De Turkey and De Law by Zora Neale Hurston
You mean its right _now_. (looks up at sun to tell time) Lemme go git
ready to be at de trial--cause I'm sho going to be there and I ain't
goin' to bite my tongue neither.
SISTER THOMAS
I done went and crapped a mess of collard greens for supper--I better
go put em on--cause Lawd knows when we goin' to git outa there--and my
husband is one of them dats gointer eat don't keer whut happen. I bet
if Judgment day was to happen tomorrow, he'd speck I orter fix him a
bucket to carry long.
(She moves to exit right)
SISTER TAYLOR
All men favors they guts, chile. But whut you think of all dis mess
they got going on round here?
SISTER THOMAS
I just think its a sin and a shame before de livin justice de way dese
Baptis' niggers is runnin' round here carryin' on.
SISTER TAYLOR
Oh they been puttin out they brags ever since Sat'day night bout whut
they gointer do to Jim. They thinks they runs this town. They tell me
Rev. Singleton preached a sermon on it yesterday.
SISTER THOMAS
Lawd help us! He can't preach and he look like 10c worth of have-mercy,
let lone gittin' up dare tryin' to throw slams at us. Now all Elder
Sims done was to explain to us our rights--Whut you think bout Joe
Clarke running round here takin' up for those ole Baptist niggers?
SISTER TAYLOR
De puzzle-gut rascal--we oughter have him up in conference and put him
out de Meth'dis' faith. He don't blong in there--Wanta run dat boy
outa town for nothin'.
SISTER THOMAS
But we all know how come he so hot to law Jim outa town--hits to dig
de foundation out from under Elder Sims--
SISTER TAYLOR
What he wanta do dat for?
SISTER THOMAS
Cause he wants to be a God-knows-it-all an' a God-do-it-all and Simms
is de onliest one in this town whut will buck up to him.
(Enter Sister Jones, walking leisurely)
SISTER JONES
Hello Hoyt, Hello Lucy.
SISTER TAYLOR
Goin' to de meetin'?
SISTER JONES
Done got my clothes on de line and I'm bound to be dere--
SISTER THOMAS
Gointer testify for Jim?
SISTER JONES
Naw. I reckon--Don't make much difference to me which way de drop
fall--Taint neither one of 'em much good.
SISTER TAYLOR
I know it. I know it, Ida. But dat ain't de point. De crow we wants to
pick is, is we gointer set still and let dese Baptist tell us when to
plant and when to pluck up?
SISTER JONES
Dat _is_ something to think about when you come to think about it.
(starts to move on) Guess I better go ahead--See y'all later and tell
you straighter. (Enter Elder Simms right, walking fast, Bible under
his arm, almost collides with Mrs. Jones. She nods and smiles and
exits.)
ELDER SIMMS
How you do, Sister Taylor, Sister Thomas.
BOTH
Good evenin', Elder
SIMMS
Sho is a hot day
SISTER TAYLOR
Yeah, de bear is walkin' de earth lak a natural man.
SISTER THOMAS
Reverend, look like you headed de wrong way. It's almost time for de
trial and youse all de dependence we got.
ELDER SIMMS
I know it. I'm trying to find de Marshall so we kin go after Jim. I
wants a chance to talk wid him a minute before court sits.
SISTER TAYLOR
Y'think he'll come clear?
ELDER SIMMS
(proudly) I _know_ it! (shakes the Bible) I'm going to law 'em from
Genesis to Revelation.
SISTER THOMAS
Give it to 'em, Elder. Wear 'em out!
ELDER SIMMS
We'se liable to have a new Mayor when all dis dust settle. Well, I
better scuffle on down de road.
(Exit Sims left)
SISTER THOMAS
Lord, lemme gwan home and put dese greens on. (looks off stage left)
Here come Mayor Clark now, wid his belly settin' out in front of him
like a cow-catcher. His name oughter be Mayor Belly.
SISTER TAYLOR
(akimbo) Jus' look at him! Trying to look like a jigadier Breneral.
(Enter Clarke hot and perspiring. They look at him coldly.)
CLARKE
I God, de bear got me! (silence for a moment) How y'all feelin'
ladies?
SISTER TAYLOR
Brother Mayor, I ain't one of these folks dat bite my tongue and bust
my gall--Whuts inside got to come out! I can't see to my rest why you
cloakin' in wid dese Baptist buzzards ginst yo' own Church.
MAYOR CLARKE
I ain't cloakin' in wid _none_. I'm de Mayor of dis whole town.
I stands for de right and against de wrong. I don't keer who it kill
or cure.
SISTER THOMAS
You think it's right to be runnin' dat boy off for nothin?
MAYOR CLARKE
I God! You call knockin' a man in de head wid a mule bone nothin'?
'Nother thing--I done missed nine of my best-layin' hens. I ain't
sayin' Jim got 'em--but different people has told me he buries a
powerful lot of feathers in his back yard. I God, I'm a ruint man! (He
starts towards the right exit, but Lum Rogers enters right.) I God,
Lum, I been lookin' for you all day. It's almost three o'clock. (hands
him a key from his ring) Take dis key and go fetch Jim Weston on to de
church.
LUM
Have you got yo' gavel from de lodge-room?
CLARKE
I God, that's right, Lum. I'll go get it from de lodge room whilst you
go git de bone an' de prisoner. Hurry up! You walk like dead lice
droppin' off you! (He exits right while Lum crosses stage towards
left)
SISTER TAYLOR
Lum, Elder Simms been huntin' you--he's gone on down bout de barn.
(She gestures.)
LUM
I reckon I'll overtake him. (Exit left)
SISTER THOMAS
I better go put dese greens on--my husband will kill me if he don't
find no supper ready. Here come Mrs. Blunt. She oughter feel like a
penny's worth of have-mercy wid all dis stink behind her daughter.
SISTER TAYLOR
Chile, some folks don't keer. They don't raise they chillen, they
drags 'em up. God knows if dat Daisy was mine, I'd throw her down and
put a hundred lashes on her back wid a plow-line. Here she come in de
store Sat'day night (acts coy and coquettish, burlesques Daisy's walk)
a wringing and a twisting!
(Enter Mrs. Blunt left.)
MRS. BLUNT
How y'all sisters?
SISTER THOMAS
Very well, Miz Blunt, how you?
MRS. BLUNT
Oh so-so.
SISTER TAYLOR
I'm kickin' but not high.
MRS. BLUNT
Well, thank God you still on prayin' ground and in a Bible
Country--Me, I ain't many today. De niggers got my Daisy's name all
mixed up in diss mess.
SISTER TAYLOR
You musn't mind dat, Sister Blunt. People just _will_ talk. They's
talkin' in New York and they's talkin' in Georgy and they's talkin' in
Italy.
SISTER THOMAS
/>
Chile, if you talk after niggers they'll have you in de graveyard or
in Chattahoochee one. You can't pay no tention to talk.
MRS. BLUNT
Well, I know one thing--de man or woman, chick or child, grizzly or
gray that tells me to my face anything wrong bout _my_ chile--I'm
going to take _my_ fist (rolls up right sleeve and gestures with right
fist) and knock they teeth down they throat. (She looks ferocious.)
Cause y'll know I raised my Daisy right round my feet till I let her
go up north last year wid them white folks. I'd ruther her to be in de
white folks kitchen than walkin' de streets like some of dese girls
round here. If I do say so, I done raised a lady. She can't help it if
all dese men get stuck on her.
SISTER TAYLOR
You'se telling de truth, Sister Blunt--that's what I always say--Don't
confidence dese niggers, do they'll sho put you in de street.
SISTER THOMAS
Naw indeed. Never syndicate wid niggers--do--they will distriminate
you. They'll be an _anybody_. You goin to de trial, ain't you?
MRS. BLUNT
Just as sho as you snore, and they better leave Daisy's name outer dis
too. I done told her and told her to come straight home from her work.
Naw, she had to stop by dat store and skin her gums back wid dem
trashy niggers. She better not leave them white [Corrected missing
space.] folks today to come praipsin over here scornin her name all up
wid dis nigger mess--do, I'll kill her. No daughter of mine ain't
going to do as she please long as she live under de sound of my voice.
(She crosses to right.)
SISTER THOMAS
That's right, Sister Blunt--I glory in yo' spunk. Lord, I better go
put on my supper. (As Mrs. Blunt exits right, Rev. Singletary enters
left with Dave and Deacon Lindsay and Sister Lewis. Very hostile
glances from Sisters Thomas and Taylor towards the others.
ELDER SINGLETARY
Good evening, folks.
(Sister Thomas and Sister Taylor just grunt. Sister Thomas moves a
step or two towards exit. Flirts her skirts and exits.)
LINDSAY
(Angrily) Whuts de matter, y'all? Cat got yo' tongue?
SISTER TAYLOR
More matter than you kin scatter all over Cincinnatti.
LINDSAY
Go head on, Lucy Taylor, go head on. You know a very little of yo'
sugar sweetens my coffee. Go head on. Everytime you lift yo' arm you
smell like a nest of yellow hammers.
SISTER TAYLOR
Go head on yo'self. Yo' head look like it done wore out three
bodies--talking bout _me_ smelling--you smell lak a nest of grand
daddies yo'self.
LINDSAY
Aw, rack on down de road, 'oman. Ah don't wantuh change words wid yuh.
You'se too ugly.
MRS. TAYLOR
You ain't nobody's pretty baby yo'self. You so ugly I betcha yo' wife
have to spread uh sheet over yo' head tuh let sleep slip up on yuh.
LINDSAY
(Threatening) You better git 'way from me while you able. I done tole
you I don't wants break a mouth wid you. It's a whole heap better tuh
walk off on yo own legs than it is to be toted off. I'm tired of yo'
achin round here. You fool wid me now an' I'll knock you into doll
rags, Tony or no Tony.
SISTER TAYLOR
(jumping up in his face) Hit me! Hit me! I dare you tuh hit me. If you
take dat dare you'll steal a hawg an' eat his hair.
LINDSAY
Lemme gwan down to dat church befo' you make me stomp you.
(He exits right.)
SISTER TAYLOR
You mean you'll _git_ stomped. Ahm going to de trial too. De nex trial
gointer be _me_ for kickin some uh you Baptis niggers around.
(A great noise is heard off stage left. The angry and jeering voices
of children. Mrs. Taylor looks off left and takes a step or two
towards left exit as the noise comes nearer.)
VOICE OF ONE CHILD
Tell her! Tell her! Turn her up and smell her. Yo' mama ain't got
nothin to do wid me.
SISTER TAYLOR
(Hollering off left) You lil Baptis haitians, leave them chillun
alone. If you don't, you better!
(Enter about 10 chidren struggling and wrestling in a bunch. Mrs.
Taylor looks about on the ground for a stick to strike the children
with.)
VOICE OF CHILD IN CROWD
Hey! Hey! He's skeered tuh knock it off. Coward!
SISTER TAYLOR
If y'all don't git on home!
SASSY LITTLE GIRL
(Standing akimbo) I know you better not touch me, do my mama will tend
to you.
SISTER TAYLOR
(Making as if to strike her) Shet up, you nasty lil heifer, sassing
me! You ain't half raised.
(The little girl shakes herself at Mrs. Taylor and is joined by two or
three others.)
SISTER TAYLOR
(Walking towards right exit) I'm going on down to de church an' tell
yo' mammy. But she ain't been half raised herself. (She exits right
with several children making faces behind her.)
A BOY
(to sassy girl) Aw haw! Y'all ol' Baptis ain't got no book case in yo'
church. We went there one day an' I saw uh soda cracker box settin' up
in de corner so I set down on it. (pointing at sassy girl) Know whut
ole Mary Ella say? (jeering laughter) Willie, you git up off our
library! Haw! Haw!
MARY ELLA
Y'all ole Meth'dis' ain't got no window panes in yo' ole church.
A GIRL
(Takes center of stage and hands akimbo shakes her hips.) I don't keer
whut y'allsay. I'm a Methdis' bred an' uh Methdis' born an' when I'm
dead there'll be uh Methdis' gone.
MARY ELLA
(snaps fingers under other girl's nose and starts singing. Several
join her.)
Oh Baptis, Baptis is my name
My name's written on high
I got my lick in de Baptis church
Gointer eat up de Methdis pie
(the Methodist children jeer and make faces. The Baptist camp make
faces back for a full minute there is silence while each camp tries to
outdo the other in face making. The Baptist makes the last face.
METHODIST BOY
Come on, less us don't notice em. Less gwan down to de church an' hear
de trial.
MARY ELLA
Y'all ain't the onliest ones kin go. We goin' too.
WILLIE
Aw Haw! Copy cats! (Makes face) Dat's right, follow on behind us lak
uh puppy dog tail. (They start walking toward right exit switching
their clothes behind.)
(Baptist children stage a rush and struggle to get in front of the
methodists. They finally succeed in flinging some of the Methodist
children to the ground and some behind them and walk towards right
exit haughtily switching their clothes.)
WILLIE
(whispers to his crowd) Less go round by Mosely's lot and beat 'em
there!
OTHERS
All right!
WILLIE
(Yelling to Baptists) We wouldn't walk behind no ole Baptists! (The
Methodists turn and walk off towards left exit switching their clothes
as the Baptists are doing.)
/> _SLOW CURTAIN_
ACT II
SCENE II
SETTING: Interior of Macedonia Baptist Church, a rectangular room,
windows on each side, two "Amen Corners", pulpit with a plush cover
with heavy fringe, practical door in pulpit, practical door in front
of church, two oil brackets with reflectors on each side wall with
lamps missing all but one, one big oil lamp in center.
ACTION: At the rise, church is about full. A buzz and hum fills the
church. Voices of children angry and jeering heard from the street.
The church bell begins to toll for death. Everybody looks shocked.
SISTER LEWIS
Lawd! Is Dave done died from dat lick?
SISTER THOMAS
(to her husband) Walter, go see. (He gets up and starts down the aisle
to front door. Enter Deacon Hambo by front door.)
WALTER
Who dead?[Note: correction to e]
HAMBO
(laughing) Nobody--jus' tollin' de bell for dat Meth'dis gopher dat's
gointer be long long gone after dis trial. (laughter from the Baptist
side)
WALTER
Y'all sho thinks you runs dis town, dontcher? But Elder Simms'll show
you somethin' t'day. If he don't, God's uh gopher.
HAMBO
He can't show us nothin' cause he don't know nothin' hisself.
WALTER
He got mo' book-learnin' than Rev. Singletary got.
HAMBO
He mought be unletter-learnt, but he kin drive over Sims like a
road plow.
METHODIST CHORUS
Aw, naw! Dat's a lie!
(Enter Rev. Simms by front door with open Bible in hand. A murmur of
applause arises on the Methodist side, grunts on the Baptist side.
Immediately behind him comes Lum Boger leading Jim Weston. They parade
up to the right Amen Corner and seat themselves on the same bench, Jim
between the Marshall and the preacher. A great rooster crowing and hen
cackling arises on the Baptist side. Jim Weston jumps angrily to his
feet.)
(Enter by front door Rev. Singletary and Dave. Dave's head is
bandaged, but he walks firmly and seems not ill at all. They sit in
the left Amen Corner. Jeering grunts from the Methodist side.)
SISTER THOMAS
Look at ol' Dave trying to make out he's hurt.
LIGE
Everybody know uh Baptis' head is hardern uh rock. Look like they'd be
skeered tuh go in swimmin', do they heads would drown 'em. (general
laughter on Methodist side)
(Enter Bro. Nixon with his jumper jacket on his arm and climbs over
the knees of a bench full of people and finds seat against the wall
directly beneath empty lamp bracket. He looks around for some place to
dispose of his coat. Sees the lamp-bracket and hangs up the coat,
hitches up his pants and sits down.)
SISTER LEWIS
(rising and glaring at Nixon) Shank Nixon, you take yo' lousy coat
down off these sacred walls. Ain't you Methdis' niggers got no
gumption in de house of Wash-up!
(Nixon mocks her by standing akimbo and shaking himself like a woman.
General laughter. He prepares to resume his seat but looks over and
sees Deacon Hambo on his feet, and glaring angrily at him. He quickly
reaches up and takes the coat down and folds it across his knees.)
(Sister Taylor looks very pointedly at Sister Lewis then takes a dip
of snuff and looks sneering at Lewis again.)
SISTER TAYLOR
Some folks is a whole lot more keerful bout a louse in de church than
[Note: corrected missing space] they is in they house. (Looks
pointedly at Sister Lewis.)
SISTER LEWIS
(bustling) Whut you gazin' at me for? Wid your pop-eyes looking like
skirt ginny-nuts.
SISTER TAYLOR
I hate to tell you whut yo' mouf looks like. I sho do you and soap and
soap and water musta had some words.
SISTER LEWIS
Talkin' bout other folks being dirty--yo' young 'uns must be sleep in
they draws cause you kin smell 'em a mile down de road.
SISTER TAYLOR
Taint no lice on 'em though.
SISTER LEWIS
You got just as many bed-bugs and chinches as anybody else, don't come
trying to hand me dat rough package bout yo' house so clean.
SISTER TAYLOR
Yeah, but I done seen de bed-bugs munchin' out yo' house in de
mornin', keepin' step just like soldiers drillin'. An' you got so many
lice I seen em on de dish-rag. One day you tried to pick up de
ready to be at de trial--cause I'm sho going to be there and I ain't
goin' to bite my tongue neither.
SISTER THOMAS
I done went and crapped a mess of collard greens for supper--I better
go put em on--cause Lawd knows when we goin' to git outa there--and my
husband is one of them dats gointer eat don't keer whut happen. I bet
if Judgment day was to happen tomorrow, he'd speck I orter fix him a
bucket to carry long.
(She moves to exit right)
SISTER TAYLOR
All men favors they guts, chile. But whut you think of all dis mess
they got going on round here?
SISTER THOMAS
I just think its a sin and a shame before de livin justice de way dese
Baptis' niggers is runnin' round here carryin' on.
SISTER TAYLOR
Oh they been puttin out they brags ever since Sat'day night bout whut
they gointer do to Jim. They thinks they runs this town. They tell me
Rev. Singleton preached a sermon on it yesterday.
SISTER THOMAS
Lawd help us! He can't preach and he look like 10c worth of have-mercy,
let lone gittin' up dare tryin' to throw slams at us. Now all Elder
Sims done was to explain to us our rights--Whut you think bout Joe
Clarke running round here takin' up for those ole Baptist niggers?
SISTER TAYLOR
De puzzle-gut rascal--we oughter have him up in conference and put him
out de Meth'dis' faith. He don't blong in there--Wanta run dat boy
outa town for nothin'.
SISTER THOMAS
But we all know how come he so hot to law Jim outa town--hits to dig
de foundation out from under Elder Sims--
SISTER TAYLOR
What he wanta do dat for?
SISTER THOMAS
Cause he wants to be a God-knows-it-all an' a God-do-it-all and Simms
is de onliest one in this town whut will buck up to him.
(Enter Sister Jones, walking leisurely)
SISTER JONES
Hello Hoyt, Hello Lucy.
SISTER TAYLOR
Goin' to de meetin'?
SISTER JONES
Done got my clothes on de line and I'm bound to be dere--
SISTER THOMAS
Gointer testify for Jim?
SISTER JONES
Naw. I reckon--Don't make much difference to me which way de drop
fall--Taint neither one of 'em much good.
SISTER TAYLOR
I know it. I know it, Ida. But dat ain't de point. De crow we wants to
pick is, is we gointer set still and let dese Baptist tell us when to
plant and when to pluck up?
SISTER JONES
Dat _is_ something to think about when you come to think about it.
(starts to move on) Guess I better go ahead--See y'all later and tell
you straighter. (Enter Elder Simms right, walking fast, Bible under
his arm, almost collides with Mrs. Jones. She nods and smiles and
exits.)
ELDER SIMMS
How you do, Sister Taylor, Sister Thomas.
BOTH
Good evenin', Elder
SIMMS
Sho is a hot day
SISTER TAYLOR
Yeah, de bear is walkin' de earth lak a natural man.
SISTER THOMAS
Reverend, look like you headed de wrong way. It's almost time for de
trial and youse all de dependence we got.
ELDER SIMMS
I know it. I'm trying to find de Marshall so we kin go after Jim. I
wants a chance to talk wid him a minute before court sits.
SISTER TAYLOR
Y'think he'll come clear?
ELDER SIMMS
(proudly) I _know_ it! (shakes the Bible) I'm going to law 'em from
Genesis to Revelation.
SISTER THOMAS
Give it to 'em, Elder. Wear 'em out!
ELDER SIMMS
We'se liable to have a new Mayor when all dis dust settle. Well, I
better scuffle on down de road.
(Exit Sims left)
SISTER THOMAS
Lord, lemme gwan home and put dese greens on. (looks off stage left)
Here come Mayor Clark now, wid his belly settin' out in front of him
like a cow-catcher. His name oughter be Mayor Belly.
SISTER TAYLOR
(akimbo) Jus' look at him! Trying to look like a jigadier Breneral.
(Enter Clarke hot and perspiring. They look at him coldly.)
CLARKE
I God, de bear got me! (silence for a moment) How y'all feelin'
ladies?
SISTER TAYLOR
Brother Mayor, I ain't one of these folks dat bite my tongue and bust
my gall--Whuts inside got to come out! I can't see to my rest why you
cloakin' in wid dese Baptist buzzards ginst yo' own Church.
MAYOR CLARKE
I ain't cloakin' in wid _none_. I'm de Mayor of dis whole town.
I stands for de right and against de wrong. I don't keer who it kill
or cure.
SISTER THOMAS
You think it's right to be runnin' dat boy off for nothin?
MAYOR CLARKE
I God! You call knockin' a man in de head wid a mule bone nothin'?
'Nother thing--I done missed nine of my best-layin' hens. I ain't
sayin' Jim got 'em--but different people has told me he buries a
powerful lot of feathers in his back yard. I God, I'm a ruint man! (He
starts towards the right exit, but Lum Rogers enters right.) I God,
Lum, I been lookin' for you all day. It's almost three o'clock. (hands
him a key from his ring) Take dis key and go fetch Jim Weston on to de
church.
LUM
Have you got yo' gavel from de lodge-room?
CLARKE
I God, that's right, Lum. I'll go get it from de lodge room whilst you
go git de bone an' de prisoner. Hurry up! You walk like dead lice
droppin' off you! (He exits right while Lum crosses stage towards
left)
SISTER TAYLOR
Lum, Elder Simms been huntin' you--he's gone on down bout de barn.
(She gestures.)
LUM
I reckon I'll overtake him. (Exit left)
SISTER THOMAS
I better go put dese greens on--my husband will kill me if he don't
find no supper ready. Here come Mrs. Blunt. She oughter feel like a
penny's worth of have-mercy wid all dis stink behind her daughter.
SISTER TAYLOR
Chile, some folks don't keer. They don't raise they chillen, they
drags 'em up. God knows if dat Daisy was mine, I'd throw her down and
put a hundred lashes on her back wid a plow-line. Here she come in de
store Sat'day night (acts coy and coquettish, burlesques Daisy's walk)
a wringing and a twisting!
(Enter Mrs. Blunt left.)
MRS. BLUNT
How y'all sisters?
SISTER THOMAS
Very well, Miz Blunt, how you?
MRS. BLUNT
Oh so-so.
SISTER TAYLOR
I'm kickin' but not high.
MRS. BLUNT
Well, thank God you still on prayin' ground and in a Bible
Country--Me, I ain't many today. De niggers got my Daisy's name all
mixed up in diss mess.
SISTER TAYLOR
You musn't mind dat, Sister Blunt. People just _will_ talk. They's
talkin' in New York and they's talkin' in Georgy and they's talkin' in
Italy.
SISTER THOMAS
Chile, if you talk after niggers they'll have you in de graveyard or
in Chattahoochee one. You can't pay no tention to talk.
MRS. BLUNT
Well, I know one thing--de man or woman, chick or child, grizzly or
gray that tells me to my face anything wrong bout _my_ chile--I'm
going to take _my_ fist (rolls up right sleeve and gestures with right
fist) and knock they teeth down they throat. (She looks ferocious.)
Cause y'll know I raised my Daisy right round my feet till I let her
go up north last year wid them white folks. I'd ruther her to be in de
white folks kitchen than walkin' de streets like some of dese girls
round here. If I do say so, I done raised a lady. She can't help it if
all dese men get stuck on her.
SISTER TAYLOR
You'se telling de truth, Sister Blunt--that's what I always say--Don't
confidence dese niggers, do they'll sho put you in de street.
SISTER THOMAS
Naw indeed. Never syndicate wid niggers--do--they will distriminate
you. They'll be an _anybody_. You goin to de trial, ain't you?
MRS. BLUNT
Just as sho as you snore, and they better leave Daisy's name outer dis
too. I done told her and told her to come straight home from her work.
Naw, she had to stop by dat store and skin her gums back wid dem
trashy niggers. She better not leave them white [Corrected missing
space.] folks today to come praipsin over here scornin her name all up
wid dis nigger mess--do, I'll kill her. No daughter of mine ain't
going to do as she please long as she live under de sound of my voice.
(She crosses to right.)
SISTER THOMAS
That's right, Sister Blunt--I glory in yo' spunk. Lord, I better go
put on my supper. (As Mrs. Blunt exits right, Rev. Singletary enters
left with Dave and Deacon Lindsay and Sister Lewis. Very hostile
glances from Sisters Thomas and Taylor towards the others.
ELDER SINGLETARY
Good evening, folks.
(Sister Thomas and Sister Taylor just grunt. Sister Thomas moves a
step or two towards exit. Flirts her skirts and exits.)
LINDSAY
(Angrily) Whuts de matter, y'all? Cat got yo' tongue?
SISTER TAYLOR
More matter than you kin scatter all over Cincinnatti.
LINDSAY
Go head on, Lucy Taylor, go head on. You know a very little of yo'
sugar sweetens my coffee. Go head on. Everytime you lift yo' arm you
smell like a nest of yellow hammers.
SISTER TAYLOR
Go head on yo'self. Yo' head look like it done wore out three
bodies--talking bout _me_ smelling--you smell lak a nest of grand
daddies yo'self.
LINDSAY
Aw, rack on down de road, 'oman. Ah don't wantuh change words wid yuh.
You'se too ugly.
MRS. TAYLOR
You ain't nobody's pretty baby yo'self. You so ugly I betcha yo' wife
have to spread uh sheet over yo' head tuh let sleep slip up on yuh.
LINDSAY
(Threatening) You better git 'way from me while you able. I done tole
you I don't wants break a mouth wid you. It's a whole heap better tuh
walk off on yo own legs than it is to be toted off. I'm tired of yo'
achin round here. You fool wid me now an' I'll knock you into doll
rags, Tony or no Tony.
SISTER TAYLOR
(jumping up in his face) Hit me! Hit me! I dare you tuh hit me. If you
take dat dare you'll steal a hawg an' eat his hair.
LINDSAY
Lemme gwan down to dat church befo' you make me stomp you.
(He exits right.)
SISTER TAYLOR
You mean you'll _git_ stomped. Ahm going to de trial too. De nex trial
gointer be _me_ for kickin some uh you Baptis niggers around.
(A great noise is heard off stage left. The angry and jeering voices
of children. Mrs. Taylor looks off left and takes a step or two
towards left exit as the noise comes nearer.)
VOICE OF ONE CHILD
Tell her! Tell her! Turn her up and smell her. Yo' mama ain't got
nothin to do wid me.
SISTER TAYLOR
(Hollering off left) You lil Baptis haitians, leave them chillun
alone. If you don't, you better!
(Enter about 10 chidren struggling and wrestling in a bunch. Mrs.
Taylor looks about on the ground for a stick to strike the children
with.)
VOICE OF CHILD IN CROWD
Hey! Hey! He's skeered tuh knock it off. Coward!
SISTER TAYLOR
If y'all don't git on home!
SASSY LITTLE GIRL
(Standing akimbo) I know you better not touch me, do my mama will tend
to you.
SISTER TAYLOR
(Making as if to strike her) Shet up, you nasty lil heifer, sassing
me! You ain't half raised.
(The little girl shakes herself at Mrs. Taylor and is joined by two or
three others.)
SISTER TAYLOR
(Walking towards right exit) I'm going on down to de church an' tell
yo' mammy. But she ain't been half raised herself. (She exits right
with several children making faces behind her.)
A BOY
(to sassy girl) Aw haw! Y'all ol' Baptis ain't got no book case in yo'
church. We went there one day an' I saw uh soda cracker box settin' up
in de corner so I set down on it. (pointing at sassy girl) Know whut
ole Mary Ella say? (jeering laughter) Willie, you git up off our
library! Haw! Haw!
MARY ELLA
Y'all ole Meth'dis' ain't got no window panes in yo' ole church.
A GIRL
(Takes center of stage and hands akimbo shakes her hips.) I don't keer
whut y'allsay. I'm a Methdis' bred an' uh Methdis' born an' when I'm
dead there'll be uh Methdis' gone.
MARY ELLA
(snaps fingers under other girl's nose and starts singing. Several
join her.)
Oh Baptis, Baptis is my name
My name's written on high
I got my lick in de Baptis church
Gointer eat up de Methdis pie
(the Methodist children jeer and make faces. The Baptist camp make
faces back for a full minute there is silence while each camp tries to
outdo the other in face making. The Baptist makes the last face.
METHODIST BOY
Come on, less us don't notice em. Less gwan down to de church an' hear
de trial.
MARY ELLA
Y'all ain't the onliest ones kin go. We goin' too.
WILLIE
Aw Haw! Copy cats! (Makes face) Dat's right, follow on behind us lak
uh puppy dog tail. (They start walking toward right exit switching
their clothes behind.)
(Baptist children stage a rush and struggle to get in front of the
methodists. They finally succeed in flinging some of the Methodist
children to the ground and some behind them and walk towards right
exit haughtily switching their clothes.)
WILLIE
(whispers to his crowd) Less go round by Mosely's lot and beat 'em
there!
OTHERS
All right!
WILLIE
(Yelling to Baptists) We wouldn't walk behind no ole Baptists! (The
Methodists turn and walk off towards left exit switching their clothes
as the Baptists are doing.)
ACT II
SCENE II
SETTING: Interior of Macedonia Baptist Church, a rectangular room,
windows on each side, two "Amen Corners", pulpit with a plush cover
with heavy fringe, practical door in pulpit, practical door in front
of church, two oil brackets with reflectors on each side wall with
lamps missing all but one, one big oil lamp in center.
ACTION: At the rise, church is about full. A buzz and hum fills the
church. Voices of children angry and jeering heard from the street.
The church bell begins to toll for death. Everybody looks shocked.
SISTER LEWIS
Lawd! Is Dave done died from dat lick?
SISTER THOMAS
(to her husband) Walter, go see. (He gets up and starts down the aisle
to front door. Enter Deacon Hambo by front door.)
WALTER
Who dead?[Note: correction to e]
HAMBO
(laughing) Nobody--jus' tollin' de bell for dat Meth'dis gopher dat's
gointer be long long gone after dis trial. (laughter from the Baptist
side)
WALTER
Y'all sho thinks you runs dis town, dontcher? But Elder Simms'll show
you somethin' t'day. If he don't, God's uh gopher.
HAMBO
He can't show us nothin' cause he don't know nothin' hisself.
WALTER
He got mo' book-learnin' than Rev. Singletary got.
HAMBO
He mought be unletter-learnt, but he kin drive over Sims like a
road plow.
METHODIST CHORUS
Aw, naw! Dat's a lie!
(Enter Rev. Simms by front door with open Bible in hand. A murmur of
applause arises on the Methodist side, grunts on the Baptist side.
Immediately behind him comes Lum Boger leading Jim Weston. They parade
up to the right Amen Corner and seat themselves on the same bench, Jim
between the Marshall and the preacher. A great rooster crowing and hen
cackling arises on the Baptist side. Jim Weston jumps angrily to his
feet.)
(Enter by front door Rev. Singletary and Dave. Dave's head is
bandaged, but he walks firmly and seems not ill at all. They sit in
the left Amen Corner. Jeering grunts from the Methodist side.)
SISTER THOMAS
Look at ol' Dave trying to make out he's hurt.
LIGE
Everybody know uh Baptis' head is hardern uh rock. Look like they'd be
skeered tuh go in swimmin', do they heads would drown 'em. (general
laughter on Methodist side)
(Enter Bro. Nixon with his jumper jacket on his arm and climbs over
the knees of a bench full of people and finds seat against the wall
directly beneath empty lamp bracket. He looks around for some place to
dispose of his coat. Sees the lamp-bracket and hangs up the coat,
hitches up his pants and sits down.)
SISTER LEWIS
(rising and glaring at Nixon) Shank Nixon, you take yo' lousy coat
down off these sacred walls. Ain't you Methdis' niggers got no
gumption in de house of Wash-up!
(Nixon mocks her by standing akimbo and shaking himself like a woman.
General laughter. He prepares to resume his seat but looks over and
sees Deacon Hambo on his feet, and glaring angrily at him. He quickly
reaches up and takes the coat down and folds it across his knees.)
(Sister Taylor looks very pointedly at Sister Lewis then takes a dip
of snuff and looks sneering at Lewis again.)
SISTER TAYLOR
Some folks is a whole lot more keerful bout a louse in de church than
[Note: corrected missing space] they is in they house. (Looks
pointedly at Sister Lewis.)
SISTER LEWIS
(bustling) Whut you gazin' at me for? Wid your pop-eyes looking like
skirt ginny-nuts.
SISTER TAYLOR
I hate to tell you whut yo' mouf looks like. I sho do you and soap and
soap and water musta had some words.
SISTER LEWIS
Talkin' bout other folks being dirty--yo' young 'uns must be sleep in
they draws cause you kin smell 'em a mile down de road.
SISTER TAYLOR
Taint no lice on 'em though.
SISTER LEWIS
You got just as many bed-bugs and chinches as anybody else, don't come
trying to hand me dat rough package bout yo' house so clean.
SISTER TAYLOR
Yeah, but I done seen de bed-bugs munchin' out yo' house in de
mornin', keepin' step just like soldiers drillin'. An' you got so many
lice I seen em on de dish-rag. One day you tried to pick up de