Getting Rid of Bradley by Jennifer Crusie
The windows were gone, replaced temporarily with boards, and the plaster ceiling sagged, and the hole in the middle of the bed had left it only a charred frame.
Lucy bit her lip. “I don’t care if it wasn’t a big bomb. It did a lot of damage. There wouldn’t have been much left of me.”
Zack put his arm around her. “You’ve got great instincts, kid, but we shouldn’t be here now. Close the door and come on upstairs.”
“My quilt.” Lucy looked down at the torn and stained mess on the floor.
Zack tried to be helpful. “It has to stay where it is for now. The lab people will be back tomorrow to look at it. But maybe after that we can fix it.” He looked down at it doubtfully. “Or something.”
Lucy tilted her head to look at it. “Is that the way it was on the bed?”
“I suppose. I pulled it straight off. Why?”
“It’s sideways. The square from the Confederate uniform goes at the top. I always put it at the top. Now it’s over here. That’s what I noticed, that the quilt wasn’t right.”
“Good for you.” Zack tightened his arm around her and pulled her away from the door. “Come on. We’re not supposed to be here.”
He closed the door and put the tape back across it, and they turned toward the stairs. Then from inside the room, there came a loud cracking noise and a massive thud.
Lucy stopped cold. “Was that another bomb?”
“No.” Zack opened the door to the attic stairs. “That was your ceiling. Falling. Don’t go back in there, okay?”
Lucy swallowed. “I don’t think I’m ever going to feel safe again.”
Zack felt a surge of anger. Lucy loved this house and now some creep was making it a hell for her.
Then she turned to him, and he forced himself to grin. “Well, I can guarantee that if you go upstairs and get into bed with me, you won’t be safe. I guarantee that you’ll be attacked immediately. All my instincts say so.”
Her eyes widened, and he held his breath.
“I thought we were finished,” Lucy said. “I thought you left.”
“I thought so, too.” Zack stuck his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “I can still go if you want. My instincts could be wrong, for once.”
Lucy shook her head slowly. “Your instincts are never wrong.”
“Good.” Zack breathed deeply again and jerked his thumb at the stairs. “Get moving.” She smiled at him suddenly, and he went dizzy just looking at her. “You know, I really like your hair,” he said, trying to keep his voice light.
“Thank you,” Lucy said, and went up the stairs.
“You didn’t call Junior, did you?” Zack asked, and followed her.
ZACK WOKE UP THE NEXT morning, shifting against Lucy, feeling her warm weight as both a memory and a promise.
Thank God, he was back with her. Now all he had to do was figure out a way to stay with her. But he was going to have to be subtle. Take it slow. Think it through.
Then he looked down at Lucy, waking slowly, flushed and warm from sleep.
He’d think it through later.
Lucy yawned. He bent to kiss her, and she said, “Ouch.”
“What?”
“Whisker burn.” Lucy rubbed her cheek.
“I know, I know.” Zack started to roll out of bed. “I’ll shave.”
“No!” Lucy caught at his arm and pulled him back. “Don’t shave.” She snuggled up next to him. “I like it.”
“I thought on the porch the other day you said...”
“Well, I like waking up with you like this,” Lucy amended. “You’ll have to shave later to go to work, but I like it now. It reminds me of the first time I saw you.”
Zack wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him so he could see her better. “So it’s all right in bed, huh?”
“Mm-hmm.” Lucy balanced her chin on her folded hands and smiled sleepily into his eyes. “It helps with one of my new fantasies.”
“Yeah?” Zack shifted a little to center her on top of him for maximum pleasure. “What new fantasy is that?”
Lucy grinned, the sleepiness in her smile melting into guile. “The one about the innocent schoolteacher and the vicious, uncivilized cop. Want to play?”
“Sure.” Zack ran his hands up her back. “Who do you want to be?”
“I, of course, will be the innocent schoolteacher.” Lucy batted her eyes at him.
“Which makes me the cop. All right, you have the right to remain naked.”
Lucy laughed.
“Innocent schoolteacher, huh?” Zack watched her eyes close as he moved his hands over her. “This isn’t going to work.”
“Why not?” Lucy popped her eyes open.
“You’re not that good an actress.” Zack rolled and pinned her beneath him.
“Well, I used to be an innocent schoolteacher,” Lucy said, and then he took her mouth, and she drowned in the heat there. Thank goodness, I’m not anymore, she thought, and then she thought of nothing but Zack.
THE DAY DRIFTED BY, a mix of unpleasant reminders like the forensics unit showing up to take Lucy’s bedroom apart, and mindless pleasures like laughing over lunch and playing with the dogs in the backyard. Everything was back to normal between them except that they were being very careful not to discuss anything controversial, like marriage. By the time dinner was over, Lucy still didn’t know what she wanted in the future, but she knew what she wanted in the immediate present. She wanted Zack.
She leaned against the dining-room table and watched him as he sat on the floor and talked to the dogs.
And wanted him.
It was a new feeling for her, this helpless love and lust and longing that grew while she watched him. She’d never felt more out of control and had never enjoyed a feeling more.
She just wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Zack looked up at her and caught her watching him, and she blinked.
“Say it,” Zack said.
“What?”
“Say it” He grinned at her from the floor, Maxwell in his lap. “I’ve been meaning to mention that to you. You’re about as transparent as window glass.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Every time you start to say something you think you shouldn’t say, you stop and blink.”
“You’re kidding,” Lucy said, wide-eyed.
“Nope. Every damn time. Anthony noticed it, too.”
Lucy felt herself blush. “Well, that’s humiliating.”
“No, it’s not.” Zack’s smile washed over her, and she stopped blushing. “We thought it was cute. Anyway, the point is, you don’t have to do that with me. There’s nothing that you can’t say to me. Just say it.”
Lucy opened her mouth and shut it again.
“Say it” Zack tipped Maxwell off his lap and stood. He stepped toward her and put his face close to hers and his hands on each side of her on the table, trapping her there. “Nothing you can say will shock me. Just spit it out, honey.”
“Make love to me here,” Lucy said suddenly, as if she had to get the words out fast. “On the dining-room table. Right now.”
“What?”
“Now,” Lucy said. “I want you now. On the table.”
“I was wrong,” Zack said. “I’m shocked.”
“Well,” Lucy began, and then he put his hands on her waist and boosted her up onto the table.
“And delighted. Did I mention ‘delighted’?” He moved himself between her knees, parting her legs as he moved closer to her, pulling her skirt up as he moved his hands up her thighs. “Don’t you ever blink again. I might have missed this.” Then he kissed her, and she fell into his heat, moving her hands across his shoulders to the back of his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair as he pulled her hips hard against him and licked his tongue into her mouth. She wrapped her legs around him, and he moved against her once and then stopped.
“Lucy.”
“Don’t stop,” she said into his neck. “You feel
“Oh, you do, too. Believe me, stopping is not what I want.” He laced his fingers in her hair and pulled her head back to look into her eyes. “But I forgot. The condoms are upstairs. So you have a choice. You can sit down here and think hot thoughts while I set the land-speed record for a round trip on two flights of stairs, or you can set one with me and we can make it a one-way sprint. Your choice.”
Lucy licked her lips. “Can we do it on the table some other time?”
“Often,” Zack said fervently. “Whenever you want. I swear.”
“One-way trip.” Lucy slid off the table and down Zack at the same time. “Don’t dawdle.”
She kissed him hard and then raced into the living room, heading for the stairs while he recovered from the rush her slide had given him.
“You know, I used to think you were an old-fashioned girl,” Zack called after her. “Thank God I was wrong.” Then, having given her a healthy head start, he started running, too.
WHEN ANTHONY RANG the doorbell the next day, Zack answered then left Anthony to close the front door while he went back to Lucy in the living room.
“Absolutely not,” he said to her. “No way.”
Lucy sat down on the arm of one of the overstuffed chairs and visibly gathered her patience.
“What is it now?” Anthony asked, keeping an eye on Heisenberg, who had rolled over onto his back. “Lucy getting stir-crazy again?”
“She wants to paint the kitchen floor.” Zack ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “Can you imagine? A great hardwood floor, and she wants to paint it.”
“It’s water-stained!” Lucy wailed. “It’s all blotchy! It looks ugly, and if we painted it...”
“No,” Zack said. “It looks just like my grandma’s floor. You let it be. We’ll just varnish it, and it’ll look great.”
“I don’t think so...” Lucy began, but Zack’s mind had already leaped to another subject.
“Have we got anything to eat? I’m starving. Nachos, that’s what I need. Have we got nachos?” He turned toward the kitchen.
Anthony watched him, dumbfounded, and then turned to Lucy. “What have you done with Zack’s brain?”
Lucy stood to follow Zack. “What brain? I don’t think he has one. I think he’s just one giant exposed nerve ending. I swear sometimes at night, I can hear his neurons snapping like popcorn.”
“Why does he give a damn about your kitchen floor?”
“Well, he sort of discovered it a couple of days ago, and I think he bonded with it. And now I’m not going to be able to paint it because it would break his heart, and it’s blotchy.”
Anthony looked at her closely for the first time since he’d walked in the room. She was wearing one of Zack’s shirts with the top three buttons unbuttoned and tight jeans with the cuffs rolled up. Her hair was a halo of rumpled auburn curls, there was color in her cheeks from arguing with Zack, and she stood resolutely with her hands on her hips and her feet planted firmly apart, glaring at the kitchen and presumably at Zack inside it.
She looked positive and confident and alive and glowing. And pretty damn sexy.
Zack stuck his head out the kitchen door. “I found the nachos. Am I cooking for one, two, or three?”
“You’re cooking?” Anthony said.
Zack looked at him in mild surprise. “Well, I have to eat.”
“Three,” Lucy said. “And remember, if the cheese explodes in the microwave...”
“I’ll clean it up. Big deal.” Heisenberg barked and Zack looked down. “Dead dog,” he said, and went back into the kitchen, and Heisenberg rolled over, quivering with pleasure, and trotted into the kitchen, too.
“This is eerie,” Anthony said. “It’s like the Night of the Living Yuppies.”
“Watch your mouth,” Lucy said. “We never Yup.”
“You know those old science-fiction movies where the mad scientist puts a steel cap on a human being and another steel cap on a chimpanzee and pulls a switch, and their brains scramble?” Anthony looked toward the kitchen. “That’s what this reminds me of.”
“Are you calling me a chimpanzee?” Lucy demanded.
“No, that would be Zack,” Anthony said. “What’s going on here?”
“What are you talking about?” Lucy blushed. “There’s nothing going on here.”
Anthony grinned at her. Lucy was hooked. Now all he had to do was make sure of Zack.
Zack called him into the kitchen for a beer.
“I found the bank,” Anthony told him, lounging against the counter to watch him cook. “We should have the warrant by tomorrow. You coming with me?”
“Oh, yeah.” Zack sprinkled cheese over a plate of nachos with a practiced hand. “I want to see inside that box.”
“Patrol car out in front for Lucy again?”
“Yeah. And I think her sister’s coming over, too. We met yesterday for the first time.” Zack shook his head. “That wasn’t pretty. Another good reason for me to leave.”
Anthony snagged a nacho chip from the bag on the counter and crunched it. “You know, Zack, if we find the bonds, you’ll be gone permanently. We’ll spread this all over the papers. Whichever of the Bradleys is trying to break in here will give up. Lucy won’t need protection anymore.”
“No, but she’ll need me.” Zack slid the nacho plate into the microwave and punched the button. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I like Lucy—” Anthony began.
“I do, too, and I saw her first. Stay away from her.”
Anthony tried again. “As I was saying, I like Lucy, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”
“I don’t, either,” Zack said, exasperated. “That’s why I moved in here, remember?”
“I’m not talking about the Bradleys.” Anthony picked up another nacho, and Zack moved the bag away from him. “I’m talking about you. You worry me. I don’t want you to hurt her.”
“Why would I hurt Lucy?” Zack frowned at him. “What are you talking about?”
Anthony abandoned subtlety. “I’m talking about your intentions, you fool. Are you planning on living here forever?”
“Yes. And to answer your next question, I already proposed. She said no.”
Anthony dropped his nacho. “You proposed?”
“But she’ll give in. She just needs time.” Zack leaned against the counter and folded his arms. “Hell, she just got divorced a week ago.”
Anthony bent to pick up the dropped chip, but Heisenberg was already there. He straightened. “Let me get this right. You asked Lucy to marry you?”
Zack looked unconcerned. “It may take a couple of months, but she’ll say yes.”
“You want to get married? You?”
“Only to Lucy.” The microwave dinged and Zack took out the nachos. “We need salsa with these.” He handed the plate to Anthony. “Be careful. It’s hot.” He began to rummage through the refrigerator, looking for salsa.
Anthony stood in disbelief as the plate seared his fingers. “This is eerie.”
“No.” Zack found the salsa and more beer. “This is Lucy. She has this effect on me. I like it.” He slammed the refrigerator door and headed for the dining room.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Anthony said and followed him.
TINA SHOWED THE NEXT morning on the dot of nine, striding into Lucy’s empty kitchen as if she owned it.
“Your baby-sitter’s here,” she announced. “That coffee smells wonderful. I can’t believe that I’m up at this ungodly hour. Only for you.”
“Go upstairs and go back to bed,” Lucy suggested, turning from the counter to hug her sister.
“No. Just give me some coffee. Where’s the kitchen table?” Tina stepped back from Lucy as Zack came in from the dining room with the three dogs. “Oh, look, you hired a shepherd.”
“You know, you remind me of somebody,” Zack said.
“Spare me.” Tina looked down at her feet. Maxwell had draped himself over her suede pumps. “Get off m
“Got it,” Zack said. “Cruella deVil. If she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will.”
“I see you’re dating the cultural elite,” Tina said to Lucy.
“Stop it, both of you,” Lucy said. “It’s too early for this.”
“I’ll put the boys in the backyard on my way out,” Zack said as he put on his jacket. “Anthony’s out front Gotta go.” He kissed Lucy on the cheek. “Don’t forget the dogs. It’s cold out.” He passed Tina on his way out “Great seeing you again.”
When Zack and the dogs had gone, Tina said, “Don’t forget the dogs? You? Who is he kidding? Exactly what is going on here?”
“Nothing.”
A grin crept over Lucy’s face, and Tina pounced. “Tell me everything.”
“No.” The coffee stopped dripping into the pot, and Lucy poured two mugs and handed Tina one. “I’m happy, and I’m being careful. You don’t need to worry.”
Tina leaned against the counter and sipped from her mug as she considered what Lucy had said. “What do you mean, careful?”
Lucy shrugged. “I know how bad my instincts are for men. I’m not counting on Zack sticking around. I’m staying independent” The toaster popped and she put two more slices of bread on a plate that already held four. “Strawberry or grape jam?”
“Strawberry. Where’s your table?”
“We’re refinishing the floor. Zack’s idea. Come on, we can eat in the dining room.”
Tina followed her in and sat down. “Lucy, you’re not paying attention here. You don’t have to worry about Zack sticking around. He’s moved in. He’s adopted your dogs. I think he’s planning on being around for the next sixty years. In fact, I think you’d better prepare yourself to turn down a proposal.”
Lucy slid into the chair across from her and reached for the jam. “He already proposed. But that was just heat-of-the-moment stuff.”
“Men will say anything in bed,” Tina agreed, and sipped her coffee.
“Oh, we weren’t in bed. We were here. Having breakfast.” She bit into her toast, enjoying the crunch.
Tina choked on her coffee. “Breakfast? He proposed in the clear light of day? In the morning?”