Global Warming Fun 4: They Taste Like Chicken by Gary J. Davies
Chapter 5: Jerry's Conference
"We require the participation of our Tribe friends in our talks," insisted Rocky. "The jants also."
"Very well," said Jerry Green. "But I must insist that what we discuss here be treated as secrets not to be disclosed to other humans. The information will have to be released very carefully."
"Agreed," said Ed. All the other humans present in the Council Chamber were used to keeping secrets and nodded in agreement. Ed, Mary, Running Bear, Talking Owl, and Gray Wolf were the Tribe representatives. These were humans that the Stone-Coats had dealt with for thirty-five years and perhaps trusted. Ruth played nearby but wore music-making headphones that prevented her listening to the meeting of the grown-ups. She was the lucky one, Ed thought.
"AGREED," echoed the jant contingent. Several hundred of the large-headed, large jawed ants were gathered in neat rows at the center of the small round wooden table, which along with several chairs for humans sat next to the cooling-station near the edge of the Tribe Council Chamber. Gray Wolf typed the jant response into a laptop computer, which was then displayed on screen and stated aloud by the computer for the benefit of telepathically mute Rocky, Running Bear, and Mary.
"As you all know, climate change is causing severe problems for humans," began Jerry. "You all have access to human news sources so I won't go into details."
"And what does that have to do with Stone-Coats?" Ed asked.
"Nothing, so far," said Jerry. "But now that the Stone-Coats are migrating sightings of them are increasing dramatically. United Stated and Canadian governments will soon need to acknowledge their existence. I have managed to gain Canadian cooperation so far by assuring them that Stone-Coats are harmless."
Ed resisted an impulse to laugh. In past centuries Stone-Coats had killed and consumed countless Tribe members that obstructed them.
"We Stone-Coats need take advantage of the brief period of regional cold in this region to replenish and spread ourselves," explained Walking Stone. "Our motion is necessary."
"Understood," said Jerry. "But we in Government fear what the reaction of our public might be when they find out about you. If you are perceived to be an enemy they will want military action taken against you. Some Canadians suspect a United States invasion plot and might independently attack Stone-Coats."
"That would be unwise for humans," stated Walking Stone. It was a simple statement, said in Stone-Coat fashion without emotion, but Ed and most of the Tribe members present knew it was also an implied threat.
"Yes, and it would also be the end of Tribe secrecy," noted Talking Owl. "All Stone-Coat paths over the ice sheet lead here to our Reservation, and the Tribe has kept Stone-Coats a secret for thousands of years. The Tribe could be perceived by other humans to be enemies of humanity."
"There will be enormous pressure on the Government to be in control of the situation," noted Jerry. "Some sort of Government action will be necessary, and my control of Government actions could become difficult."
"But you control the Government!" Ed pointed out.
"I do so largely by subtly steering public opinion in useful directions," said Jerry. "The humans in Government that follow me do not do so blindly. Many humans are always looking for scapegoats and behave fearfully and irrationally. The jants and their medical ticks were carefully introduced to humans as curers of cancer and other diseases. That has worked out rather well. Jants and their medical ticks are now welcomed world-wide by most humans, despite the huge inherent 'yuck' factor."
"ATTACKS ON JANTS BY HUMANS HAVE BECOME ACCEPTABLY RARE," acknowledged the jants.
"Inch long ants, even in great numbers, are less threatening than fifty-foot tall Stone-Coats," noted Running Bear. "I can state that from personal experience."
"But here at Giants' Rest humans, Stone-Coats, and jants live together and greatly benefit each other," noted Ed. "I don't see why that shouldn't be the approach world-wide."
"Agreed," said Jerry.
"Agreed," said Rocky. "In our experience if provoked humans can be a nuisance. If negotiated with they can be helpful and we Stone-Coats can benefit."
"AN ACCEPTABLE GOAL," agreed the jants. "WE HAVE ALSO BENEFITED FROM ASSOCIATION WITH HUMANS."
A gross understatement, thought Ed. Jerry created the jants in his garage.
"How do you propose that humans and Stone-Coats further benefit each other?" John Running Bear asked Jerry.
"As shown by what has been accomplished here on your Reservation, Stone-Coats could help humans in many ways," said Jerry. "You could help us fix our old bridges and buildings. You could help us produce electronic components. You could even help us gather rare elements from the Earth's crust and dispose of our atomic waste materials."
"All that you propose and more is technically feasible," said Rocky. "How would humans in return benefit Stone-Coats?"
"We would help spread Stone-Coat life across the Earth."
"Useful, but we are already gradually doing that," said Rocky, "particularly during ice age glacial periods."
"Humans could greatly accelerate that geologically slow process," said Jerry. "In a few years we could help you accomplish what could take you millions of years to do on your own."
"An interesting and valid point," acknowledged Rocky.
"I similarly helped the jants spread world-wide," said Jerry. "Without human help it could have taken centuries for them to do that on their own."
"TRUE," agreed the jants. "WE JANTS CREDIT OUR RAPID WORLD-WIDE SPREAD TO YOUR APPLICATION OF HUMAN SYSTEMS OF TRANSPORTATION. THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE HAS BEEN
"We require the participation of our Tribe friends in our talks," insisted Rocky. "The jants also."
"Very well," said Jerry Green. "But I must insist that what we discuss here be treated as secrets not to be disclosed to other humans. The information will have to be released very carefully."
"Agreed," said Ed. All the other humans present in the Council Chamber were used to keeping secrets and nodded in agreement. Ed, Mary, Running Bear, Talking Owl, and Gray Wolf were the Tribe representatives. These were humans that the Stone-Coats had dealt with for thirty-five years and perhaps trusted. Ruth played nearby but wore music-making headphones that prevented her listening to the meeting of the grown-ups. She was the lucky one, Ed thought.
"AGREED," echoed the jant contingent. Several hundred of the large-headed, large jawed ants were gathered in neat rows at the center of the small round wooden table, which along with several chairs for humans sat next to the cooling-station near the edge of the Tribe Council Chamber. Gray Wolf typed the jant response into a laptop computer, which was then displayed on screen and stated aloud by the computer for the benefit of telepathically mute Rocky, Running Bear, and Mary.
"As you all know, climate change is causing severe problems for humans," began Jerry. "You all have access to human news sources so I won't go into details."
"And what does that have to do with Stone-Coats?" Ed asked.
"Nothing, so far," said Jerry. "But now that the Stone-Coats are migrating sightings of them are increasing dramatically. United Stated and Canadian governments will soon need to acknowledge their existence. I have managed to gain Canadian cooperation so far by assuring them that Stone-Coats are harmless."
Ed resisted an impulse to laugh. In past centuries Stone-Coats had killed and consumed countless Tribe members that obstructed them.
"We Stone-Coats need take advantage of the brief period of regional cold in this region to replenish and spread ourselves," explained Walking Stone. "Our motion is necessary."
"Understood," said Jerry. "But we in Government fear what the reaction of our public might be when they find out about you. If you are perceived to be an enemy they will want military action taken against you. Some Canadians suspect a United States invasion plot and might independently attack Stone-Coats."
"That would be unwise for humans," stated Walking Stone. It was a simple statement, said in Stone-Coat fashion without emotion, but Ed and most of the Tribe members present knew it was also an implied threat.
"Yes, and it would also be the end of Tribe secrecy," noted Talking Owl. "All Stone-Coat paths over the ice sheet lead here to our Reservation, and the Tribe has kept Stone-Coats a secret for thousands of years. The Tribe could be perceived by other humans to be enemies of humanity."
"There will be enormous pressure on the Government to be in control of the situation," noted Jerry. "Some sort of Government action will be necessary, and my control of Government actions could become difficult."
"But you control the Government!" Ed pointed out.
"I do so largely by subtly steering public opinion in useful directions," said Jerry. "The humans in Government that follow me do not do so blindly. Many humans are always looking for scapegoats and behave fearfully and irrationally. The jants and their medical ticks were carefully introduced to humans as curers of cancer and other diseases. That has worked out rather well. Jants and their medical ticks are now welcomed world-wide by most humans, despite the huge inherent 'yuck' factor."
"ATTACKS ON JANTS BY HUMANS HAVE BECOME ACCEPTABLY RARE," acknowledged the jants.
"Inch long ants, even in great numbers, are less threatening than fifty-foot tall Stone-Coats," noted Running Bear. "I can state that from personal experience."
"But here at Giants' Rest humans, Stone-Coats, and jants live together and greatly benefit each other," noted Ed. "I don't see why that shouldn't be the approach world-wide."
"Agreed," said Jerry.
"Agreed," said Rocky. "In our experience if provoked humans can be a nuisance. If negotiated with they can be helpful and we Stone-Coats can benefit."
"AN ACCEPTABLE GOAL," agreed the jants. "WE HAVE ALSO BENEFITED FROM ASSOCIATION WITH HUMANS."
A gross understatement, thought Ed. Jerry created the jants in his garage.
"How do you propose that humans and Stone-Coats further benefit each other?" John Running Bear asked Jerry.
"As shown by what has been accomplished here on your Reservation, Stone-Coats could help humans in many ways," said Jerry. "You could help us fix our old bridges and buildings. You could help us produce electronic components. You could even help us gather rare elements from the Earth's crust and dispose of our atomic waste materials."
"All that you propose and more is technically feasible," said Rocky. "How would humans in return benefit Stone-Coats?"
"We would help spread Stone-Coat life across the Earth."
"Useful, but we are already gradually doing that," said Rocky, "particularly during ice age glacial periods."
"Humans could greatly accelerate that geologically slow process," said Jerry. "In a few years we could help you accomplish what could take you millions of years to do on your own."
"An interesting and valid point," acknowledged Rocky.
"I similarly helped the jants spread world-wide," said Jerry. "Without human help it could have taken centuries for them to do that on their own."
"TRUE," agreed the jants. "WE JANTS CREDIT OUR RAPID WORLD-WIDE SPREAD TO YOUR APPLICATION OF HUMAN SYSTEMS OF TRANSPORTATION. THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE HAS BEEN