Jonah and Co. by Dornford Yates
CHAPTER IX
HOW JONAH TOOK OFF HIS COAT, AND BERRY FLIRTED WITH FORTUNE FOR ALL HEWAS WORTH
"My dear," said Berry, "be reasonable."
"With pleasure," said Daphne. "But I'm not going to let you off."
Her husband frowned upon a roll.
"When I say," he said, "that I have a feeling to-day that my luck isin, I'm not being funny. Only once before have I had that conviction.I was at Cannes at the time--on the point of leaving for Paris. I wentto Monte Carlo instead.... That night I picked up over six hundredpounds."
"I know," said his wife. "You've often told me. But I can't help it.I made you give me your word before we came here, and I'm not going tolet you off."
"I gave it without thinking," declared her husband. "Besides, I neverdreamed I should have this feeling."
"I did," said Daphne shortly. "That's why I made you promise. Havesome more coffee?"
Pointedly ignoring the invitation, Berry returned to his roll and,after eyeing it with disgust which the bread in no way deserved,proceeded to disrupt and eviscerate it with every circumstance ofbarbarity. Covertly, Jonah and I exchanged smiles....
Forty-eight hours had elapsed since I had cut Eulalie, and this was themorning of our last day at San Sebastian.
During our short stay the weather had been superb, and we had been outand about the whole day long. Of an evening--save for one memorableexception--we had been to the Casino....
For as long as I could remember, Berry had had a weakness for Roulette.For Baccarat, _Petits Chevaux_, and the rest he cared nothing: fiftypounds a year would have covered his racing bets: if he played Bridge,it was by request. My brother-in-law was no gambler. There wassomething, however, about the shining wheel, sunk in its board of greencloth, which he found irresistible.
Remembering this fascination, my sister had broached the matter so soonas we had decided to visit San Sebastian, with the happy result that,ere we left Pau, her husband had promised her three things. The firstwas to leave his cheque-books at home; the second, to take with him nomore than two hundred pounds; the third, to send for no more money.
And now the inevitable had happened.
The two hundred pounds were gone--every penny; we were not due to leaveuntil the morrow; and--Berry was perfectly satisfied that his luck hadchanged. As for the promises his wife had extracted, he was repentinghis rashness as heartily as she was commending her prevision.
"Nothing," said Berry, turning again to the charge, "was said aboutborrowing, was it?"
"No."
"Very well, then. Boy and Jonah'll have to lend me something. I'm notgoing to let a chance like this go."
"Sorry, old chap," said Jonah, "but we've got to pay the hotel bill.Thanks to your activities, we're landed with----"
"How much have you got?" demanded Berry.
I cut in and threw the cards on the table.
"Brother," I said, "we love you. For that reason alone we won't lendyou a paper franc. But then you knew that before you asked us."
My brother-in-law groaned.
"I tell you," he affirmed, "you're throwing away money. With anothertwo hundred and fifty I could do anything. I can feel it in my bones."
"You'd lose the lot," said Jonah. "Besides, you've eaten your cake.If you'd limited yourself last night and played rationally, instead ofbuttering the board...."
"I'm sure," said Jill, "you ought to have played on a system. If you'dput a pound on 'RED' and kept on doubling each time you lost----"
"Yes," said Berry. "That's an exhilarating stunt, that is. Before youknow where you are, you've got to put two hundred and fifty-six poundson an even chance to get one back. With a limit of four hundred andeighty staring you in the face, that takes a shade more nerve than Ican produce. I did try it once--at Madeira. Luck was with me. Afterthree hours I'd made four shillings and lost half a stone....Incidentally, when a man starts playing Roulette on a system, it's timeto pray for his soul. I admit there are hundreds who do it--hundredsof intelligent, educated, thoughtful men and women. Well, you can prayfor the lot. They're trying to read something which isn't written.They're studying a blank page. They're splitting their brains over amatter on which an idiot's advice would be as valuable. I knew abrilliant commercial lawyer who used to sit down at the table andsolemnly write down every number that turned up for one hour. For thenext sixty minutes he planked still more solemnly on the ones that hadturned up least often. Conceive such a frame of mind. That wonderfulbrain had failed to grasp the one simple glaring point of which hiscase consisted--that Roulette is lawless. He failed to appreciate thathe was up against Fortune herself. He couldn't realise that because'7' had turned up seven times running at a quarter past nine, that wasno earthly reason why '7' shouldn't turn up eight times running at aquarter past ten. Heaven knows what fun he got out of it. For me, thewhole joy of the thing is that you're flirting with Fate." He closedhis eyes suddenly and flung back his head. "Oh," he breathed, "I tellyou she's going to smile to-night. I can see the light in her eyes. Ihave a feeling that she's going to be very kind ... very kind ...somehow ..."
We let him linger over the fond reflection, eyeing one anotheruneasily. It was, we felt, but the prelude to a more formidable attack.
We were right.
"I demand," barked Berry, "that I be allowed the wherewithal toprosecute my suit."
"Not a farthing," said Daphne. "To think that that two hundred poundsis gone makes me feel ill."
"That's exactly why I want to win it back--and more also." He lookedround desperately. "Anybody want a birthright? For two hundred andfifty quid--I'd change my name."
"It sounds idiotic, I know," said I, "but supposing--supposing youlost."
"I shan't to-night," said Berry.
"Sure?"
"Positive. I tell you, I feel----"
"And you," said Jonah scornfully, "you have the temerity to talk aboutpraying for others' souls. You sit there and----"
"I tell you," insisted Berry, "that I have a premonition. Look here.If I don't have a dart to-night, I shall never be the same managain.... Boy, I implore you----"
I shook my head.
"Nothing doing," I said. "You'll thank us one day."
"You don't understand," wailed Berry. "You've never known the feelingthat you were bound to win."
"Yes, I have--often. And it's invariably proved a most expensivesensation."
There was a moment's silence. Then--
"Right," said my brother-in-law. "You're one and all determined to seeme go down. You've watched me drop two hundred, and not one of you'sgoing to give me a hand to help me pick it up. It may be high-minded,but it's hardly cordial. Some people might call it churlish.... Uponmy soul, you are a cold-blooded crowd. Have you ever known a deal Iwouldn't come in on? And now, because you are virtuous, I'm to lose myfun.... Ugh! Hymn Number Four Hundred and Seventy-Seven, 'The Cakesand Ale are Over.'"
Struggling with laughter, Adele left her seat and, coming quicklybehind him, set her white hands upon his shoulders.
"Dear old chap," she said, laying her cheek against his, "look at itthis way. You're begging and praying us to let you down. Yes, youare. And if we helped you to break your word, neither you nor we wouldever, at the bottom of our hearts, think quite so much of us again.And that's not good enough. Even if you won five thousand pounds itwouldn't compensate. Respect and self-respect aren't things you canbuy."
"But, sweetheart," objected Berry, "nothing was said about borrowing.Daphne admits it. If I can raise some money without reference to mybankers, I'm at liberty to do so."
"Certainly," said Adele. "But we mustn't help. If that was allowed,it 'ld knock the bottom out of your promise. You and Daphne and we areall in the same stable: and that--to mix metaphors--puts us out ofCourt. If you ran into a fellow you knew, and he would lend you somemoney, or you found a hundred in the street, or a letter for youarrived----"
"--or one of the
"That's better," said Adele. "A moment ago we were cold-blooded."
Berry winced.
"I take it back," he said humbly. "Your central heating arrangements,at any rate, are in perfect order. Unless your heart was glowing, yoursoft little cheek wouldn't be half so warm."
"I don't know about that," said Adele, straightening her back. "But wetry to be sporting. And that's your fault," she added. "You've taughtus."
The applause which greeted this remark was interrupted by the entry ofa waiter bearing some letters which had been forwarded from Pau.
A registered package, for which Berry was requested to sign, set us allthinking.
"Whatever is it?" said Daphne.
"I can't imagine," replied her husband, scrutinising the postmark."'Paris'? I've ordered nothing from Paris that I can remember."
"Open it quick," said Jonah. "Perhaps it's some wherewithal."
Berry hacked at the string....
The next instant he leaped to his feet.
"Fate!" he shrieked. "Fate! I told you my luck was in!" He turned tohis wife breathlessly. "'Member those Premium Bonds you wanted me togo in for? Over a month ago I applied for twenty-five. I'd forgottenabout the trash--and _here they are_!"
* * * * *
Two hours and a half had gone by, and we were rounding a tremendoushorse-shoe bend on the way to Zarauz, when my wife touched Berry uponthe arm.
"Aren't you excited?" she said.
"Just a trifle," he answered. "But I'm trying to tread it under. It'sessential that I should keep cool. When you're arm in arm withFortune, you're apt to lose your head. And then you're done. Thejade'll give me my cues--I'm sure of it. But she won't shout them.I've got to keep my eyes skinned and my ears pricked, if I'm going topick them up."
"If I," said Adele, "were in your shoes, I should be just gibbering."
It was, indeed, a queer business.
The dramatic appearance of the funds had startled us all. Had theyarrived earlier, had they come in the shape of something less easilynegotiable than Bearer Bonds, had they been representing more or lessthan precisely the very sum which Berry had named in his appeal, wemight have labelled the matter "Coincidence," and thought no more ofit. Such a label, however, refused to stick. The affair ranked withthunder out of a cloudless sky.
As for my sister, with the wind taken out of her sails, she had hauleddown her flag. The thing was too hard for her.
It was Jonah who had sprung a mine in the midst of our amazement.
"Stop," he had cried. "Where's yesterday's paper? Those things arePremium Bonds, and, unless I'm utterly mistaken, there was a drawingtwo days ago. One of those little fellows may be worth a thousandpounds."
The paper had confirmed his report....
The thought that, but for his wit, we might have released suchsubstance to clutch at such a shadow, had set us all twittering morethan ever.
At once a council had been held.
Finally it had been decided to visit a bank and, before we disposed ofthe Bonds, to ask for and search the official bulletin in which arepublished the results of all Government Lottery Draws.
Inquiry, however, had revealed that the day was some sort of a holiday,and that no banks would be open....
At last a financier was unearthed--a changer of money. In execrableFrench he had put himself at our service.
'Yes, he had the bulletin. It had arrived this morning...'
Feverishly we searched its pages.
Once we had found the column, a glance was enough. Our Bonds boreconsecutive numbers, of which the first figure was "o." The seriesappeared to be unfortunate. The winning list contained not a singlerepresentative.
More reassured than disappointed, we raised the question of a loan.
Our gentleman picked at the Bonds and wrinkled his nose. After alittle he offered one hundred pounds.
This was absurd, and we said so.
The Bonds were worth two hundred and fifty pounds, and were as good ashard cash. The fellow had no office, and, when we wanted him again, aslike as not he would have disappeared. His personal appearance wasagainst him.
When we protested, his answer came pat.
'He was no money-lender. In the last ten years he had not advanced tenpesetas. He was a changer of money, a broker, and nothing else.'
Finally he offered one hundred and fifty pounds--at sixty per cent. ayear _or part of a year_.
For one so ignorant of usury, this was not bad. We thanked him acidly,offered the Bonds for sale, and, after a little calculation, acceptedtwo hundred and forty-three pounds in Spanish notes.
Half an hour later we had climbed into the cars, anxious to make themost of our last day in Spain....
If the way to Zarauz was handsome, that from Zarauz to Zumaya was fitfor a king. Take us a range of mountains--bold, rugged, precipitous,and bring the sea to their foot--no ordinary sea, sirs, but Oceanhimself, the terrible Atlantic to wit, in all his glory. And there,upon the boundary itself, where his proud waves are stayed, build us aroad, a curling shelf of a road, to follow the line of that mostnotable indenture, witnessing the covenant 'twixt land and sea, settledwhen Time was born.
Above us, the ramparts of Spain--below, an echelon of rollers,ceaselessly surging to their doom--before us, a ragged wonder ofcoast-line, rising and falling and thrusting into the distance, tillthe snarling leagues shrank into murmuring inches and tumult dwindledinto rest--on our right, the might, majesty, dominion and power ofOcean, a limitless laughing mystery of running white and blue, shiningand swaying and swelling till the eye faltered before so muchmagnificence and Sky let fall her curtain to spare the failingsight--for over six miles we hung over the edge of Europe....
Little wonder that we sailed into Zumaya--all red roofs, white wallsand royal-blue timbers--with full hearts, flushed and exulting. Thetwenty precious minutes which had just gone by were charged with thespirit of the Odyssey.
Arrived at the village, we stopped, to wait for the others. So soon asthey came, we passed on slowly along the road to Deva. Perhaps a milefrom Zumaya we ate our lunch....
The comfortable hush which should succeed a hearty meal made in theopen air upon a summer's day was well established. Daphne and Adelewere murmuring conversation: in a low voice Jill was addressing Berryand thinking of Piers: pipe in mouth, Jonah was blinking into a pair offield-glasses: and I was lying flat upon my back, neither smoking norsleeping, but gradually losing consciousness with a cigarette in myhand.
I had come to the point of postponing through sheer lethargy theonerous duty of lifting the cigarette to my lips, when, with an oaththat ripped the air, Jonah started to his feet.
Sleep went flying.
I sat up amazedly, propping myself on my hands....
With dropped jaw, my cousin was staring through the glasses as a manwho is looking upon sudden death. While I watched, he lowered them,peered into the distance, clapped them again to his eyes, let themfall, glanced swiftly to right and left, shut his mouth with a snap,and made a dash for the cars....
With his hand upon Ping's door, he turned and pointed a tremblingforefinger along the valley.
"There's Zed," he cried. "My horse. Haven't seen him since Cambrai.Leading a team, and they're flogging him."
I fancy he knew I should join him, for he never closed Ping's door. Ashe changed into second, I swung myself inboard. A moment later we wereflying along the dusty road....
Zed had been Jonah's charger for over three years. Together, for monthafter month, the two had endured the rough and revelled in the smooth.They had shared misery, and they had shared ease. Together, manytimes, they had passed through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. And,while the animal must have loved Jonah
Jonah was shot through the knee and sent to England. And Zed--poor Zeddisappeared.
My cousin's efforts to trace him were superhuman. Unhappily his groomhad been killed, when Jonah was wounded, and, though all manner ofauthorities, from the Director of Remounts downwards, had lent theirofficial aid, though a most particular description had been circulatedand special instructions issued to all the depots through which thehorse might pass, to his lasting grief Jonah had never heard of Zedagain.
And now.... I found myself praying that he had not been mistaken.
Jonah was driving like a man possessed.
We tore up a rise, whipped round a bend and, coming suddenly upon aroad on our right, passed it with locked wheels.
The noise my cousin made, as he changed into reverse, showed that hislove for Zed was overwhelming.
We shot backward, stopped, stormed to the right and streaked up ashocking road at forty-five.... We flashed into a hamlet, turned atright angles, missed a waggon by an inch and flung up a frightful tracktowards a farm....
Then, before I knew what had happened, we had stopped dead, and Jonah'sdoor was open and he was limping across the road.
In the jaws of a rude gateway stood a waggon of stones. Harnessed tothis were three sorry-looking mules and, leading them, the piteouswreck of what had been a blue roan. The latter was down--and out.
For this the immediate reason was plain.
The teamster, better qualified for the treadmill, had so steered hiswaggon that the hub of its off fore wheel had met the gatepost. Thishe had not observed, but, a firm believer in the omnipotency of thelash, had determined to reduce the check, whatever might be its cause,by methods of blood and iron. Either because he was the mostconvenient or by virtue of his status, the leader had received thebrunt of the attack. That is, of course, one way of driving....
The blue roan was down, and his master had just kicked him in the bellywhen Jonah arrived.
The Spaniard was a big fellow, but my cousin has wrists of steel....He took the whip from its owner as one takes a toy from a baby. Thenwith the butt he hit him across the mouth. The Spaniard reeled, caughthis foot on a stone and fell heavily. Jonah threw down the whip andtook off his coat.
"I don't want to kill him," he said quietly.
When the other rose, he looked extremely ugly. This was largely due tothe fact that most of his front teeth were missing and that it wasdifficult, because of the blood, to see exactly where his face endedand his mouth began. The look in his eyes, however, was suggesting theintent to kill.
He had no idea, of course, that he was facing perhaps the one manliving who could have thrashed a champion....
It is not often that you will see half a dozen of the most illustriousmembers of the National Sporting Club attending an Assault-at-Arms heldat a public school. Three years running I had that honour. Thegentlemen came to see Jonah. And though no applause was allowed duringthe boxing, they always broke the rule.... In due season my cousinwent to Oxford.... In his second year, in the Inter-Universitycontest, he knocked his opponent out in seven seconds. The latterremained unconscious for more than six hours, each crawling one ofwhich took a year off Jonah's life. From that day my cousin never puton the gloves again....
All, however, that the Spaniard saw was a tall lazy-looking man with agame leg, who by his gross interference had taken him by surprise.
He lowered his head and actually ran upon his fate....
I have never seen "punishment" at once so frightful and sopunctiliously administered. Jonah worked with the swift precision ofthe surgeon about the operating table. He confessed afterwards thathis chief concern was to keep his opponent too blind with rage to seethe wisdom of capitulation. He need not have worried....
When it had become obvious that the blessed gifts of sight, smell, andhearing had been almost wholly withdrawn from the gentleman, when, infact, he had practically ceased attempting to defend himself, andmerely bellowed with mortification at every stinging blow, Jonahknocked him sprawling on to the midden, and drew off his wash-leathergloves.
The next moment he was down on his knees beside the roan, plucking atthe rough harness with trembling fingers.
Once the horse sought to rise, but at Jonah's word he stopped and laiddown his head.
Between us we got him clear. Then we stood back, and Jonah called him.
With a piteous effort the roan got upon his legs. That there was backtrouble and at least one hock was sprung I saw at a glance. The horsehad been broken down. He was still blowing badly, and I ran for theflask in the car. When I came back, Jonah was caressing his chargerwith tears running down his cheeks....
There is a listlessness, born of harsh treatment, suckled on dyinghopes, reared on the bitter memory of happier days, which is moreeloquent than tears. There is an air of frozen misery, of a despair sodeep that a kind word has come to lose its meaning, which none buthorses wear.
Looking upon Zed, I felt ashamed to be a man.
Gaunt, filthy, and tottering, the flies mercilessly busy about threeshocking sores, the roan was presenting a terrible indictment to befiled against the Day of Judgment. '...And not one of them isforgotten before God....' But there was worse than pain of body here.The dull, see-nothing eyes, the heavy-laden head, the awful-strickenmien, told of a tragedy to make the angels weep--an Englishthoroughbred, not dead, but with a broken heart.
We had administered the brandy, Jonah was bathing a sore, and I hadmade a wisp and was rubbing Zed down, when--
"Good day," said a voice.
With his arms folded upon the sill, a little grey-headed man waswatching us from a window.
I looked up and nodded.
"Good day," I said.
"Ah like boxing," said the man. "Ah've bin twelve years in the States,an' Ah'd rather see boxing than a bull-fight. You like baseball?"
I shook my head.
"I've never seen it," I said.
"Haven't missed much," was the reply. "But Ah like boxing. Youvisiting Spain?"
"For a few days."
"'S a fine country. Bin to Sevilla?"
Entirely ignoring the violence which he had just witnessed, to saynothing of our trespass upon his property and our continued attentionto his horse, the farmer proceeded to discuss the merits andshortcomings of Spain with as much detached composure as if we had methim in a tavern.
At length Jonah got up.
"Will you sell me this horse?"
"Yes," said the man. "Ah will."
"What d'you want for him?"
"Five hundred pesetas."
"Right," said Jonah. "Have you got a halter?"
The man disappeared. Presently he emerged from a door halter in hand.
The twenty pounds passed, and Zed was ours.
Tenderly my cousin fitted the halter about the drooping head.
"One more effort, old chap," he said gently, turning towards thegate....
Out of compassion for the mules, I drew the farmer's attention to thehub which was nursing the gatepost.
He just nodded.
"Pedro could never drive," he said.
"I should get a new carter," I said.
He shrugged his shoulders. Then he jerked his head in the direction ofthe carcase upon the midden.
"He is my step-father. We do not speak," he said simply.
We found the others in the hamlet through which we had passed. There Ihanded over Ping to Adele, and thence Jonah and Zed and I walked toZumaya.
To find a box at the station was more than we had dared hope for, butthere it was--empty and waiting to be returned to San Sebastian.Beneath the influence of twenty-five pesetas, the station-master saw nogood reason why it should not be returned by the evening train.
We left Jonah to accompany his horse and hurried home by car to seek astable.
When we sat down to dinner that night at eight o'clock, Jonah calledfor the wine-list a
When the wine was poured, he raised his glass and looked at me.
"Thank you for helping me," he said. He glanced round with his eyesglowing. "And all of you for being so glad." He drank and touchedAdele upon the shoulder. "In a loose-box, up to his knees in straw,with an armful of hay to pick over, and no congestion.... Have youever felt you wanted to get up and dance?" He turned to Berry."Brother, your best. May you spot the winner to-night, as I did thisafternoon."
"Thank you," said Berry, "thank you. I must confess I'd been hopingfor some sort of intuition as to what to do. But I've not had a hintso far. Perhaps, when I get to the table.... It's silly, of course.One mustn't expect too much, but I had the feeling that I was going tobe given a tip. You know. Like striking a dud egg, and then puttingyour shirt on a horse called 'Attar of Roses.' ... Never mind. Let'stalk about something else. Why did you call him 'Zed'?"
"Short for 'Zero,'" said Jonah. "I think my groom started it, andI----"
"Zero," said Berry quietly. "I'm much obliged."
* * * * *
It was a quarter to eleven, and Berry had lost one hundred and seventypounds.
Across her husband's back Daphne threw me a despairing glance. Uponthe opposite side of the table, Adele and Jill, one upon either side ofJonah, stared miserably before them. I lighted my tenth cigarette andwondered what Berry had done....
The table was crowded.
From their points of vantage the eight croupiers alternately did theirbusiness and regarded the assembly with a bored air.
A beautifully dressed American, who had been losing, observed the luckof her neighbour, a burly Dutchman, with envious eyes. With aremonstrance in every fingertip, a debonnaire Frenchman was laughinglyupbraiding his fellow for giving him bad advice. From above hishorn-rimmed spectacles an old gentleman in a blue suit watched theremorseless rake jerk his five pesetas into "the Bank" in evidentannoyance. Cheek by jowl with a dainty Englishwoman, who reminded meirresistibly of a Dresden shepherdess, a Spanish Jew, who had won, wasexplosively disputing with a croupier the amount of his stake. TwoSouth Americans were leaning across the table, nonchalantly "plasteringthe board." A little old lady, with an enormous bag, was thanking anelegant Spaniard for disposing her stake as she desired. Finger tolip, a tall Spanish girl in a large black hat was sizing her remainingcounters with a faint frown. A very young couple, patently upon theirhoneymoon, were conferring excitedly....
"_Hagan juego, Senores._"
The conference between the lovers became more intense.
"_Esta hecho?_"
"Oh, be quick!" cried the girl. "Between '7' and '8,' Bill.Between..."
As the money went on--
"_No va mas_," cried the croupier in charge.
Two pairs of eyes peered at the revolving wheel. They did not noticethat the Dutchman, plunging at the last moment upon 'MANQUE,' hadtouched their counter with his cuff and moved it to '9.'
The ball lost its momentum, poppled across the ridges, and leaped torest.
"_Nueve._"
Two faces fell. I wondered if a new frock had vanished into air....
With the edge of his rake a croupier was tapping their counter andlooking round for the claimant.
For a second the Jew peered about him. Then he pointed to himself andstretched out his hand.
I called to the croupier in French.
"No. It belongs to Monsieur and Madame. I saw what happened. Thatgentleman moved it with his cuff."
"_Merci, Monsieur._"
With a sickly leer the pretender rallied the croupier, confidentiallyassured the dainty Englishwoman that he did not care, and, laughing alittle too heartily, waved the thirty-five pounds towards theirbewildered owners.
"B-but it isn't mine," stammered the boy.
"Yes," I said, smiling. "Your counter was moved. I saw the wholething." I hesitated. Then, "If you'll take an old hand's advice,you'll stop now. A thing like that's invariably the end of one's luck."
I was not 'an old hand,' and I had no authority for my dictum. Myinterference was unpardonable. When the two stopped to thank me, asthey passed from the room, I felt like a criminal. Still, they lookedvery charming; and, after all, a frock on the back is worth a score atthe dressmaker's.
"I am going," said Berry, "to suspend my courtship and smoke acigarette. Possibly I'm going too strong. If I give the lady a rest,she may think more of me."
"I suppose," said Daphne, "you're bent on losing it all."
Her husband frowned.
"Fortune favours the bold," he said shortly. "You see, she's justproving me. If I were to falter, she'd turn me down."
It was impossible not to admire such confidence.
I bade my sister take heart.
"Much," I concluded, "may be done with forty pounds."
"Fifty," corrected Berry. "And now let's change the subject. Howd'you pronounce Lwow? Or would you rather tell me a fairy tale?"
I shook my head.
"My power," I said, "of concentration is limited."
"Then I must," said Berry. "It's fatal to brood over your fortune."He sat back in his chair and let the smoke make its own way out of hismouth. "There was once a large king. It wasn't his fault. The girthwent with the crown. All the Koppabottemburgs were enormous. Besides,it went very well with his subjects. Looking upon him, they felt theywere getting their money's worth. A man of simple tastes, hisfavourite hobby was fowls.
"One day, just as he'd finished cleaning out the fowl-house, he foundthat he'd run out of maize. So he slipped on his invisible cloak andran round to the grocer's. He always wore his invisible cloak whenshopping. He found it cheaper.
"Well, the grocer was just recovering from the spectacle of two poundsof the best maize shoving themselves into a brown-paper bag and pushingoff down the High Street, when a witch came in. The grocer's heartsank into his boots. He hated witches. If you weren't civil, beforeyou knew where you were, you were a three-legged toad or a dew-pond orsomething. So you had to be civil. As for their custom--well, itwasn't worth having. They wouldn't look at bacon, unless you'dguarantee that the pig had been killed on a moonless Friday with thewind in the North, and as for pulled figs, if you couldn't swear thatthe box had been crossed by a one-eyed man whose father had committedarson in a pair of brown boots, you could go and bury them under thelilacs.
"This time, however, the grocer was pleasantly surprised.
"I didn't know," said the witch, "that you were under the patronage ofRoyalty."
"Oh, didn't you?" said the grocer. "Why, the Master of the Horse hasgot his hoof-oil here for nearly two days now."
"Master of the Horse be snookered," said the witch. "I'm talking aboutthe king."
"'The K-King?'" stammered the grocer.
"'Oh, cut it out,' said the witch, to whom an invisible cloak meantnothing. 'No doubt you've been told to keep quiet, but I don't count.And I'll bet you did the old fool over his maize.'
"The grocer's brain worked very rapidly. The memory of a tin of mixedbiscuits and half a Dutch cheese, which had floated out of his shoponly the day before, and numerous other recollections of mysteriouslyanimated provisions came swarming into his mind. At length--
"'We never charge Royalty,' he said loftily.
"'Oh, don't you?' snapped the witch. 'Well, supposing you change thisbroomstick. You swore blue it was cut on a rainless Tuesday from anash that had supported a murderer with a false nose. The very firsttime I used it, it broke at six thousand feet. I was over the sea atthe time, and had to glide nearly four miles to make a landing. Canyou b-beat it?'
"When the grocer put up his shutters two hectic hours later, he was aweary man. In the interval he had been respectively a toad, a picturepost-card, and a tin of baked beans. And somebody had knocked him offthe counter during his third metamorphosis, so he felt like death. Allthe same, before going to bed, he sat down and wrote to the Lo
"The postscript settled it.
"The permission was granted, the king 'dealt' elsewhere in future, andthe witch was given three hours to leave the kingdom. So the grocerlost his two worst customers and got the advertisement of his life.Which goes to show, my children, that if only---- Hullo! Here's a newshift."
It was true.
The eight croupiers were going off duty. As they vacated their seats,eight other gentlemen in black immediately replaced them.
Berry extinguished his cigarette and handed me his last bunch of notes.In exchange for these, with the peculiar delicacy of his kind, thecroupier upon my right selected, arrayed and offered me counters of thevalue of forty English pounds.
He might have been spared his pains.
As I was piling the money by Berry's side--
"_Zero,_" announced a nasal voice.
"We're off," said my brother-in-law. "Will you see that they pay meright?"
One hundred and seventy-five pounds.
Ere I had completed my calculation--
"_Zero,_" repeated the nasal voice.
"I said so," said Berry, raising his eyebrows. "I had the maximum thattime. Will you be so good? Thank you."
Trembling with excitement, I started to count the equivalent of fourhundred and ninety pounds.
Berry was addressing the croupier.
"No. Don't touch the stake. She's not finished yet."
"_Esta hecho?_"
"Don't leave it all," begged Daphne. "Take----"
"_No vas mas._"
Desperately I started to check the money again....
"_Zero._"
There was a long gasp of wonderment, immediately followed by a buzz ofexclamation. The croupiers were smiling. Jill was jumping up and downin her seat. Adele was shaking Jonah by the arm. My sister wasclinging to Berry, imploring him to "stop now." The two Frenchmen werelaughing and nodding their congratulations. The little old lady wasbowing and beaming good-will. Excepting, perhaps, the croupiers.Berry seemed less concerned than anyone present.
"No. I'm not going to stop," he said gently, "because that would befoolish. But I'll give it a miss this time, because it's not comingup. It's no longer a question of guessing, dear. I tell you, I know."
The ball went flying.
After a moment's interval--
"_Ocho_ (eight)," announced the croupier.
"You see," said Berry. "I should have lost my money. Now this time myold friend Zero will come along."
On to the white-edged rectangle went fourteen pounds.
A few seconds later I was receiving four hundred and ninety....
I began to feel dazed. As for counting the money, it was out of thequestion. Idiotically I began to arrange the counters in littlepiles....
'35' turned up.
"That's right," said Berry quietly. "And now... It's really verymonotonous, but..."
With a shrug of his shoulders, he set the limit on 'Zero.'
I held my breath....
The ball ceased to rattle--began to fall--ricochetted from stud tostud--tumbled into the wheel--nosed '32'--and ... fell with a clickinto '0.'
Berry spread out his hands.
"I tell you," he said, "it's too easy.... And now, again."
"Don't!" cried Daphne. "Don't! I beg you----"
"My darling," said Berry, "after to-night--No. Leave the stake,please--I'll never play again. This evening--well, the money's there,and we may as well have it, mayn't we? I mean, it isn't as if I hadn'tbeen given the tip. From the moment I woke this morning---- Listen,dear. Don't bother about the wheel--the lady's been hammering away.You must admit, she's done the job thoroughly. First the intuition:then the wherewithal: then, what to back. I should be a bottle-nosedmug if I didn't----"
"_Zero._"
Upon the explosion of excitement which greeted the astounding event,patrons of the Baccarat Table and of the other Roulette Wheel lefttheir seats and came crowding open-mouthed to see what was toward.Complete strangers were chattering like old friends. Gibbering withemotion, the Spanish Jew was dramatically recounting what had occurred.The Dutchman was sitting back, laughing boisterously. The Frenchmenwere waving and crying, "_Vive l'Angleterre_." Jonah was shouting asthough he had been in the hunting field. Adele and Jill were beatingupon the table.
Berry bowed his acknowledgments.
As in a dream, I watched them send for more money.
When it arrived, they gave me four hundred and ninety pounds.
"_Hagan juego, Senores._"
Berry shook his head.
"Not this time," he said quietly.
He was right. After a look at '0' the ball ran with a click into '15.'
A long sigh of relief followed its settlement.
"You see?" said Berry, picking up fourteen pounds....
"Don't," I said weakly. "Don't. I can't bear it. The board'sbewitched. If it turns up again, I shall collapse."
"You mean that?" said Berry, putting the money on.
"_No va mas._"
"I do. My heart----"
"Then say your prayers," said my brother-in-law. "For, as I live, thatball's going to pick out----"
"_Zero._"
I never remember such a scene.
Everybody in the room seemed to be shouting. I know I was.Respectable Spaniards stamped upon the floor like bulls. TheFrenchmen, who with Berry and several others had backed the winner,were clasping one another and singing the Marseillaise. Thebeautifully dressed American was wringing Adele's hand. The oldgentleman in the blue suit was on his feet and appeared to be making aspeech. The Spanish girl was standing upon her chair waving ahandkerchief....
In vain the smiling croupiers appealed for order....
As the tumult subsided--
"Seven times in ten spins," said Berry. "Well, I think that'll do.We'll just run up the board on the even chances...."
There was no holding him.
Before I knew where I was, he had set twelve thousand pesetas apiece on'RED,' 'ODD,' and 'UNDER 19.'
Some fourteen hundred pounds on a single spin.
I covered my eyes ...
As the ball began to lose way, the hush was awful....
"_Siete_ (seven)," announced the spokesman.
With my brain whirling, I sought to garner the harvest....
My brother-in-law rose to his feet.
"One last throw," he said. "'_PASSE_' for 'The Poor.'"
He leaned forward and put the maximum on 'OVER 18.'
A moment later, counter by counter, four hundred and seventy poundswent into the poor-box.
As I pushed back my chair, I glanced at my watch.
In exactly sixteen minutes Berry had stung 'the Bank' to the tuneof--as near as I could make it--four thousand nine hundred andninety-five pounds.
* * * * *
Some ten hours later we slipped out of San Sebastian and on to thefamous road which leads to Biarritz. Berry, Daphne, and Jill were inone car, and Adele and I were in the other. Jonah and Zed were totravel together by train. It was improbable that they would leave forPau before the morrow.
As we climbed out of Behobie, we took our last look at Spain, thatrealm of majestic distances and superb backgrounds....
You may peer into the face of France and find it lovely; the more youmagnify an English landscape, the richer it will become; but to findthe whole beauty of Spain, a man must stand back and lift up his eyes.
Now that we had left it behind, the pride and grandeur of the scenerybeggared description. It was as though for days we had been lookingupon a mighty canvas, and while we had caught something of itssplendour, now for the first time had we focussed it aright. Thememory we took away was that of a masterpiece.
Anxious to be ho
We whipped through St. Jean de Luz, sang through Bidart, and hobbledover a fearful stretch of metalling into Bayonne....
As we were nearing Bidache--
"How much," said Adele suddenly, "is Berry actually up?"
"Allowing for everything," said I, "that is, his losses, what he gaveto the poor, and the various rates of exchange, about two hundred andforty thousand francs."
"Not so dusty," said Adele thoughtfully. "All the same----"
A report like that of a gun blew the sentence to blazes.
Heavily I took the car in to the side of the road....
A second tire went upon the outskirts of Pau.
Happily we had two spare wheels....
As I was wearily resuming my seat, Berry, Daphne, and Jill went by witha cheer.
Slowly we followed them into the town....
It was not until we were stealing up our own villa's drive that atlength I remembered the question which for over an hour I had beenmeaning to put to my wife.
As I brought the car to a standstill--
"What was it," I demanded, "that you had begun to say when we had thefirst burst near Bidache? We were talking about how much Berry was up,and you said----"
The most blood-curdling yell that I have ever heard fell upon our ears.
For a moment we stared at one another.
Then we fell out of the car by opposite doors and flew up the steps....
Extended upon a chair in the hall. Berry was bellowing, clawing at histemples and drumming with his heels upon the floor.
Huddled together, Daphne and Jill were poring over a letter withstarting eyes.
_DEAR SIR,_
_In case the fact has not already come to your notice, we hasten toinform you that as a result of the drawing, which took place on Mondaylast, one of the Premium Bonds, which we yesterday dispatched to youper registered post, has won the first prize of fr. 500,000 (fivehundred thousand francs)._
_By way of confirmation, we beg to enclose a cutting from the officialBulletin._
_We should, perhaps, point out that, in all announcements of theresults of drawings, the '0' or 'zero,' which for some reasoninvariably precedes the number of a Premium Bond, is disregarded._
_Awaiting the pleasure of your instructions,_
_We beg to remain, dear sir, Your obedient servants,_ ----------
* * * * *
It was perhaps five hours later that my memory again responded, and Iturned to Adele.
"The dam burst," said I, "at the very moment when you were going totell me what you had been about to say when the first tire went outsideBidache. Sounds like 'The House that Jack built,' doesn't it?"
"Oh, I know," said Adele, laughing. "But it's no good now. I wasgoing to say----"
The door opened, and Falcon came in with a wire.
I picked up the form and weighed it thoughtfully.
"Wonderfully quick," I said. "It was half-past two when I was at theBank, and I couldn't have been at the Post Office before a quarter tothree. I looked at my watch. Just under four hours."
"The Bank?" said Adele, staring. "But you said you were going to theClub."
I nodded.
"I know. I was anxious to raise no false hopes. All the same, Icouldn't help feeling that half a million francs were worth a tenpennywire. Therefore I telegraphed to Jonah. His answer will show whetherthat tenpenny wire was worth half a million francs."
My wife snatched the form from my hand and tore it open.
It was very short.
_Bonds repurchased Jonah._
* * * * *
But my memory never recovered from the two-fold slight.
To this day I cannot remember to ask Adele what it was that she hadbeen about to say when the first tire burst outside Bidache.