In the Middle of Nowhere (Willow's Journey #1) by Julie Ann Knudsen
I was finally turning sixteen on the sixteenth of January. My dad had always said that that was going to be my “special” birthday celebration. His birthday was March seventh, so his special birthday, he felt, occurred when he turned seven on the seventh.
He thought mine was much more exciting because I would be older and could appreciate the specialty of it even more. He would always joke, too, that he hoped I’d abide by the old saying, “sixteen and never been kissed.” My dad had told me time and time again that no man would ever be good enough for me, his little princess.
My sixteenth birthday was the very next day and I definitely achieved my dad’s hope of never being kissed, but it wasn’t necessarily my dream. Even so, I would have settled for “never, ever been kissed” just to have my dad around to celebrate my birthdays with me.
I tried not to make a big deal about my birthday, but I was very excited on the inside. It fell on a Saturday, so I was bummed that I wouldn’t be in school hanging out with my friends.
Plus, I wasn’t going to be able to get my driver’s permit until the DMV opened back up on Monday, if my mom let me try and take the test at all. Even though I could have gotten my permit at fifteen, according to Maine’s law, my mother said there was no way she would let me drive when I was only fifteen. She thought that even sixteen was too young for teens to be let loose and out on the roads.
When we first moved to Pike’s, she said she would consider letting me get my permit when I turned sixteen, but when I asked her right after Christmas, she changed her tune.
“In order to drive, Willow, you have to exhibit responsibility and after the way you left your brother home alone during the break, I’m not sure you’re ready for any kind of responsibility, especially getting behind the wheel of a four thousand pound, potentially deadly weapon.”
My mother was so over-dramatic. I had no comeback. How was I to know that my mother would end her shopping spree early and get home before me because she had a migraine?
I had only stayed at Tessa’s house for a couple of hours. We ordered pizza, ate it and checked out people’s MyWeb accounts on her laptop. I told her I had to get back before my mother got home, but didn’t tell her the other reason, which was that I wanted to leave before her brother resurfaced.
I knew I was in trouble the minute Tessa dropped me off. My mom’s car sat in the driveway. I quietly entered the house and closed the front door behind me. My brother was smack dab in front of the television just like I had left him. I was about to tiptoe upstairs to my room when my mother yelled to me from over on the couch where she lay, a damp washcloth draped across her forehead.
“Willow Ann Flynn!” Slowly she sat up. “Don’t you go anywhere!”
She scolded me, not only for leaving James, but also for forgetting to feed the cat. “Your cat!” she reminded me.
I was grounded the rest of vacation and was not able to meet up with Erica and Taylor after all. With nowhere else to go, I proceeded to stay home and either read and reread my books or surf the Internet. By the end of the week I was bored to tears. When the weekend came, my mom was home, too. When I asked her why she wasn’t out with Mr. Roberts, I mean, “Brian,” she said he was off somewhere, visiting relatives.
Thinking back, it now made sense why my mother promised me I could have the whole weekend to myself as long as I stayed home with James during the week. Brian was going to be gone and she wouldn’t have had anyone else to go out with. How convenient for her, I thought. And after all that bargaining and babysitting, I ended up being stuck inside the whole time anyway.
But I wasn’t going to let my worthless Christmas vacation put a damper on my special sixteenth birthday the next day. I got up bright and early that morning to ensure that I wouldn’t be running late for the ferry. I took extra time getting ready, picking out a new outfit that I had gotten for Christmas and hadn’t worn yet.
I tried to get through most of the day by staying calm and not letting my excitement show too much. I had made plans to go out with Erica, Taylor and two other girls from school for my birthday later that night. No one was available on Saturday evening, so we decided to hang out on Friday night instead. We were going to go to a local Italian restaurant for dinner and then to a movie afterwards.
I had planned on meeting up with Taylor and Erica during lunch so we could finalize my birthday plans, but neither of them showed up.
I sat at a table by myself, took a bite of my French bread pizza and texted both of them. Where could they be? Maybe they were in the library. I ate and waited, but no texts ever came back.
I looked around for the two other girls we were going to go with, Victoria and Megan, but I quickly remembered that neither of them was in our lunch wave.
I texted Erica and Taylor, again. I was just about to give up when Taylor texted me back.
“Sorry,” she wrote. “Something came up and Erica and I can’t make it to Luigi’s tonight. We’ll do it another night. Happy Birthday anyway!” She ended the text with a sad face.
Why the hell couldn’t they “make it” and, more importantly, where the hell were they? What was so important that they had to cancel my birthday plans the day of and why didn’t they tell me in person? I was fuming and crushing my empty chocolate milk container in my hand when someone appeared behind me.
“Whose head do you wish that was?”
I turned around to find Tessa alarmed and genuinely concerned for whomever I aimed my wrath.
She patted my shoulder. “You need to calm down, Willow. I’m sure it’s not that bad,” she said before turning and heading toward a testosterone-filled table where all the football players congregated.
I watched as she walked away and was perturbed by her, too. How would she know how bad it was? I couldn’t tell Tessa what was going on, especially since we didn’t invite her to join us for my birthday celebration. Erica and Taylor knew I was friendly with her, but I still hadn’t told them that I had been to her house twice. They would still gossip about her almost every day and, as much as I didn’t approve of it, I didn’t feel close enough to Tessa to defend her. I would just sit and listen to them and remain mum.
In my own way, I liked Tessa and suspected she may have felt as lonely as I had at times. Maybe that’s why she sought me out. Maybe she figured she could befriend the new girl who no one had claimed yet. I didn’t know. I wasn’t a part of any clique and really didn’t want to be.
Most days I missed the close friendships I had had with Gabby, Sarah and Becca back in Massachusetts, but I realized it might take some time to make similar friendships with others in my new school. It had taken over eight years for ours to develop into such a strong bond. I just needed to be patient.
Lunch finally ended and I didn’t end up seeing any of the girls the rest of the day. After my last class, and as I headed toward my locker to collect my books for the weekend, I spotted Victoria in the hallway. I waved to her, but she ignored me and answered her cell phone instead. I would text her later and hoped that she and Megan could still meet up with me. I figured three was better than none.
I sat by myself on the boat ride back to the island so I could pout in peace. All week long I had so been looking forward to the five of us going out for my birthday. I was disappointed to say the least. And just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, Victoria answered my text. She apologized and said that she and Megan couldn’t make it either. I couldn’t believe it and thought I would burst into tears.
Very quickly my sadness turned to anger when I realized that everyone ditched me, yet didn’t have the decency to tell me to my face.
I sulked the rest of the evening and stayed in my room, trying to forget about the night I was supposed to be having. My mom knocked on my door and popped her head inside.
“Are you staying in tonight, Willow?”
I looked up from my book. “It’s either that or going out to dinner at Luigi’s all by myself.”
“Well,” my mother reminded me, ?
I rolled my eyes and mumbled, “Thrilling.”
“What?”
“Never mind,” I said as I continued to read.
After my mom left, I closed my book, turned off my light and hoped that sleep would make me forget about the misery I’d be facing the minute I woke up on my “not-so-special day.”
• • •
I purposely slept in late on my sixteenth birthday, not wanting to think about the cancelled plans from the night before. When I finally did roll out of bed, I sluggishly walked over to my full-length mirror and stared at my reflection. I didn’t look any older and certainly didn’t feel it. My hair was sticking up in a million different directions and my cheek had a light, white mark on it from where a puddle of drool had settled and dried overnight. I didn’t look any different, I concluded… just pathetic.
I put on an old sweatshirt and dirty pair of sweatpants and headed downstairs. My stomach was really growling, since it was well past noon, but I wasn’t in the mood to eat anything.
I grabbed the remote and plopped on top of the bumpy couch in the family room. I looked around and listened. For once, the house was quiet, almost eerily silent. There was no sign of my mother or brother. I could have heard a pin drop. I decided not to turn on the TV. Instead I rested my head and closed my eyes. I would relish the peace while it lasted, even as a rogue spring jutted through the cushion and jabbed me in my shoulder.
My cat, Princess, meowed, jumped on top of the couch and crept over toward me. She settled on my stomach. I tried to cuddle with her since I felt so desperately alone. Normally she wouldn’t let me hold her so tightly, but she must have sensed my sadness and allowed me to snuggle with her. I was so grateful because Princess was the only thing that was even remotely warm in the arctic-like house.
I didn’t realize it, but I had fallen back to sleep. My mother and brother startled me when they burst through the front door with armloads of shopping bags and a huge arrangement of helium balloons.
My mother rushed into the kitchen and shouted over her shoulder. “Happy birthday, Willow! Be right there.”
James marched over to me and stopped. He proudly presented me with the special Mylar bouquet and beamed. “Sixteen balloons altogether, Willow, ’cause you’re sixteen today!”
I forced a smile and took the strings. “Thanks.”
My mom waltzed into the room holding a very big, very chocolaty cake with sixteen candles ablaze on top. She stood next to my brother and they both began to sing, “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you …”
Their melodious voices were drowned out by the voices in my head, by the absurdity of it all. Happy? What did I have to be happy about? Spending the day of my “special” sixteenth birthday all alone or spending the night with my preoccupied family, one with a new beau and the other with any kind of video game that involved killing another living thing.
As they finished their serenade, I blew out the candles, thanked them and rolled over so I could finish my nap.
“Don’t you want a piece of delicious chocolate cake, dear? It’s your favorite kind,” my mother asked my back.
“No, thanks, I’m still full from lunch,” I lied.
“Okay, then. I’ll wrap it up so you can have some later.”
As my mother walked away she informed me, “I hope it’s alright, Willow. I asked Brian if he’d like to join us for dinner tonight and he said he’d love to.”
My mom made sure to take cover in the kitchen and get out of my line of fire before dropping that bomb on me.
I clenched my teeth and bit my tongue, afraid of what I might say back to her.
Just then, my brother had the misfortune of switching on the television set and his beloved gaming system before settling into his new, rocking video chair.
In a split second, I flipped my body over, threw the remote at James and hit him square in the back of the head.
“Ow!” he screamed as he rubbed his skull.
“Don’t even try it,” I challenged through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes. “It’s my freakin’ birthday.”
I must have scared him because he jumped up and ran to his room where he remained for the rest of the afternoon, while I napped on and off, atop the most uncomfortable couch in the world.
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN