Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradiso by Jeff Vrolyks

and after you do something enough times it becomes how it’s supposed to be.

  I was sitting on the bench when the screen door creaked open. She came out looking like a million bucks. She had changed into a summer dress, light pink with big white flowers. I wondered why she changed out of jeans and a shirt into this. More comfortable, I guess. It made her even more beautiful, if that was possible. A dizzying concept. She sat down, dropped her purse between our feet and patted my knee, offered me some of the communal tea. It worked out great that we liked minimal sugar and a wedge of lemon not squeezed. I sipped and returned it. I pretended to stare at some flowers in a nearby flowerbed, but really I was checking Anna out. I had gotten pretty good at pretending to study things near Anna. I never got tired of imbibing her sight. I could get lost in her looks for an eternity, and was working hard at putting in just those kind of hours doing it.

  When she leaned forward to open her purse and extract Chapstick, the front of her dress hung from her chest, affording me a clear view of her boobs . I had dreamed of this very thing for years, and now that it was happening I didn’t know what to do. I sort of panicked. I looked away from her boobs. I was afraid she was testing me, that if she had caught me looking at them I’d have been busted, and that would be the end of our friendship. That was much too steep a price to pay to see her glorious cleavage.

  But maybe she wanted me to see them. Nah, she isn’t that kind of girl. But still, she couldn’t be entirely ignorant of the collar of her dress being a good eight inches away from her chest, just hanging down there. I bet her boobs caught some of the breeze, in fact. And she was kind of facing me. Nah, she didn’t do it on purpose. But if she did, God bless her enormous heart. That is charity for the ages, right there. She would do it, too, I decided. If I requested in earnest to see her boobs—the reason being that I am curious how boobs look and want to know first-hand—she’d take me to her bedroom and show me her boobs. I really don’t think it would be sexual to her, but instead more like science class. She’d do that for me because I was her best friend and she was mine. We’d do most anything for the other, happily. Gosh I love Anna. I really do. It isn’t just a brash remark, no sirree Bob. I love Anna Macintyre. And if feels great to admit it, if only to myself.

  It was then that I resolved to confess my love to her. A bold move it would be. But it needed to be done. Why should I be the only one who knows that I love her? She had a right to know. She applied Chapstick to her lips and straightened her posture, smiled over at me for no reason at all, and that’s when smiles are at their prettiest. Julie zipped by us on the sidewalk honking her wha-ooga wha-ooga horn as she passed. She disappeared behind the tall hedge of the neighboring house.

  “Are there any boys you like at school?” I asked her. My heart raced.

  She grinned wryly. “Why, would you be jealous?”

  “Just wondering. Jacob can’t be the only one chasing after you.”

  “That Jacob is one persistent booger, huh? I swear, I should just go out with him once and give him the worst date of his life. Maybe then he’ll leave me alone.”

  “You don’t think he’s cute at all?”

  “If I did I wouldn’t have turned him down all one-million times. My heart doesn’t belong to that Jacob. Hey, it’s my birthday in a week. What did you get me?” She smiled playfully at me.

  “I got you a can of don’t-change-the-subject-on-me.” She giggled.

  There was something just then that I felt, like how you feel electricity in the air before lightning. It was beyond my conscious mind, but a kind of instinct. Or maybe it was because she so quickly changed the subject, which meant that she had something to hide. Heck, I played that same card with my mom countless times, and it worked more times than not. But it felt heavy, a kind of gravity of situation that was new to me. It was opportunity. I just couldn’t put my finger on why exactly I thought that.

  “So are there?” I said.

  “Are there what?”

  “Any boys who you like at school.”

  The corners of her mouth upturned. “Why the sudden interest?”

  “I’m just curious. We never talk about it.”

  She shrugged, looked away.

  “There is someone,” I said confidently. “Who? Do I know him? Come on, how long have we been best friends? Tell me. I’ll keep your secret.” I wished it was me. My how I wished it was me.

  I was squandering my chance to confess my love for her. And what better timing than now? Now that we were on the subject of who loves who. She’d tell me she loves some athlete and I’d tell her I love her. Heck, half of us would be in love with the right people.

  “Nobody,” she said quietly.

  Then it came to me so suddenly and fiercely that I actually stood up from the bench seat and took a deep breath. Yes! How could I have missed it!

  “Your heart doesn’t belong to that Jacob,” I said.

  She looked up at me quizzically.

  “Don’t give me that look. You said it, not me.” Her face was a blank slate. I was getting no help there. “Anna, do you have a thing for another Jacob?”

  “Why do you care so much?”

  It was admission.

  “Because. Because I just do. Do you have a thing for another Jacob?”

  “For another Jacob? No.” My how she looked nervous.

  I sat back down and put my hand on hers. It would be the defining moment of my life, when either everything sunk down into an abyss of crap or rose above and became the first true day of my life, from which all other days were built upon; the foundation for a life of bliss, and that could only be a life shared with my sweet Anna.

  I waited till her eyes were penetrating mine like my eyes were penetrating hers and said, “Does your heart belong to Jacobs?”

  She didn’t respond, and I sensed if I waited too long the moment would slip away and I’d be forever reaching out to grab it but it would always be just out of reach. Yes, I could be a little melodramatic, but I can’t help what I feel in my heart of hearts.

  I couldn’t believe I was about to say this. “Because if it does, Anna, mine belongs to you, too.”

  Her eyes widened and became glassy at once. That she was on the verge of crying filled my heart with joy. I hugged her tightly. Now that I knew she felt the same way, my confidence abound and I said something more. “I’ve loved you for years, I just couldn’t get myself to tell you.” And with that she actually wept.

  “Ooouuuu!” Little Julie Macintyre said as she ripped by us. “Jeffie Jeffie, kiss me kiss me!” She intoned as her sister.

  We ignored her and continued our embrace. I could have held her forever. Turns out we’d be consoling a crying little Julie in a few minutes, scraped knee and all. She would admit that it was her own fault she crashed, not the improper assembly of the bike.

  There was a knock at the door and I knew who it was. I stepped around my desk and made haste to the door. Through the peep-hole I saw the concerned eyes of Emmy. They were the pretty blue eyes of her mother and grandma. I unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door, stood aside as to not directly look outside, and let my niece inside, wasted no time in re-locking the deadbolt.

  Was she wondering why I wasn’t dressed in a suit today? Had she ever seen me dressed in anything other than a suit? I couldn’t recall, but I doubt she had. There’s goes my vanity once again, in full bore. We hugged.

  “What is it, Uncle Jeff. You have me worried.”

  “Can I get you something to drink? I don’t have any beer, but there’s some scotch.”

  “Scotch? I thought you said you quit drinking?”

  “I did,” I said shamefully. “I had a lot going on, a lot of deadlines to meet, and it just went easier with a little drink. That’s the damn thing about drinking. How easy it is to fall off the wagon, but damn it’s hard to get back on it once you do.”

  “Is Aunt Anna okay with it?”

  “She doesn’t know, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her.”

/>   “Anyway, what’s this about? What’s the matter?”

  I exhaled slowly. “I’ve been seeing this man in a black robe lately. It appears that nobody else can see him. I had Anna look square in his direction and she saw nothing. I downplayed it in front of her, but she’s more than a little worried for me. I told her I haven’t seen it since. But I have. And it’s been getting closer and closer to me. I’m scared, Emmers. I’m petrified.”

  “Nobody sees him but you,” she mused. “How are your eyes?”

  “Hopefully bad. But I fear they’re fine.” I stared at her for a moment before saying, “Ever think about your mortality?”

  Anna came home from the office that evening, changed into something more comfortable, retook her car keys and asked if I wanted to go to the market with her. And if not, was there anything I wanted her to pick up for me. I requested a word with her before she left. Her eyes worried at once.

  “You’re seeing it again,” she surmised.

  I sat down and waited for her to take a seat before confessing that I had seen it. “I see it every time I look down the street. And not just this street. South along any street. Baby, I…” It was hard for me to admit to her. I always wanted to be strong for her, but the time had come to drop the pretenses. “I’m scared. It’s getting closer and… I just don’t know.”

  “Jeff, you know nothing is there,” she said with candid sympathy. “It’s all in your head, honey. I’m making an appointment for you to see a doctor.”

  “Yes, that will be fine.”

  She lowered her head and shook it in her hand.

  “I’m sorry, Anna. I get the feeling that it’s…”

  “That it’s…?”

  “Death.”

  Her jaw slackened. “You think Death is coming for you?” There was raw wet emotion in her voice.

  “I do.”

  “But you aren’t ill! You’re perfectly healthy!”

  “Yeah, for the most part. I haven’t exactly been doing everything I’m supposed to do, though. Like the pills for blood pressure and cholesterol.”

  Her eyes widened with anger. “Jeffrey Jay Jacobs! Why would you—”

  “Because you can’t mix those with alcohol.”

  The anger dissipated. Pain replaced it. We were back there again, alcoholism. That she wasn’t angry touched me. There was nothing but compassion and worry in her eyes.

  “Sweetheart,” I said, “I’m going to stop. I swear to you that I’m going to stop. Do you believe me?”

  She was crying. She nodded.

  “I’ll start taking the medicine again. And I’ll stop eating all the shit. Anna, I have this recurring image of a guillotine. The blade is up in the sky, and is descending upon me, falling and falling. I didn’t put much stock into it before I began seeing the man in black, but now I draw parallels. Like death is drawing ever nearer. The blade isn’t too far away, that is what I fear, Anna. I should have told you this a couple days ago. I’m really sorry.”

  “I’m calling a doctor and I’m going with you. You aren’t going to leave me here. I can’t live without you.”

  Chris was the first to reach the bridge named Devil’s Crossing. With a slight slur in his voice he dared Alex to cross it along the outside with him. Alex called him a lunatic and said it would be a cold day in hell before he did anything so stupid as that. Jenn wouldn’t even let Chris proposition her: she said she’d be taking the traditional way across, thank you very much.

  That left Julie.

  “Come on, babe. Don’t be a pussy. Just hold on to the rope.”

  “Chris you’re drunk. Don’t do that. Please?”

  “Ah, I’m not that drunk. I’ve done it before. Come on!”

  Chris swung his leg over the rope, then the other. He began side stepping across the great divide. Below him white water rushed over and through a great many boulders. Julie caught up with him, but on the inside of the ropes, put her head inches