Elfin, Book 1 The Elfin Series by Quinn Loftis
Chapter 17
I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m drowning and no matter how I try I can’t get enough air. Someone is calling my name. I ask who it is and the voice says she’s my soul. I tell her that I don’t want a soul. A soul makes you feel and I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to hurt, I don’t want to remember. Remember what? My name. The voice is saying my name but I am no longer Cassie. I am Cassandra, and I want to forget.
Cassie threw the brush across the room and Flora had to duck in order to keep from being hit in the head. It had been that way since Cassie woke up. She had become violent, screaming and throwing things.
“Cassandra calm down, everything is going to be,”
“DO NOT TELL ME IT IS FINE!” Cassie bellowed. “IT WILL NOT BE FINE UNTIL YOU BRING ME MY DRINK.”
Flora cringed under the hateful stare that came through those empty eyes. This was not the girl who had been brought here weeks ago. That girl had kindness in her. The one that stood before Flora now was only the leftover shell.
“Your betrothed has ordered that you not be given anything,” Flora explained for the tenth time.
“If he wants to basically marry me then he had better give me Rapture or I will claw his eyes out.”
Flora grimaced. “Well, at least you’re honest,” she muttered.
Flora realized it was the final straw when Cassie broke the mirror and then held a shard of the glass to her throat.
“I swear I will slit my own throat where I stand, Flora.”
“Cassie,” Flora spoke softly, attempting to calm the wild animal inside the girl. “You don’t want to die, not for a drug.”
“And what do I have to live for if not for a drug, Flora?” Tears welled up in her eyes and her hand slipped. The mirror shard cut her skin and Cassie felt the warm blood flow onto her skin. It wasn’t a bad cut, but it hurt, and Cassie reveled in that pain. It was pain that she had caused. She could control it, unlike the pain that struck her when the Rapture had worn off, the pain she could not control and didn’t understand.
Flora rushed into the bathroom and brought out a towel. She pressed it to the cut, all the while clucking her tongue and chastising Cassie.
“Please,” Cassie whispered as the she-elf cleaned her wound. Flora let out a tired breath and slowly pulled out a small bottle from her dress pocket. Cassie recognized the color immediately and snatched the bottle away from her. She unscrewed the lid and guzzled the liquid. Her eyes closed and she felt the warmth of the drug seep into her. She let out a breath and took in another. In and out, in and out, finally she could breathe.
The rest of the morning went smoothly with Flora fluttering around dressing Cassie, fixing her hair, talking about stuff that Cassie didn’t care about and thus ignored. As soon as Cassie would begin to get agitated Flora would produce another little bottle of Rapture, Cassie would down it, and all would be well again.
Night came and Cassie noticed that it was Flora who was becoming agitated.
“Flora, what’s wrong?” Cassie asked and for a moment the sweet girl who had come to Flora, was back.
She walked over to Cassie and took her hand. “You are to enter into a Union.”
Cassie shrugged. “What’s the big deal about that?”
Flora once again became agitated as she waved her hands in the air, gesturing wildly as she spoke. “What’s the big deal? Cassandra you are to be Bound to an elf, a warrior, one you don’t know and who isn’t Triktapic.”
“At least he’s handsome,” Cassie pointed out. “I could be marrying an ogre, so see, you just have to look at the bright side.”
Flora threw her hands in the air. “Did you not hear me? Triktapic, your love, he’s not who you will be crawling into bed with tonight.”
Cassie groaned. “You just had to go there didn’t you? Well for your information I know all about what happens between a man and wife so feel free to keep that little speech to yourself.”
Flora watched Cassie closely and then it hit her. “You don’t remember him do you?”
Cassie shook her head. “Remember who?”
“Trik, the King’s assassin.”
Cassie’s eyes narrowed as she thought. She felt something pushing inside her and heard the whisper of her name again. Her soul.
“Damn why won’t she just give up?” Cassie growled. “I don’t want to remember; I don’t want to feel. Leave me alone.”
“Who are you talking to?” Flora asked anxiously.
Cassie’s head snapped around to look at the elf. “No one and I don’t know who this Trik guy is, and what is up with that name? Seriously, they call him Trik?”
Flora stood in shock at Triktapic’s Chosen. She knew of the connection between two Chosen. Her parents had been soul mates and her mother had often told her about the bond between the souls, that it was almost a separate part of them. Cassie was talking about her soul.
“Cassie what is your soul saying to you?”
Cassie shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do,” Flora challenged. “You do know and you need to listen to her. She’s calling for him isn’t she?”
Cassie was walking around the room in jerky, agitated movements. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Flora, just stop. Stop talking.”
“NO!” Flora snapped. “Listen to your soul, Cassie Tate.”
Cassie met Flora’s eyes and Flora, though she wanted to take a step back under the furious glare, held her ground.
“Why do you care all of a sudden?” Cassie nearly snarled.
Flora paused and thought for a moment. “Because I’ve grown to care for you and no one should give up their soul mate. You will hate yourself and the elf waiting for you if you do this.”
There was a knock at the door and both of their heads whipped around to stare at it. Cassie moved first. She walked over to the door and put her hand on the handle.
“Cassie, wait,” Flora’s voice was urgent. “Listen to her, if only for a second.”
“No,” Cassie told her firmly.
“Why? Just tell me why?”
“IT HURTS!” Cassie yelled. “It hurts to listen to her. I don’t remember him, but he hurt me, he didn’t want me and I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
“You would rather feel nothing?” Flora asked.
“Nothing can’t hurt me, nothing can’t break me.” Cassie answered coldly.
“It can’t love you either.”
Cassie ignored her words and pulled the door open.
“It’s time.” The tall elf who had carried her to her room stood at the threshold. He was handsome. He was strong and tall and he wanted her. He held out his hand to her and she placed her small one in it. His fingers wrapped around hers and she fought not to pull her hand away and recoil at his touch.
He led her to a small room. It was lit in soft candlelight and a large bed took up over half of the space. She quickly darted her eyes from the bed, not wanting to even consider what might happen there. She turned to the opposite wall and saw Lorsan standing there with his Chosen next to him. They were the only ones in the room with them.
“Andaer,” Lorsan motioned for them to come stand in front of him.
Cassie shivered as she walked beside the elf who she now knew was named Andaer. She wasn’t sure how it was spelled but it sounded like and-dire and in that moment it struck her as slightly funny that she hadn’t known the name of the man that she was about to essentially marry. She tried to stifle a hysterical giggle and turned it into a cough. Three sets of eyes landed on her and she blushed.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “Just a little nervous.”
Andaer squeezed her hand in what she was sure was supposed to be a comforting gesture but it made her skin crawl and again she felt the pushing, the warring soul inside her.
“My King,” Andaer spoke. “This is the woman I’ve chosen for my Union and I ask your blessing.”
Lorsan nodded and held out his
“A blood sacrifice must be made,” Lorsan told her holding out his hand. Andaer took Cassie’s hand and held it out to Lorsan. She didn’t want to watch but like a bad car wreck she couldn’t tear her eyes away. She sucked in a breath as Lorsan ran the dagger across her palm. Blood welled up from the wound and Cassie fought to keep her hand open. Lorsan made the same cut across Andaer’s palm and then he turned their palms so that they would meet.
“I, Lorsan, King of the Dark Elves, bless this Union. A sacrifice of blood has been made and the Union will be complete once consummated.” He pressed Andaer’s hand to hers and her first thought was that it could not be sanitary to be swapping blood with an elf she didn’t know. Again that made her laugh but she swallowed it down when Lorsan frowned at her and Andaer’s frown matched that of the King’s.
It seemed like they were waiting for something and when nothing happen Lorsan finally released their hands. She pulled her palm away from the elf—her now, what? Mate, husband? She stared down at the blood smeared there. Whether it was the sight of the blood or the screaming in her head that she could no longer pacify, she didn’t know but she felt darkness engulf her as she fell.
Andaer caught Cassandra as her body crumbled. She was pale and her skin felt clammy. He picked her up and took her to the large bed and laid her down.
“What is wrong?” He asked Lorsan, though his eyes did not leave Cassandra’s still form.
“Perhaps she doesn’t like the sight of blood,” Ilyrana suggested.
Andaer nodded, but his gut told him that that was not why his Bound had fallen. He heard the door close behind him and knew that the King and Queen had left him to be with his mate. There was a knock at the door and he called out gruffly. “Enter.”
There was a squeak behind him and he turned to find the she-elf who had been Cassandra’s handmaiden staring wide-eyed at the human.
“What happened?” She rushed over to the side of the bed and placed a cool towel on Cassandra’s forehead.
“She passed out after the Union,” he explained.
The she-elf tsked at him. She muttered under her breath as she wiped Cassandra’s face and positioned her hands on her stomach.
“Will she be alright?” Andaer asked her.
She glared up at him. “Yes,” she snapped, “she will be fine. But when she wakes you will want to give her this.” She held out a small bottle of Rapture.
Andaer snarled. “NO! I will not have her drunk on that any longer.”
“Then you will lose her.”
“What? What are you saying?”
“She threatened to kill herself if she did not get the Rapture. She needs it; you have your King to thank for that.”
Andaer stared down at the human girl who had claimed his heart the moment he had seen her dance for the first time. She was so graceful, so uninhibited. He knew that she was Triktapic’s Chosen, but he had heard that Trik had discarded her and would not claim her. Andaer counted the assassin a fool to give up such a creature. So he had gone to Lorsan and petitioned the King for the girl. Lorsan had made him swear a blood oath to protect him should Triktapic come for him. Andaer had known Trik a very long time, knew of his fighting ability, his cruelty, and power to bring others to their knees. Still he couldn’t say no because he wanted Cassandra, at any cost.
“Will she always need it?” He asked.
“You have taken that which is not yours. Her soul cries out for another and the only thing that quiets that voice inside her is the red devil—Rapture. She will always need it if you don’t want her to crawl into a hole and wither away, which will still happen, only more slowly if she is smashed on the drink and dead inside.”
“This is not my fault!” Andaer shouted. “Triktapic, the fool, left her. He did not protect her, claim her. He is to blame for this. I only want to care for her.”
“Then take her to him. That would be truly caring for her.”
Andaer shook his head. “I can’t do that,” his voice was a whisper as he brushed Cassandra’s hair from her beautiful face. “I can’t give her up.”
“Then you are just as much as a fool as Trik and you both are causing the girl’s death. You both have stuck a knife in her and are slowly turning it ripping her insides to shreds until her organs will no longer work.”
Cassandra began to stir and Andaer moved closer to her. “Leave us,” he told the she-elf.
She looked one last time at the human before she hurried from the room. Andaer heard stifled weeping as the door closed behind her.
He leaned down closer to Cassandra as her eyes fluttered open.
“Hi beautiful,” he whispered to her.
“Please don’t call me that.”
“What would you like me to call you?” Andaer couldn’t stop touching her. She was here, in his bed, bound to him.
“Anything but that.” Cassie tried hard not to shrink from his touch. She began to shake as his hands roamed and though he didn’t touch her anywhere that she hadn’t been touched before, she felt naked before him.
He leaned down and buried his face in her neck. She squeezed her eyes closed and bit back a whimper.
His hand slid up to the tie that held the dress she wore on either shoulder and she felt him pull the strings loose. Cassie tasted blood as she bit harder into her lip. He began to pull the dress down and she could not stop herself any longer. Her hand grabbed the dress and held it in place.
Andaer pulled back and looked down at her. He didn’t look angry, but his brow furrowed at her.
“You are mine and I will have all of you.”
Cassie swallowed hard. “Um, I’ve never, uh, I haven’t been with a man before, or been touched anywhere that would normally cause me to knee a guy in the jewels.” She shivered nervously and watched a slow smile slide across his lips.
“You are pure?” He asked.
“Of course I’m pure, what did you think I was, dirty snow?” She snapped at him, her fear slipping just a little at the surprise in his eyes.
“You dance as one with much more experience,” he told her as he traced her lips with a finger.
“I watch Dancing with the Stars, and I’m a quick study,” she told him as she stalled for time. She looked around the room and saw the small bottle on the table beside the bed. Jackpot, she thought.
“Can I have some of that?” She nodded towards the bottle.
Andaer looked from the bottle to her and the she-elf’s words echoed in his mind. He reached for the bottle and opened it for her. He helped hold her head up so that she could drink the liquid and his eyes were drawn to her throat as he watched it move with each swallow. He leaned down and traced her throat with the tip of his tongue and he heard her moan. He smiled against her skin and took the sound as submission. His hand wondered up to the dress and just as it would have exposed her smooth, untouched skin he heard a voice and he froze.