Hot Stuff by Janet Evanovich
Cate wrapped herself in her terry robe and followed him out. “I have a huge favor to ask.”
“Anything.”
“I’m worried about Beast. I’m afraid Marty will come back and take Beast.”
“Cate, I know you love Beast, but technically he’s Marty’s dog.”
Not that it mattered to Kellen. If Cate wanted to keep Beast she was going to keep Beast, and Kellen knew he would do whatever was necessary to make it happen.
“He doesn’t know Marty,” Cate said. “And he’s just a baby. And Marty is a thief. And maybe even a murderer. Suppose he pushed his agent down the stairs.” Cate squeezed out a tear. “That’s not the sort of man who should have a dog like Beast.”
Kellen grinned. “You had to work hard to squeeze that tear out. You’re manipulating me.”
“Is it working?”
“Yep.” He pulled on socks and laced up his sneakers. “Get a doggy bag together for me. Remember, I’m the guy with the great house and no food or dishes. I’ve got a full morning, and I think I have an early afternoon meeting, and then I’m free. Do you want me to keep Beast at my house, or do you want me to bring him back here tonight?”
“I want you to keep him at your house until things are settled.”
Kellen wasn’t an expert on fairy tales, but he was pretty sure the knight in shining armor wasn’t supposed to be guarding the distressed damsel’s dragon.
Cate had Julie’s pages everywhere . . . on the floor, on the dining room table, on the kitchen counters. She’d been working all morning at numbering them and putting them in order. While she’d been organizing she’d been reading. Julie was telling the story of a small-town girl struggling to find herself in a big city. She talked about her mama and her cousins and the pain and the excitement of leaving them. She talked about the people who passed under her window. She talked about being lonely and poor and feeling rich and being in love with life. She talked about her friends and her job on the trolley, and in some mysterious way it all was bound together into a story with a beginning and a middle and an end.
Cate thought it was amazing. Julie had written a book. And it was good. It had some rough edges but that was part of the charm. Just like it was part of Julie’s charm. Scratch the surface of the down-home girl and you found a complex person with a surprising understanding of human nature. Easy to underestimate someone like Julie, Cate thought as she collected the pages. Julie walked and talked country, and Cate realized Julie sometimes used that image to her advantage. She even had a term for it. Country sneaky.
“Just ’cause you don’t use big words, don’t mean you’re stupid,” Cate said to the empty condo, adding the last couple of pages to her stack and securing it all with a giant rubber band.
The manuscript needed to go from Julie’s scrawl to neatly typed pages, and probably there was a standard format writers used, Cate thought. And probably she could get the information online.
She made herself a peanut butter sandwich and leaned against the counter while she ate. She looked down at the floor. No Beast water bowl. She’d given it to Kellen, along with Beast’s food and toys and vitamins and toothbrush and treats. The condo felt sterile without Beast. No snuffling, slobbering noises. No warm dog body pressing against her leg. Hard to believe Beast was delivered just three days ago. It felt like he’d always been part of her life. And what about Kellen? That relationship was four days old, and already Kellen had moved into her bed and her heart. How had that happened?
The doorbell rang and Cate had a moment of panic. On the one hand she wanted it to be Marty so she could get some answers. On the other hand she was dreading the charade.
She had both hands’ fingers crossed on the way to the door. “Don’t let it be Marty,” she chanted. “Don’t let it be Marty!”
She looked out the peephole and grimaced. There was good news and bad news. The good news was that Marty wasn’t standing in the hall. The bad news was that Kitty Bergman was out there, backed up by two large men in dark suits.
Cate opened the door a crack. “Yes?” she said to Kitty.
“What’s with the fancy lock?” Kitty wanted to know. “Do you think you have something to protect? Something to hide?”
Without waiting for an answer, Kitty pushed past Cate into the condo with the two men on her heels.
“If you’re looking for Marty,” Cate said, “he isn’t here.”
“I know he isn’t here,” Kitty said. “I just talked to him and he asked me to come get his dog.”
Cate’s heart gave a painful contraction. “Beast isn’t here.”
“Well, where is he?”
“He’s visiting with a friend.”
“Yeah, I almost believe that,” Kitty said. She flicked her eyes to the two men. “Search for the dog. And bring his food and dog bowls.”
“Why didn’t Marty come to get his dog?” Cate asked.
“Marty’s busy.”
The two men returned to the living room.
“The dog isn’t here,” the one guy said. “And we couldn’t find any dog things. No food or bowls or anything.”
“Maybe you’re not as dumb as you look,” Kitty said to Cate.
“I didn’t know I looked dumb,” Cate said.
“Where’s the dog?”
“I told you he’s at a friend’s house.”
Kitty looked like she might lunge forward at any moment and grab Cate by the neck and start squeezing. “Does your friend have a name?”
“Yes,” Cate said.
“Would you like to tell me your friend’s name?”
“No,” Cate said. “I don’t feel comfortable with this. If Marty wants his dog he’s going to have to show up in person.”
“Are you suggesting you don’t trust me with Marty’s dog?” Kitty Bergman asked, eyes narrowed.
“I just don’t understand why Marty isn’t here. If he’s in town, why didn’t he come home?”
“I told you. He’s busy. Now be a good girl and get the dog. I’m sure he’s somewhere in the building. With the realtor? With Miss Party Trolley?”
“He’s not with either of them.”
“I’m losing patience,” Kitty said. “I’m going to count to five. If I’m not satisfied with the information I’ve received from you by the time I get to five, I’m going to walk out of this condo and leave you with my two friends. They can be very persuasive.”
“I don’t get it,” Cate said. “Why is Beast so important? Marty’s never even seen him.”
“Yes,” Kitty said. “But Marty’s already emotionally attached. And as his friend I feel obligated to get him his dog.”
One of the men wrapped his hand around Cate’s arm. “Wait in the hall,” he said to Kitty. “We’ll take care of this.”
Kitty Bergman opened the condo front door to go into the hall, and Julie and Patrick Pugg tumbled in.
“Thank you,” Julie said. “We was out there wonderin’ how we were gonna get through the lock. Cate told me how to do it, but I forgot.”
Pugg looked to Julie. “Pugg is in hero mode now. Pugg needs to be Pugg. Pugg would like a temporary amnesty on nuts rearrangement.”
“Amnesty granted,” Julie said.
“Unhand her,” Pugg said to the guy holding Cate’s arm.
The guy smiled. “Who’s gonna make me?”
“Pugg will make you. Pugg is no one to be trifled with,” Pugg said.
“Haw!” the guy said. “That’s a good one.”
“This is silly,” Cate said. “Let’s not get all carried away.”
“Oh for God’s sake,” Kitty said. “Can we please get on with this?” She pointed to goon number two. “You! Get rid of the fat bumpkin and the bridge troll.”
“Excuse me,” Julie said. “Are you referrin’ to me? Because I am not fat. I’m ample. And I’m not goin’ anywhere. You’re the one who needs to be goin’. I think you’ve worn out your welcome here.”
Kitty had taken a wide stance in her Louboutin slingb
Goon number two reached for Julie, and Pugg jumped up and punched him in the nose. Since Pugg was a foot shorter than goon number two it wasn’t much of a punch.
Goon number two looked down at Pugg. “What the heck do you think you’re doing?”
“Pugg is protecting his women,” Pugg said.
“I don’t think so,” the goon said. “I think you and bumpkin’s gonna get removed, so we can have it nice and peaceful while we slap the redhead around.”
“Pugg will be forced to punch you in the nose again unless you leave the premises this instant,” Pugg said.
The goon blew out a sigh, like Pugg was being a trial. “Ms. Bergman,” goon number two said, “would you please open the door for me?”
Kitty opened the door, and goon number two grabbed Pugg by the seat of his pants and threw him out the door, into the hall.
“Ow,” Pugg said. “Pugg got a wedgie.”
“I hope you aren’t plannin’ on doing that to me,” Julie said to goon number two, “because that would be real rude.”
“Guess I’m just a rude kind of guy,” goon number two said, moving toward Julie.
Julie pulled a semiautomatic 9mm out of her shoulder bag and aimed it at goon number two’s privates.
“Holy cow,” Cate said. “Where’d you get a gun?”
“Where I come from everybody’s got a gun.” Julie looked at Cate. “Honey, don’t you have a gun?”
“No.”
“Well darn, that’s part of your problem here. What do you think you got a peephole for? It’s to see whether you need to answer the door with your gun in your hand.”
“You won’t use that gun,” goon number two said.
“I can pick off a river rat at fifty paces,” Julie said. “I wouldn’t have any problem shootin’ you in the wiener, however small and insignificant it might be. And you should be happy it’s not my Aunt Tess standing here. Loogie Bayard got drunk and broke into Aunt Tess’s house one night, and tried to have his way with her, and Aunt Tess took the meat mallet to him. He was a terrible mess. She even cracked his glass eye. Not that it was worth much. Loogie got it at the VA hospital, and it was always wanderin’ around lookin’ in the wrong direction.”
Everyone stood for a moment digesting that information.
“You haven’t heard the end of this,” Kitty said to Cate. “I want that dog.” And Kitty turned on her heel and swished out of the condo with the two men close behind. Pugg, who was standing outside, edged his way back in.
Cate closed and locked the door after them and gave a small hysterical giggle. “Yikes.”
“And double yikes,” Julie said. “What was that about?”
“The dog,” Cate said. “Kitty said Marty asked her to get the dog.”
“That’s a lot of baloney,” Julie said. “That woman never did a favor for nobody. She wouldn’t come fetchin’ a dog for Marty. You told me they weren’t even getting’ along.” Julie looked around. “Where is the big guy? Where’s Beast?”
“I sent him home with Kellen.”
“Lucky thing I was lookin’ out the window when Kitty and the goon squad trooped into the building,” Julie said. “I thought they looked like they were up to no good, so I sent Pugg to see where they were goin’. When he found out they were in with you, we came right away.”
Pugg adjusted his underwear. “Pugg hopes you don’t mind,” Pugg said to Cate, “but Pugg has transferred his affections to Julie. Julie came across.”
“He’d be a keeper in my hometown,” Julie said by way of explanation.
“Yes, but this is Boston!” Cate said.
“He has some good points,” Julie said. “He’s a real hard worker, if you know what I mean. And it’s hard to tell for sure what’s under all that fur, but I bet he’d clean up okay if you gave him a whole-body wax.”
The doorbell rang again and everyone went raised eyebrows. The lock clicked, and Kellen pushed the door open.
“I needed a break, so I thought I’d stop in and say hello,” Kellen said.
“Pugg needs to get back to work now that his job as hero is done,” Pugg said.
“I’ll walk you out,” Julie said. “And don’t you worry I’m gonna make sure nobody gives you a wedgie but me from now on.”
“I have a feeling I missed something,” Kellen said when Julie and Pugg had left.
“Kitty Bergman was here with two henchmen. She wanted Beast. She said Marty sent her.”
“Kitty Bergman doing errands for Marty?”
“Yeah, that’s what Julie said. Doesn’t compute. Anyway, things were starting to get ugly until Julie arrived and threatened to shoot off everyone’s privates.”
Kellen grinned. “Julie had a gun?”
“She said she could nail a river rat at fifty paces.”
“There’s no doubt in my mind,” Kellen said. “I ran a check on the house on Commonwealth. It’s owned by a holding company. And I was able to trace the holding company back to Ronald Bergman.”
“Big surprise.”
“Ronald is at the present time raping a forest in Central America and probably doesn’t even know he owns the house.”
“So you think Kitty and Marty use the house as a stopover for stolen stuff?”
“It’s possible.”
Kellen didn’t like where this was going. Bad enough that Kitty was probably crooked, but now she seemed to be targeting Cate.
“And what about Beast? Hard to believe they want him for his guard dog skills.”
“I already looked into Beast. The kennel owner seems to know Marty. He said Marty was in a couple weeks ago looking for a dog. He took a couple out for a walk and chose Beast. The kennel owner said he gave Marty a break on the price because Beast wasn’t show quality and didn’t totally have a guard dog personality. I’ve looked at Beast’s collar. It’s standard issue from the kennel. No secret pouch filled with stolen diamonds.”
“What about his water bowl?”
“I assumed you bought it in some doggie boutique.”
“Nope. Marty sent it from Puerto Rico.”
“I’ll take a look at it when I get home. Did you tell Kitty I have Beast staying with me?”
“No.”
“One less thing to worry about,” Kellen said, looking at his watch. “I have to get back to the house. How do you feel about all this? Would you feel safer if you moved in with me? Or do you want to stay here?”
“I’ll stay here. I’m doing a project for Julie, and I have to leave for work in a couple hours. This is my night to do setup.”
Kellen pulled her to him. She was warm in his arms and smelled like cake. He kissed her gently, lingering just long enough to make it painful to pull away. “Wish I had more time,” he said. “Call me if you change your mind or need help.”
“Give Beast a hug for me.”
Chapter
THIRTEEN
A casual observer might look at the slightly paunchy man at the bar and think he was just another customer procrastinating the event of going home. The bar regulars knew the man was the bar owner, Gerald Evian. And Cate knew he only sat in this catatonic stupor when he was panicked. It was fifteen minutes to Marty’s first show and Marty was nowhere to be seen. Marty hadn’t called. Marty hadn’t e-mailed. Marty wasn’t answering his phone.
“I’m fucked,” Gerald Evian said.
Cate and Gina scurried away from Evian, refilling glasses, making sure no one was thirsty, and adding extra booze to the mixed drinks. In a half hour people would be demanding a drag queen, and they might be more forgiving if they were liquored up.
“Do you think Marty will show?” Gina asked Cate.
“No,” Cate said. “I think Marty’s in trouble.”
Julie had ordered Pugg to escort Cate to work and not let her out of his sigh
“Hey,” Pugg said to Cate. “What’s the name of the guy you rent from?”
“Marty Longfellow.”
“There was just a news flash about him. They fished him out of the Charles River.”
All eyes fixed on the television screen, but the scrolling headline had moved on to game scores.
“Are you sure?” Cate asked.
“It said South End drag queen Marty Longfellow was found washed ashore at the Boston University Bridge. Police were investigating.”
Cate felt her stomach go hollow. “Poor Marty.”
“I’m out of a job,” Gina said.
Evian nodded agreement. “And I’m truly fucked.”
“We need new entertainment,” Gina said.
“Pugg could tell jokes,” Pugg said. “Would you like to hear some of Pugg’s jokes?”
“No,” everyone said in unison.
Kellen strolled into the bar and smiled at Cate. “Closing time?”
“Yes. And we just heard about Marty.”
“What did you hear?”
“That they found his body washed ashore at the BU Bridge.”
“That’s not entirely correct,” Kellen said. “I’ve been listening to the police band. Someone found Marty’s wig and a high-heeled pump size fourteen and Marty’s evening purse with identification inside at the water’s edge. They’re dragging the river near the scene, looking for a body.”
Cate gave an involuntary shiver at the thought of the police dragging the river for Marty’s body. Somehow it was even worse than having Marty’s body wash ashore.
“You can leave,” Evian said to Cate and Gina. “I’ll close up. Give me something to do besides think about bankruptcy.”
“Thanks for waiting,” Cate said to Pugg when they were outside.
“Pugg had strict instructions not to let you out of Pugg’s sight. Pugg shudders to think what would happen to him if he didn’t follow instructions. Pugg would be cut off from Julie’s affections. Pugg would be left to his own devices for sexual gratification.”