
I don’t give Mildred a first glance, let alone a hello as I stride past her. The first place I check is Candy’s room. It’s empty. I go to the rec room next. I notice that my mother isn’t there and neither is Candy or Tally. I’m heading towards the only other place I know to look when I hear Zeke’s deep voice.
“She’s walking out now.” I turn and look at him. He points to the front, where I had been only minutes ago. I must have literally just missed her. Zeke points to the back door. “Go out and around, you can head her off.”
“Thanks,” I give him quick nod.
“Take care of our girl,” Zeke tells me.
I bite my tongue from saying you mean my girl because I know he means well and he cares about Tally.
I see her just as I round the building. She’s walking up to a white BMW.
“Tally!” I yell across the lawn.
Her head snaps around and her eyes widen. I can tell she was definitely not expecting to see me. She’s backing up and I know that she is considering bolting.
“Don’t,” I say a little more sharply than I intend.
She stands still and watches me cautiously as I continue towards her. As soon as I’m within reaching distance, I pull her to me and wrap her in my arms. I’ve never taken this liberty; I’ve never really touched her because she always seemed so frightened. In that moment I don’t care, I just need to hold her. I need to feel her against me. She is stiff and doesn’t return the hug, but I hold on. She must realize that I’m not letting go anytime soon because she finally relaxes against me, wrapping her arms around me. I close my eyes as I feel her arms tighten and I can’t help but wonder when the last time was that she had been held. I lean down and press my mouth to her ear. “We need to talk.”
She shakes her head and tries to pull away. “No, Tally, I’m not letting go. We are going to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” her words are muffled because her face is pressed into my chest.
“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say something that ridiculous. You’re going to get in my truck and talk to me.”
She pushes against my chest until she can look up at me. I see her tear streaked face and my heart clenches painfully.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Trey. There is nothing to talk about. I’m going home and Nat’s going to bring me my assignments and then I will sleep, get up, go to school, and do it all over again the next day.” She’s shaking as she talks and I can’t help but run my hands up and down her covered arms, hoping to comfort her.
“I’m sorry, but that’s not acceptable to me. I’ve spent the last week and a half in hell wondering if you were okay, wondering if I would see you again. Did any of that time together mean anything to you? Did you care about me at all?”
I see the battle waging in her eyes as she struggles with what to tell me. Her lips tighten and her forehead wrinkles.
“Don’t you dare lie to me.”
“Uhh!” She groans, “Why the hell are you so bossy? Can’t you just let it go?”
“No. Just talk to me, Tally. What is the harm in that? Can’t you at least answer the questions?”
She looks down at her feet and I stop myself from reaching out and lifting her face to look at me. I’ve missed her so much. I just want to see her face, but I’ve already pushed and maybe too far. I need to calm down.
“Yes,” she finally whispers.
“Yes, what?” I ask trying to soften my tone.
“Yes, it means something to me. Yes, I care about you.” She looks up at me and takes another step back. “But it doesn’t matter. We can’t be together, if that’s even what you’re saying you want.”
I can’t believe she even has to wonder what I want. Haven’t I made it blaringly obvious?
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter and we can’t be together?” I glance around her to the BMW behind her and then back at her. I realize that she must come from money. How else would she be driving a brand freaking new Beamer?
“Am I not good enough for you? Is that what you’re saying?” Anger laces my voice because the Tally I know would never think something so shallow.
“NO!” she gasps. “Of course not. How could you even think that?”
“What else am I supposed to think?”
“I think it would be obvious, Trey. Has it escaped your attention that I lied to you or have you not figured out that Candy isn’t my aunt and I wasn’t just visiting this place every day?” She motions towards the Mercy’s building. “I was a patient, Trey, a freaking patient in a psych hospital.”
“I am angry that you lied to me, but I understand why you did. What I’m trying to tell you is I don’t give a damn. It doesn’t change who you are to me.”
“Why aren’t you listening to me?” She rubs her forehead and her other hand clenches and unclenches. “How can you possibly want to be with someone like me, when you already have your mom who needs you? Can you honestly tell me that when you leave this place from visiting her that you would want to then have to deal with me?”
I’m speechless. She has rendered me speechless. I
“You think so little of me?” I finally grate out.
“Trey,” she says gently as if she is attempting to calm a raging beast, which is not far from what I am in the moment. “I wasn’t meaning to insult you or question your integrity. Please understand that.”
“Whether you meant to or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that you did.”
“I’m sorry.” She is. I can see it in the slump of her shoulders and the forlorn look on her face. Tally doesn’t want to hurt me, but she’s also afraid that I will hurt her.
“I will accept your apology as long as you let me prove you wrong.”
She stands there quietly. Her eyes look everywhere but at me. She lets out an exhausted breath and I think she is finally coming to her senses.
“Then I guess I will just have to live with the fact that you won’t forgive me.” She turns and is in her car, backing out of the lot before I have time to even register what has happened. Her words say one thing, but the look in her eyes says something totally different. She wants to be with me, I know she does. It is written all over her beautiful face. But I also see the terror there. She’s scared to death that I will walk away, that at some point I won’t be able to handle whatever it is that is going on with her.
I pull the picture from my back pocket and look at the girl, devastated and bloody.
“Tally, baby, what happened to you?” My voice is soft, but even I hear the ache in it. Whatever it is that put her in that bathroom on that floor, whatever it is that brought her to this place, it isn’t enough to keep me away. She may not believe me now. She may expect me to just accept what she’s said, but instead she’s going to learn that she has just met her match. And after seeing what was done to her locker, there is no way on earth or hell that she will go through that again.
Chapter 16
“I have never wanted to believe somebody more in my life than I did Trey. As he stood before me offering me himself, offering for me to be held in those arms again. I nearly caved. I nearly said fine, I’ll take my chances. But if I let him in any further than he already is and then he decided to jump ship, I’m not sure I would ever get over that. I’m not a stranger to pain and at one time, I welcomed it with open arms. But it nearly killed me. I won’t do that again.” ~Tally
I hear the knock on my door and as much as I wish I could just tell her to go away, I know I can’t do that to my mom.
“Come in,” I tell her, surprised that she didn’t just walk in.
“Tally?” she says tentatively. “I just wanted to see how your first day back was.”
I close my eyes remembering my locker, then Trey. “It was fine,” I lie.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” She walks farther in and then sits on the edge of my bed where I’m lying on my back, looking at the ceiling. What am I going to say? No? My heart is broken; some buttheads vandalized my locker; so please leave me the crap alone?
“Sure,” I tell her.
“I just need you to know that I realize your father and I haven’t handled this in the best way. It’s just really hard to see your child go through something like this, especially when we don’t understand it.”
I know she means well, really I do, but does she think that I understand it any better than she does? Didn’t she stop to think that regardless of whether or not they understood, I needed them? I needed them to tell me that it didn’t matter what was going on that they loved me no matter what?
“It’s alright, Mom. I know it’s hard.” I try to sound as understanding as I possibly can, but with everything that has happened today, my level of sincerity is about as high as my level of patience, which is to say, nonexistent.
“It’s really not, but I want you to know that we love you very much, even when we aren’t good at showing it. Parents make mistakes, and when we do, we have no idea how to fix them.” I look up at her face and see sincerity there. I love her. I want to accept her apology and part of me does. But it will take time for me to let go of the hurt they caused.
“Okay.” That’s all I can say. That’s all I have in me right now.
“Alright,” she says after a moment. She stands and walks out, closing the door quietly behind her.
I glance over at my books that are sitting on my desk. Natalie had brought them over just as she said she would. Then she proceeded to drill me about Trey, after she swooned over how good looking he was. “You said he was hot, Tal. You did not say he was not even on the temperature scale because of said hotness.” she had told me. I had to agree, the guy was amazing. But he was off limits, at least to me.
I hear my phone vibrate and Nat’s ring following. I reach over and grab it off my bedside table.
“What’s up?” I ask her.
“You don’t sound devastated. Why don’t you sound devastated?”
I frown at the ceiling, “Did you ever think that maybe I’m tired of being devastated?”
“If you were tired of being devastated you would be on the phone with that big hunk of Native American yumminess and not with me.” She points out helpfully.
“Nat?”
“Yes.”
“What do you want?”
She huffs, “I’m hurt that you would think that I want something. I’m just calling to say hi and see how you are doing. Also to point out that Trey ripped that crap off your locker. I forgot to mention that earlier.”
“WHAT!” With everything that had happened in the parking lot of Mercy, I hadn’t even thought to ask how he’d known where I was.
“I was trying to get it off, but it wouldn’t budge and then Hercules comes in and just rips it off. I thought he was going to kill someone. Seriously, Tal, you should have seen the look on his face.”
“I think I know the look you’re talking about,” I tell her as I remember the look he had given me when he thought I had insulted him and questioned his integrity.
“I just thought you might want a heads up. I can’t believe he didn’t tell you when you saw him today.”
“Things were a little tense when we talked today,” I remind her.
“Right, well, I’m not going to quit telling you that you’re making a mistake and that you will be pissed once one of the other hussies snags him up.”
I don’t even want to think about Trey with someone else. It actually makes me ill to even consider it. Thank you, Natalie, for that.
“Okay, Nat, I’m going to bed now.”
“Fine. Ignore me, but you know I’m right.”
As I lay there in my bed I close my eyes, willing myself to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. Instead, all I can think about is what I would do if Trey did move on and started dating someone else. I decide then that I would do what any girl would do in that situation. Slash the girl’s tires, of course.
I grin to myself as I think of Candy’s smiling face, then wonder if it was the best idea to be happy that my decision would please Candy.
~
“Hey,” I say to Nat who is standing next to my car as I climb out.
“Hey back,” she smiles.
“I know that smile, Natalie, what’s going on?” I narrow my eyes at her.
She shrugs. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she says a little too cheerfully.
She grabs my arm and tucks hers into it as we begin walking towards the front doors of the school. She’s chattering on about how she thinks Bobby Reynolds might be into her. Which I already know, but Nat is just so oblivious it takes her a couple years to catch up to what the rest of us have figured out. I listen intently, enjoying some normal conversation that for once doesn’t pertain to me, pscyh wards, or guys beyond my reach. Just as we’re nearing the lockers, we see a crowd.
“Bloody hell, not again,?
“They’re not doing anything to your locker, Tally,” Nat tells me as she holds me back.
“Then what’s going on?” I ask her as my eyes stay glued to the group of people. I can’t see through them to what so exclusively has their attention, but it’s not a fight because no one is chanting or acting like idiots.
“It’s a warning,” she tells me. Bobby walks up beside us and smiles warmly at me.
“Hey, Tally.” I’ve always liked Bobby, in a completely platonic sort of way. He’s always been kind to me and though he looks like he would hang with the “haves,", those are the ones that think they are beyond the reach of even the gods, he pretty much is his own crowd. He has friends in just about every social circle and if he doesn’t care for a person’s attitude or actions, he just doesn’t hang out with them, regardless of who it is.
“Hi Bobby. What do you mean, a warning?” I ask quickly after acknowledging him.
“I might have told Trey who was involved in the locker incident because he might have asked.” Nat confesses.
“You did not.” My eyes widen as I stare at my best friend.
“Tally someone needs to scare the crap out of these jerks and who better than your huge boyfriend.”
“He is not my boyfriend,” I snap in a whisper. Why I say it in a whisper I’m not sure, and even if I am, I will not fess up.
Natalie starts walking towards the group and Bobby stays with her, so I quickly move to catch up. She pushes through the crowd ignoring scowls, until we are finally at the front. My mouth drops open as I see Trey holding a very pissed off looking Carter Evans, Amber’s on again off again boyfriend, and unspoken leader of the “haves." Trey’s got him by the throat, pressed against a wall of lockers and to my utter surprise, Carter’s feet are not touching the ground. Trey’s hair is in its usual braid down his back and his gray shirt hugs his body. His forearm and bicep bulge as he holds his prey. He looks relaxed, oddly enough. His long, powerful legs encased in faded jeans that fit a little too nicely, are spread just slightly to brace his body because of the extra weight. He’s magnificent, truly, and though I don’t want to be, I am totally crazy, ignore the pun, for this guy. My attention is drawn back from his body to his face and then to Carter’s.