Ducie by Chris Freeman

  Chapter 50. Questions and answers

  Naively, Kate had expected to be taken straight to the room where Adam was being held. Instead, Constable Kevin ushered her into a small office a few doors down on the left of the corridor. He did so quickly, looking around anxiously as he closed the door behind them. Inside, the office was small in size, the clutter made it feel more like a store cupboard then a workspace. A mountain of boots

  - Look. I’m not exactly meant to be bringing you back here like this….

  The way he phrased it, along with how shifty he was acting lead Kate to think for a moment that he was about to start kissing her. She caught a glimpse of herself in a small, unframed mirror on the wall of the office, which she imagined the Bobby’s used to straighten their hats; her fringe was bodiless and plastered to her forehead with sweat, her vest top an eye-catching patchwork of stains and blotches; perhaps he wasn’t planning to kiss her after all.

  - …. I mean, we haven’t technically brought you in for anything yourself, and this isn’t like a hospital where we have visiting hours for the crooks, you know….

  - Adam’s not a crook!

  - Ahhhh. Adam! Adam Trundle, yeah?

  Kate nodded.

  - Ok, so he was telling the truth about his name at least.

  - Where is he?

  - He’s in a cell down the way here.

  - A cell? Oh come on! He only gave one of your PCs a bit of jip about cherry picking easy arrests. This is all a bit much for that isn’t it?

  - It’s for his own good. Just until he sobers up. The streets are rough enough at the best of times, never mind when you’re seeing space monkeys like he is.

  - Space monkeys?

  - Well….close enough! He’s seen everything but space monkeys according to him!

  PC Kevin switched to a blurry, psychedelic, stoned American hippy voice as he impersonated Adam:

  - “Woah dude! Like…my name’s like, Adam ‘Flower Power’ Trundle, and like….the people who live underneath Pype Hayes Park are trying to kill me and my partner in crime who lives on this super secret magic island in the middle of the ocean man……Oh! Sure dude! You want my address? It’s 7777, the Institution of Underground Mayhem and Make Believe Islands”. Ha ha! I don’t know what that boy’s been shoving down his gullet, but I might just ask him if he can get me some for the weekend!

  Kate wanted to laugh, but she resisted. It did sound like an acid trip when the Constable mocked it like that, but essentially what Adam had told them was true. She still couldn’t believe that Adam had tried to sell the concepts of Ducie and the Institution to them. Bless him! He was going down fighting, despite how screwed and hopeless it seemed right now.

  - So what do you know about this kid? I’m genuinely intrigued. It is LSD? Ketamine? Is he a smack-head?

  - He’s telling the truth officer.

  - Ah, come on! No! Not you as well….

  The officer let his head fall right the way back in mock exasperation.

  - What the hell are you pair taking together? Come on, knock it on the head now. What’s his game? Is he a bit…. You know….Special?

  PC Kevin did a ‘tweet-twoo’ whistle, whilst pointing a finger towards his own head and rotating it clockwise to indicate a mental illness.

  - I said he’s telling the truth!

  - That’s the ‘information’ you’ve got for me on him? You call that information? That he’s telling the truth?

  - Uhhu.

  - Well….Then you’re a fruitcake just like him!

  - Look….are you arresting him or not? If you’re not, then we need to get out of here, because he’s in trouble.

  - Trouble from who? The evil magic island doctors?

  PC Kevin spoke in a mocking child’s voice. Kate didn’t find him funny any more. He was milking it now!

  - Look. You know Pype Hayes Park?

  PC Kevin eyed her with a suspicious glint. He clearly thought Kate was mental, but he was having too much fun with this to let it go.

  - Yeah, Pype Hayes…What about it?

  - Can you take us there?

  PC Kevin burst into that type of laughter so consuming that it takes a second or two for any sound to come out. He tried to speak, but was suffocating on his own amusement. When the laughter finally made its way out, it was theatrical and deafening. The office door suddenly opened and a Sergeant with a bushy moustache that didn’t belong in this decade and a scowling frown that made Kate feel like she were back at school walked in, looking unimpressed.

  - Webster. What’s all this about? Get yourself together.

  Kevin gasped and battled with his composure, standing tall and staring straight ahead, as if this show of excessive compliance would be enough to contain his hysterical amusement. His face creaked under the pressure of the laughter that was building up inside him. Then he burst. Spilling his juvenile giggling across the room. Across his sergeant. He slapped his superior on the back.

  - Oh Sarge! You need to hear this. It’s bloody priceless! You know that nut job in the Sober Cells, Adam. The one that’s rambling about the doctors that want to kill him and the island in….

  - I know the one, yes.

  Sarge was less than impressed and his abrupt interruption was designed to convey exactly that.

  - ….Well this is his friend….

  PC Kevin gestured to Kate to fill the gap by introducing herself.

  - Kate.

  - Kate! Of course…. This is Adam’s friend Kate, Sarge. And you want to know something interesting about Kate.

  - Just get to the fucking point will you Webster! If I wanted unnecessary drama, I’d buy myself a box set of The Bill.

  Kate couldn’t stop a small smile seeping out of the corner of her mouth. She liked this guy.

  - Of course Sarge! You see, Kate here…. She tells me that everything her friend Adam said to us is true….You know….about his partner in crime living on a desert island. And the doctors that live under Pype Hayes Park wanting to kill them both. She wants us to take her to the Park Sarge!

  PC Kevin looked to his superior for validation that this was indeed hilarious, but Sarge’s expression was deadpan and fixed like it were carved from wood. A few uncomfortable seconds trudged by before he eventually turned to Kate, pushing her back through the office door. He spoke with the calmness of someone who had seen much worse.

  - Get out of my station and stop wasting my time, you scraggy little slut!

  Kate didn’t like this guy any more.

  - He’ll die in there! And his blood will be on your hands. This is happening on your shift you know.

  Sarge was above all this. He quickly delegated the sticky task of getting rid of Kate before marching off to deal with far more important business.

  - Take her outside Kevin. I don’t have time to listen to this crap.

  Kate didn’t resist physically as Kevin frog marched her back out into the waiting room, but she continued to plead.