Head Over Heels by Holly Smale
“So that’s a ten of punishment,” Dad whispers loudly. “Maybe even an eleven.”
Annabel play-punches him on the arm.
I blink at the cookies suspiciously. Something very bad is definitely about to happen.
That’s why they’re trying to alter my blood sugar first.
“Wilbur actually just came here to tell us that the bank account details you gave him aren’t working,” Annabel continues lightly. “Do you happen to know anything about that?”
Oh …
“I won’t give bank details over the phone, emu-wombat, so I had to come in person,” he explains. “You just never know when the FBI are listening.”
“Umm,” I say, staring at the table, “the bank details I gave you don’t work because I gave you the wrong numbers.”
“You silly baby-koala,” Wilbur says, patting my hand affectionately. “I can’t transfer the money you’ve made over to you without them.”
“I know,” I say, shrugging. “That’s kind of the point.”
There’s another silence.
And when I eventually look up, Wilbur’s face has gone bright pink and is wobbling so hard he looks like he’s made entirely of jelly.
“Ah,” Annabel says with a knowing nod. “There’s the missing piece. I knew we’d find it somewhere.”
Dad puts a gentle hand on top of my head.
“How did you …” Wilbur says after a few seconds of even wobblier facial expressions. “What did you … Who told you that … No. I can’t take your money, muffin. I won’t take it.”
“Yes,” Annabel says firmly. “You will.”
Wilbur glances at her in confusion, then at Dad – who nods as well – then at Bunty.
“Take the money, darling,” she says serenely. “Harriet made it for you. Karmically, it’s yours.”
For a few seconds, Wilbur looks like he’s about to either cry or explode with happiness.
Then he sits up straight and grabs both my hands.
“Baby-baby panda, you’re the best fairy godmother a fairy godmother could ever have. Thank you.”
And I smile, because he didn’t need to say it.
The millions of colours that make up Wilbur have started flooding back.
That’s all I wanted to see.
guess it just goes to show.
Sometimes a tiny bit of plan-making and scheduling and itinerating and meddling isn’t such a bad thing.
Maybe I won’t stop all of it.
I mean, with my epic organisational skills it would kind of be a waste, wouldn’t it?
Exactly.
“So does this mean I’m not in trouble?” I check, standing up again. “I’d just like it confirmed that this time I’ve absolutely got away with everything.”
“Oh, we’re going to distribute punishment,” Annabel says casually. “Little by little. Here and there. When you least expect it. Make no mistake about that, Harriet.”
“Maybe one morning you’ll wake up,” Dad agrees, narrowing his eyes, “and BANG. No cornflakes.”
Annabel nods. “Maybe one day I’ll take the lid off your favourite marker pen and just … I don’t know. Leave it off.”
“We might arrange some kind of family day out,” Dad says flippantly. “Walking. Really far. For no reason. Up mountains. With no mobile reception.”
“You may come home and find that your books are no longer alphabetised or even genre-ised.”
“It’s going to be a long-drawn-out torture, darling girl.” Dad high-fives Annabel. “We can’t wait.”
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.
“Now remain seated,” Annabel smiles, tapping the chair. “We have something else to talk to you about.”
Bat poop.
I really thought I was out of the woods there.
I give Jasper and Tabitha a terrified glance and slide back into the chair again.
“I actually came for two reasons, baby-baby kookaburra,” Wilbur says, leaning forward. “A rather smashalazing opportunity has just popped up like a mole in one of those computer games, so I came to run it by your two unfairly pretty parents first and see if they wanted to smack it with a hammer.”
“In person,” Dad says, raising his eyebrows. “In case you pretended to be us on the phone.”
“Or forged our signatures again,” Annabel agrees. “Or maybe tried to steal our baby.”
“Or just went ahead and got on the plane anyway.”
Yeah: I definitely haven’t got away with anything.
“S-smashalazing?” I say, grabbing on to the only bit I can justifiably repeat. “W-what opportunity? Is it another job?”
“It’s close but no potato,” Wilbur grins. “A foreign agency has asked me to loan your prodigious sparkliness to them for a few weeks, possum. They’ve been watching your ascent for a while and we think this could be what tips you into Supermodel-land.”
“But …” I kind of thought I’d finished ticking off the How to Be a Perfect Model list. “Don’t I have school?”
“Now she has school,” Dad laughs. “The last three days while she was in India and last week, not so much. But now she has school.”
“It’s the Easter Holidays next week, sweetheart,” Annabel reminds me. “So you’re not going to miss any, as long as you promise to take your revision with you and do it while you’re out there.”
“And I’ve said I’ll come with you,” Bunty says jubilantly. “We’re going to get into all sorts of mischief and mayhem, darling.”
Annabel frowns at her.
“By which I mean no sorts of trouble at all,” Bunty beams. “Definitely no arrests. The government will not throw us out, I promise.”
I turn to look at Jasper.
He’s leaning against the kitchen counter: completely unfazed by the showdown that’s just happened in front of him. He looks so handsome, with his bronze hair and square jaw and bright eyes.
I was kind of hoping I could spend the holidays hanging out with him.
“I’m not sure …” I say slowly, turning back. “I have quite a few awesome plans here.”
I was about to go upstairs and make them into laminated things of permanence. And then not use them, obviously. Just store them in my wardrobe.
Maybe bind them, in case of a planning emergency.
“OK,” Annabel says nonchalantly. “So do you want to let Nat know you’re not going or shall we?”
I freeze. “Nat? What’s Nat got to do with it?”
“We thought she could go with you too. We’ve already checked it with her mum.”
“My treat,” Bunty adds. “A little holiday for the two of you.”
One in 10,000 people are born with their organs reversed or ‘mirrored’ from their normal, expected positions.
It suddenly feels like all of mine are suddenly flipping over too.
My brain included.
A holiday? I get to go on holiday with Nat?
The best, wisest, coolest person in the entire world, and my non-kissing soulmate? The girl who has been so busy with college that I’ve barely seen her for the past month?
With a squeak, I jump out of my seat. “Really?”
“And Rin is going to extend her stay in England – she’s just landed a big modelling contract in London so we’re going to look after her a little longer while she shoots it,” Annabel adds. “She can stay in your room and, erm … look after Victor.”
Annabel makes quotation marks with her fingers again.
I blink at them. Rin landed the Vogue jeans editorial for Wilbur?
So my epic plan actually worked?
Also, that means she gets to spend a little longer with Toby?
I couldn’t have arranged this better myself.
I know because I definitely tried.
“Plus, I won’t be around quite so much,” Dad adds with a little twinkle. “You’ll never believe it, but my old advertising agency have offered me a freelance contract, with a view to a permanent one. They said something
We beam at each other. Dad Happiness Goal: TICK.
My head is starting to whirl.
A brand-new modelling agency. A new country. An all-expenses-paid holiday with my best friend and awesome grandmother.
But –
“Go,” Jasper says firmly from the corner as I spin round to look at him. “It’s only two weeks, Harriet. You shouldn’t even be deliberating. I’ll be here when you get back, with an extra helping of specially burnt biscuits.”
I grin gratefully. I like him so much.
My phone beeps.
ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE
I laugh and it beeps again.
ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING SAY WE’RE GOING SAY WE’RE
Then a third time.
ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE GOING ARE WE
And I can feel the colours inside me: exploding like a rainbow.
The truth is, some people may see a million shades, others may see one hundred million, but we’re all wrong. There are actually an infinite number of colours in the Universe, and there is no limit to what we are capable of seeing if we are brave enough to open our eyes.
The colours are there in front of us, and we can shade our lives as brightly as we like.
Smiling, I send Nat this:
WE’RE GOING x
Then I look up.
“OK,” I say, ready to burst with happiness. “So where are we off to?”
Bunty smiles. “Australia.”
I guess this story isn’t quite over yet after all.
Harriet Manners knows a lot of things.
* Cats have 32 muscles in each ear
* Bluebirds can’t see the colour blue
* The average person laughs 15 times per day
* Peanuts are an ingredient in dynamite
But she doesn’t know why nobody at school seems to like her. So when she’s offered the chance to reinvent herself, Harriet grabs it. Can she transform from geek to chic?
Click here to read more!
Harriet Manners knows a lot of facts.
* Humans have 70,000 thoughts per day
* Caterpillars have four thousand muscles
* The average person eats a ton of food a year
* Being a Geek + Model = a whole new set of graffiti on your belongings
But clearly she knows nothing about boys. And on a whirlwind modelling trip to Tokyo, Harriet would trade everything she’s ever learnt for just the faintest idea of what she’s supposed to do next …
Click here to read more!
Harriet Manners knows a lot of facts:
* New York is the most populous city in the United States
* its official motto is ‘Ever Upward’
* 27% of Americans believe we never landed on the moon
But she has no idea about modelling Stateside. Or, even more importantly, what to do when the big romantic gestures aren’t coming from her boyfriend …
Click here to read more!
Harriet Manners has high hopes for the new school year: she’s a Sixth Former now, and things are going to be different. But with Nat busy falling in love at college and Toby preoccupied with a Top Secret project, Harriet soon discovers that’s not necessarily a good thing …
Click here to read more!
Harriet Manners knows a lot about winter.
* She knows that every Christmas Santa climbs down 91.8 million chimneys.
* She knows that snow isn’t white, it just looks that way.
* She knows that Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was almost definitely a girl.
But Harriet’s favourite season is extra special this year because four days ago she had her First Ever Kiss.
Now she just needs to work out what's supposed to happen next …
A romantic festive GEEK GIRL special! Click here to read more …
Acknowledgements
Thanks first to my wonderful agent, Kate Shaw. You have stuck by both Harriet and me with unwavering dedication and affection from the start, and this series wouldn’t exist without you. I will always be grateful.
Thanks to my editor Lizzie Clifford: the genius wizard behind the curtain that my readers can’t see, but who is so essential to the magic in my books. I am a better writer (and more of a geek) because of you.
Thanks to Ruth Alltimes, an integral and beloved part of the Geek Girl universe, to Lily Morgan for her eagle-like copy-editing eye, and to Kate Clarke, Elisabetta Barbazza and Mary Kate McDevitt for their wonderful and frankly iconic front covers. Thanks, as always, to the whole of Team Geek at HarperCollins: to Rachel, Hannah, Nicola, Paul, Simon, Sam, Carla, Alison, Geraldine, Sonia, Catherine, Mary, Camilla and Jo. I remain in awe of how tirelessly and creatively you work to bring Harriet to the world.
Finally, thanks to my amazing family: Mum, Dad, Tara, Dan, Grandad, Grandma, Lesley, Judith, Robin, Lorraine, Veronique, Caroline, Louise, Adrien, Vincent, Freya, Ellen, Mayne, Dixie, Buddy, Handsome and Ghost.
You are the rock this castle is built on.
Thank you. x
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Holly Smale, Head Over Heels