Farm Tales: Short Stories, Games, Jokes, and More! by Uncle Amon
Farm Tales
Uncle Amon
Uncle Amon Books
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Copyright © 2014 Uncle Amon Books
All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. Graphics and images used in this book are licensed and © Dollar Photo Club. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
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Ricky the Farm Boy
Delores the Cow
Buddy the Wonder Goat
Lucky the Rooster
Eleanor’s Egg
Farm Jokes
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Ricky the Farm Boy
Ricky had been a farmer his whole life. He grew up with pigs and goats, cows and chickens. He was 10 years old when his dad told him that he would have to start doing chores every day. He had always helped out on the farm, but now he had responsibilities. Ricky didn’t mind, he loved being a farmer and taking care of his animal friends. His favorite part of the day was the morning feeding and it always went the same way.
First, Ricky put on his giant rubber boots and then he headed outside. He would always bend down to pet Tex the bulldog. Tex’s house sat on the front porch. He would scratch the old dog behind his ears. Tex would roll towards Ricky, but he rarely opened his eyes for these early morning pettings.
The first animals to get fed were the chickens. The coop was between the house and the barn. The chicken feed was in a pail outside of the fence. Ricky scooped out a cup full and tossed it out on the ground inside the coop. Ricky loved to watch the chickens pecking hungrily at the ground, “I will be back for the eggs later.” He would say as he headed off to the barns. Before he left the chickens he always tipped his hat to Lucky the rooster, and Lucky would respond with a head wag.
As Ricky entered the barn he started to separate the feed for the larger animals. He needed three pails for the cows, and a half a pail each for Herman the sheep, and Buddy the goat. Herman and Buddy were closer to the front of the barn so Ricky fed them first and then opened their gate so that they could get out into their pasture. Herman always seemed reluctant to go outside, but Buddy would not let him stay inside. Buddy would set his head down and nudge Herman in the direction he needed to go.
The cows came next. Ricky spread the pails of food out into a long trough. He always kept a little in the last pail for Delores, his favorite cow. There was just something about Delores. She was nothing like the other cows. She seemed to enjoy every bit of her day. Ricky swore that he could see her mind at work as she moved through the pasture. “That cow is a dreamer.” Ricky had told his parents. Every time his father tried to sell some cows, Ricky would make sure that Delores stayed on the farm. He did not want to lose his favorite cow.
With his chores done for the morning, Ricky would head off to his favorite thinking spot. It was a hammock between two large oak trees. There he would lay and dream until it was time to take care of the animals once again. He wondered to himself as he was about to doze off, “What do the animals do every morning while I sleep?” He started to imagine the animals walking and talking as the soft swinging motion and the rustling leaves carried him off to sleep.
Delores the Cow
Delores the cow was a dreamer. She wanted more than a simple pastoral life. She wanted to leave the farm and see the world beyond. The other cows were always getting mad at her for not being happy with the life she had. “You have green grass under your hooves and new straw to sleep on twice a week, a cow cannot ask for anymore.” Helga, the oldest of the cows would always say. All of the other cows listened to Helga and so none of them wanted to be seen talking to Delores. The other cows would look the other way whenever Delores came near.
Delores was grazing, just after the farm boy had opened the gates, all the other cows were still at the trough when a purple flower just outside of the pasture fence caught Delores’ attention. She had never seen anything so beautiful in all her life. Flowers never grew inside the pasture. Dandelions could be found sometimes, but the other cows would always eat them right away. Delores had always heard about how sweet flowers smelled. She decided she needed to find out for herself.
All of the other cows were busily munching their morning meal as Delores jogged towards the fence. She started trying to get her head onto the other side of the wire and wooden fence. None of the spaces seemed to be big enough. Delores started to nudge the wires with her nose to make the opening bigger. The wires spread apart and the eager cow started to push her head through. She got her head out all the way to her ears before she got stopped.
Delores looked at the flower. It was so close, but she was not close enough to smell it. She knew that she had to know what it smelled like, so Delores reared back and thrust her head forward. The quick motion was enough to loosen the wires and her nose ended up planted firmly into the flower. She inhaled that delicious scent. It was the most amazing thing she had ever smelled in her life.
The flower wrapped around her nose and it made Delores forget about the smelly barn and the cow pies in the pasture. She stood for a long time breathing in the smell of the flower. As Delores enjoyed the flower’s scent, it occurred to her all of a sudden that she had not eaten any breakfast. Her stomach had begun to quake. All four chambers were empty and Delores could feel them shaking with hunger.
The brown and white cow tried to back herself out of the fence, but no matter what she did the fence would not budge. She tried to move fast, she tried to wiggle slowly, but nothing was working. Helga led the other cows over to where Delores was struggling, “Do you see, ladies? This is what happens when you are not happy with the grass on this side. Greener though it may be, the grass on the other side is there for a reason.”
“Could you please just help me?” Delores pleaded, but the older cow simply put her nose up in the air and walked away, leading all of the other cows with her. Delores started to cry. She was so hungry and nobody would help her.
“Do you need help?” Delores heard a voice say.
“Yes, I am stuck.” Delores replied she looked up to see Herman the sheep standing just to the side of her head.
“Good,” said Herman, “He has been looking for someone to help all morning.” Herman said and just as Delores started to ask who Herman was talking about she saw Buddy the goat barreling towards her. Delores lowered her head and closed her eyes. Buddy packed a real wallop that sent Delores reeling head over heels. “You’re welcome,” said Herman as Delores sat on her haunches like a dog.
As the cobwebs cleared out of the cow’s brain, Delores started to move lazily towards the feeding trough. As she walked she looked over at the cows, who were all watching her, their snouts were quickly raised up into the air. Delores smiled because the other cows were jealous. They had never smelled a flower.
Buddy the Wonder Goat
Buddy started his day the same way every day. Herman dreaded this wake up routine all night and all morning. It was a long process. The first part was simple, go eat. Buddy had a spot that he liked to stand in while he ate, but he
The next part of his daily routine was to practice his super hero moves. Some people were unaware, but the world’s only real goat super hero is Buddy the Wonder Goat. He doesn’t wear a cape, but mainly because whenever he does, people take it away from him. The people on the farm do not understand Buddy’s calling and they are constantly interfering. Buddy practices his super hero charge every morning by yelling, “Charge forward for justice!” This is his battle cry.
After a short nap, Buddy starts his patrol of the barnyard. Herman refuses to admit it, but he is Buddy’s sidekick. Every great super hero needs a sidekick. The two friends patrol the farm together from their pasture. Buddy will call out, “Do you see any trouble?” As he scans over the ground toward the chicken coop and the farm house, he does not even notice what Herman is doing.
“It all looks good,” Herman will say, without lifting his head. Herman uses this time to make up for all of the time he gets pushed around. These are the calmest moments of his day. Today Herman helped Buddy save a cow that was trapped in the