Carter Grayson by Sandi Lynn
“Memories are only bad because of the pain we let ourselves consume.”
“Excuse me?” he spoke.
“Nothing.” I shook my head.
“No! What did you mean by that?” He scowled as he approached me.
“I know how much it hurts you to be in this house and you’re only here because it’s Nora’s dying wish. But it doesn’t have to hurt, Mr. Grayson. Memories are a treasure and they were made with love. That’s what you need to remember. Embrace the memories here. Feel the good times and the love and remember what it’s like to live again.”
Anger consumed his eyes as he stared deeply into mine. I wasn’t turning away and I wasn’t letting him win. He needed to hear the words I had just spoken. Even if it meant that he would hate me even more than he already did.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” He pointed his finger at me. “Stay out of my fucking business and my life!” he spoke through gritted teeth before turning his back and storming out the patio door.
I inhaled a deep breath and went to check on Nora.
****
Sadie made a nice dinner, and when I went into Nora’s room to see if she was hungry, she slowly opened her eyes.
“Are you up to eating anything?” I asked as I walked over and placed my hand on hers.
“I just need some water,” she moaned.
I picked up the cup of water from the nightstand and brought the straw up to her mouth. The moment she took a sip, she started choking.
“It’s getting harder to swallow,” she whispered as she lay back down. “I’m getting weaker and the headaches are getting worse. I’ve done all my research and I know what you have to do now. Prepare Carter for it, please.” She looked at me as a tear fell from her eye.
“I will, but right now, I need to call the doctor. I’ll be right back.”
I walked out of her room and into mine. Grabbing the white piece of paper from my purse, I made a call to Doctor Sutton, who was the physician that Nora’s doctor back in New York assigned to her while she was here in California. He was fully aware of her condition and prescribed everything she needed.
“Sadie made dinner for us and you can’t be bothered to sit and eat it? I thought you were just checking on Nora,” he spoke in a nasty tone as he stood in the doorway of my room.
“I need to talk to you, Mr. Grayson.”
“You can talk to me at the dinner table.” He scowled as he walked away.
Rolling my eyes, I stepped into Nora’s room to check on her and she was sound asleep. Walking into the dining room, I took the seat across from Carter and placed the napkin in my lap.
“What do you need to discuss with me?” he asked.
“I made a call to Dr. Sutton and he will be stopping by in about an hour to examine Nora and bring some supplies for her.”
“Why?”
“She’s having trouble swallowing and her headaches are getting worse. She’s going to need to be hooked up to an IV for fluids from here on out and it will be easier to push her meds when she needs them.”
“How the fuck is she supposed to eat? Are you going to give her a feeding tube?”
“At this point, a feeding tube will only provide her with liquids her body no longer needs and that can cause her to swell, making her more uncomfortable.”
“So you’re going to let her starve to death? Is that what you’re telling me?” he shouted.
“Mr. Grayson, her body no longer needs the nutrition and she has no appetite. You’ve witnessed how she’s been eating the past couple of weeks. I’ll have Sadie make her some cream of wheat if she wants food, but to be honest, she’s not going to want anything. Now we just have to try and make her as comfortable as possible.”
He threw his napkin on the table, got up from his chair, and stormed out the patio door. I stood up and watched as he walked down to the beach. Sadie looked at me as I went to go after him.
“Don’t, Zoey. Let him be for a while. If you go out there now, you’ll only make it worse. He needs time to process what you just told him.”
“You’re right.” I sighed as I sat down, picked up my fork and began to eat.
Chapter Fifteen
Carter
I walked across the sand, shoes and socks still on my feet, and stood with my hands tucked in my pants pockets while I stared into the vast open water. Slowly closing my eyes, I listened to the crashing sounds of the waves as they hit the shoreline and the screams of the seagulls that flew overhead. As much as I thought I was prepared for this, I wasn’t.
After a while, I went back up to the house.
“Where’s Zoey?” I asked Sadie.
“She and the doctor are in with Nora,” she replied with a sad look.
I walked over to Nora’s bedroom and stood quietly at the door, watching the doctor examine her as Zoey hung the IV.
“You must be Mr. Grayson,” the doctor spoke. “Nora is resting comfortably and Zoey will keep me updated. Do you have any questions? I know how hard this is.”
“No.” I lightly shook my head. “I don’t have any questions.”
He gave me a sympathetic smile as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
“The best thing you can do is not to let her see you fall apart. She’s weak and you need to be her strength.”
We walked out of the room and I escorted him to the front door. After he left, I poured myself a glass of scotch and took it out on the patio. Darkness was falling and the stars were starting to make their appearance for the night. I took a seat in the lounge chair and sipped on my drink.
“Excuse me, Mr. Grayson. Is there anything I can get for you before I retire for the night?” Sadie asked.
“Tell Zoey I need to see her.”
A few moments later, I heard the patio door slide open.
“You wanted to see me?” Zoey’s voice spoke from behind.
“Have a seat.” I pointed to the lounge chair next to me. “Has Nora discussed any funeral arrangements with you?”
“No. She hasn’t. Why?”
I let out a long sigh. “She’s being very secretive about it and I want to know why.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I tried to talk to her about what her wishes were, and she told me that she already has everything arranged, and I will find out the details after her death. Are you sure you don’t know anything about it?”
“I’m positive, Mr. Grayson. She never said a word to me about it.”
“How much longer does she have to suffer?”
“Possibly a week, maybe two.”
“I need another drink,” I spoke as I got up from my chair and walked into the house.
“Drinking isn’t going to make all of this go away,” Zoey spoke as she followed me inside.
“We’re done talking, Zoey. I asked you a question, I got my answer, and now we’re done.”
I poured myself another scotch and brought the glass up to my lips. I stopped, set the glass down, and placed my hands on the bar. I needed to be sober for Nora.
****
One Week Later
In the course of a few days, Nora had multiple seizures, and every day, it was getting harder to watch her deteriorate. She was in and out of consciousness and pumped full of pain medication. I spent most of the day working in my office and holding meetings over Skype. Then I would go into her room, sit beside her bed, and talk to her. Half the time, she couldn’t hear me, but it didn’t matter.
I was sitting in my office when Zoey lightly knocked on the door.
“What is it?”
“Nora is asking for you,” she spoke.
I could tell something was wrong because of the sadness in her voice. Getting up from my chair and with a sick feeling in my stomach, I went and sat beside Nora.
“Hey.” I smiled. “I’m here now.”
She looked at me and a weak smile framed her lips.
“You’re going to be okay, Carter. Promise me.”
“I’ll be fine.” I softly stroked her forehead. “I don’t want you worrying about me.”
“Growing up, you always worried about me. So now, it’s my turn to worry about you. You’re my brother and I love you,” she spoke in a soft and weak tone.
“I love you too, Nora.” I kissed her forehead.
“Zoey?” she called out.
“I’m right here,” Zoey spoke as she walked over to her bedside and took hold of her hand.
“They’re here. I can see them. Can you?”
Zoey smiled as she softly spoke, “Yes. I can see them.”
Nora turned her head and stared out the window as she took her last breath. Tears started to stream down my face as I lowered my head on her chest.
Chapter Sixteen
Zoey
You would think when my patients died, it would be the hardest part of my job. But it wasn’t. Nora’s battle with her illness had ended and she was no longer suffering. Her soul left her body and she joined hands with her mother and father, who were waiting to take her home. Before fading into the distance, she turned to me and smiled. I smiled back as I waved goodbye to her.
I decided to leave the room and give Carter some time alone with his sister. Walking into my bedroom, I took my phone from the nightstand and called Dr. Sutton to let him know Nora had passed. Then, per Nora’s instructions upon her death, I called her attorney.
“Who were you talking to?” Carter asked as he stood in the doorway of my room.
“I had to call Dr. Sutton and Nora’s attorney.”
“Why her attorney?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Nora gave me specific instructions to call him immediately after she—” I looked down. “Someone will be here soon to take her body, so if you need some more time…”
“I’m fine. Sadie is in there now. I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do. She told me that everything for her funeral was taken care of and I didn’t have to worry about a thing. So now what? How the fuck do I know what to do?”
“All I know is her attorney is on the next flight out of New York. He’ll be here tonight. I’m sure she made all the arrangements with him.”
“This doesn’t make any sense to me. Why wouldn’t she tell me and let me handle it?”
“I have no clue, Mr. Grayson. I wish I had some answers for you, but she never discussed her arrangements with me. So, we’ll have to wait until he gets here.”
He shook his head and walked away. My job here was over, at least with taking care of Nora. She wanted me to try and help Carter through it, but I didn’t know how I was going to. The minute we got back to New York, we’d part ways, and I’d probably never see him again. Not by any choice of mine, but his. I was sure he couldn’t wait to get rid of me. I went into Nora’s room, expecting to find Carter in there, but he wasn’t.
“Have you seen Mr. Grayson, Sadie?” I asked.
“No. I haven’t,” she spoke with sadness as her teary eyes looked at me.
I walked around the house to see where he had gone, and I couldn’t find him. I even went up to his room, but he wasn’t there. Walking into the kitchen, I decided to make a pot of coffee. While I waited for it to brew, I placed my hands on the kitchen counter and stared out the window. That was when I saw Carter standing on the beach, facing the water.
I was startled by a knock on the door, and when I opened it, two tall gentlemen stood there with their hands clasped in front of them.
“Can I help you?”
“We’re from Kingsley Funeral Home and we’re here to collect the body of Nora Grayson.”
“Please, come in.”
I led them to Nora’s room and let them do their job while I went down to the beach to get Carter.
“Excuse me, Mr. Grayson?”
He turned and looked at me.
“The funeral home is here to pick up Nora. I thought you should know.”
“What funeral home?” he asked.
“Kingsley,” I replied.
He hastily walked back to the house and into Nora’s room.
“Excuse me, but who called you to pick up my sister’s body?”
“A man named Mr. Gainsley.”
“And what are you going to do with her body? She needs to be flown back to New York.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know. The only thing we were told was that we needed to pick up the body and further instructions will be given to us tomorrow.”
“Damn it.” He shook his head.
I walked over to him and lightly took hold of his arm. I knew I was crossing the line, but I didn’t care. He wasn’t going to make a scene.
“Mr. Grayson, let’s go into the kitchen and let them do their job. I’ve made some coffee.”
He looked down at my hand on his arm and then up at me.
“Coffee? You really think I want fucking coffee right now?” he angrily spoke as he left the room.
I followed him down the hallway and into the living room, where he picked up a bottle of scotch and poured himself a glass.
“This is what I want.” He held up his glass. “Not a fucking cup of coffee.”
I bit my tongue because he was lashing out from anger and hurt over Nora’s death. If the only way he could cope right now was to drink, then so be it. I turned away and walked into the kitchen where Sadie had started preparing dinner.
“You don’t need to do that, Sadie.”
“I do, Zoey. I need to keep busy.”
The men from the funeral home carried Nora’s body out and had Carter sign some papers.
“Let me ask you something,” Carter spoke as he approached me. “What did Nora mean when she said ‘they’ were here? Who did she see?”
I didn’t want to tell him because I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. So I hesitated.
“I asked you a question and I expect an answer,” he spoke in an angry tone.
“Your parents.”
He let out a loud, roaring laugh.
“And you expect me to believe that? She was delirious.”
“I don’t expect you to believe anything, Mr. Grayson. You asked me a question and I answered it.”
“You’re fucking nuts.” He pointed at me. “You may take good care of dying patients, but you’re not right in the head.”
He grabbed the bottle of scotch and took it upstairs.
“Don’t listen to him, Zoey. He isn’t aware of what he’s saying,” Sadie spoke.
“I know he doesn’t.” I sighed.
I ate dinner with Sadie, helped her clean up, and headed to my room for the night. When I stepped out of the shower, my phone rang. It was Mr. Gainsley.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Miss Benson, it’s Brian Gainsley. I just landed and I’m going to get a hotel room for the night. I’ll be by tomorrow say around ten?”
“Ten o’clock will be fine, Mr. Gainsley.”
“See you then,” he spoke.
Before climbing into bed, I decided to check on Carter. The door to his bedroom was slightly opened, and when I took a peek inside, I noticed he wasn’t in there. Opening the door all the way, I looked around and saw nothing. So I went downstairs and noticed the patio door wasn’t slid shut all the way. I went back to my room, put on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, and went down to the beach.
“Mr. Grayson.” I knelt down beside him as he lay on his back in the sand with the empty scotch bottle lying beside him.
He let out a moan and tried to roll over. I sighed and shook my head as I grabbed his arm and tried to get him up.
“Come on, Carter, you have to help me out here.”
Another moan escaped his lips.
“As much as I want to leave your dumb drunk ass out here all night, Nora would never forgive me. So come on!” I shouted.
I managed to sit him up and he looked at me.
“I can’t believe she’s
“I know. We can talk about this later, after you’ve sobered up.”
I helped him up, hooked his arm around my neck, and practically dragged him back to the house. There was no way he was getting up the stairs, so I led him over to the couch and helped him lie down. I ran up to his room and grabbed his pillow from the bed and a white blanket that sat on a chair. After covering him and making sure he was comfortable, I went to bed.
Chapter Seventeen
Carter
I was awoken out of a sound sleep by the feeling of being poked. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Zoey standing over me.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I mumbled as I placed my arm over my head.
“Nora’s attorney will be here in an hour and you reek like alcohol. Get yourself up, get in the shower, and get dressed. I brought you some coffee.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?” I asked.
“I tried. You wouldn’t wake up.”
I managed to sit myself up and take the coffee cup from her hands.
“Why am I on the couch? I thought I was in bed.”
“I found you passed out on the beach last night and I could only manage to drag you this far. You’re lucky I didn’t leave you out there all night.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” I brought the cup up to my lips.
“I know I didn’t have to, but I wasn’t going to let you embarrass yourself.”
I closed my eyes to try and soothe the massive headache that consumed me.
“I better go shower before he gets here.”
I got up from the couch and slowly walked up the stairs. Standing under the hot water and letting it stream down my body, I thought about all the changes my life was going to have now that Nora was gone. I hated change. I used to welcome it because I believed at one time it was good for the soul, but these changes I’d experienced over the past years were nothing but fucking torture. I was a thirty-year-old man who had more money than I knew what do with and it didn’t matter. If I could give it all up to have my loved ones back, I would in a heartbeat. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.
After I finished showering and getting dressed, I headed downstairs and heard a knock at the door. Walking over to it, I turned the knob and saw Brian Gainsley standing there.