File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents (7-13) by Lemony Snicket
Dear Headquarters,
If you are receiving this postcard it means Mr. Snicket has passed the test and is therefore progressing nicely as an apprentice in our organization. Please note the dated postmark for our records and make a note in the Snicket file.
With all due respect,
L.D.
The other side depicts a tedious joke starring an octopus. It is almost impossible to look at only one side of a postcard.
TRAIN WRECK.
Billy Becker was a stagehand who helped Hans with some of the Stain’d Playhouse’s spectacular effects. Tired of living in a shack, he came up with a few effects of his own, to scare Old Lady Mann out of town and leave the mansion empty for him to move into. The clanking sound was likely old chains left over from Look Out for That Train Wreck, and the “ghost” was simply Mr. Mann’s old costume from The Man Who Looked Somewhat Like Winston Churchill strung up on the wires that lifted Sally Murphy to the ceiling, and the muttering and scuffling were rats trapped in pillowcases that Becker would then hide under the bed while Old Lady Mann was investigating some of the more distant noises. Mr. Becker was found hiding in a distant laundry room in the Mann mansion, and once confronted, confessed to his plan. Old Lady Mann took pity on her former coworker and agreed to let him stay in the East Wing, and now the only mysterious noises that come from the mansion are songs from old Playhouse musicals, sung in a very low voice with harmonium accompaniment.
SHOUTED WORD.
The conclusion to this mystery is still in progress, and our organization encourages further input by volunteers in the field.
Sub-file III: All the Wrong Questions
“Who Could That Be at This Hour?” is the first of Mr. Snicket’s four-volume report, All the Wrong Questions, which details a case involving theft, kidnapping, strong coffee, fear of heights, honeydew melons, and murder. Excerpt below.
The screaming seemed to come from everyplace, echoing in the long, empty hallway. I thought I remembered a carpet on the floor when I had first entered the Sallis mansion, but I hadn’t been paying much attention. The floor was bare now.
“The mansion is too big,” I said. “We’re going to have to split up.”
“You want me to find whoever’s screaming by myself?” Moxie asked.
“Get scared later,” I told her, and hurried down the hallway and up a wide flight of stairs.
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LEMONY SNICKET is older than you and should know better. He is responsible for All the Wrong Questions, as well as all the books in A Series of Unfortunate Events.
SETH appears innocent, but looks can be deceiving. He is the creator of Palookaville, Clyde Fans, and The Great Northern Brotherhood of Canadian Cartoonists and can be blamed for the art in All the Wrong Questions.
Contents
COVER
TITLE PAGE
WELCOME
INTRODUCTION
SUB-FILE ONE: REPORTS. VIOLENT BUTCHER.
TWELVE OR THIRTEEN.
MIDNIGHT DEMON.
THREE SUSPECTS.
VANISHED MESSAGE.
TROUBLESOME GHOST.
FIGURE IN FOG.
SUB-FILE B: CONCLUSIONS. SMALL SOUND.
CHALKED NAME.
PANICKED FEET.
VERY OBVIOUS.
MESSAGE RECEIVED.
TRAIN WRECK.
SHOUTED WORD.
SUB-FILE III: ALL THE WRONG QUESTIONS A SNEAK PEEK OF “WHO COULD THAT BE AT THIS HOUR?”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND ILLUSTRATOR
COPYRIGHT
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Text copyright © 2014 by Lemony Snicket
Art copyright © 2014 by Seth
Excerpt from “Who Could That Be at This Hour?” copyright © 2012 by Lemony Snicket
Cover art © 2014 by Seth
Cover design by Gail Doobinin
Cover © 2014 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
Little, Brown and Company
Hachette Book Group
237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017
lb-kids.com
Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.
First ebook edition: April 2014
ISBN 978-0-316-28404-2
E3
Lemony Snicket, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents (7-13)
(Series: # )