Her Wolf by Rebecca Royce
After they stunned me with their magic while I waited for you, I managed to limp off into the woods. When I woke up I was in the back of an animal control truck on my way to New Jersey with no way to shift back. Whatever they did to me with their magic, they trapped me in this form and it’s been agony. Why have none of you ever tried to come home, Victoria?
“Mary Jo told us to go live our lives as humans. She said our magic would keep us safe as long as we were not together. So we split up, the little girls sent to orphanages and homes. I don’t know where they are. I thought to wait until the danger was over and I could come home.” Victoria turned to Ashlee. She had a small smile on her face.
“I was so lost at first. Live as a human? What did that mean? We’d been raised to fear exposure, to stay away from spending too much time out amongst non-shifters. Kendrick could barely stand the shifters whose mates were humans. Mary Jo sent me to New York City. It was horrible at first. Where were the places to run as a wolf? There was so much noise, so many people. I worked odd jobs. I waitressed, but I broke everything I touched and I couldn’t keep orders straight. Finally, a woman I met on the subway who took pity on me got me a job at Columbia Presbyterian in the cafeteria. I sliced off the top half of my finger and that’s how I met Scott. And the wolf wants what it wants. My mate was human. Kendrick would hate me and I could care less.” Ashlee’s mom looked up and smiled at her. “I had you and your sister and I did not need to go back. I made myself forget.”
Ashlee had heard that story before. But they’d said her mother had been a student earning extra cash at the hospital. This version was very different.
Rex’s head jerked up. “Sister?”
Her mother’s eyes flared and Ashlee knew that whatever she was about to say would be her mother’s final word on the subject. Twenty-two years had taught Ashlee to be careful of her mother’s stubborn streak. “She is in college, and I will not give her to the pack until she is at least Ashlee’s age, and then only if she has a mate, as Ashlee does. I won’t have her passed around the group of you just because you’re lonesome for female companionship.“
Ashlee took a deep breath and cut off Rex’s response. She stared straight at Tristan, the word she uttered being of the utmost importance. “I can’t be your mate, Tristan. I can’t have any children. You’ll want to find someone else.”
Her father looked sad. “The doctors have told us that Ashlee’s reproductive organs, her ovaries and her uterus, simply do not work. Pregnancy is impossible without ovulation and the doctors aren’t sure her uterus could support a pregnancy even with someone else’s egg. It’s malformed.” Ashlee groaned. She hated when her father talked about what was such a personal, terrible fact of her life as if it was simply another medical discussion.
Tears stung the back of Ashlee’s eyes, but she did not shed them. She’d gone down this road before. Tom had been so sure his family would never accept him marrying a barren woman that he’d gone and cheated on her with some girl who worked at the Dairy Queen, and the ultimate irony of the whole thing was that he had knocked her up. Ashlee didn’t even know Tristan. Losing him couldn’t possibly be as great a loss as losing Tom over her infertility.
I don’t care.
“You don’t care?” Ashlee and her mother spat out at the same time.
No.
Her mother narrowed her eyes at Tristan. “You male shifters are all about the mating and the babies. How can you not care?”
Tristan made a snorting noise and opened his eyes. I could make generalities about female shifters; would you like that, Victoria?
Her mother shook her head and said nothing else.
Rex advanced on her mother, his hand on his hip. “You should have brought your daughters to us the second they were born. They should have been raised on our island. With the pack.”
Her father, always the peacemaker, spoke softly. “We considered it. But Vicki was worried that since you didn’t seek her out, the danger might not be gone. which evidently it isn’t,. Also, Ashlee attached so early on to Tom that we thought he must be her mate.” Who is Tom?
Ashlee pushed Tristan gently off her lap and stood. She walked to the other side of the room. “It doesn’t matter. He’s gone now. He married someone else. I don’t know about this mate thing.” She still needed to clarify some things in her own mind. She turned to her mother. “There was nothing about me as a child that led you to believe I could be like you?”
Her mother shook her head. “Other than the dreams that your father just reminded me of, no, there was not. Don’t forget ,Ashlee, I had no one to guide me in raising a half-shifter. I had no idea what to look for or how to tell. You were an imaginative, smart, wonderful little girl. But when you didn’t start to rage around puberty, when you didn’t start to demand release from our parental bounds, I didn’t think you had the wolf in you.” Ashlee sucked in her breath. A sudden thought occurred to her. “But Summer raged. She still does. She defies you at every turn.” Her mother nodded slowly. “Oh, I see, you thought I was normal but you didn’t believe Summer was.”
“And that’s why we’ve had to be so hard on her, so controlling of where she goes and who she knows. I know she’s got the wolf. But I won’t let it come out, not until she’s mature enough to protect herself.”
It all started to make sense to Ashlee. She needed to say something and she wasn’t sure she could. She swallowed and clenched her fists at her side. “You’ve never understood my nature.” Ashlee’s voice wavered and she forced herself to pull it together.
She pointed at her father. “But you should have.”
Her father looked down and her mother put her hands on her hips. “What do you mean Ash?”
Ashlee placed her hands over her heart. “I rage here.” Her voice came out a whisper but she knew enough now to know that with their wolf hearing they all heard what she said. She wasn’t finished. Tristan needed an answer from her. “I’ve just met you and I don’t even know what you look like as a human.” Except in my dreams, she added silently.
All of this we will work out when we get back home. Rex, call Michael. I cannot. Rex nodded and followed Ashlee’s father from the room.
Her mother turned around, her expression stricken. “Ash, do you want to go to
Maine with Trip and Rex?”
Ashlee said nothing for a moment. Did she? This could be a chance to start again. Hadn’t she just been thinking that morning that it was time to move forward? Her hands tingled. “If all of this is true, then I think I should go see it for myself, don’t you? But I want your promise, Tristan, that I can leave anytime I want.” Her mother smiled proudly at her request.
His eyes turned gentle when he looked at Ashlee. Anytime. I would not hold you against your will. Ever.
She sighed in relief.
“Trip, I implore you, she has been raised entirely as a human. That’s my fault, my decision. She knows nothing of our ways. Please treat her kindly. Her wolf must be very strong if it’s forcing visions on her without her ever having shifted. Perhaps I should come with her.”
Victoria, we revere our mates. Have you been gone so long you cannot remember? We will work out Ashlee’s shift when we get to Westervelt. You are welcome to come; it is your home, always.
Ashlee’s father shook his head. “No.” Her mother looked up, shocked. “If Ashlee does this thing, it’s her experience to have. We’ve hidden her from herself. We’ll not interfere in her mating.”
Victoria’s voice shook but she held her stance. “I had other reasons for keeping her from the pack and not letting her come into contact with magic. I would not have her mated to a man who can be bewitched to kill her.” Her mother held her head high but fear simmered in her eyes. Ashlee’s eyes widened. These people were royalty to her mother and yet she stood up to them.
I would kill myself before that happened.
“You would doom both of you to death, then?”
She could choose to follow or not, like my aunts di
“And condemn her to a torturous existence?” Her mother advanced on the wolf. “You are your father’s son; how can you be so sure of what you would do?” Silence filled the room, the kind that usually precipitated one of her mother’s explosions, but Tristan lay down, his head on the floor.
I am my mother’s son.
“Let’s hope so, shall we?”
Tristan watched Ashlee go upstairs to pack a bag. Her mother had told her to pack enough clothes for a week. She would be gone much longer than a week, if Tristan had anything to say about it. She was his mate, it was true, but the problems that both Ashlee and Victoria had brought up were legitimate.
What if she didn’t think he was handsome?
What if she wanted to leave to lead a life away from the pack? That one was easy. He would leave with her. If Vicki could live off-island as a human for decades, so could he, once he was turned back to his human form. He would gladly go wherever Ashlee wanted.
But Vicki’s greatest charge still rang in his ears. Was he his father’s son? Could a witch wielding dark magic force him to harm his beloved? No. His uncles had resisted. So could he.
He hoped.
3
Rex was loaded up on painkillers and out cold in the backseat of her mother’s minivan. She had insisted they use the van because it had better safety features than Ashlee’s SUV. She’d shoved the keys in Ashlee’s hand before quietly whispering that she shouldn’t worry about finding Tristan handsome, because Trip had always been a ‘babe.’
Ashlee had grimaced at that remark. It was gross that her mother had once been in a position to notice whether or not Tristan was handsome in that way. But truthfully, it wasn’t the weirdest part of the whole situation, so she might as well let it go.
Tristan lay across the front seat, eyes closed, panting heavily.
She’d been driving for four hours and was about to enter the Boston area. Her eyelids felt heavy; they drooped as she concentrated on not letting them shut. Her parents had wanted them to stay the night at their house, but the idea of poor Tristan having to spend any more time than necessary stuck as a wolf seemed cruel to her. Now she wished she’d taken them up on their offer. She needed to pull over to sleep or find a hotel. But what kind of hotel could she bring a wolf and a drugged-up, injured man into at six in the morning? Her lids fluttered. She jerked them open and turned up the air conditioner. Even with the cold air hitting her in the face at full blast, she could barely keep her eyes open.
What’s the matter, little one?
Ashlee jumped an inch in her seat and laughed. She looked down at Tristan, his eyes wide. She’d thought he was asleep.
“I’m falling asleep at the wheel. We need to stop.”
I’m so tired of being trapped like this. I should be driving. You should rest. You’ve been through an ordeal.
She shook her head. “I think you’ve been through more of an ordeal than me.” Rex, wake up!
Rex leaped in his seat, eyes wide. “What is it, big brother?” He rubbed his eyes.
Is your head clear?
“It can’t possibly be, Tristan. My Dad gave him a whole bunch of pills.”
We absorb painkillers differently than humans. My brother should be more than able to handle the wheel. Look—there’s a truck stop at the next exit and we can stop.
“I’ll drive.” Rex nodded. Ashlee pulled the car into the truck stop and let Rex get in the front. She climbed into the backseat and Tristan climbed over the center console to be with her.
“Is Rex your real name?” Seemed a little funny that his name was Rex when he spent time as a canine. Ashlee remembered reading kid stories where the dog was almost always named Rex.
“No. Randolph Kane, at your service.” He gave her a mock salute in the rearview mirror. She laughed and Tristan growled.
“His jealousy will subside after you perform the mating ritual. Then you’ll be able to speak to other males and not worry that his head is going to spin off.”
A warm fuzzy feeling spread through Ashlee. She’d never had anyone act jealous about her before.
Sleep. Tristan lay across the floor in front of her.
Now that she wasn’t driving, she felt wired, her heart pounded in her chest and she couldn’t settle down. “I don’t think I can.”
You can. Shut your eyes, my Ashlee. You’ll be out in minutes.
“You’re creative with the endearments.” But she obliged him by closing her eyes.
Ashlee?
She opened her eyes. “I told you I wouldn’t be able to sleep.”
We’ve arrived at the ferry. You’ve been asleep for five hours, little one. He made a snort that had to be the wolf version of a laugh. Ashlee sat up and stretched her neck. Her muscles felt stiff. She must have slept in the same position for the whole five hours.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep for so long, Rex.”
He shrugged. “I like driving. This thing actually gets great gas mileage.”
Ashlee peered out the window at her surroundings. They were parked at a boat dock, although no boat was in sight. An old decrepit wooden shack stood to the left of the dock. She opened her door and stepped out. “Ooh.” She shivered and rubbed her arms. It was much colder in Maine than in New Jersey. The colors of the leaves varied from a deep brown and red to gold, even purple, a strange occurrence for so early in the season, especially since back at home they were still green.
The wind chased about her and she shivered again. Rex walked up next to her and leaned on the van. He wore her father’s black sweatpants and grey sweatshirt, which were small on him, as if his clothes had shrunk in the dryer.
Tristan rubbed against her legs and she looked down at him. She patted his head absentmindedly and he closed his eyes under her touch. She smiled.
“Does it feel good to be almost home?”
I will feel better when we get off the boat and onto our land. Rex, go get the cage. I hear the boat.
Rex nodded and walked to the back of the boathouse. He emerged with a metal cage that he quickly opened.
Ashlee’s heart thumped in her chest. “Why do you have to be caged?”
The man who runs the ferry doesn’t know who we are. He thinks this is a wolf preserve and that we run it. He would be very unhappy with a wolf running loose on his boat.
“Oh.” She really hated the idea of Tristan caged. But he didn’t seem to mind. He walked into the metal cage and Rex snapped the door shut.
“Lucky us, Ashlee.” He winked. “Only way to keep him contained.” Tristan growled. “I joke, big brother, that’s all.”
Ashlee shivered again, but this time not from the cold. Hadn’t Tristan thought Rex betrayed him? What did she really know of Rex, anyway? Not that she knew Tristan either. Ashlee’s pulse sped up and her stomach twisted. Why had she thought it was a good idea to come to this place?
The boat flowed smoothly in the water alongside the dock. It looked like a small fishing vessel, the kind she’d seen in Martha’s Vineyard when they’d vacationed there a decade ago. It didn’t seem like a ferry. Wooden and old, it let out a puff of black smoke when it came to a complete stop.
“Don’t worry, it’ll float. And don’t talk to Trip on the way over there. The seaman will think you’re nuts. We have to replace them every five years as it is so they don’t notice that we don’t age.” Rex whispered.
“Why don’t some of you just learn to drive a boat? You could send one of those telepathic messages across the water: ‘send speed boat now.’” Ashlee looked at the rough dark water they were about to cross. Not that she wanted to pilot the boat. She wasn’t volunteering or anything.
Rex shrugged. “We have a lot of things we need to update around here, customs, like the ferryman, which haven’t been changed in way too long. One of us should become a boat captain, but the telepathy thing, it doesn’t work over long distances like that.”
Ashlee nodded. “Oh.” What else needed to be updated? Were they living in huts with no i
“Got a wolf you’re bringing over, Mister Kane?” The old sailor seemed straight out of a movie. He wore a patch over his left eye. His hair, completely white, thinned in the back. He wore a black rain slicker and overalls.
“I do, Peter. Not to worry, he’s properly caged. Plus this one’s been castrated. He’s not going to harm anyone.” Ashlee heard Tristan give a low growl in the cage. She wanted desperately to reach through the cage bars and touch him. But, you didn’t do that to regular wolves, and it wouldn’t do to make the captain suspicious. “This is Ashlee Morrison. She’s joining us at the Institute.”
“Welcome.” Peter extended his hand and she shook it. “Where is your coat?”
“Packed.” She hoped she had remembered to pack her coat.
“Why don’t you go below where it’s warmer?”
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.” She wasn’t leaving Tristan and Rex. She stood by the railing and looked out at the water as the boat slowly plowed over the sea. The water was choppy. In general, she didn’t get seasick, but this ride pushed even her limits. The boat rocked right and shook left as the vessel groaned beneath them. Ashlee scanned the deck for life preservers and didn’t see any.
She stared out in the distance and watched as the island got closer. There it was: Wolf Island—they had called it Westervelt—where wolf-shifters had lived for a century unbothered by mankind. The place her mother had fled in the middle of the night in a run for her life. Visions of a young woman, huddled over, hidden, terrified, knowing that she might never come home again filled Ashlee’s mind.
One lone tear slipped from the vision of young Victoria’s eye and Ashlee sucked in her breath. It seemed so real, what she’d imagined. Ashlee wanted to reach out and grab the young woman and assure her that a young man doing his Emergency Room rotation—her mate—waited in New York City to sew up the top of her finger after she cut it off at the cafeteria job she worked. But the vision waned and Ashlee was brought back to her current situation.