Le Juif errant. English by Eugène Sue
CHAPTER XXXIV. MORE CONFESSIONS.
The fancy, at first so painful, that Mdlle. de Cardoville was informedof her love for Agricola was soon exchanged in the hunchbacks heart,thanks to the generous instincts of that rare and excellent creature,for a touching regret, which showed all her attachment and venerationfor Adrienne.
"Perhaps," said Mother Bunch to herself, "conquered by the influenceof the adorable kindness of my protectress, I might have made to her aconfession which I could make to none other, and revealed a secret whichI thought to carry with me to my grave. It would, at least, have been amark of gratitude to Mdlle. de Cardoville; but, unfortunately, I amnow deprived of the sad comfort of confiding my only secret to mybenefactress. And then--however generous may be her pity for me, howeverintelligent her affection, she cannot--she, that is so fair and somuch admired--she cannot understand how frightful is the position of acreature like myself, hiding in the depth of a wounded heart, a love atonce hopeless and ridiculous. No, no--in spite of the delicacy of herattachment, my benefactress must unconsciously hurt my feelings, evenwhilst she pities me--for only sympathetic sorrows can console eachother. Alas! why did she not leave me to die?"
These reflections presented themselves to the thinker's mind as rapidlyas thought could travel. Adrienne observed her attentively; she remarkedthat the sewing-girl's countenance, which had lately brightened up, wasagain clouded, and expressed a feeling of painful humiliation. Terrifiedat this relapse into gloomy dejection, the consequences of which mightbe serious, for Mother Bunch was still very weak, and, as it were,hovering on the brink of the grave, Mdlle. de Cardoville resumedhastily: "My friend, do not you think with me, that the most cruel andhumiliating grief admits of consolation, when it can be entrusted to afaithful and devoted heart?"
"Yes, lady," said the young sempstress, bitterly; "but the heart whichsuffers in silence, should be the only judge of the moment for makingso painful a confession. Until then, it would perhaps be more humane torespect its fatal secret, even if one had by chance discovered it."
"You are right, my child," said Adrienne, sorrowfully, "if I choose thissolemn moment to entrust you with a very painful secret, it is that,when you have heard me, I am sure you will set more value on your life,as knowing how much I need your tenderness, consolation, and pity."
At these words, the other half raised herself on the mattress, andlooked at Mdlle. de Cardoville in amazement. She could scarcely believewhat she heard; far from designing to intrude upon her confidence, itwas her protectress who was to make the painful confession, and who cameto implore pity and consolation from her!
"What!" stammered she; "you, lady!"
"I come to tell you that I suffer, and am ashamed of my sufferings.Yes," added the young lady, with a touching expression, "yes--of allconfessions, I am about to make the most painful--I love--and I blushfor my love."
"Like myself!" cried Mother Bunch, involuntarily, clasping her handstogether.
"I love," resumed Adrienne, with a long-pent-up grief; "I love, and amnot beloved--and my love is miserable, is impossible--it consumes me--itkills me--and I dare not confide to any one the fatal secret!"
"Like me," repeated the other, with a fixed look. "She--a queen inbeauty, rank, wealth, intelligence--suffers like me. Like me, poorunfortunate creature! she loves, and is not loved again."
"Well, yes! like you, I love and am not loved again," cried Mdlle. deCardoville; "was I wrong in saying, that to you alone I could confidemy secret--because, having suffered the same pangs, you alone can pitythem?"
"Then, lady," said Mother Bunch, casting down her eyes, and recoveringfrom her first amazement, "you knew--"
"I knew all, my poor child--but never should I have mentioned yoursecret, had I not had one to entrust you with, of a still more painfulnature. Yours is cruel, but mine is humiliating. Oh, my sister!" addedMdlle. de Cardoville, in a tone impossible to describe, "misfortune,you, see, blends and confounds together what are called distinctions ofrank and fortune--and often those whom the world envies are reduced bysuffering far below the poorest and most humble, and have to seek fromthe latter pity and consolation."
Then, drying her tears, which nosy flowed abundantly, Mdlle. deCardoville resumed, in a voice of emotion: "Come, sister! courage,courage! let us love and sustain each other. Let this sad and mysteriousbond unite us forever."
"Oh, lady! forgive me. But now that you know the secret of my life,"said the workgirl, casting down her eyes, and unable to vanquishher confusion, "it seems to me, that I can never look at you withoutblushing."
"And why? because you love Agricola?" said Adrienne. "Then I must dieof shame before you, since, less courageous than you, I had not thestrength to suffer and be resigned, and so conceal my love in the depthsof my heart. He that I love, with a love henceforth deprived of hope,knew of that love and despised it--preferring to me a woman, the verychoice of whom was a new and grievous insult, if I am not much deceivedby appearances. I sometimes hope that I am deceived on this point. Nowtell me--is it for you to blush?"
"Alas, lady! who could tell you all this?"
"Which you only entrusted to your journal? Well, then--it was the dyingFlorine who confessed her misdeeds. She had been base enough to stealyour papers, forced to this odious act, by the people who had dominionover her. But she had read your journal--and as every good feeling wasnot dead within her, your admirable resignation, your melancholy andpious love, had left such an impression on her mind, that she was ableto repeat whole passages to me on her death bed, and thus to explain thecause of your sudden disappearance--for she had no doubt that the fearof seeing your love for Agricola divulged had been the cause of yourflight."
"Alas! it is but too true, lady."
"Oh, yes!" answered Adrienne, bitterly; "those who employed the wretchedgirl to act as she did, well knew the effect of the blow. It was nottheir first attempt. They reduced you to despair, they would have killedyou, because you were devoted to me, and because you had guessed theirintentions. Oh! these black-gowns are implacable, and their power isgreat!" said Adrienne, shuddering.
"It is fearful, lady."
"But do not be alarmed, dear child; you see, that the arms of the wickedhave turned against themselves; for the moment I knew the cause of yourflight, you became dearer to me than ever. From that time I made everyexertion to find out where you were; after long efforts, it was onlythis morning that the person I had employed succeeded in discoveringthat you inhabited this house. Agricola was with me when I heard it, andinstantly asked to accompany me."
"Agricola!" said Mother Bunch, clasping her hands; "he came--"
"Yes, my child--be calm. Whilst I attended to you, he was busy with yourpoor sister. You will soon see him."
"Alas, lady!" resumed the hunchback, in alarm. "He doubtless knows--"
"Your love! No, no; be satisfied. Only think of the happiness of againseeing your good and worthy brother."
"Ah, lady! may he never know what caused me so much shame, that I waslike to die of it. Thank God, he is not aware of it!"
"Then let us have no more sad thoughts, my child. Only remember, thatthis worthy brother came here in time to save us from everlastingregrets--and you from a great fault. Oh! I do not speak of theprejudices of the world, with regard to the right of every creature toreturn to heaven a life that has become too burdensome!--I only say thatyou ought not to have died, because those who love you, and whom youlove, were still in need of your assistance."
"I thought you happy; Agricola was married to the girl of his choice,who will, I am sure, make him happy. To whom could I be useful?"
"First, to myself, as you see--and then, who tells you that Agricolawill never have need of you? Who tells you, that his happiness, or thatof his family, will last forever, and will not be tried by cruel shocks?And even if those you love had been destined to be always happy, couldtheir happiness be complete without you? And would not your death, withwhich they would perhaps have reproached themselves, have left behind itendle
"It is true, lady," answered the other, "I was wrong--the dizziness ofdespair had seized me--frightful misery weighed upon us--we had notbeen able to find work for some days--we lived on the charity of a poorwoman, and her the cholera carried off. To-morrow or next day, we musthave died of hunger."
"Die of hunger!--and you knew where I lived!"
"I had written to you, lady, and receiving no answer, I thought youoffended at my abrupt departure."
"Poor, dear child! you must have been, as you say, seized with dizzinessin that terrible moment; so that I have not the courage to reproach youfor doubting me a single instant. How can I blame you? Did I not myselfthink of terminating my life?"
"You, lady!" cried the hunchback.
"Yes, I thought of it--when they came to tell me, that Florine, dying,wished to speak to me. I heard what she had to say; her revelationschanged my projects. This dark and mournful life which had becomeinsupportable to me, was suddenly lighted up. The sense of duty wokewithin me. You were no doubt a prey to horrible misery; it was my dutyto seek and save you. Florine's confessions unveiled to me the new plotsof the enemies of my scattered family, dispersed by sorrows and cruellosses; it was my duty to warn them of their danger, and to unite themagainst the common enemy. I had been the victim of odious manoeuvres:it was my duty to punish their authors, for fear that, encouraged byimpunity, these black-gowns should make other victims. Then the sense ofduty gave me strength, and I was able to rouse myself from my lethargy.With the help of Abbe Gabriel, a sublime, oh! a sublime priest--theideal of a true Christian--the worthy brother of Agricola--Icourageously entered on the struggle. What shall I say to you, my child?The performance of these duties, the hope of finding you again, havebeen some relief to me in my trouble. If I was not consoled, I was atleast occupied. Your tender friendship, the example of your resignation,will do the rest--I think so--I am sure so--and I shall forget thisfatal love."
At the moment Adrienne pronounced these words, rapid footsteps wereheard upon the stairs, and a young, clear voice exclaimed: "Oh! dear me,poor Mother Bunch! How lucky I have come just now! If only I could be ofsome use to her!"
Almost immediately, Rose-Pompon entered the garret with precipitation.Agricola soon followed the grisette, and pointing to the open window,tried to make Adrienne understand by signs, that she was not to mentionto the girl the deplorable end of the Bacchanal Queen. This pantomimewas lost on Mdlle. de Cardoville. Adrienne's heart swelled with grief,indignation, pride, as she recognized the girl she had seen at the PorteSaint-Martin in company with Djalma, and who alone was the cause of thedreadful sufferings she endured since that fatal evening. And, strangeirony of fate! it was at the very moment when Adrienne had just made thehumiliating and cruel confession of her despised love, that the woman,to whom she believed herself sacrificed, appeared before her.
If the surprise of Mdlle. de Cardoville was great, Rose-Pompon's was notless so. Not only did she recognize in Adrienne the fair young lady withthe golden locks, who had sat opposite to her at the theatre, on thenight of the adventure of the black panther, but she had serious reasonsfor desiring most ardently this unexpected interview. It is impossibleto paint the look of malignant joy and triumph, that she affected tocast upon Adrienne. The first impulse of Mdlle. de Cardoville was toquit the room. But she could not bear to leave Mother Bunch at thismoment, or to give, in the presence of Agricola, her reasons for such anabrupt departure, and moreover, an inexplicable and fatal curiosity heldher back, in spite of her offended pride. She remained, therefore, andwas about to examine closely, to hear and to judge, this rival, whohad nearly occasioned her death, to whom, in her jealous agony, she hadascribed so many different aspects, in order to explain Djalma's lovefor such a creature.