Death Doesn't Bargain by Sherrilyn Kenyon
So go on and bring to me your worst if you must, and I will deliver unto you my very best.
That was Kalder in every way. Like her father and her brother. Life and enemies had done their best to tear him down and leave him heartless.
Instead, he’d chosen to soldier on past the pain, and while withdrawn from others so as to protect himself, he didn’t lash out at the world. Lash out at strangers who were innocent.
He was a good man. In spite of it all.
Nay, in spite of them all, he’d risen above their cruelty.
And as he kissed her so that she could breathe she knew just how much she wanted him. Even though it was foolish. Even though there was no hope of any future with him.
She wanted to share with him what she’d never shared with anyone else.
Don’t be stupid, girl!
Her thoughts were scandalous!
More than that, they were sinful. And yet she’d never felt like this about anyone else. She didn’t know if she ever would again. Of all the men she’d known over the years, not a single one had ever made her blood quicken with nothing more than a coy look. Nothing more than the brush of his hand.
And Kalder did so much more than that.
Especially when he paused next to an old column where a section had been hollowed out. With a gentle hand, he pulled her down below and into a glorious room that must have been a grand hall at one time.
“What is this?”
“The remains of the first palace.” He put his hands at her waist so that he could guide her into a cubbyhole that was cushioned by a spongy type of vegetation. “This is where I used to come to read.”
Surprised, she turned to study his luminescent eyes. They were silver in color now, with a dark, stormy blue outline. Unbelievably beautiful. “You look so different like this.”
“Hideous, you mean.”
“Nay. Like an angel.” She kissed him for a breath of air.
Kalder savored the feeling of her lips on his. Of her tongue brushing lightly against his teeth. Just as he reveled in the sensation of her in his arms. And the one thing he loved most about being underwater—her male clothing clung to her soft feminine curves and became completely sheer. The white linen was so fine that it revealed more than it covered and allowed him to see every bit of her charms. She’d be horrified if she knew how bare she was to his gaze.
How hungry and rock hard it made him that he could see the perfect outline of her areolae. Of the dark triangle of hair at the juncture of her thighs that kept drawing his attention to fantasies he really shouldn’t be thinking about.
This was a terrible idea.
And at the same time he wanted nothing more than to peel her clothes off and run his hands over every inch of her lush, supple skin. Indeed, her dark chestnut hair looked sublime fanning out in the water. Like a dark halo that framed her beautiful face.
He couldn’t think straight as he stared at her. She looked like some watery fey creature come to capture him, body and soul, and at the moment, he couldn’t imagine anything better than being ensnared by her. Indeed, he’d gladly consign himself over to her for all eternity.
Body and soul.
Kalder watched as she slowly explored the room with bold fingers, while learning to swim. Her every movement a seductive dance of someone not quite at home in the water. Yet even so, she rolled her hips and moved her arms with the art of a practiced courtesan.
She was all fluid grace as she spun about in the water. The linen of her tunic flared out, showing him a bit of her stomach, while the white linen of her breeches continued to show him the darker hairs at the juncture of her thighs. And all he could think about was unbuttoning them and sliding his hand down so that he could stroke her. Watching her writhe to the rhythm of his fingers …
His body erupted into fire as he watched her. He needed her in a way that made him burn from the inside out.
She paused as she caught his gaze. Her face fell instantly. “Am I doing something wrong?”
He struggled for control. “Nay, lass. I like it. A lot more than I should.”
Her gaze darted down to the part of his body that the water made it impossible for him to hide. While his breeches were dark and therefore kept him covered better than hers did, there was no missing the size of the bulge that betrayed his hunger for her.
Even in the darkness, her cheeks glowed, and the enhanced color only made her eyes glisten. Worse, it made his cock jerk with a need he couldn’t control.
Kalder’s throat went dry. He fully expected her to stop or pull away.
Or slap him. Which he deserved.
Though he knew she couldn’t go far, given that she needed his breath to survive here.
But to his utter shock, she reached for him and pulled him closer.
She stopped just short of touching his mouth to hers. They hovered in the water barely a hand’s breadth apart.
Damn, how she looked wild and wonton there. Like some manifestation of his fantasies. Not real, but a fey creation sent to torment him worse than any of the horrors Vine had used against him.
He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything. And he knew all the reasons why he shouldn’t. All the reasons why he had to keep away from her.
She deserves better than you. She’s a creature of light and air.
You’re born of watery darkness.
And none of that mattered to him.
Cameron pulled his lips down for another breath. He moaned at the taste of her as every piece of him screamed out for more. She was unlike anyone else on this earth.
Above or below. Never had he met her equal.
Drunk with her sweet taste and unable to rein himself back from the edge of this, he dragged his lips from hers to her throat, half expecting her to protest or shove him away.
Praying she would slap him.
She didn’t. Instead, she cradled him with her body. Held him there as she sucked her breath in sharply. His head spinning, he buried his head between the deep valley of her breasts so that he could taste the creamy skin that tormented him. The salt of her skin blended with that of the ocean and burned his tongue. More than that, it whetted his appetite, making him demand more of her.
Cameron closed her eyes, savoring the sensation of Kalder’s tongue on her flesh. She knew she shouldn’t allow this—in her world, her reputation and purity were everything—but she didn’t want to stop him.
Not now. She was long past the age of childhood. Had her parents not died and had she not been forced into the role of playing a lad, she’d have married long ago and been settled with a husband. Most likely to a loveless match.
And while she wasn’t sure exactly what she felt for Kalder, she knew that she cared for him. Deeply.
Most of all, she knew in her heart that she wanted this moment.
With him, and no one else.
She couldn’t even imagine being with another man. She’d wanted him almost from the first moment they’d met and he’d scared her in the dark with his saucy walk and mysterious ways.
Determined to see it through, she pulled at his shirt until he shrugged it off. Her breath caught at the sight of his scarred chest. Of those sculpted muscles that teased and flexed as she ran her hands over his shoulders and down his arms to his clawed hands that were scarred from the countless fights he’d been in.
Her merman was a brawler, through and through.
“You’re beautiful.”
He shook his head in wonderment of her. “I’m not the one who’s beautiful, me phearse.”
“Aye, you are. More handsome than any ever born. In the sea or on the land.” She laced her hands through his hair and nibbled his lips.
Kalder groaned at the passion he tasted, amazed by it and by her. How he loved the way this woman kissed him. The way she looked at him as if he were the only man in the world where she was concerned. No one had ever made him feel the way she did.
As if he were special.
Like he mattered.
She wrapped her legs about his waist. “Tell me how to please you.”
Her boldness startled and pleased him. He loved the fact that she was so brazen and unabashed. “You do that just by being with me.”
She smiled. “Do I?”
He nodded.
Her smile widened as she rubbed herself against his swollen groin. He groaned at the feel of her there and imagined how much better she would feel if he’d had a chance to remove their breeches.
“Is there anything else I can do?”
“That’s a good start, me phearse.” He reached up and unlaced her tunic until her breasts were free.
Kalder held her close, while his heart raced madly with hunger.
How strange that the only place he’d ever felt at home was in her arms. And he knew in that moment that he’d follow her anywhere. Even to hell itself. She made him feel so warm and welcomed.
No one else had ever offered him so much by doing nothing more than smiling.
You’re free now. No longer bound to Thorn. You could take a wife and start over.
Marry her.
But he knew better than that. It wasn’t so simple.
Starting over was for other people. People who didn’t have a brutal past like his. Those who were normal. Those who lived on the land.
Besides, he knew nothing about Cameron. Not really.
Does it matter?
It could. Better than anyone, he knew that alliances played a large part of his family’s life—that they impacted the ship and her crew—and any decision he made would affect all of them. He had too many enemies gunning for him.
Not to mention that Cameron held the blood of Michael in her veins. Her brother was a Necrodemian. And that blood would pass to any child Cameron might have.
Any child that might be born to them. A creature of the land and sea.
Those children would have a higher calling that would give them no peace, whatsoever, from the worst creations the gods had ever spat out of hell. It would cause all of them to be hunted forever.
Generation after generation.
How could he think to pass on such a cursed legacy? It would be the worst sort of selfishness.
And yet even though he knew that about her, he couldn’t bring himself to let go and leave her. She was like some missing part of himself.
A vital part.
The best part.
Cameron watched Kalder’s features as he pulled back from their kiss to look down at her. He stared at her as if trying to memorize her face.
There was a dark, deep sadness in his glowing eyes. One even more intense than it’d been before.
“What is on your mind that you look as if the Second Coming is upon you?”
“Wishing that I was a simple human peasant who’d stumbled into your tavern for an ale. Do you think you’d have found me as alluring then?”
Her eyes twinkled with humor. “If I said nay, would you toss me aside?”
“Nay?”
She wrinkled her nose playfully. “Given that I would have assumed you were after me as a lad? I’d be a bit offended.”
Laughing, he ran his forefinger over the arch of her brow and studied her face as if he were trying to discern the truth. “And if I made sure you knew that I knew the truth of your gender?”
“Then the truth is that it wouldn’t have mattered. Peasant or king matters naught to me. All I see is the heart of the man.”
“And if I said that I had no heart?”
“I’d never believe that. I know you better, Mr. Dupree. I’ve seen your heart. Felt it the night you fought so hard and determined to save me from the demons what were determined to drag me to me doom.”
Kalder trembled at her words. He trembled at the warmth of her soft body contoured to the hardness of his own. Her stomach was feather soft against his erection. Her hands tender on his shoulders.
He stared into her ever-curious gaze and lost himself there. What would it be like to spend the rest of his life staring into those light, sea hazel eyes?
To hold her like this for decades?
And in this moment, he could imagine her plump with his child. See her warm and welcoming in his bed forever.
The thought both terrified and thrilled him.
How could he even think of allowing himself such a weakness? To curse their children so? Her brother would forbid such a thing. And what could he offer her really?
I’m nothing.
Everything he touched, he ruined.
Even now, he could see the day Muerig had died. Because of his neglect.
Even worse than his brother’s fate, he could see her being swept over the ship and ripped from his hands by their enemies, and all because he’d started to care for her. Because of his curse …
He wasn’t allowed to love. He knew that.
Yet how could he live without her?
You have to. Otherwise she’ll pay for your folly. And so will your children.
Kalder couldn’t bear to lose her again. Even now he could feel that day deep inside his soul. The winds had been fierce and cold. The water dark and choppy. He’d looked out across the waves, his heart sickened as he saw her vanish beneath the water, while he was helpless to stop it. Taken by enemies he couldn’t fight.
His soul was forever burdened by the unending grief and self-hatred that came from knowing the fault of it all was solely his own.
Just as it’d been the day Muerig had died because he’d failed to meet his brother on time.
“I will never again take any pleasure in me life. I will spend the rest of eternity paying penance for me stupidity.”
Cameron cupped his face with her hands, and her touch brought him back from his maudlin thoughts. Back to the only pleasure he’d known since the day his mother had killed him.
Her arms.
“Have I lost you? You look as if you’re far away, lost in your thoughts. Should I go and leave you to them?”
“Stay with me, Cameron.”
Stay with me forever.…
How he wished for the courage to say that last bit out loud. For the courage to keep her by his side.
But he couldn’t.
He didn’t dare. It wouldn’t be fair to her, and he couldn’t bear to be the reason for anything else bad happening to her.
May the gods help him, but if Vine did force him to choose between Cameron and his brother, Muerig’s goat was the guinea. He’d offer the bastard up without hesitation—he knew that now without a doubt—and that would be ruinous for them all.
She tightened her legs around his hips, then leaned up to kiss him blind with bliss.
Kalder let her taste roll over his senses as he lost himself to her completely. Forcing his thoughts away from anything except the need he had to sample her fully, he swam with her into a cavern where he pulled her from the water to a small sandy cove so that she could breathe on her own.
Amazed, she took a second to look around the darkened underwater cave while he gently peeled his remaining clothes off.
Until he returned to her side and laid her back against the moss-covered sand. But she didn’t pull away. Instead, she ran her hands over his body, timidly exploring every inch of him. Her innocent touch reached deep inside him, setting him free of his past and soothing him in a way nothing ever had. Especially when she bit her lip and touched the most private part of him for the first time.
Cameron felt her cheeks turn red hot as she cupped him in her hand and explored his cock with her fingers. He was so velvety hard. So different from her own body. And she delighted in the look of pleasure on his face.
Feeling more powerful than ever, she ran her hands through Kalder’s short, wet hair and down his whiskered cheeks. How she loved the manly feel of him lying atop her. It was such a peculiar thing. This pressure of his body pressing against hers. Of his arms surrounding her.
She ran her feet down his legs, feeling the crisp hairs that dusted them, and reveled in the differences between their
He was what she needed most.
This man whose kisses set her afire. Whose strong touch made her weak.
He was her heart. Her soul.
But what good was it? Really? This was all kinds of folly and she knew it.
She couldn’t stay with him.
Forgetting the fact that they were two different species, Paden would never allow it. He couldn’t stand Kalder. Or any man who came near her, for that matter.
It was hopeless, this love.
Aching with the thought and wanting him regardless, Cameron wrapped her arms around Kalder’s neck and held him tight as pain wracked her body.
“Cameron,” he rasped. “You’re strangling me.”
She loosened her grip, then buried her face against his chest and closed her eyes, wishing for things she knew could never be. She didn’t want to let him go.
You’ll have to.
But, it wasn’t fair. Not when all she wanted was to love him. Be with him.
He’s another species. And she was completely fine with it. Indeed, she was about to make love with him.…
Under the waters he called home. Her life had become the strangest of strange.
Kalder nibbled her lips.
Pushing away all thoughts of reality, Cameron sighed contentedly. She would think no more about that. For now, she was where she wanted to be and with the man she wanted to be with. That was all that mattered.
She closed her eyes as he trailed kisses over her body, down to her breasts, where he teased and played. Arching her back, she melted under the onslaught of his tender care, and trembled as he loosened her breeches, then slid them from her body.
Kalder moaned aloud at the taste of her salty skin. If he lived forever, he would remember this moment. The way she felt beneath him.
The way her hands played in his hair while he licked and teased her.
It was heaven.
Growling deep in his throat, he left her right breast and made his way over to the left so that he could draw that taut peak into his mouth and let his tongue sample it.