Forbidden Choices by Jen Weddle
Chapter 12
Twelve chairs and a long wooden table sit in the center of the room underneath four circles of copper lights that look like sizeable, abstract globes with crisscross patterns of copper and gold intertwining with illuminating, flickering candles giving a romantic air to the room.
Each seat is filled, except for the one at the end between my mother and father. They watch me cautiously. I am late to dinner. A sigh of celebratory significance encircles the table and each unfamiliar face stands, one after the other nodding in my direction.
I take my place between the King and Queen and bow my head as the others have.
There’s no point in looking at the faces. I don’t know any of them. Someone at one end whispers something in a language I can’t understand—perhaps a blessing.
I gaze up. Two eyes stare back at me. The same color as mine but it can’t be. I thought that my eyes were unique and special. I look down at the mouth—identical.
A hand outstretches toward me. The hair is the same color but much shorter. The body is thin and muscular. It feels like a mirror has been placed before me, and had I been born as the opposite sex this is what would stare at me through my reflection each day.
“Ali.” The voice with the outstretched hand murmurs and I whimper. I take his hand in mine. It’s warm and it feels nice.
“My name is Viktor. I am your twin.”
All eyes are on us now. I try to think of something to say, but I have nothing.
I have a twin brother?
I can feel burning tears trickle down my face. They hit the table with a soundless splash and linger there. What do I say?
Another voice breaks the uncomfortable silence.
“Ali. We are so glad to finally have you home again.” The new voice retorts. “We have been waiting for a long time for this.”
I look over to where the sound came from. A small, petite woman with a pile of snow-white curly hair in a bun on top of her head and intelligent spectacles eyes me from beneath her glasses. I nod at her. The lump in my throat only seems to grow larger with each passing moment.
“My name is Merian Griesmeyer and I’m your grandmother.”
I look into her eyes and she looks into mine, I can see that hers are just as red and swollen as mine probably appear to be at the moment. She wobbles over to me and grabs me around the waist because she’s so tiny and squeezes tightly.
“Oh, my beautiful granddaughter I am so relieved to see you.”
“I am too. I can’t believe you’re real.” I stoop down to hug her gently and she smiles at me, wiping away one of my tears. She walks back to her own seat briskly. The rest of the guests introduce themselves. There are six others in total.
Ambrosia Winters, Yasmine Tutonk, Earnest Hentz, Olivia Vanguard, Lily Sandesky and Blair Yarborough. Each of the guests seated has some special talent or job at the castle, but two of them catch my attention right away.
Blair has a short blonde pixie haircut that bounces enthusiastically with each word that she overly pronounces. It makes me grimace; especially the way Theo watches her magnetically. Her pale blue eyes contrast with her neon orange gown. The lace tulle envelops her petite frame and her skin looks as soft and pale as moonlight.
I decide I don’t like her, but she doesn’t ever stop talking. And her voice is so positive and chipper that you’re obligated to like her. It’s disgusting. I watch as Theo and Blair exchange knowing glances between each other. I watch agitatedly while half-smiling and answering questions about the human world. I talk about ice cream more than I’ve ever talked about it in my life. I try to explain it, but it’s impossible. Everyone listens to me talk intently. It feels strange somehow.
Olivia catches my attention. It’s more the way my brother reacts to Olivia that catches me off guard. He hangs on to her every word—she’s soft-spoken. But there’s something going on between the two that makes me observe them. It’s as if they’re connected in a different universe. There’s this quiet magnetism that makes them both work so magnificently together. My brother seems to be snide and sullen with the others, but with Olivia he’s gentler in his demeanor.
I watch all the pairs interacting with each other. There’s something strange going on here. The boy and girl pairs seem to be drawn together. I want Theo. I watch him with squinting, jealous eyes ready to pounce at any opportunity.
Theo raises an eyebrow in my direction. I grow even more silent by each passing minute. I can hear a clock ticking in the background, somewhere loudly.
“Where is Ri—”My grandmother interjects, but she’s suddenly cut off by the other voices.
They look at her gravely, and her face reddens with shame.
“Who?” I ask.
“No one.” My father snorts.
I stare at him probingly, anticipating that he will answer her question.
“I was so hoping he’d be at dinner—he’s quite the character.” Gram replies.
“I want to meet him.” I chime in.
Theo eyes me from across the table where he’s seated by Little Miss Sunshine. I pucker my lips at him in a joking manner. He blushes and continues eating and listening to Blair drone on.
“May I be excused?” I ask hesitantly.
“Ahem.” Viktor chokes out. Everyone looks in his direction. “May I be excused as well?”
My father nods his head in agreement and everyone continues their conversation. Olivia watches me sullenly from her corner, but then she begins talking to Gram.
“Could we go on a walk?” Viktor asks.
I look at him curiously.
Viktor stands up dramatically while rolling his eyes and I follow him out into the garden. I look back to see my mother and father kissing passionately and I snicker at the sight. Viktor looks over at me curiously.
“What's so funny?” He asks.
“Nothing. It just seems strange the way they are looKing at each other. The whole time I grew up they couldn't stand the sight of one another but now look at them.” I say pointing in their direction as they are wrapped up in a passionate kiss at the dinner table—nonetheless—and surrounded by guests.
“Yeah. I guess that would be funny to see them this way for the first time.” He replies.
We stroll wordlessly through the garden and I enjoy the momentarily solitude, away from the responsibility and the chaos that I’ve accepted as my new life. It feels nice to not have to talk to someone for a change.
Viktor points out frogs near the pond and the baby fox that lives near the willow tree that he seems to have befriended. The fox wraps its tail around Viktor’s legs and he takes a treat out of his pocket as the fox stands on its hind legs eagerly.
He remarks that the willow tree is his thinking place, and he often finds himself out here to be alone. He stops in front of a gentle stream and removes his shoes. He rolls up his black pants just past his knees and sticks his feet in the water.
“Come on Ali.” He says patting the spot next to him. I lift my silver silky dress that I changed into after the embarrassing robe incident with Theo.
I remove my shoes and sit next to him, dabbing my toes into the refreshing stream.
“Did you know I existed?” I ask quietly.
“Yes…” He sighs.
“You did?” I look over at him through a layer of bangs.
He removes something crumpled and aged from his pocket. He hands it to me. I caress it gently. It’s a crinkled photo of two identical twins holding hands in a garden and smiling happily.
“That’s us.” He says pointing at the cheerful kids in the photo. “Gram took it the day before you left, but you were too young to remember me… I guess.”
“I’d always hoped you and mom would come back home.”
I start to cry again and Theo puts a comforting arm around me. I lean into his shoulder sobbing hysterically.
“Why didn’t I get to stay here with you and Gram?” I ask.
“It wa
“But I didn’t know it.” I look down at his white shirt and realize that mascara is running down it. “Sorry.” I whisper trying to rub the blot out.
“It’s fine.”
He whispers something under his breath and the stain disappears.
“I can do enchantments… just don’t have my powers yet.” He looks down glumly. “I’m glad you’re not like dad.”
“What do you mean?”
“Dad can take things a little too seriously sometimes…. I think that’s why I missed you and mom so much; it would have been nice to have you two here so that we could be a family instead of just half of one…” He trails off looking in the distance. It’s beginning to get dark and the fireflies are starting to emit light.
“I wish that we could have stayed.” I whisper.
“It wasn’t your fault. I wish that we could have stayed together to.”
“I know. But I still wish it didn’t have to be the way it was. At least you had dad and Gram—I had no one. Mom was in the insanity ward for most of my life. And dad… well he was just a memory for the longest time.” I close my eyes and try not to cry, but my brother wipes away the single tear with the back of his hand.
“It’s okay to cry sometimes, Ali. Life is hard. No one would blame you for having emotions… or for hating us for leaving you alone and lost for so long. Dad was devastated when he learned that he had lost you. He hasn’t been the same since the day he left to come back here.”
“Is it okay if I stay out here by myself for a while?” I ask.
“Of course, please don’t ever hesitate to ask me for anything Ali, you’re my sister and I love you. I’m so glad your home.” He gives my hand a quick squeeze and gets up to walk back toward the palace.
I cry and the stream seems to catch my tears in its pool of grief.
What am I going to do? Is this really my home and my family? I’ve spent half of my life looking for these things… to call something family or home—and I’ve always had it. It’s been far away but it’s been here.
I continue to cry. A beautiful sound creeps out of the forest. A soft, enchanting lullaby gently swirls around the trees and playfully dances in my eardrums, making me get up from my place of grief and devastation. I walk barefoot toward the sound. The melody continues to speed up as I reach the foot of the willow tree.
The cool wet grass squeaks between my toes and the locusts hum madly in the warm summer evening air beneath the shady trees, but all I can think about is the lovely sound beckoning me into the deep, dark forest. I walk past dozens of rose bushes and follow the stream that leads me farther and farther away from the palace.
The sound is getting louder now—more enchanting, as if it was made only for my ears. I spot something or someone in the distance. The fireflies move rapidly through the air toward the object spinning and dancing with the music as they crowd the air. I want to get a closer look so I hide behind a nearby bush.
It’s a younger man wearing nothing but a pair of rolled up black slacks dangling his feet in the stream and playing a flute. He sits on the bank and plays his flute like a madman, but then everything grows eerily silent. A branch snaps in the distance and he sets the flute down.
Keep playing the beautiful tune, please.
Even the fireflies have stopped dancing.
He is sitting silently staring at the water dreamily.
“I thought you were never going to come.” He says in a hushed, powerful voice. I peer out from behind the bush where I was hiding.
Our eyes lock and I can’t feel anything at the moment. It’s almost the feeling I got when I locked eyes with Theo for the first time—but stronger, more intense. My heart soars so high that I feel I’ll never be able to catch it again. His eyes are golden, or maybe it’s just the way the fireflies are encircling him making them appear to be golden. They sparkle mischievously and his smile is as blinding as the sun itself. I creep closer to him because I can’t stop myself.
I would much rather stay in the safety of the bush, but for some reason I have to be near him. His skin is darker than the others and his light brown hair gleams from the light of a thousand dancing fireflies. He stands up to walk toward me; his body is powerful and well-sculpted. I want to fall down before him—I’d do anything for him, to be with him.
He reaches his hand out to me, to gently touch my face. Right as his fingertip grazes me I fall into a tunnel of darkness. I can hear him yelling my name in the distance.
I like the way he says my name.