Courting the Clearwaters by Jill Penrod

Chapter 14

  Shawn had little experience in carpentry, but Marty had given him directions and promised to keep an eye on him, and on Monday morning he stood in a circle of eight teenage girls and explained how to build a deck. They were full of energy, and they wanted to do as much as they could, and they listened to his directions with such concentration he almost laughed at them; what they lacked in skill they made up in enthusiasm.

  He got them pounding nails and then moved across the lot to get some power saws set up for their next step. When he returned he watched them a moment. They seemed to get along, laughing and teasing each other, but one girl didn’t participate. She hung back, pounding at the farthest corner of the deck and not joining the group. The youth leader walked by and stopped, watching with him.

  “How are they doing?” he asked.

  “Fine. The small girl on the end; what’s her name?”

  “Becky. Becky Woods. Is she keeping up?”

  “Oh, yes, she’s not a problem.”

  “I said something to Marty, but I guess I should have told you, too. She has a little trouble getting around. One leg’s shorter, and she doesn’t walk well. Some hip trouble. I don’t think it will slow her down.”

  Shawn nodded and set up the saws, pulling out an extension cord and some safety glasses from the equipment box. Two girls had finished their section of the wall, and he got them started cutting the floorboards. Becky and a girl from the other side finished next, and he herded them to the second saw.

  “Are you two up to some power tools?” he asked.

  “I think so,” one girl said, wrinkling her nose. She was a cute little thing with long red hair and freckles.

  “I don’t know,” Becky said. She was a striking girl, with delicate features and light hair worn short and soft around her face. “I’m not very strong.”

  “That’s where the power part comes in,” Shawn said, smiling. “Do you ladies have names?”

  “Alexandra,” the redhead said.

  “Becky,” Becky answered.

  “Good. A and B. I should be able to remember that. Okay, I want you to start measuring for me. I have the measurements on this paper, and here’s a pencil. When you get all the boards measured, call me. Make sure you mark with an arrow which side is which length, okay?”

  The girls nodded, and he left them a while, watching from a distance. Becky moved with a pronounced limp, but she got where she needed to go. Alexandra laughed and joked with her, and soon another girl joined them, but when she did, Becky grew quiet and moved away, letting the other girl take over. Shawn frowned and returned to the pair, drawing the new girl aside.

  “May I ask your name?”

  “Catherine,” the girl said.

  “Wow. Alexandra and Becky and Catherine. ABC. You all are making this too easy. Okay, C, while A and B measure here, I want you to measure those boards over there. Good carpentry is dependent upon good measurements. Pick yourself a partner, and mark these numbers for me.”

  He handed her a sheet of paper and a pencil, and she grabbed a friend and began to measure. He stepped away, and he was glad to see Becky and Alexandra laughing again.

  He had to get Marty a couple times, but by lunch he felt more confident with the progress of the deck. He sat with Julie and Jenny to eat, sitting away from Jenny, hoping to keep his times with her as light as possible.

  “So, how are your girls?” Julie asked.

  “They’re great. A few smashed fingers, but they soon get used to that. May I ask how I got teenage girl duty this week?”

  “That was Julie’s idea,” Jenny said, grinning.

  “Oh, come on,” Julie said. “We know you need to stay on the ground, with that knee, and Marty thinks he’s grooming you to take over his job someday, so he wants you to learn all kinds of new things, like decks.”

  “But where did the girl part come from?” Shawn asked, deciding to let the reference to his knee pass.

  “Well, this group has a lot of smaller girls, and decks are great for smaller girls. But they’re tiring, and the poor things always smash their hands to bits and get splinters galore. We thought spending the week with a cute college guy would make it easier to bear.”

  He just looked at them, and then he laughed, realizing they were serious.

  “Okay,” he said, “I have no idea what to say to that. I’ve been called a lot of things, but not a cute college guy.”

  “I think that adds to your cuteness,” Julie said. “You have no clue you’re being drooled over.”

  “Julie,” Jenny scolded.

  “You two are dangerous,” Shawn said, shaking his head. “Oh, I have a question. I’ve got a little girl with some leg trouble. Not enough to slow her down, really, but I’ve been watching her, and I’m not sure I like what I see. When she’s with one other girl, she laughs and acts like any other teenage girl. As soon as she’s in a group, though, she pulls away entirely. My question is whether I can do anything. These kids are here for more than work, you know? I saw that with the last group. They grow as a team, and they grow in the Lord. If I get a chance to talk to this girl, is it appropriate that I do so? Being the cute college guy that I am?”

  “I think so,” Jenny said. “You’re right—we do more than build homes here. Shawn, you’re amazing sometimes. Yes, talk to this girl. Talk to all of them.”

  “Good,” he said. “Well, I want to get the floor done today so we can do the railing tomorrow, so I think I’ll go round up my team.”

  As the day wore on he found himself watching the girls closely. He talked to them, and he laughed with them—and at them—a lot, but mostly he observed, deciding who possessed what skills and how best to use them. The girls were all young, thirteen and fourteen years old, and they had no knowledge of construction, which was good, because he had no experience in this area, either, and they knew too little to realize that.

  He didn’t approach Becky that day for more than the usual directions, but he decided she was very aware of and uncomfortable with her disability, which surprised him, since the girls never seemed to make any mention of it or avoid her for it. He thought her problem was entirely in her head, and he gave it a lot of thought as they cleaned up for the day.

  The local churches provided dinners for the kids who came to Hope, and although Shawn, Jenny, Julie, and Marty were always invited, they only went once or twice with each group. Tonight Shawn had planned to go home, but the girls begged him to go with them, and he talked Jenny and Julie into joining him, hoping they could give him some insight into little Becky. The church wasn’t far, and Shawn rode in Jenny’s car. Julie had tried to put him in the front seat beside Jenny, but he had maneuvered himself into the back.

  “So, ladies,” he said, “what do we think of this group?”

  “The kids helping with siding are doing fine,” Julie said. “Jenny, do you agree?”

  “Yes. Some of them were here last summer and know the ropes. I think we’ll get the house completely finished and maybe start another this week.”

  “Good,” Shawn said. “We’ll have our deck done tomorrow or Wednesday, and then we’ll get to the painting in the other house.”

  “We’re cooking this summer,” Julie said. “Shawn Carpenter, you’ve been such a blessing.”

  “Thanks,” he said, smiling. He thought of Seth then and frowned. His friend was still missing work, still worrying his mother, and Shawn was largely responsible for it. He wasn’t a blessing to everyone. “Hey, ladies, can you help me with the girls tonight? Can you watch them and tell me what you think? I’m still not sure about Becky.”

  “Sure,” Jenny said. “No problem.”

  Dinner was noisy. The group was about forty strong, twelve adults and the rest high school and middle school kids. They only lived ninety minutes north, but it was too far to commute all week, so they were bunking at a church near the Hope site. Tonight they were excited and talked with
great animation about the bruises and smashed fingers and other little crises of their day. The girls all sat at the table with Shawn, vying for spots close to him, but Jenny and Julie rescued him by sitting to either side, and Shawn had to laugh. Even though he tried to deny it, their attention was a boost to his ego.

  Becky sat at the end of the table, and she said almost nothing during the meal. Alexandra sat beside her and tried to engage her in conversation, but Becky answered in short sentences and nothing more.

  “Which one?” Jenny whispered when they sat down.

  “The end, far corner.”

  “The pretty one? Blond?”

  “Yes.”

  She said no more, and when they finished, Shawn slipped away to the car, followed soon after by Julie and Jenny.

  “Do you want to come to my pool and swim a bit tonight?” Jenny asked.

  “Sounds good,” Julie said. “My muscles could use a good stretch.”

  “Sorry, I’ll have to pass,” Shawn said. “Maybe another night.”

  Jenny nodded, but she looked disappointed. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he had to stay away from her in situations where they might become emotionally attached. They fell into a tense silence, which Julie broke with some feelings about Becky.

  “I watched the girl,” Julie said. “I think she has no confidence. I don’t think the girls treated her differently, but she feels different regardless.”

  “That’s kind of what I thought,” Shawn said.

  “She’s the age where looks mean everything,” Jenny said quietly. “She looks in the mirror and sees nothing beautiful. She sees a hip and leg that don’t work. I’m not sure why she’s okay with one person but not in a group. She could be shy. But I wonder if she doesn’t look at the group and think she can’t belong. So she doesn’t see that she does.”

  “Any idea what can help her?” Shawn asked.

  “No,” Jenny said. “Just let her know she’s part of the group, whether she can see it or not. Just let the Spirit lead you this week.”

  He nodded, wondering what might help the girl focus on her gifts. At the moment nothing came to mind, and he hoped God would send some insight before the week was over.

  Shawn woke with a start, running his hand through his hair. This nightmare just wouldn’t leave him alone. It was the third time since Seth’s disappearance that he’d dreamed of that night. He got out of bed quickly, as though it were the cause of his dreams, and sat in his recliner, glancing at the clock. It was just past midnight.

  The night was cool, and he’d opened his window; when he heard a car pull up, he glanced outside. Seth’s car paused at his drive and then left.

  “No,” Shawn mumbled. “Seth, if you’re back I need to see you.”

  He didn’t think about the late hour. He got into his shorts and a T-shirt and ran down to his car. He assumed Seth would go to his apartment, and he drove through the dim streets hoping to talk to him, to apologize after all this time for sending him away. He got to the parking lot as Seth walked to his door.

  “Seth,” he called. His friend looked back in surprise.

  “Shawn? What are you doing here?”

  “I saw you drive by my house. May I come in? Please?”

  “Shawn, it’s late. I’ve been driving all evening.”

  “Right,” Shawn said, embarrassed. He hadn’t thought at all about how Seth would react to this intrusion. “I’m sorry. Call me tomorrow, okay?”

  “No, no, come on up. It’s okay. I just wasn’t planning to have this conversation so soon.”

  Shawn followed him up, not sure he should be here. Seth was tired, and he’d again shown his friend no consideration. He sat on the sofa while Seth went into the bathroom, and while he was tempted to be gone when he came out, he thought he might as well get this over with even though he’d started it out wrong. When Seth came out, he sat on the recliner and rubbed his hand through his hair, pulling out the rubber band and shaking it loose.

  “I’m sorry I ran,” Seth said.

  “That sounds familiar,” Shawn said. Seth grinned.

  “I didn’t even call. It was immature of me.”

  “Oh, we knew where you were.”

  “What?” Seth said.

  “You didn’t show up for group, and I just…I had Julie track you down. It was prying, I know, but the last time I had an argument with someone, he ended up dead two days later.”

  “Shawn, I didn’t even consider… I’m sorry I put you through that. I just had to think. It wasn’t even the fight with you that got to me so much. I was disappointed with myself for trying to…for my behavior with Violet. Well, I was mad at you, too. You really hit a nerve.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I shouldn’t have been talking about you with Jenny. In fairness to her, I started the whole thing. I wasn’t happy with all the concern my knee was getting. Did your time away help you get things straightened out?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Did you ever tell Vinnie what you were doing there?”

  “No.” Seth laughed. “I can’t believe you guys tracked me down. I guess you all must like me, even if I do get a little overprotective.”

  “Yeah, you’re not such a bad guy to have around. I don’t know why I don’t like to be worried about.”

  “You’re not the only one. Jenny and I talked about it once. I just get weird about my friends. I desperately don’t want anything to happen to any of you. I guess that’s why I keep giving you trouble about Jenny, too. You click unlike I’ve seen any two people click before.”

  “Maybe,” Shawn said. “Maybe you just see us better than we are because you’re looking for a relationship yourself.”

  “Maybe,” Seth said. “So, who knows where I’ve been?”

  “Um, probably everybody at this point. Violet is sure she drove you away, and your mom was frantic on Sunday, but I think I helped them calm down.”

  Seth got up and went into the kitchen, his brow deeply furrowed. “Want a soda?”

  “Sure,” Shawn said, joining Seth.

  “I still haven’t apologized to Violet.”

  “She called you sweet,” Shawn said, grinning.

  “That was generous of her,” Seth said.

  “You know, you did stop. You didn’t have sex with her,” Shawn said. “I don’t think considering a thing is so bad, when the considering leads you not to sin.”

  “But I did sin. I treated her wrong. Even if she doesn’t see it, I have to make it right.”

  “I know how hard that is,” Shawn said. “I was really worried I’d blown it with everybody last week.”

  “No.” Seth said. He grinned, and Shawn knew things were going to be okay.

  “Hey,” Shawn said as they went back to the living room. “My mom made it to church.”

  “Great. What did she think?”

  “Mrs. Schneider has taken her under her wing. She’s not sure she likes what she’s hearing, but she said she’d go back next week, and she’s given Tony permission to join the youth group.”

  “That’s great news,” Seth said. He yawned.

  “I should go,” Shawn said, smiling.

  “You could crash here tonight.”

  “No, I need to get up early. Mr. Clearwater has me back at Hope this week, and we start early. I’m a foreman to a group of eight middle school girls.”

  Seth laughed. “Don’t tell me—Julie’s idea.”

  “How did you know that?” Shawn asked. Seth just shook his head and laughed. “I’m going to use your restroom before I go. Get some sleep tonight, my friend. I hope things go well when you see Violet. Call her and your mom in the morning, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  Shawn walked away, and Seth called him back.

  “I’m sorry you had to worry. I won’t go anywhere, you know? Not like your dad did.”

  “I know. Old panic just does
n’t die that easily.”

  “Vinnie works, and I had a lot of time to read the Word. I read from the Gospels, about the disciples. They reminded me of us. They had Jesus right there, like we have His words, and they still said and did stupid things. But Jesus loved them. After he was raised from the dead, one morning he made them breakfast, because they’d been out all night fishing. That story amazed me. You’d think dying on a Roman cross was enough, you know? But Jesus kept thinking of their needs. He never stopped taking care of them, just like He never stops taking care of us.”

  “Just like you gave me your flashlight,” Shawn said.

  “Just like you took care of Mom and Violet.”

  They said nothing more; they didn’t need to, which was good, because the conversation had gotten sappy enough as it was. Shawn went into the bathroom, not surprised, when he came out, to find Seth asleep in the soft chair. He covered him with a blanket and left as quietly as he could. It was nice to have him back and to know their friendship had survived this.

  “Allison, Tracy, and Alexandra, take the kitchen. Becky, you’re with me. Everyone else take the living room. Any questions?”

  They said no and broke up, but Shawn didn’t miss the looks they gave Becky, clearly jealous. He had never been flirted with so much in his life, and it was no longer flattering. It was exhausting.

  “Let’s start with the edges,” Shawn said, opening the paint can. The group had finished the deck yesterday evening, and they would spend the rest of the week in this house, painting. He’d been impressed with the deck, being the first one he’d ever helped build, but it was hard doing something new and teaching it at the same time. Painting, while not as exciting, was at least familiar, and it kept the girls out of the sun. They were all pale, and all had been fairly pink the past two days.

  Becky started at the floor, carefully painting around the doorway. She was silent, and Shawn tried to think of some way to make her open up. Her silence and withdrawn attitude the last few days broke his heart. He saw some of himself in her.

  “So, Becky, what grade do you start in the fall?”

  “Eighth. I’m starting a new school.”

  “Are you looking forward to it?”

  “No. I’m kind of nervous.”

  “It’s hard to be with new people. I’ve always struggled with that.”

  “Are you just saying that?” she asked, wrinkling her nose. She was cute; he thought she would be a lovely lady someday.

  “No. I’ve had to overcome a lot of it this summer. I became a Christian a few months ago, and suddenly I’m surrounded by people. It isn’t always easy.”

  “I don’t like being surrounded by people,” Becky said quietly. “They stare. Nobody says anything, but I hate the way they stare.”

  “Do the kids in your youth group stare?” he asked.

  “Not any more. But the boys never give me a second glance.”

  Shawn nodded, trying hard not to chuckle. “Becky, I’m not sure that has anything to do with your leg. To the older boys, you’re still just a girl, and to the younger boys, you’re an icky girl. All girls are.”

  She laughed, but then she grew quiet. They painted in silence for a while, and she was the one to break the silence this time.

  “We did a good job on the deck, didn’t we?”

  “Looked good to me. I hate to admit this, but that was my first deck, too.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. You girls make a good team. You work together better than most groups we get.”

  She said nothing, dipping her brush back into the can and working with almost a fury on the wall. In a moment he realized she was crying.

  “Becky, what’s wrong?” he asked, moving to her side. He sat on the floor and looked at her.

  “I’m so embarrassed,” she said.

  “Why?”

  “For crying. It’s dumb.”

  “It isn’t dumb. You know, even Jesus cried. My friend Jenny says it’s a blessing to enjoy strong emotions. So, why are you crying?”

  “I haven’t been a good team member. I was worried. I didn’t want you to stare at me.”

  “Have I?”

  “Not really.”

  “I know how much it can hurt to be stared at. You’re right; a look can hurt as much as a cruel word, especially a first look, when someone first realizes you’re different from them.”

  “How would you know?” the girl asked, anger in her voice. “I hate when people say things like this to me when they don’t know anything about me.”

  “I don’t know about you. Maybe it isn’t the same for you.”

  He took a deep breath and slipped his shirt over his head, turning so she could see the worst of it. She stared, but not in disgust. She was amazed, he thought. She reached out to touch it and then pulled away.

  “Go ahead,” he said. “It feels strange.”

  She touched his shoulder, and she smiled.

  “You do know what it feels like.”

  “Yes, and you handle yours better than I handle mine. I hid this for six years. Even my own mother didn’t really see it until a few weeks ago. I was in a house fire. The first time somebody saw it, I ran away.”

  “But you wouldn’t do that now,” she said, looking scandalized.

  “It was a month ago.”

  She laughed, and he put his shirt back on. “You’re right. You do handle it worse than I do.”

  He chuckled and stood, going back to the far wall.

  “Mr. Carpenter,” she said after some time passed.

  “Hmm?”

  “You hid it for six years. How did somebody finally see it?”

  “God decided it was time I stop hiding. He wanted me to be able to show Becky Woods so she’d have somebody to laugh with. He wanted my friend Seth to know me, really know me, and maybe help me heal some wounds. He has plans for us, and we can’t hide from them.”

  “I guess I know that. But the boys still look at me strange.”

  “They’ll stop. They’ll grow up. But the girls really like you.”

  “You think so?”

  “Seems to me they always try to talk to you.”

  “I suppose.”

  They chatted lightly for a while longer, and then Shawn rotated the girls, changing the groups so they would all be forced to work together. He enjoyed his one-on-one time with them. One was a new Christian, and he had a lot in common with her. One came from a divorced family, and although he said nothing of his father’s death, he could understand the girl’s unique problems. Each one was smart and unique, and at the end of the day he felt he had connected with many of them.

  “You’re a mess,” Julie said when Marty called for clean up. She and Jenny came from the far site to help clean brushes.

  “Painting,” he said. “My arm is tired. And we have two more days of it. I can’t wait until you all get over this knee thing and I can get back to roofing. That’s my favorite job. I love the heights.”

  “We wanted to know if you’d like to go to dinner before group tonight,” Jenny said.

  “Sounds great, but I need a shower. It may take a while to get all this off.”

  She frowned, and Julie shrugged, as though they’d asked him expecting him to turn them down. He ached for doing it to them, but he saw no choice. He had to treat Jenny in a way her father could respect.

  “Will Seth show up tonight?” Julie asked, quickly filling in the dark silence.

  “He’ll be there. I didn’t see him yesterday—he worked second shift—but he left a message on the machine assuring me he’d be there.”

  “Is he okay?” Jenny asked.

  “I think so. I hope so. He needs to talk to Violet. Maybe he did yesterday. And I was glad I hadn’t completely botched our friendship.”

  “You’d have to do a lot to botch a friendship with Seth,” Jenny said. “He’s very forgiving. May I ask what you guys fought about?”


  “Just stupid things,” Shawn said. Jenny nodded, and he knew he should just tell her. Could it hurt anything to talk to her? “I got upset about the knee thing. He found out you and I had been talking about him. Only when I was mad and talked about it, it sounded like we’d been putting him down. He knows you’d never say anything cruel about him, Jenny. It was me he wasn’t so sure about.”

  She nodded, smiling. “He knows Julie and me as well as his own sisters. Maybe because he has sisters of his own.”

  “Well, he’s getting to know me, and it isn’t always easy,” Shawn said. He shrugged. Jenny smiled at him with that smile that melted him, the open smile full of approval.

  “I’m looking forward to having him at group tonight,” Julie said, looking from Jenny to Shawn. Aware that he was staring at her, he shook his head and excused himself. He felt like a schoolboy with a crush on the teacher. He was embarrassed and sad, and somewhere in the back of his mind Seth told him they were meant for each other. He wanted to believe it, but it just didn’t seem possible.