Chaste by Lydia Michaels
Kelly shoved past him. “No time. Ashlynn was in an accident.”
When he got back to the truck, Ashlynn was gone. He panicked and scanned the area. She sat in the back of the ambulance getting her wrist taped. He ran to her.
“I’m here.”
She appeared relieved as soon as he spoke. “Kelly.”
He took her other hand and rubbed her cold fingers. There was a cut on her nose where her glasses usually sat. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Just shaken.”
“You shouldn’t have been driving in this,” he snapped. It wasn’t her fault, but he needed to yell at someone.
“Ma’am, have you had anything to drink tonight?”
Ashlynn turned her scowl from him to the officer. “No. I was coming from my dad’s.”
Kelly faced the officer. “The other driver did. He was in my bar. I served him two watered down drinks and sent him on his way.”
“That’s under the limit.”
“But I think he was drinking before he got there.”
The cop frowned. “And you served him anyway? You lookin’ to lose your liquor license, son?”
Kelly knew the rules. So long as he didn’t provide over the legal limit he couldn’t be held accountable, but deep down he knew those last two drinks might’ve been what impaired the kid.
He turned to Ashlynn and realized how lucky she’d been. Fuck. This was his fault.
They took a sample of her blood anyway as well as the other driver’s. A tow truck arrived and Ashlynn started to cry. “My truck…”
He sat with her as they watched Great White get hauled away. The other driver was fed into the back of a police car after failing two breathalyzers. They wouldn’t know how much he had until the blood work went to the lab.
“You’re free to go, ma’am, unless you feel you need a doctor.”
Kelly helped Ashlynn stand. She was shivering, which he didn’t think was from the cold. He walked her back to the bar. Customers were still finding their way to their cars, but the lot was mostly empty. When he entered Luke rushed to his side. “You all right, Ashlynn?”
“I’m okay.”
Sue brought her a diet cola. “I knew that kid was drinking before he got here.”
He sat her in a booth with Tristan and Luke then went to pay the band. “Sorry about tonight.”
The drummer shrugged. “Shit happens. That your lady? She okay?”
Kelly nodded. He wanted to get her home.
Once the band was gone, Sue cleaned up and Tristan and Luke took off. “I should call my dad,” Ashlynn said.
“Don’t make him worry. Let’s get you home and in bed and then you can call him. That way if he wants to see you he’s right down the road.”
She nodded and moaned, “What am I going to do about my truck?”
“It’s just a car, Ashlynn. What was inside was much more precious. I’m glad you’re okay.”
She nodded and he saw sadness in her eyes. “I’m still mad at you.”
“I know. I’m mad at me too.” For more reasons than she probably realized.
He was running on adrenaline. It was enough to get her home and put her to bed. She passed out shortly after talking to her father on the phone and assuring him she was okay.
As he sat in the chair in their room, nursing a bottle of Tully, he stared at her, thinking of how different the night could have gone. What if he had refused to serve that kid? What if it hadn’t been snowing? What if they never had a fight about that stupid pool and she’d been safe at home?
While the weather was out of his hands, the rest was his own doing. He tipped the bottle to his mouth and dropped it to the floor once it was empty. With bleary eyes he stumbled to the bathroom.
He didn’t want to disturb her. She’d been through enough. Fumbling down the stairs, he scuffled his way to kitchen and then to the couch and collapsed. His last thought before sleep claimed him was this never would have happened if he wasn’t such a shitty husband.
Chapter Eighteen
Ashlynn winced as she slipped on her robe. How long would her wrist be like this? When she returned to her room she stubbed her toe on something that skidded across the carpet. Bending, she picked it up. It was a bottle.
As she tripped over various items on the floor, she made her way to her desk. After rummaging around she found her old glasses. The prescription wasn’t right, but it was better than nothing.
With one hand, she scooped up Kelly’s clothes and tossed them in the hamper. Where was he?
She dropped the empty bottle in the wastebasket and headed downstairs. In the sink were several dishes. She frowned. He could clean up his own crap. She couldn’t do dishes with one hand.
When she found him shirtless on the couch without even a blanket, she sighed. Another bottle hung from his fingers.
“Oh, Kelly…” She took the bottle, which was half-empty, and stuck it in the cabinet.
With one hand, she gathered up the plate sitting on the table and wiped down the counter. When she did as much as she could manage she went to the living room and turned the television on low and waited for Kelly to wake.
By noon, when he still wasn’t up, she attempted to dress herself. What a nightmare that was. She couldn’t button her pants and kept bumping her wrist. It was even difficult to brush her teeth using her left hand.
She headed downstairs a while later, braless, in a loose fleece and overalls. Her boots were impossible, so she settled for flip-flops. Kelly was still sleeping.
“Kelly. Kelly, wake up.”
He groaned.
“Kelly, I need you to take me to the optometrist in town to get new glasses. My old ones have the wrong lenses.”
He blinked at her. “Why am I on the couch?”
“I don’t know. Can you please get up? I also need help getting my boots on.”
His gaze traveled over her. When his watchful eyes settled on her wrist still bandaged then the scrape on her nose, he sat up. “Are you all right? Do you feel okay?” He shook his head as if shaking his memory back into place.
“I’m fine, but I’m getting a headache from these glasses. Can you take me into town?”
“Sure. Just let me get a shower.” He stood and stretched. As he passed her she smelled the booze on his breath. His fingers gently touched her jaw as he went toward the stairs.
She waited in the kitchen at the table, flipping through a gardening magazine. When Kelly came down his hair was damp and his jaw freshly shaven. She knew his razor likely sat next to his toothbrush ten inches from the holders where they belonged and the shower curtain was probably still open.
He grabbed a banana, peeled back the skin, and bit into the end. “Sorry about the dishes. I’ll get them when we get back. Ready?”
She went to the coat tree and carefully slid her arms through her coat. Kelly helped her with her boots. The drive into town was quiet. Kelly took the roads extra slow.
“How long do you think it’ll take to get my truck back?”
“Don’t know. We can stop at the body shop and see.”
She didn’t want to see her pretty truck all scraped up. “I probably won’t be able to drive until my wrist is better. Is the person who almost hit me all right?”
His jaw ticked. “He’s in jail.”
“Why?”
He turned the truck into the eye doctor’s parking lot and faced her. “He was drunk, Ashlynn. He could have killed someone. He could have killed you.”
She didn’t understand how he could be so angry with someone drinking too much when she'd found two bottles from him that morning and he owned a bar. She was rightfully angry with the other driver, but Kelly sounded like a hypocrite.
They went into the store and Dr. Marvin greeted her by name. After telling him what happened and that she needed new frames, he promised to have them to her by the end of the day.
As she tried on various pairs Kelly watched her. “I like the first ones.”
She glanced at the first
pair she had tried on. “They’re almost three hundred dollars.”
“So?”
“So I don’t spend that much on glasses.”
“Why not? You wear them every day.”
She picked up a less expensive pair. “I don’t know how much my truck will cost.”
He followed her to the mirror with the pricy pair. “We’ll manage.”
“You didn’t just lose two months of a harvest.”
He stilled. “Ashlynn, what’s yours is mine and vice versa. We lost something together. I know the snow’s stressful for you, but we’ll be all right. Let me buy the glasses for you.”
She narrowed her eyes at him and carried the cheaper pair to the counter.
“What are you doing? You like these. Put the other ones back.”
Turning to him so Dr. Martin didn’t overhear, she hissed, “I don’t want any of your money, Kelly. Who knows whose pride it cost for you to have it.”
His lips thinned as they seemed to have some sort of stare down for the longer side of a minute. “I’ll meet you in the truck.”
When they returned home she waited for Kelly to do the dishes so she could make dinner. Instead of going to the sink he went to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle.
“We haven’t eaten yet,” she said.
“Not hungry,” he mumbled as he left the kitchen.
Ashlynn blinked back tears of frustration. Unable to simply wait for results, she filled one basin of the sink with soapy water and plopped the dishes in to soak. It was impossible to cut vegetables with one hand so she called the pizzeria and ordered a broccoli pie. As she waited for their food she swished the dishes around and cleaned them as best she could.
The doorbell rang. “Ash, did you order pizza?”
“Yes. Hold on, let me get my wallet.”
Drying off her hand, she went to her bag, struggling with the zipper. When she reached the door the deliveryman was gone and Kelly held the box. “Hope you don’t mind. I paid. If it bothers you, you can pay me back.” He dropped the pie on the table and returned to the living room.
She followed him. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Told you, I’m not hungry.” He sipped from the bottle and she frowned.
“Are you going to work tonight?”
“No. I’m not opening for a few days.”
“But it’s the weekend.”
He shrugged.
She’d never seen him like this. They had a lot to discuss, but as he continued to scowl at the television, she thought maybe this wasn’t the time.
The doctor called around six to let her know her glasses were ready. She couldn’t drive and Kelly was drinking. Thanking the doctor for his prompt work, she offered to pick up the new frames in the morning.
Kelly was still drinking and ignoring her after she had a slice of pizza. Enough. Walking into the living room, she shut off the TV. He made no objection as if he couldn’t care less. She lowered herself to the chair. “Kelly, we need to talk.”
“Talk.”
Her shoulders stiffened at his clipped tone. He’d never shut her out like this before. It was cold and intimidating. “How long do you plan on drinking like this?” It wasn’t the topic she had in mind, but the more she looked at that bottle in his hand the more it irked her.
“As long as I feel like it.”
Her irritation doubled. “Could you stop acting like a child and talk to me?”
He turned his narrowing eyes on her. “A child? I get up every day and go to work. I run my own business, pay my bills on time, vote, and have a wife. I’m not a child.”
“Well, you aren’t being a very good husband right now.” She didn’t have to see his face to know the words cut the moment they left her mouth.
His face tightened as if he had something callous to say, but he plugged his lips with the bottle and turned away.
Not used to this sort of tension, she quietly admitted, “I don’t like you drinking this much in my house.”
“Your house? Tell me, Ashlynn, what exactly do you consider mine?”
There was a reason she was acting so cold. If she hadn’t seen that stupid bet, all this tension between them wouldn’t exist. He betrayed her trust and she was clueless how to remedy that. But she’d done nothing to provoke such a hurtful betrayal. She gritted her teeth and muttered, “You got what you paid for.”
“God damn it!”
She jumped when the bottle crashed against the wall. He stood and was in front of her in two strides towering over her. “Stop throwing that in my face. I defended you the night they made that damn bet! I didn’t know you, but I knew you were a virgin. The whole fucking town knew. I told them they were assholes and walked out. I’m not going to keep apologizing for something I didn’t do. I’ve done enough shit I have to live with.”
“Then why did you ask me to marry you!” she shouted.
“Because I fucking love you!” He turned and roared, “God damn it! I did everything right. I walked away because you asked me to. You’re the one who came back. Do you think I’d marry someone I wasn’t in love with? Fuck! It’s bad enough my family doesn’t have any faith in me, but you’re my wife!”
She drew back in her chair. “Stop yelling at me!”
He pivoted, shoving his fingers through his hair, as he paced and mumbled, “You left. You fucking left.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The other night.”
“I went to my father’s!”
“That’s not what marriage is, Ashlynn. We’re supposed to work through our problems. Talk them out.”
“I was hurt.”
“How do you think I felt? I didn’t know where you were or when you were coming back.”
Did he think she wouldn’t come back? Was he that insecure? Of course she’d be back. She was hurt and angry. “I’m back now.” She hadn’t realized her leaving would’ve upset him so much. “I want to talk, but you’re just yelling and throwing things.”
He plopped into the other chair. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
Leave him? “I’m not. I was just upset.”
When he turned his blue eyes on her there was such vulnerability swirling in their depths she didn’t know what to say. His voice was low. “Promise you’ll never leave.” Never had she seen such raw fear in his eyes.
“I promise. We took vows, Kelly. That means something to me, but some things need to change around here.”
“Like?”
Swallowing back her nerves, she faced him. He wanted to be an adult? It was time he started acting like one. He was more than capable. “Like I’m not your maid. You need to clean up after yourself.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll do better with that.”
“And whatever this drinking thing is, I don’t like it. Having a drink every once in a while is fine, but your empty bottles around the house scare me.”
His mouth opened and snapped shut. His jaw twitched and he looked away. “Sometimes I drink too much when I’m upset.”
“Is it a problem? Should we talk to someone?”
“No. I’ll get it under control. Last night, when I saw your truck flipped, something snapped in me. I wanted to kill that kid that made you crash. It was my fault.”
That was ridiculous. “How was it your fault?”
“Because I knew he was drinking and I served him anyway. He only had two drinks, but maybe that was what pushed him over his limit.”
It never bothered her before that her husband owned a bar, but suddenly she saw many possible issues that could crop up over the years. She faced the window and thought about those seconds before her truck spun out of control and landed in the ditch, how it felt once she went spiraling off the road, how she feared never seeing Kelly or her dad again. A drunk driver killed her mom.
“I can see by your expression you blame me.”
She pivoted. “I’m not blaming you.”
“Sure you are. You just don’t want to. It’s okay. It’s
not the first time my actions hurt you or put you in danger.”
“What?”
“You know what I’m referring to.”
Evan. “I won’t sit here and let you excuse that asshole by taking the blame. What happened to me this summer was his fault, not yours.”
“And what about the drunk driver?”
She wasn’t blaming him. Her worry was about their future, about how much alcohol he’d consumed over the past twenty-four hours. It seemed stupid for him to handle a bad situation with the vice that caused it.
She slouched in her chair, unsure how to proceed. Broken pieces of glass lay beneath the wet mark on her wall. It frightened her when Kelly drank this much. “I don’t want you to drink in the house anymore.”
“This is my home too.” Where had this opposition come from?
Knowing better than to face off with someone in such a mood and not wanting to escalate the situation, she stood. “Well, you just defaced your home.”
“Ashlynn…” She paused at the door, but didn’t look at him. “I miss you.”
She missed him too, but she had too much turmoil trapped inside to go back to the way things had been. Her bruised dignity was an ache in her heart she couldn’t seem to heal. The thought of her in-laws laughing at her, her choices, it stung and humiliated her. Kelly was hurting too, but she was the victim here, not him. Still, she missed the courtesy that was between them before. “I need some time.”
“How much time?”
That was the scary part. “I don’t know.”
Turning, she left him there to think and give them each some space. By the time she reached her room—correction, their room—she was fighting hard to hold back tears. Perhaps he was right. There were some things she still thought of as hers when she should have acclimated to them now being theirs.
Being so tied up with her market and harvest, she hadn’t taken the time to educate herself regarding O’Malley’s. It was strange to think she now had a stake in the town bar.
Kelly was a smart man. It wasn’t difficult to determine what was wrong with their relationship. It had gone from everything outside of sex to nothing but. Yes, they’d discovered an incredible outlet for everything left unsaid, but they weren’t communicating. She’d expected more one on one time with him.
When he got back to the truck, Ashlynn was gone. He panicked and scanned the area. She sat in the back of the ambulance getting her wrist taped. He ran to her.
“I’m here.”
She appeared relieved as soon as he spoke. “Kelly.”
He took her other hand and rubbed her cold fingers. There was a cut on her nose where her glasses usually sat. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Just shaken.”
“You shouldn’t have been driving in this,” he snapped. It wasn’t her fault, but he needed to yell at someone.
“Ma’am, have you had anything to drink tonight?”
Ashlynn turned her scowl from him to the officer. “No. I was coming from my dad’s.”
Kelly faced the officer. “The other driver did. He was in my bar. I served him two watered down drinks and sent him on his way.”
“That’s under the limit.”
“But I think he was drinking before he got there.”
The cop frowned. “And you served him anyway? You lookin’ to lose your liquor license, son?”
Kelly knew the rules. So long as he didn’t provide over the legal limit he couldn’t be held accountable, but deep down he knew those last two drinks might’ve been what impaired the kid.
He turned to Ashlynn and realized how lucky she’d been. Fuck. This was his fault.
They took a sample of her blood anyway as well as the other driver’s. A tow truck arrived and Ashlynn started to cry. “My truck…”
He sat with her as they watched Great White get hauled away. The other driver was fed into the back of a police car after failing two breathalyzers. They wouldn’t know how much he had until the blood work went to the lab.
“You’re free to go, ma’am, unless you feel you need a doctor.”
Kelly helped Ashlynn stand. She was shivering, which he didn’t think was from the cold. He walked her back to the bar. Customers were still finding their way to their cars, but the lot was mostly empty. When he entered Luke rushed to his side. “You all right, Ashlynn?”
“I’m okay.”
Sue brought her a diet cola. “I knew that kid was drinking before he got here.”
He sat her in a booth with Tristan and Luke then went to pay the band. “Sorry about tonight.”
The drummer shrugged. “Shit happens. That your lady? She okay?”
Kelly nodded. He wanted to get her home.
Once the band was gone, Sue cleaned up and Tristan and Luke took off. “I should call my dad,” Ashlynn said.
“Don’t make him worry. Let’s get you home and in bed and then you can call him. That way if he wants to see you he’s right down the road.”
She nodded and moaned, “What am I going to do about my truck?”
“It’s just a car, Ashlynn. What was inside was much more precious. I’m glad you’re okay.”
She nodded and he saw sadness in her eyes. “I’m still mad at you.”
“I know. I’m mad at me too.” For more reasons than she probably realized.
He was running on adrenaline. It was enough to get her home and put her to bed. She passed out shortly after talking to her father on the phone and assuring him she was okay.
As he sat in the chair in their room, nursing a bottle of Tully, he stared at her, thinking of how different the night could have gone. What if he had refused to serve that kid? What if it hadn’t been snowing? What if they never had a fight about that stupid pool and she’d been safe at home?
While the weather was out of his hands, the rest was his own doing. He tipped the bottle to his mouth and dropped it to the floor once it was empty. With bleary eyes he stumbled to the bathroom.
He didn’t want to disturb her. She’d been through enough. Fumbling down the stairs, he scuffled his way to kitchen and then to the couch and collapsed. His last thought before sleep claimed him was this never would have happened if he wasn’t such a shitty husband.
Chapter Eighteen
Ashlynn winced as she slipped on her robe. How long would her wrist be like this? When she returned to her room she stubbed her toe on something that skidded across the carpet. Bending, she picked it up. It was a bottle.
As she tripped over various items on the floor, she made her way to her desk. After rummaging around she found her old glasses. The prescription wasn’t right, but it was better than nothing.
With one hand, she scooped up Kelly’s clothes and tossed them in the hamper. Where was he?
She dropped the empty bottle in the wastebasket and headed downstairs. In the sink were several dishes. She frowned. He could clean up his own crap. She couldn’t do dishes with one hand.
When she found him shirtless on the couch without even a blanket, she sighed. Another bottle hung from his fingers.
“Oh, Kelly…” She took the bottle, which was half-empty, and stuck it in the cabinet.
With one hand, she gathered up the plate sitting on the table and wiped down the counter. When she did as much as she could manage she went to the living room and turned the television on low and waited for Kelly to wake.
By noon, when he still wasn’t up, she attempted to dress herself. What a nightmare that was. She couldn’t button her pants and kept bumping her wrist. It was even difficult to brush her teeth using her left hand.
She headed downstairs a while later, braless, in a loose fleece and overalls. Her boots were impossible, so she settled for flip-flops. Kelly was still sleeping.
“Kelly. Kelly, wake up.”
He groaned.
“Kelly, I need you to take me to the optometrist in town to get new glasses. My old ones have the wrong lenses.”
He blinked at her. “Why am I on the couch?”
“I don’t know. Can you please get up? I also need help getting my boots on.”
His gaze traveled over her. When his watchful eyes settled on her wrist still bandaged then the scrape on her nose, he sat up. “Are you all right? Do you feel okay?” He shook his head as if shaking his memory back into place.
“I’m fine, but I’m getting a headache from these glasses. Can you take me into town?”
“Sure. Just let me get a shower.” He stood and stretched. As he passed her she smelled the booze on his breath. His fingers gently touched her jaw as he went toward the stairs.
She waited in the kitchen at the table, flipping through a gardening magazine. When Kelly came down his hair was damp and his jaw freshly shaven. She knew his razor likely sat next to his toothbrush ten inches from the holders where they belonged and the shower curtain was probably still open.
He grabbed a banana, peeled back the skin, and bit into the end. “Sorry about the dishes. I’ll get them when we get back. Ready?”
She went to the coat tree and carefully slid her arms through her coat. Kelly helped her with her boots. The drive into town was quiet. Kelly took the roads extra slow.
“How long do you think it’ll take to get my truck back?”
“Don’t know. We can stop at the body shop and see.”
She didn’t want to see her pretty truck all scraped up. “I probably won’t be able to drive until my wrist is better. Is the person who almost hit me all right?”
His jaw ticked. “He’s in jail.”
“Why?”
He turned the truck into the eye doctor’s parking lot and faced her. “He was drunk, Ashlynn. He could have killed someone. He could have killed you.”
She didn’t understand how he could be so angry with someone drinking too much when she'd found two bottles from him that morning and he owned a bar. She was rightfully angry with the other driver, but Kelly sounded like a hypocrite.
They went into the store and Dr. Marvin greeted her by name. After telling him what happened and that she needed new frames, he promised to have them to her by the end of the day.
As she tried on various pairs Kelly watched her. “I like the first ones.”
She glanced at the first
“So?”
“So I don’t spend that much on glasses.”
“Why not? You wear them every day.”
She picked up a less expensive pair. “I don’t know how much my truck will cost.”
He followed her to the mirror with the pricy pair. “We’ll manage.”
“You didn’t just lose two months of a harvest.”
He stilled. “Ashlynn, what’s yours is mine and vice versa. We lost something together. I know the snow’s stressful for you, but we’ll be all right. Let me buy the glasses for you.”
She narrowed her eyes at him and carried the cheaper pair to the counter.
“What are you doing? You like these. Put the other ones back.”
Turning to him so Dr. Martin didn’t overhear, she hissed, “I don’t want any of your money, Kelly. Who knows whose pride it cost for you to have it.”
His lips thinned as they seemed to have some sort of stare down for the longer side of a minute. “I’ll meet you in the truck.”
When they returned home she waited for Kelly to do the dishes so she could make dinner. Instead of going to the sink he went to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle.
“We haven’t eaten yet,” she said.
“Not hungry,” he mumbled as he left the kitchen.
Ashlynn blinked back tears of frustration. Unable to simply wait for results, she filled one basin of the sink with soapy water and plopped the dishes in to soak. It was impossible to cut vegetables with one hand so she called the pizzeria and ordered a broccoli pie. As she waited for their food she swished the dishes around and cleaned them as best she could.
The doorbell rang. “Ash, did you order pizza?”
“Yes. Hold on, let me get my wallet.”
Drying off her hand, she went to her bag, struggling with the zipper. When she reached the door the deliveryman was gone and Kelly held the box. “Hope you don’t mind. I paid. If it bothers you, you can pay me back.” He dropped the pie on the table and returned to the living room.
She followed him. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Told you, I’m not hungry.” He sipped from the bottle and she frowned.
“Are you going to work tonight?”
“No. I’m not opening for a few days.”
“But it’s the weekend.”
He shrugged.
She’d never seen him like this. They had a lot to discuss, but as he continued to scowl at the television, she thought maybe this wasn’t the time.
The doctor called around six to let her know her glasses were ready. She couldn’t drive and Kelly was drinking. Thanking the doctor for his prompt work, she offered to pick up the new frames in the morning.
Kelly was still drinking and ignoring her after she had a slice of pizza. Enough. Walking into the living room, she shut off the TV. He made no objection as if he couldn’t care less. She lowered herself to the chair. “Kelly, we need to talk.”
“Talk.”
Her shoulders stiffened at his clipped tone. He’d never shut her out like this before. It was cold and intimidating. “How long do you plan on drinking like this?” It wasn’t the topic she had in mind, but the more she looked at that bottle in his hand the more it irked her.
“As long as I feel like it.”
Her irritation doubled. “Could you stop acting like a child and talk to me?”
He turned his narrowing eyes on her. “A child? I get up every day and go to work. I run my own business, pay my bills on time, vote, and have a wife. I’m not a child.”
“Well, you aren’t being a very good husband right now.” She didn’t have to see his face to know the words cut the moment they left her mouth.
His face tightened as if he had something callous to say, but he plugged his lips with the bottle and turned away.
Not used to this sort of tension, she quietly admitted, “I don’t like you drinking this much in my house.”
“Your house? Tell me, Ashlynn, what exactly do you consider mine?”
There was a reason she was acting so cold. If she hadn’t seen that stupid bet, all this tension between them wouldn’t exist. He betrayed her trust and she was clueless how to remedy that. But she’d done nothing to provoke such a hurtful betrayal. She gritted her teeth and muttered, “You got what you paid for.”
“God damn it!”
She jumped when the bottle crashed against the wall. He stood and was in front of her in two strides towering over her. “Stop throwing that in my face. I defended you the night they made that damn bet! I didn’t know you, but I knew you were a virgin. The whole fucking town knew. I told them they were assholes and walked out. I’m not going to keep apologizing for something I didn’t do. I’ve done enough shit I have to live with.”
“Then why did you ask me to marry you!” she shouted.
“Because I fucking love you!” He turned and roared, “God damn it! I did everything right. I walked away because you asked me to. You’re the one who came back. Do you think I’d marry someone I wasn’t in love with? Fuck! It’s bad enough my family doesn’t have any faith in me, but you’re my wife!”
She drew back in her chair. “Stop yelling at me!”
He pivoted, shoving his fingers through his hair, as he paced and mumbled, “You left. You fucking left.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The other night.”
“I went to my father’s!”
“That’s not what marriage is, Ashlynn. We’re supposed to work through our problems. Talk them out.”
“I was hurt.”
“How do you think I felt? I didn’t know where you were or when you were coming back.”
Did he think she wouldn’t come back? Was he that insecure? Of course she’d be back. She was hurt and angry. “I’m back now.” She hadn’t realized her leaving would’ve upset him so much. “I want to talk, but you’re just yelling and throwing things.”
He plopped into the other chair. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
Leave him? “I’m not. I was just upset.”
When he turned his blue eyes on her there was such vulnerability swirling in their depths she didn’t know what to say. His voice was low. “Promise you’ll never leave.” Never had she seen such raw fear in his eyes.
“I promise. We took vows, Kelly. That means something to me, but some things need to change around here.”
“Like?”
Swallowing back her nerves, she faced him. He wanted to be an adult? It was time he started acting like one. He was more than capable. “Like I’m not your maid. You need to clean up after yourself.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll do better with that.”
“And whatever this drinking thing is, I don’t like it. Having a drink every once in a while is fine, but your empty bottles around the house scare me.”
His mouth opened and snapped shut. His jaw twitched and he looked away. “Sometimes I drink too much when I’m upset.”
“Is it a problem? Should we talk to someone?”
“No. I’ll get it under control. Last night, when I saw your truck flipped, something snapped in me. I wanted to kill that kid that made you crash. It was my fault.”
That was ridiculous. “How was it your fault?”
“Because I knew he was drinking and I served him anyway. He only had two drinks, but maybe that was what pushed him over his limit.”
It never bothered her before that her husband owned a bar, but suddenly she saw many possible issues that could crop up over the years. She faced the window and thought about those seconds before her truck spun out of control and landed in the ditch, how it felt once she went spiraling off the road, how she feared never seeing Kelly or her dad again. A drunk driver killed her mom.
“I can see by your expression you blame me.”
She pivoted. “I’m not blaming you.”
“Sure you are. You just don’t want to. It’s okay. It’s
“What?”
“You know what I’m referring to.”
Evan. “I won’t sit here and let you excuse that asshole by taking the blame. What happened to me this summer was his fault, not yours.”
“And what about the drunk driver?”
She wasn’t blaming him. Her worry was about their future, about how much alcohol he’d consumed over the past twenty-four hours. It seemed stupid for him to handle a bad situation with the vice that caused it.
She slouched in her chair, unsure how to proceed. Broken pieces of glass lay beneath the wet mark on her wall. It frightened her when Kelly drank this much. “I don’t want you to drink in the house anymore.”
“This is my home too.” Where had this opposition come from?
Knowing better than to face off with someone in such a mood and not wanting to escalate the situation, she stood. “Well, you just defaced your home.”
“Ashlynn…” She paused at the door, but didn’t look at him. “I miss you.”
She missed him too, but she had too much turmoil trapped inside to go back to the way things had been. Her bruised dignity was an ache in her heart she couldn’t seem to heal. The thought of her in-laws laughing at her, her choices, it stung and humiliated her. Kelly was hurting too, but she was the victim here, not him. Still, she missed the courtesy that was between them before. “I need some time.”
“How much time?”
That was the scary part. “I don’t know.”
Turning, she left him there to think and give them each some space. By the time she reached her room—correction, their room—she was fighting hard to hold back tears. Perhaps he was right. There were some things she still thought of as hers when she should have acclimated to them now being theirs.
Being so tied up with her market and harvest, she hadn’t taken the time to educate herself regarding O’Malley’s. It was strange to think she now had a stake in the town bar.
Kelly was a smart man. It wasn’t difficult to determine what was wrong with their relationship. It had gone from everything outside of sex to nothing but. Yes, they’d discovered an incredible outlet for everything left unsaid, but they weren’t communicating. She’d expected more one on one time with him.