Cupid Has a Heart-On by Tara Sivec
“So, what do you say? Do you want to get hitched and be crazy together for the rest of our lives?”
Bringing my hands up between us, I slip the newly-enhanced ring onto my finger and slide my palms up his chest, draping my arms over his shoulders.
“Yes. One hundred percent yes!” I laugh as he pulls me tighter and presses his lips to mine.
“Jesus Christ, it’s about time. Can we eat now?” my father complains as Sam and I ignore everyone in the room.
“So, we’re not exchanging keys?” Tinder Tristan questions.
“How can any of you think about food and keys at a time like this?!” my mother shouts. “We have a wedding to plan, venues to look at, food to order, decorations to decorate, dresses to try on, family to call, and a bachelorette party to think about! Someone get Pinky on the phone!”
Sam and I pull apart, and I grin up at him.
“Are you sure you really want to do this? My mother is going to be crazier than ever now,” I tell him softly.
“I’m sure. But are you sure you’re okay doing this when you don’t have a job yet? No more freaking out about living with me and me taking care of you until that happens. Promise me,” he demands quietly.
“Oh, no need to worry about that whole job thing,” my mother suddenly pipes up, taking a pause in her wedding planning.
Sam and I watch as she grabs a piece of paper from next to her plate and walks it around the table, holding it out to me. I take it from her hands and my jaw drops when I read what is printed on it.
“You remember the two women who did the sex toy party for us?” my mother asks as I continue to read, unable to believe what I’m seeing. “Well, I called Liz, the one who runs the sex toy part of the business and told her about those fun greeting cards you came up with when you were high as a kite.”
I hand Sam the email when I’m finished reading it to let him take a look at it.
“Holy shit,” he whispers. “They want to hire you to develop your own line of greeting cards for all the Seduction and Snacks stores, worldwide.”
I nod in shock, unable to speak.
“Liz said you can literally put anything you want on those cards!” my mother explains. “Herpes? Great! Tiny penis jokes? Excellent! Pussy punch and twat taps, whatever those are? Go for it! The more horrible the better. Happy Valentine’s Day, honey, Mommy got you a job!”
Sam lets go of me so I can wrap my arms around my mother and give her a hug.
“I love you, Mom. You’re insane, but I love you. Thank you for doing this,” I tell her as she squeezes me back.
“Well, I didn’t do it all for you. Your father and I love having you stay with us, but we need our empty house back. Now that I know he’s not cheating on me, and now that he’s been studying up on Sam’s dirty books, we’ve got some catching up to do,” she divulges as I pull out of her embrace.
“Jesus, woman, we’re caught up! And stop telling people about the books. Everyone will think I’m a gay for reading them,” my father complains.
“Oh! That reminds me,” I tell Sam with a smile, moving to the side table in the room and opening the top drawer to pull out the present I stuck inside earlier today.
I hand him the box, wrapped in red paper with little pink hearts all over it. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
He takes the present and quickly unwraps it, laughing when he sees what’s inside.
“Awwww, you got me a Kindle!”
“I even loaded it up with all of those author’s books you carried around with you before my dad stole them,” I tell him.
“They didn’t even have any pictures in them. What a waste,” my dad grumbles.
“Alright, everyone sit down so we can finally eat!” my mom orders. “We can wedding plan while you’re stuffing your faces.”
The scraping of chairs and the low hum of conversation fills the room as Sam pulls me away from the madness and into the doorway.
“I hope all of this was okay. You know, being sneaky with the ring and doing this in front of your family,” he says softly. “Being alone for most of my life, I’ve never been very good at voicing my feelings, or hell, even showing them. But you make me want to wear my heart on my sleeve, Noel.”
I wrap my arms around his shoulders and smile up at him, the tears beginning to fall all over again.
“So, you’re saying you have a heart-on for me?” I ask with a laugh in between the tears.
He grabs my hips and pulls my body up against his.
“Yes, yes I do,” he smiles. “Always and forever.”
I rest my head on his chest, right over his heart and smile.
“Let the wedding planning commence,” I tell him softly.
“God help us all,” he laughs.
The End…for now.
Acknowledgements
As always, the biggest THANK YOU in the world to my beta readers, Michelle Kannan and Stephanie Johnson. Thank you for always being okay with getting one chapter at a time and thank you for not kicking my ass when I take too long to send you the next chapter. I love both your faces!
Thank you to Scheva Hurm for bidding in an auction at the A Christmas Prayer for Patty event and winning the shittiest prize ever of having a character named after you in one of my books. Sorry I made you kind of a slut, but at least you got to be sarcastic and have sex with a hot Marine, so there’s that.
Without my awesome readers, Cupid Has a Heart-On would never have happened. Thank you so much for loving the crazy Holiday family in The Stocking Was Hung and demanding more from these idiots!
Thank you to my husband for convincing me that using the word moist in the title might not be a wise decision, and for coming up with something much better and awesomely punny.
Last, but not least, thank you to my Backdoor Comedy Club ladies – Meghan Quinn, Debra Anastasia, Helena Hunting and Katherine Stevens. You ladies make me strive to be funnier than you, which is damn near impossible, but at least it gives me something to live for and, like, goals and shit. Also, thank you for letting me make fun of you in this book. I know you didn’t really have a choice, but let’s all pretend you did so this doesn’t get awkward.
Tara Sivec, Cupid Has a Heart-On