Coincidences by Maria Savva
‘I’m old enough to deal with it.’ Alice shrugged. ‘Besides, my friend Jenny is going to try to find out more about Jane. Jen’s boyfriend knows one of Jane’s friends; well, one of his friend’s sisters knows her. So, I’ll soon find out where she lives. Then I can get in touch with my dad.’
‘Just don’t set your heart on a happy ending. I don’t want you to get hurt.’
Alice smiled at Stephanie. ‘Look, whatever happens, I still have you and that’s enough for me.’
Tears formed in Stephanie’s eyes and she hugged Alice tightly as her mind clung on to the words she’d just spoken. ‘You’ll always have me, darling.’
As Stephanie watched Alice leave the flat that evening, aside from the sense of trepidation about her new determination to find Roger, she also felt a sense of renewed hope, like the faintest hint of the sun trying to break out from behind a sky thick with clouds. One thing that Roger and Miranda could never take away was the fact that she had been Alice’s mother for the past twenty-one years. She would always have that, no matter what.
Chapter Eleven
Thursday 21st August 1997
Alice arrived home from the bookstore at 6.30 p.m., and went straight into the kitchen to put her take-away fried chicken onto a plate. The past few days had taken their toll and she felt tired; almost jet-lagged. It seemed that she had been existing in a different time zone to everyone else, unable to sleep at night.
Just as she switched on the television and settled herself on the sofa to eat, the telephone rang. It was Jenny.
‘Hi Allie. Listen, me and Frank are meeting up with Tony and his sister, Susie, for a meal tonight. Do you wanna come?’
Alice remembered that Susie had witnessed her conversation at the party with Jane. She felt herself blush. How could she face meeting up with Susie again after that? But at the same time, she knew it would be an opportunity to try to find out more about Jane.
‘Maybe,’ said Alice, still mulling it over.
‘Oh, come on. You know what Frank and Tony are like when they get together; I’ll be bored.’
‘But you can talk to Susie,’ said Alice.
Jenny replied, lowering her voice as if to prevent anyone overhearing: ‘But I thought it would be an opportunity for you to talk to Susie; you know, about Jane.’
‘It would—’
‘Great,’ interrupted Jenny. ‘We’ll be over to pick you up in about half an hour.’
‘But...’ Alice eyed her fried chicken dinner, growing cold on the table in front of her. Jenny had already put down the phone.
Alice put her dinner in the fridge and waited tensely for Jenny and Frank to arrive.
At 7.15 the doorbell rang. Jenny stood outside smiling. ‘Ready?’ she said, jovially.
‘Yes, I’ll just grab a jacket.’
As Alice stepped out of her flat she saw that Tony and Susie were in Frank’s car with him.
‘Hello, Alice,’ said Frank as she got into the back of the car. ‘How are you? Had any good dreams about Andrew recently?’ He laughed.
‘Frank, stop it,’ said Jenny, pushing him from behind.
‘Just kidding, Alice,’ he said.
‘You’ve met Tony and Susie already, haven’t you?’ said Jenny.
‘Yes.’ Alice nodded towards Susie who was sitting in the middle of the back seat. Frank was driving, and Tony sat beside him in the front passenger seat.
Alice was glad that it was dark in the car, as she could feel her face was flushed. She couldn’t help but recall the way Susie had looked at her after she’d witnessed her conversation with Jane.
Alice faced the window, giving the appearance that she was enjoying the view, when really she was just hoping that she didn’t feel this nervous when they got to the restaurant.
‘Pizza all right for everyone?’ asked Tony.
‘Yes,’ the others said in unison.
Once inside the restaurant, they waited for a table to become available. Tony and Frank were chatting about a mutual friend they knew, and Susie had said something to Jenny which Alice didn’t quite catch, as she was being distracted by her thoughts.
‘I totally agree,’ said Jenny. ‘Alice and I say that every time we’re out, don’t we?’
Alice’s eyes widened and she forced a smile. ‘Yes, we do,’ she said, hoping there would be no further discussion on that particular subject.
A waitress approached them and Alice breathed a sigh of relief.
They were shown to their table. Alice chose the seat closest to Jenny, and furthest from Susie. She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but Susie seemed to be looking at her awkwardly. Flashbacks to the conversation with Jane kept flaring up in Alice’s mind every time she looked at her.
After they had chosen where to sit, Jenny turned towards Alice: ‘I need to go to the toilet. You?’ She seemed to be hinting that she wanted to speak to her.’
‘Er... yes, I’ll come with you.’
When they entered the ladies’ toilets, Jenny said: ‘On the way to your flat, I was trying to convince Susie to give you Jane’s address, but she seemed reluctant. I thought maybe you should try asking her.’
‘I’m not sure... If she doesn’t want to—’
‘I think it will be better coming from you,’ interjected Jenny. ‘You can explain better why you want the address.’
‘I’m embarrassed, Jen. I’m sure Susie thinks I’m weird. She heard everything I said to Jane, and God knows what Jane has said to her since.’
‘I don’t think she thinks you’re weird. Maybe she finds it all a bit strange. But even she admitted that you and Jane look so alike. At the end of the day, this is your only chance—while we’re out with her.’
‘I know you’re right. Let’s just see how it goes.’
The two girls returned to the table. The food had already arrived.
‘We ordered for you. Hope you don’t mind,’ said Frank. ‘You always order the same pizza, anyway,’ he said grinning.
‘That’s okay,’ said Alice.
Jenny made a face at Frank, sticking her tongue out.
All five began to eat and there was silence for a few moments.
‘Everyone’s hungry then,’ said Tony, smiling.
They all giggled.
After a brief discussion about how good the food was, Jenny turned towards Susie. ‘Susie? Alice wants to ask you a favour.’
Alice’s face blanched.
‘I know,’ said Susie. ‘It’s about Jane, isn’t it?’ She looked at Alice, not seeming to notice the strange colour Alice was sure she had turned.
‘Um, yes.’
‘You want her address,’ said Susie, whilst using her fork to remove the olives from the top of her pizza slice.
Alice was pleased she was no longer looking directly at her. She could now feel the blood rush to her face, and her mind went blank.
‘I’ve thought about it,’ continued Susie, taking a bite from her pizza slice. ‘I really think I should ask her first,’ she said, whilst chewing. ‘Does anyone want the olives from my pizza? I don’t want them.’
‘Yeah, I’ll have ’em,’ said Frank.
‘Wait,’ said Alice. ‘We haven’t finished discussing this.’ She surprised herself by saying that, but something inside her could not let it lie. She could feel all the eyes at the table were on her. Taking a deep breath, she continued: ‘Listen, I know Jane is your friend, and you don’t have to help me if you don’t want to; but I think it would do more harm than good if you told her that I want her address. You see, I’ve had a chat with my mum, and I’m almost sure that Jane is my half-sister. She doesn’t know, though, judging by her reaction at the party. Her dad... Our dad, obviously hasn’t told her. The reason I want her address is so that I can get in touch with my dad. He should be the one to tell Jane.’
‘Come on, Sue, what difference would it make if you give her Jane’s address? Don’t be so stubborn,’ said Tony picking up his glass of beer.
‘I’m not bei
‘I’m sure she’ll thank you when she finds out why you did it,’ said Tony.
‘Yeah,’ said Frank.
‘I’m not so sure.’ Susie sighed.
‘Look,’ said Alice, twisting around in her chair so that she could face Susie. ‘I could look for my dad by myself, but it would take ages. I wouldn’t be asking you if I wasn’t desperate.’
‘Sue, it’s obvious she’s related to Jane; I mean, look at her! It’s not as if you’d be giving her address to a stranger,’ said Tony. He smiled at Alice and took another swig of his beer.
‘I have to think about it,’ said Susie, frowning. ‘I need the toilet.’ She left the table.
Tony and Frank began to talk about football. Jenny tried to reassure Alice that Susie would come round to the idea. They began to talk about university and other things. When Susie returned to the table, she still looked glum. Alice felt too nervous to try asking her again.
Alice was the first to be dropped off home. She waved good-bye to the others in the car.
As she was watching the evening news, the telephone rang. It was Jenny.
‘Allie, I’ve got some great news!’ she said brightly.
‘Really? What?’ Alice was still looking at the TV screen even though she had turned down the volume.
‘I’ve got the address you wanted!’
Alice quickly lost interest in the TV. ‘How? I mean, how did you persuade her?’
‘When we dropped you off in the car, Tony kept going on at her about it. He pretended he knew you really well through Frank, and told her that you’re really nice and honest—which you are. Anyway, he said he would take the blame if anything went wrong. So she caved in.’
‘Wow! That’s amazing,’ said Alice.
‘Yeah, the only condition is that you can’t tell Jane where you got the address; you mustn’t mention anything about Susie or Tony.’
‘That’s fine, I’ll think of something.’
Jenny read out the address and a telephone number, and Alice wrote them down. Her mouth fell open as the realisation hit her that she had her father’s address and telephone number and he lived in London, so close to where she was living.
‘This is so weird,’ she said to Jenny. ‘Finchley. That’s only a few miles away. Imagine—all this time I might have passed my dad on the street and not even known it was him.’
‘That’s true,’ said Jenny. ‘So, what are you gonna do now?’ she asked excitedly.
‘Well, I suppose I should visit him. I’m not sure. If I’m honest, this has come as a surprise; I wasn’t expecting to get the address so quickly. I want to meet him, don’t get me wrong, but I thought it would be sometime in the future... but now... well, I could literally go and see him tomorrow, couldn’t I?’
‘I’m a bit confused, though. At the party, you said something about your dad having a different name, or something.’
‘I spoke to my mum last night and she explained some things. I always thought his name was Roger, but apparently Roger is his middle name. He’d been using it as his first name. Now, it seems that he’s gone back to using “Ken”; his proper first name.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Jenny.
‘Well, put it this way: I’m ninety-nine per cent sure it’s him.’
‘That’s pretty sure.’
‘Do you think I should just turn up at his house? What should I say? “Hi, Dad, I’m your long lost daughter”?’ She laughed and Jenny joined in.
‘I’m sure you’ll think of something to say to him... But aren’t you going to phone him first?’
‘I don’t know. Do you think I should?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Oh, Jen, I’m getting really nervous about this, already.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ said Jenny. ‘Oh, and before you hang up, I have some really exciting news for you!’
Alice’s mind was so preoccupied with thinking about the impending meeting with her father that she didn’t really pay attention, and was hoping she could just get Jenny off the phone so she could think about what to do. ‘What?’ she said, sounding disinterested.
‘Andrew wants your phone number!’
Alice now forgot about her other troubles. ‘Andrew?’ she gushed. ‘How? I mean... why?’
‘He likes you, you idiot!’ Jenny giggled.
Alice’s mind went back to their brief conversation at the party and she smiled to herself, hardly aware that she was smiling, so caught up in the moment. Then, she frowned. She began to feel jittery: what if Andrew phoned her, and they went out somewhere and she behaved the same way she had done at the party? That would definitely put him off. She didn’t feel ready to see him again. ‘I can’t see him... Well, not yet.’
‘What are you on about?’ Jenny’s voiced was laced with incomprehension. ‘You’ve been waiting for this chance.’
‘I know. I do like him, but I have got so much going on, I don’t think I would make very good company.’
‘Oh, you mean finding your dad? Well, you can just arrange to see Andrew after you’ve seen your dad,’ suggested Jenny.
‘It’s not just that,’ said Alice, speaking her thoughts: ‘I was really gloomy at the party; I don’t want to be like that again when I see Andrew. It’s just... I’m not myself at the moment. I can’t think straight. When he was talking to me at the party, I was practically ignoring him. I couldn’t help thinking about Jane, my dad, and my mum. It really threw me when she told me she’s not my real mum.’
‘What?’ Jenny sounded alarmed.
Alice suddenly remembered that she hadn’t told her about that. She always told Jenny everything, but this was different; she hadn’t wanted to tell anyone.
‘Allie?’ Jenny’s voice rang in her ear.
‘Sorry, I wasn’t going to tell you that... See? I can’t even control my own mouth. I was going to keep it a secret until I had time to come to terms with it... Not that I ever will,’ she said, sullen.
‘You mean to say that your mum is not your real mum?’ Jenny sounded as if she was having trouble keeping up with all the revelations.
‘I only found out on Monday evening. That’s part of the reason I was so moody at the party.’
‘You should have told me.’
‘Maybe.’
‘Do you want to talk about it? Maybe it’ll make you feel better?’
‘No,’ said Alice. ‘I’m not ready.’ Her voice broke.
‘Okay, sorry.’
‘So, Andrew asked for my number?’
‘Yeah. Well, Tony asked me for it so he could give it to Andrew. Hey, maybe Andrew has a thing about moody girls who ignore him.’ Jenny laughed trying to ease the tension.
Alice giggled.
‘Tony actually said that Andrew has fancied you for a while.’
Alice’s eyes widened in disbelief. ‘What should I do, Jen?’
‘Maybe meeting Andrew again will cheer you up.’
‘Maybe, but I think you’re right: I will go and see my dad first and then when I’m feeling more up to it, I’ll arrange to meet Andrew.’
‘Are you going to try to find your real mum too?’ asked Jenny, curious.
‘Not yet... I don’t really want to think about that.’
‘Sorry,’ said Jenny.
‘Listen, Jen, don’t give Tony my number.’
‘But—’
‘I can’t speak to Andrew when I’m feeling like this.’
‘Hmm... okay. Well, why don’t I ask Tony to give me Andrew’s number? Then you can call him when you’re ready,’ suggested Jenny.
Alice blushed, wondering whether she would have the nerve to call Andrew. ‘Um... yes. Okay. Maybe.’
‘I’ll do that,’ said Jenny.
When Alice put down the phone she felt cold. She had told Jenny about Stephanie not being her real mum; and somehow, saying it out loud to someone had made it
She walked over to the sofa and sat down, thoughts of the telephone conversation spinning through her mind. She grabbed onto the one positive thing that had come out of it: Andrew liked her. Andrew! She smiled; the memory of Jenny telling her that, was like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. Suddenly, she felt special and she felt loved. Someone loved her. She knew she would have to hold onto that feeling while she was navigating her way through the other matters that she had to somehow accept: Stephanie was not her mother, and her father may not want to know her.
As that thought found its way to her conscious mind, she noticed she was still holding the pen in her hand—the pen she had used to write down her father’s address and telephone number.
Insecurity reared its head, and as she looked at the words and numbers she had written on the paper, she began to wonder whether it was in fact her father’s address. Had she, as Stephanie had suggested, just been carried away by a dream? She remembered how Jane had looked at her at the party; she’d had no knowledge of her father being married before. So maybe it was true; maybe this was a different Ken Forester. It could all have been a long line of strange coincidences. Had she been fooled into thinking that she had found her father?
She stared at the piece of paper. On the one hand, she wanted to throw it in the bin and carry on her old life as best she could; but on the other hand, she desperately needed to know.
Without thinking, she picked up the phone. The handset shook against her ear as she dialled. The phone began to ring, once, twice, three times, four times. She was beginning to feel relieved that no one answered; she wouldn’t have to speak to him yet. But, just as she was about to put down the phone, a voice said: ‘Hello’. It was a man’s voice. Deep and loud. Could it be her father?