From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata
I nodded and glanced at Ivan, who was still talking to my sister. “Ivan, I’ll show you where the bathroom—”
“Do you want to play this next round of Jenga?” Jonathan asked him while I was still talking.
I blinked.
In the span of that blink, Ivan replied, “Sure.”
What?
“Go shower, stinky, so we can eat,” Jojo kept going.
Ivan looked over and must have seen the “wtf?” on my face because that hint of his smirk-smile crept over his cotton candy pink mouth. “Yeah, stinky. Go shower,” he echoed like an ass.
“He hasn’t showered either,” I let them know.
“I don’t smell,” Ivan said.
“I don’t either.”
“That’s debatable,” Tali said on a cough.
I blinked and ignored her because I knew what was going to happen if I didn’t take control of the situation. “Ivan, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I’m sure you have better things to do. I can show you where the bathroom is.”
“I’d like to play Jenga,” was his reply.
What was I going to do? Tell him no? I was going to regret this. I really was.
“I’ll show you were the bathroom is,” Jojo offered.
Shit.
“Okay,” I mumbled before leaning into Ruby and whispering, “Please make sure nothing bad happens.” I heard her laugh and felt her nod. Touching her head again, I gave one last look around the kitchen to see Ivan taking a seat beside James.
Then I got the fuck out of there, brushing by Ben on the way up the stairs like my ass was on fire. I took the fastest shower of my life, imagining all the random awful shit they were probably telling Ivan about me. It would be exactly what I deserved. I got dressed, looking decent for one of the only nights out of the week I had the chance to. Saturday night dinners were my period to be lazy and eat what I wanted to eat.
After rubbing aloe vera lotion into my poor, tired feet, I went down the stairs, straining my ears to listen to what the hell they could be talking about in the kitchen. The problem was, for once, it seemed like they were all whispering or not talking, because I couldn’t hear anything clearly.
At least until I made it just to the doorway. Then I heard them all laughing very, very quietly.
“I don’t get it, why does that make everyone laugh?” I heard Aaron, Ruby’s husband, ask.
It was Jojo who answered. “Have you seen pictures of her before she hit puberty?”
That was all it took for me to know what they were talking about. Bunch of assholes. But I still didn’t move.
“No,” was the other man’s reply.
Someone snorted, and I knew it was Tali. “Jas hit puberty really late. What was she? Like sixteen?”
It had been sixteen, but I wasn’t about to confirm it.
But my mom didn’t think twice about it.
“Some kids carry around baby weight for a while, you know,” Tali kept going, still talking really quietly. “Jas just happened to carry it for sixteen years until puberty hit,” she snickered.
“No,” Aaron tried to deny, bless his heart.
“Yeah,” Tali confirmed. “She was a little chunky.”
Jojo snorted. “A little?”
“Aww, now y’all are just being mean,” Ruby threw in. “She was so cute.”
“She had such a big butt, she hated wearing leotards because they would always give her wedgies,” my mom decided to share. “The more we tried to tell her to wear looser fitting clothes, the more she would wear those damn leotards and unitards, even though she was uncomfortable.”
There was a snicker that I knew belonged to Ivan. “That sounds like her.”
“You have no idea. That girl has always made it a point to do the opposite of what people want from her. She does it on principle. She always has. The only time a ‘no’ has ever stopped her was when she watched that one movie… what was it called? The hockey one she was obsessed with….”
“The Mighty Ducks,” Ruby offered.
“The Mighty Ducks, right. She begged me to put her into hockey, but there weren’t any hockey lessons that allowed girls. I was in the middle of arguing with this one coach to let her try out when she got invited to a birthday party at the Galleria, and the only reason I convinced her to go was because I had told her a lot of hockey players do figure skating to build up their skills.”
“I didn’t know that,” James said.
“Oh God, she watched that movie a million times. I tried throwing the tape into the trash at least once a week, but Mom would always take it back out,” Tali groaned.
“Didn’t she see you do it once and you guys got into a fight over it?” Ruby asked.
That made me smile, because I could remember that day completely. We had gotten into a fight. I’d been ten. Tali had been eighteen, I think. Luckily for me, she was an extra small person, and it hadn’t been so hard to try to beat her up for trying to throw my movie away.
“Yeah. She punched me in the damn nose,” my sister replied.
My mom burst out laughing. “You bled so much.”
“How can you laugh at me being attacked?” Tali gasped, reminding me she was the second biggest drama queen in the family.
“Your ten-year-old sister punched you in the face. Do you know how hard it was for me to not laugh when it happened? You had it coming. I warned you, she had warned you, but you did it anyway,” Mom cackled, sounding like she was proud of me in a fucked-up way.
It made me smile.
“It’s bullshit, Mom.”
“Oh, be quiet. Ivan, you don’t care that a little girl beat up her older sister, do you?” Mom asked.
There was a pause and then, “I’m sure you weren’t the first person Jasmine has ever punched. Or the last.”
There was another pause, and then Tali added, “No. I wasn’t.” Then there was a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. “She’s always been a scrappy little shit. Wasn’t she like three when she hit that kid in daycare?”
“I thought she kicked that boy that tried to look up her skirt when she was three?” Jojo asked.
“It was both—” my mom started to say before Ivan laughed.
“What?”
“She got her first warning kicking a boy who pushed her down. Then she got kicked out of that daycare when she socked that same boy when he tried to look up her skirt. To be fair, I’m pretty sure Sebastian told her to do that when the kicking thing happened.”
“Then she got detention in kindergarten twice. One girl pulled on her hair, so she pulled her hair right out—”
I recognized James’s laughter.
“Then another girl ate her snack, and she threatened to spit in her eye and the teacher overheard,” Mom continued. “In first grade, she got suspended for giving a boy a wedgie. Jasmine said it was because he had been picking on another little boy. In second grade, she got detention twice. She spilled milk on—”
And that was enough of that. I’d been a little shit. That shouldn’t surprise anyone.
“Okay, Ivan, Aaron, and James don’t need to know all the times I got in trouble when I was little,” I said, as I finally came into the kitchen.
My mom had taken a seat between Ivan and Ruby and shot me a huge smile. “I was just getting to the good stuff.”
“I wouldn’t mind hearing everything else,” James piped up with a wink.
I sighed and stopped behind Ruby. “Mom can tell you about ages five through ten next Saturday.”
Mom pushed her stool back. “Let’s eat, children.” Then she glanced at Ivan. “Are you eating with us? It isn’t Gold Medal approved, but—” She shrugged. “—it’s good.”
I should have known Mom would invite him to stay and eat too. Shit.
Ivan seemed to think about it for a moment as I stood there on the brink of praying he would say no, before glancing in my direction and asking, “Are you eating?”
Fuck. “Yes. It’s my cheat meal.”
Those glacier-colored eyes lingered on my face for a moment. “Okay.” Then he turned to my mom. “If you have enough, I’ll stay, but if you don’t, I understand.”
Mom snickered. “We have enough. Don’t worry about it.” Then it was her turn to pause. “We eat in the kitchen.”
Ivan blinked. “Okay.”
“That was awkward,” Tali mumbled before shoving her stool back and getting up. “I’m ready to eat.”
Like we had done it for the last twenty-plus years, plates were grabbed and handed over. Then we filed in line to grab food from the pans Mom and Tali spread out on the counter. I waited in the back for Ivan while he went around the island, and I let him go in front of me.
“I’m not really surprised you were raising hell since daycare,” was the first thing he whispered.
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve had a lot of practice since then.”
He raised the eyebrows on that annoying face of his. “I’ll keep that in mind next time someone bothers me.”
Huh.
Was this us trying to be different? I wasn’t sure. “Okay.” Then I kicked him in the calf. Gently. Mostly. “Move up the line. I’m starving.”
He took a step backward, glancing over his shoulder to see he was directly behind James, who was still in line, before looking back at me and whispering, “You don’t care I’m here, do you?”
Yes. I definitely cared. I didn’t know what to do with it. With him. With Ivan Lukov who had less than an hour ago said we should try get along for some reason.
After all the things we had said to each other and all the things we had done to each other, this man I thought I knew wanted us to try and be friendly.
I didn’t like not knowing what to do or how to react.
But I didn’t say any of that shit to him, mostly because my nosey-ass family was around, and I knew at least a couple of them were eavesdropping. Instead, I lied and went with, “I don’t care.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re sure?”
I really was a horrible liar. I raised my eyebrows and figured there was no point in trying to play it off. “Would it matter?”
That made his pink mouth curve up at the edges… slightly freaking me out. “Nope.”
That’s what I thought.
“Your family is funny,” he kept going.
“Sure they are.”
“You already know mine, it’s only fair.”
“Fair for what?”
“For us. Being friends.”
I didn’t even realize my hand had gone to my bracelet, picking at the plate between the links, until the metal dug into the pad of my thumb from how hard I had subconsciously started playing with it. Glancing around, I made sure no one in my family was at least looking at us when I whispered, “I don’t get what all this being friends thing means.”
He blinked. “What do you mean?”
I didn’t look at him as I said, “What it sounds like. I don’t know what you’re expecting out of me.”
“Whatever friends do.”
It was my turn to blink. And because no one was looking at us, I kept on telling him the truth, because it wasn’t like it was a secret. Or that I was ashamed. Because I wasn’t. “I get that. But you know your sister is the only real friend, that I’m not related to, that I’ve managed to keep over the years.” I was proud of it. I didn’t have time for other people’s bullshit. I thought that was one of my most admirable traits, honestly.
All Ivan did was look at me.
I lifted a shoulder.
Then he blinked again. “Have you talked to her recently?”
I shook my head. “You?”
“No.” He turned around and took a step forward just as he made it to the counter. Over his shoulder, he asked, “Did you not tell her we’re partners then?”
Shit. “No.” I paused. I had assumed he would. “You haven’t told her either?”
“No.”
“Your parents?”
“They’re in Russia. I haven’t spoken to them since worlds. Mother has sent me a few picture messages, but that’s been all our communication.”
Double shit. “I thought you would have told them.”
“I thought you would have told Karina.”
“I don’t talk to her as much as I used to. She’s busy with medical school.”
I could only manage to see the back of Ivan’s head as he nodded, slowly and thoughtfully, like he was thinking the same thing I was. And his next words confirmed it. “She’s going to kill us.”
Because she was. She sure as fuck was.
“Call her and tell her,” I tried to throw it on him.
“You call and tell her,” he scoffed, not looking at me.
I poked him in the back. “She’s your sister.”
“She’s your only friend.”
“Asshole,” I muttered. “Let’s flip a coin to see who should do it.”
That time he did glance at me. “No.”
No. Ass.
“I’m not doing it.”
“Me neither.”
“Don’t be a pussy and do it,” I hissed, trying to keep my voice low.
His snicker made me frown. “Sounds like I’m not the only pussy,” he returned.
I opened my mouth and closed it. He got me. He fucking got me.
“Question. Do you two ever agree on anything?” Jojo asked, from where he stood a few feet ahead of Ivan, in front of the counter holding a plate piled high with food.
See? Nosey. Eavesdropper.
“No,” I answered at the same time Ivan said, “Yes.”
The slow smile that crept over my brother’s face told me he’d heard everything. Or at least mostly everything. “I wasn’t trying to listen, but I couldn’t help it. If you’re both too scared to call Karina, why don’t you just video call her while you’re here, so she can’t get mad, or if she does, it’s at both of you at the same time. Eh? Eh?” he offered, like him listening to something that had nothing to do with his life wasn’t a big deal.
And it wasn’t. I expected no less from him or from anyone else I was related to. I didn’t think my dad was nosey, but… I didn’t know for sure, and honestly, it didn’t matter. He was never around anyway.
What I did focus on was that Jojo had a point. And Ivan must have recognized that he did because he glanced at me and raised his eyebrows. Did I want to worry about Karina getting mad because neither one of us had told her something pretty important? No.
But…
“It’s a good idea, if you ask me,” Jojo mumbled before walking past us to keep going to the seat he’d left at the island.
Ivan moved forward in the line and immediately got busy scooping food onto his plate when he said, just loud enough for only me to hear, “It’s not a bad idea.”
“It’s not, but don’t let him hear you say that. He’ll write it down in his journal and bring it up for the next five years if you do.”
The tall man in front of me handed me the serving knife for the lasagna. I grabbed the portion I wanted that would fill me up but wouldn’t be so much it made me gain ten pounds after watching my diet for the last few weeks. After that, I picked two slices of garlic bread and a small portion of salad because, even though it was a cheat meal, I still needed vegetables.
By the time I turned around, there were only two mismatched stools that didn’t have an ass in them, and they were beside each other; Ivan took one and I took the other, sandwiching myself in between him and Ruby. I eyeballed him as he reached for the paper towel roll someone had left in the center of the island. He ripped off one, let his hand hover there for a moment and then ripped another one. Just as I started to cut into my lasagna, something white dropped onto my lap.
It was one of the paper towels.
“I wasn’t sure if you could reach them,” he whispered, being a smart-ass.
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, my hands still above my plate of food.
“You know, because you’re short.”
Biting the inside of my cheek to keep from physically reacting, I muttered, “Yeah, I know what you meant.” But mostly, I looked at the napkin and told myself that he had done something nice for no reason. He hadn’t spit in it. I’d watched. But I still didn’t know what to do with the gesture other than say, “Thank you,” that alone almost hurt. Just almost.
He must have known it because out of the corner of my eye, I saw his upper body turn, and I was pretty sure he raised his eyebrows like he couldn’t believe that I’d just said the t-word.
I couldn’t believe I had just said the t-word again either. I’d already said it once today. I didn’t want to hit my quota.
“So, Ivan, how are practices going?” my mom asked from her spot across the table while I was still trying to figure out what was happening and what I was doing and what Ivan’s game plan was for this “friends” shit. “All Jasmine tells me is that they’re going well.”
Shoving a forkful of lasagna in my mouth, I shot my mom a look. Crybaby. She wanted a report, but there wasn’t anything to tell her. She just didn’t believe me for some reason. She knew I usually always ended up telling her everything.
“They’re going well. We haven’t started any choreography yet; we’re still trying to get other kinks worked out. We’ll more than likely get the choreographers out the first week of June,” the man beside me replied easily, his hands resting on each side of his plate, one holding a knife, the other a fork.
There were a few nods around the table, so I bit off a piece of garlic bread and watched my family members to see who was going to continue giving him the third degree. Because that’s what this was, and that’s what was going to happen. It’s what I’d been trying to avoid. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t my boyfriend; he was just of an important figure in my life, if not even more important. Actually, he was definitely more important than any of those wastes of time.
“That’s good,” my mom replied when I was halfway done chewing my food. Then she smiled, her face eerily calm and pleasant, and I knew whatever was about to come out of her mouth was going to be something off. I’d swear even Ben beside her must have seen it or sensed it because I was pretty sure he muttered, “Oh no,” under his breath.