How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny by Joyce Meyer
How did Joseph get from the pit to the palace? I believe it was by remaining positive, refusing to be bitter, being confident and trusting God. Even though it looked like he was defeated on many occasions, he kept standing up on the inside.
Joseph had a right attitude. Without a right attitude, a person can start in the palace and end up in the pit, which actually happens to a lot of people. Some, it seems, have great opportunities given to them, and they do nothing with their lives, while others who get a very bad start in life, overcome all obstacles and succeed.
Joseph was a dreamer; he made big plans. (Genesis 37:5-10.) The devil does not want us to have dreams and visions of better things. He wants us to sit around and be “do-nothings.”
I challenge you to make your mind up right now to do something great for God. No matter where you started, you can have a great finish. If people have mistreated and abused you, don’t waste your time trying to get revenge — leave them in God’s hands and trust Him to bring justice in your life.
Know what you want out of life, what you want to do. Don’t be vague! To be confident means to be bold, open, plain and straightforward — that does not sound like a vague, sheepish, fearful individual who is uncertain about everything. Decide to leave your mark in this world. When you depart from this earth, people should know that you have been here.
Every time I put hundreds of hours into a book project, I believe that people will be reading the book long after I am gone from the earth. I believe people will be watching my videos and listening to my tapes fifty, one hundred or even several hundred years from now, if the Lord should tarry. Believing that helps energize me to do the work that is involved in each project. I want to leave a legacy here in the earth when I go home to be with the Lord.
Now let’s talk about a man in the Bible who lost his confidence. This is one of my favorite stories in God’s Word.
“DON’T JUST LIE THERE,DO SOMETHING!”__________________
Later on there was a Jewish festival (feast) for which Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
Now there is in Jerusalem a pool near the Sheep Gate. This pool in the Hebrew is called Bethesda, having five porches (alcoves, colonnades, doorways).
In these lay a great number of sick folk — some blind, some crippled, and some paralyzed (shriveled up) — waiting for the bubbling up of the water.
For an angel of the Lord went down at appointed seasons into the pool and moved and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was cured of whatever disease with which he was afflicted.
There was a certain man there who had suffered with a deep-seated and lingering disorder for thirty-eight years.
When Jesus noticed him lying there [helpless], knowing that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, Do you want to become well? [Are you really in earnest about getting well?]
The invalid answered, Sir, I have nobody when the water is moving to put me into the pool; but while I am trying to come [into it] myself, somebody else steps down ahead of me.
Jesus said to him, Get up! Pick up your bed (sleeping pad) and walk!
Instantly the man became well and recovered his strength and picked up his bed and walked….
John 5:1-9
Why had this man been lying there thirty-eight years? It was because he was not only sick in his body, he was also sick in his soul. Sicknesses of the soul are much worse, and sometimes harder to deal with, than sicknesses of the body. I believe his condition (body and soul) had stolen his confidence. Having no confidence, he never really tried to do anything, at least not in an aggressive manner.
Notice that when Jesus asked him if he was in earnest about getting well, his answer was, “Sir, I have nobody to help me into the water. Somebody else always gets ahead of me.” I have to believe that in thirty-eight years he could have scooted to the edge of the pool and been ready to fall in when the angel came and stirred up the water.
People who have lost their confidence usually become passive and even lazy. They don’t believe they can do anything, so they want everyone else to do things for them.
Jesus did not stand and pity the man. Instead, He gave a very specific instruction. “Get up! Pick up your bed and walk!” In other words, “Don’t just lie there, do something!”
Do you have a physical affliction that makes you feel insecure? Are you allowing circumstances to steal your initiative? Do you lack confidence because you are single or because you don’t have a college education? Are you feeling sorry for yourself instead of standing up on the inside and being determined to overcome every obstacle?
Jesus knew self-pity would not deliver the man, so He didn’t feel sorry for him. He had compassion on him, and that is different from emotional pity. Jesus wasn’t being harsh, hard or mean — He was trying to get the man set free!
Self-pity can be a major problem. I know, because I lived in self-pity for many years, and it was a problem for me, my family and the plan of God for my life. God finally told me that I could be pitiful or I could be powerful, but I could not be both. If I wanted to be powerful, I had to give up self-pity.
Like Joseph, I felt I had been thrown into a pit. Sexually abused for approximately fifteen years and growing up in a dysfunctional home had left me lacking confidence and filled with shame. I wanted to be in the palace (have good things in my life), but I seemed stuck in the pit (of emotional torment and despair).
“Why me, God?” was the cry of my heart, and it filled my thoughts and affected my attitude daily. This troubled mind and defeatist attitude caused me to have a chip on my shoulder and to expect everyone else to fix my problem. I felt like I was due something for the way I had been treated in life, but I was looking to people to pay me back when I should have been looking to God.
Like the man in John 5, Jesus did not give me pity either. He was actually very stern with me — but it was a turning point in my life. I am not in the pit any longer — I now have a great life. Like Lazarus coming out of the tomb, I shook off the graveclothes and began standing up on the inside.
“CAST OFF THE GRAVECLOTHES!”__________________
And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.
And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.
John 11:43,44 KJV
When Jesus called Lazarus from the dead, He said, Lazarus, come forth. Then He said a second thing, “Take off his graveclothes.”
Many people are born again, they have been raised to new life, yet they have never entered into that new life because they have the graveclothes of the past wrapped about them.
Be firm. Make a decision. Set your mind, stand up on the inside, and you also can go from the “pit to the palace.”
WILT THOU BE MADE WHOLE?__________________
There was a certain man there who had suffered with a deep-seated and lingering disorder for thirty-eight years.
When Jesus noticed him lying there [helpless], knowing that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, Do you want to become well? [Are you really in earnest about getting well?]
John 5:5,6
The King James Version of John 5:6 words Jesus’ question to the man as, …Wilt thou be made whole?
If you and I want to get well (get over the past), we must do things God’s way. I have great compassion for people reading this book — for you — and I say the same thing to you that the Lord said to me:
You can be pitiful or you can be powerful!
Stop comparing your circumstances with those of someone who is better off than you are. Find someone who is worse off than you are, and then you will feel better. Look at people who are in a better situation than you are only to get a vision of where you can be, not to compare yourself with them. Stand up on the inside and tell yourself, “God is no respecter of persons; if He did good things f
Don’t let your thoughts be down and negative, speak positively about your future. When you find it necessary to speak of the unpleasant past, always say, “God will work it out for my good.”
SHAKE IT OFF!__________________
Now Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and he was laying them on the fire when a viper crawled out because of the heat and fastened itself on his hand.
When the natives saw the little animal hanging from his hand, they said to one another, Doubtless this man is a murderer, for though he has been saved from the sea, Justice [the goddess of avenging] has not permitted that he should live.
Then [Paul simply] shook off the small creature into the fire and suffered no evil effects.
Acts 28:3-5
When Paul and his traveling companions were shipwrecked on the island of Malta, he was gathering sticks to make a fire and dry out when he was bitten by a snake that had been driven out of the flames. The Bible says that he simply shook it off into the fire. You and I should do the same — we too should be bold inwardly and shake it off!
Whatever may be troubling you from the past, shake it off! God has a great future planned for you. The dreams of the future have no room for the snake bites of the past!
I am trying to build a fire in you that will never go out. Stir yourself up and refuse to take on a spirit of coldness and deadness. Fight those negative thoughts that are holding you in bondage. Jesus wants to make you whole. He doesn’t want to fix part of you, He wants to fix all of you: body, emotions, mouth, mind, attitude, will and spirit.
Jesus dealt with the man in John 5 in more than one area. He dealt with some issues in his soul before He healed his body. If we have sickness in our soul, it will continue showing up in our bodies in one way or another. We can receive healing in one area and have a problem pop up in another. We need to get to the root of our problems.
God wants to make you whole, completely whole. Don’t be satisfied with anything less. Keep pressing on until every area of your life is healed.
God is on your side, and if He is for you it really does not matter who is against you. The giants may be big, but God is bigger. You may have weaknesses, but God has strength. You may have sin in your life, but God has grace. You may fail, but God remains faithful!
Wilt thou be made whole? If so, examine every attitude and any that do not line up with the Word of God — eliminate!
BE PERSISTENT IN FAITH!__________________
…when the Son of Man comes, will He find [persistence in] faith on the earth?
Luke 18:8
We must deal sternly with our flesh — not allow it to rule. When Jesus comes back, He wants to find us in faith (confidence), not in self-pity or bitterness, fear or discouragement.
In this passage from Luke, Jesus asks, “When the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?” God is pleased with us as long as we keep believing. Our job is to maintain our confidence at a high level.
Will you make a decision to start living from faith to faith, from confidence to confidence? If you will, James 4:10 assures you that …[He will lift you up and make your lives significant].
Don’t you just love that Scripture? Satan hates it, but I love it. Hallelujah, He will lift you up and make your life significant! Believe it, receive it and be confident that it will come to pass.
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CONDEMNATION DESTROYS CONFIDENCE
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CONDEMNATION DESTROYS CONFIDENCE
And, beloved, if our consciences (our hearts) do not accuse us [if they do not make us feel guilty and condemn us], we have confidence (complete assurance and boldness) before God.
1 JOHN 3:21
In order to be bold, one must be confident. We have established that confidence is vital to success.
Everyone desires to be confident, and yet many people, perhaps even most people, have serious problems in this area. Why? There are many possible reasons: an abusive past, a poor self-image, ignorance of the love of God, rejection from family and peers, etc. But I believe one of the biggest reasons is condemnation.
We have spoken about the problem of condemnation in other parts of the book, but we need to devote an entire chapter to the subject because of the number of lives that are being wrecked by it.
WHAT IS CONDEMNATION?__________________
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
Romans 8:1 NKJV
In Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible the Greek word translated condemnation in this verse means an “adverse sentence.”1
Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words tells us the Greek noun krima translated condemnation “denotes (a) ‘the sentence pronounced, a verdict, a condemnation, the decision resulting from an investigation.’”2
The word translated condemn in various New Testament Scriptures means to “note against, i.e., find fault with — blame;”3“judge against;”4 “pronounce guilty;”5 “punish, damn.”6
In light of Romans 8:1, does this sound like the kind of activity we Christians ought to be engaged in — especially against ourselves?
EXCESSIVE SELF-EXAMINATION
Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?…
2 Corinthians 13:5 NKJV
The Bible tells us to examine ourselves, and I wholeheartedly agree that we need to do so. We should examine ourselves to see if we have sin, and if so we should sincerely repent, then move on to living without that sin in our lives.
There is a great difference between examination and condemnation. Examination helps us prove to ourselves that we are in Christ and He is in us, and that in Him we have been set free of sin. Condemnation keeps us mired in the very sin we feel condemned about. It does not deliver us — it traps us! It weakens us and saps all our spiritual strength. We give our energy to feeling condemned rather than living righteously.
There is such a thing as excessive self-examination, and I personally believe it opens the door for much of the unbalance we see today in this area among God’s children.
To be overly introspective and continually examining our every move opens a door to Satan. In the past I experienced multiple problems in this area, and I know for a fact that you and I cannot succeed at being ourselves until the problem is dealt with thoroughly and completely.
I can remember finding something wrong with almost everything I did. Either Satan accused me, or I made his job easy and did it to myself. If I spent time with friends, after I left them I always found something wrong that I had said or done. Then I began the cycle of guilt, those feelings of condemnation which always follow investigation and bring adverse judgment. I call it a cycle because when we allow this kind of bondage into our lives, it repeats itself over and over again. We no sooner get over one incident than another one comes up.
If I prayed, I never felt that I had prayed right or long enough. If I read my Bible, I felt I should have read more, or perhaps a different section. If I read a book that God was using to help me at the time and did not read my Bible first, then I felt condemned because I “probably should have read my Bible first and not a book.” If I went shopping, I felt condemned because I spent money or bought something that was not a desperate need. If I ate, I felt that I had eaten too much or the wrong things. If I enjoyed any type of entertainment, I felt that I should have been working.
Although some of these feelings were vague, they were none the less tormenting and debilitating. They were destroying my confidence, and I firmly believe Satan is using the same type of warfare to destroy many other people’s confidence.
My husband never went through these types of things. He hardly ever felt guilty. He simply dealt with issues in his life through prayer, repentance and believing the Word of God. He did not feel guilty when he made mistakes,
He did not sit around and examine himself all day long. There were times when I told him, “Dave, you should not have talked to those people in that tone of voice. You may have hurt their feelings.” His response would be, “Joyce, I was not trying to hurt their feelings — I was simply expressing myself. If they got hurt, it’s their fault, not mine.”
In such instances, he did not sense any conviction in his heart. As far as he knew, his heart was right, and he did not believe he should spend his life being responsible for everyone else’s emotional reactions and personal hang-ups.
This does not mean that Dave doesn’t care about people. He cares very much, but he is not going to let other people’s hypersensitivity and insecurity control him. He will pray for them, but he will not be controlled by them.
That is true freedom!
I, on the other hand, lived with a false sense of responsibility. I not only felt overly responsible for everything I did or even may have done wrong, but I also felt responsible for how everyone else responded. In my ministry to others there were numerous times when I found myself dealing with insecure, emotionally wounded people. My bold, straightforward personality and their wounds didn’t always mix well. I would just be myself, and they would get terribly hurt or offended. When I realized that something was wrong, I would feel condemned.