Leather Pants by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
There was an instant glumness in the room and everyone—Jack, Maria, and Taylor—suddenly became glossy eyed.
It meant Colt was that bad. “Please, Jack. I have to see him. If he dies, I won’t get another chance. And I really care about him. A lot.”
Jack stared for a long moment, perhaps shocked that Sarah had actually admitted to having feelings for Colt.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he finally said. “Maybe we can wheel your gurney into his room.”
“Thank you.” Sarah sighed with relief and noticed a strange sound coming from outside, through the closed window. It was a melodic humming that reminded her of Christmas carolers. “What is that?”
Taylor glanced over her shoulder at the window, her eyes tearing up. “It’s Colt’s fans. There are hundreds of people outside, praying for him.”
“Hundreds more keep coming,” Maria said. “They’ve practically shut down the street. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Sarah listened for several long moments to the peaceful lull of the singing, and that was the moment she realized the magnitude of her mistake for rejecting Colt. Sarah began thinking, reaching for the truth. Because now, looking back at her objections to Colt—that he was bad for her career—didn’t feel right. Yes, there was truth to him not being the best choice in terms of optics, but what made her career more important than everything else in her life? Even finding love? Something bigger and uglier had been driving her need to climb the legal ladder.
The truth suddenly felt crystal clear. My dad.
She always knew that growing up with an innocent father in prison had made her determined to see justice served correctly, but there was another side to that coin. Shame. She’d always feared that others would see her as lesser because of her father. Guilt by association. Emotionally, she had turned her back on her father, despite keeping a relationship with him until the end when he died of a heart attack. But on the inside, she hated how his mess had tarnished her life. Her and her mother’s. And those invisible scars were still running her life, including turning her back on a man she genuinely liked. All because she didn’t want to be seen as an extension of him—a “bad boy.” Yes, she’d been lying to herself, saying that she didn’t like bad boys because some guy back in high school convinced her to steal for him. He’d put a bottle of whiskey in her backpack. She’d gotten caught and almost went to juvie. Of course, Billy, the idiot she’d been dating, got off free. She had to do community service and was on probation for a year. It had broken her poor mother’s heart.
But none of her adult choices and behavior really had anything to do with Billy or bad boys or Colt’s reputation. It was all about her shame. And her ego. She needed to prove to the world she wasn’t her father—a “criminal,” a “bad person.” Of course, he hadn’t been. But the world still saw him that way.
Jesus. How had she become so lost? And what a waste. She’d given up so much of her life to her career, and not only had she blown it, she no longer felt sure she’d ever really wanted it.
I’m so lost.
“Taylor? Did you call my mother?” Sarah whispered.
“Yes, sweetie. I did. She’s on the first flight.”
Sarah let out a breath. “Good. I need to talk to her.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Two days later, Sarah still had not seen Colt. Jack had said that he would try to sneak Sarah in when Colt was alone, but he was never alone. Also, like herself, Colt had a guard posted outside his door. Mary was still on the loose, and no one but hospital staff and family would be getting in to see him. So she’d had no choice but to join the masses in praying—something she hadn’t done since she was a child—and hope that Colt made it.
“Being helpless sucks,” Sarah mumbled, waking up to an empty hospital room at eight o’clock in the morning.
“You are not helpless! You never were, and you never will be.” Sarah’s mother appeared in the doorway, wearing a pink muumuu and big sun hat.
“You’re here.” Sarah smiled.
“I flew in yesterday and stopped by, but you were all doped up.” She took a seat next to the bed. “You kept talking about saving the intergalactic space treaty.”
Yes, my new career.
“So how are you feeling, baby?” Her mother leaned in and petted Sarah’s hair.
Let me see… “I was shot by a madwoman, the world thinks I made Colt Young my unwilling sex slave, and I’m under investigation for corruption and obstructing justice. I’d say I’m awesome.”
Her mother’s blue eyes narrowed. She looked like an older version of Sarah, but with silver hair instead of brown. And a killer tan. Her mother spent her days golfing and playing cards with her friends at the retirement community she’d moved to in Florida about a year ago.
“Okay, now,” said her mother. “You have earned the right to feel sorry for yourself. But no more than five minutes. Then you need to pick yourself up and take a good hard look at everything you’ve accomplished: your education, your career, and the people you’ve helped.”
“Yeah, I’m like the Mother Teresa of punishments. People love going to jail.”
Her mother frowned. “Sarah, perhaps you don’t receive thank you cards, but because of you, there’s one less child murdered by a drunk driver, one less wife beaten to death, one less person selling drugs on the street. You should be proud of the work you do. I am.”
“I’m not. That’s the problem. I ended up here, in a hospital, and now I think I’ve spent my life trying to somehow make up for Dad. I needed to show everyone I was good, and…I don’t know who I am or how I’m going to get through this.”
“Oh, sweetie, that’s the drugs speaking. You know exactly who you are: you’re Sarah. You can lose your job, you can have a horrible scar on your stomach, and someone you love can even go to jail. But those things will never change who you are. My daughter has always believed in leaving this world a better place than she found it. And it doesn’t matter what your title is, nothing ever gets in your way. You will get through this.”
Maybe her mother was right: You are so much more than what you do, how famous you are, or how much money you make. The only approval that really counted was her own.
“So is it true?” her mother whispered. “Did you make Colt Young your sex slave? How was he? I just love him. Oooh, and those tight leather pants.” Her mother fanned her face.
Oh, Jesus. Her mother sounded like Luci.
“Mom, seriously?”
“Hey there, lazy ass, ready to take a ride to radiology?” Jack appeared in her room. “Oh, hi, Mrs. Alma. I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Jack!” Sarah’s mother popped up and gave him a big hug. “My, my, aren’t you looking fit.” She gave his biceps a squeeze. “Are you still single? Because I know a nice girl who’s—”
“Mom, Jack is not interested.”
“What?” her mother protested. “I don’t want him to end up like you—single, no children, and with a broken career.”
“Thanks, Mom.” The inspiration she’d felt over that pep talk fizzled out.
“I’m fine, Mrs. Alma. Not quite ready to hit the dating scene. But I am ready to take Sarah here for a few tests.” Jack gave Sarah a wink.
Oh! He was taking her to see Colt. Finally!
“I’m ready when you are,” Sarah said enthusiastically.
“Great.” Jack disappeared for a moment and returned with a wheelchair.
Jack helped ease Sarah out of the bed and moved her IV onto the little rod connected to the wheelchair.
“No looking at my ass, Jack.” She knew it was hanging out in the back of her gown as she slid off the bed and he slowly lowered her into the chair.
“Sorry. I looked.” Jack chuckled. “It’s a nice ass, by the way. You do nice work, Mrs. Alma.”
Her mother chuckled. “Thank you, dear. Perhaps you should consider taking that butt out for a date once Sarah is all better.”
“Ewww, Mom. Jack’s like my b
Grinning with amusement, Jack bent in front of Sarah and flipped down the footrests. “I’m afraid I only have eyes for you, Mrs. Alma.”
Her mother giggled.
“Bring your daughter back in a few,” said Jack.
“I’ll be here,” she said sweetly.
Jack wheeled Sarah from the room and the bit of air on her face felt good. She’d been sitting in that room for three days now, only managing to stand a few moments at a time for a sponge bath and a quick brush of her teeth.
“God, I can’t believe you were flirting with my mother, Jack.”
“Hey, your mother’s adorable.”
They passed a nurse—a young brunette with a perky nose—who smiled at Jack like she wanted to eat him up. Two seconds later, they passed another nurse—a blonde this time—and then another. Wow. Jack sure is popular.
“So are you really still not seeing anyone?” she wondered.
“No,” Jack replied sharply. “And I plan to keep it that way. Indefinitely.”
Jack was divorced from Doris, his childhood sweetheart, who’d left him for a woman. He and Doris had been more than spouses, they were best friends. They did cooking classes together, went to Giants games, and went on exotic vacations. They were inseparable. When he lost her, Jack not only had his trust broken by the love of his life, but by his best friend, too. Sadly, all attempts to get him to move on landed in the no-hear zone. He would not listen.
“Well, take it from me, Jack. Life is short. You can’t sit around feeling afraid. It will get you nowhere.”
“I’m fine, Sarah. I like being alone. Gives me more time to focus on my career.”
“Yeah, good luck with that strategy.” Worked wonders for me.
Jack mumbled something unsavory under his breath before stopping in front of a door where a police officer was seated to the side.
“Hey, Jon. This is Judge Alma. She’s here to see Colt.”
Officer Jon looked Sarah over and smiled like he knew her. “Judge. Saraaah.” He bobbed his head several times. “The Hammer.”
Sarah frowned. “Hammer?”
“Oh yeah. Everyone knows you’re the toughest judge in the city. No mercy. Just the way it should be.”
Hammer? They thought she was tough? How strange. She always thought she was fair. Hard punishments for those who deserved it. Second chances for those who did not.
“All that bullshit in the press,” he said, shaking his head with disgust. “Nobody believes you’re corrupt. Not a single damned one of us, Judge.”
Sarah felt speechless. “Thank you, Officer…” She leaned in to look at his badge. “Officer Reynolds.”
“Don’t mention it.” He stood and opened the door for Sarah. “You can have five minutes, but that’s all I can do. I’m not allowed to let anyone in except for the brother and doctors.”
What a nice guy. “Thank you, Officer.” She was about to ask if he was single, because Holly was really into men in uniform, but she suddenly noticed Officer Reynolds checking out Jack. Jeez, Jack must be giving out the “I’m available vibe.” Everyone wanted a piece.
That explains how Jack got him to do this favor.
“Don’t mention it, Your Honor. Anything for my favorite judge.” He gave her a quick nod and then closed the door.
“All right, Sarah,” said Jack. “No getting up. No burpees. And absolutely no peeking under the patient’s gown. I’ll be back in five.”
Sarah resisted rolling her eyes. “I’ve already seen it. And I’m not a pervert.”
Jack shrugged. “Not according to the tabloids. By the way, did you really give your virginity to ET?”
“Get out.”
Jack laughed and exited the room. He was still the big brother who loved to get her goat. And now, more than ever, she appreciated everything she had. Life wasn’t simply precious, it was fleeting.
She looked at Colt’s immobile body and pale face. Crap. He looked like a wilted flower. “Colt? Colt? It’s me, Sarah. Can you hear me?”
Flowers. The room smelled of flowers. And the air from the vent above was making his nose cold. His head and shoulder also hurt, but the pain and sensations around him felt like they were separate from himself, as if in another room where he was aware of their presence, but they couldn’t touch him.
I’m in a hospital, he thought somewhere in the back of his mind. A mind that was also aware of how his body felt heavy and dense, like a rock at the bottom of a cold, dark river. If he could open his eyes, he would rise to the surface, where there was sunlight and clean air. But the pain is waiting for you up there.
“Colt? Can you hear me?” A soft, lovely voice flooded his ears, sending a pleasant shock wave through his consciousness.
Sarah. He knew there were things he wanted to say, but those thoughts were out of reach, somewhere in that room he couldn’t get to.
She went on, “Colt, if you can hear me, I just want to say that I am so, so sorry for judging you like I did. You were right, and I was wrong. I did look down on you. I thought I was better than you because of my title and position. And all I could see was what I might lose if we got involved, but I ignored what I could gain.” She drew a shallow breath, and he could hear the ache in it. “I thought you were bad. But it’s clear that there’s more good inside you than most and that’s why people are so drawn to you. I mean, yes, you’re sexy as hell, too. But that’s not why there are a thousand people camped in the streets, praying for you. They love you for your heart and soul, for the joy and music you bring to their lives.” Sarah was silent for a long time. Too long. Colt wanted to reach out and grab her hand, to tell her “thank you.” But his body wouldn’t obey.
“Anyway,” she finally said, “I think I might be falling in love with you. Which is completely insane because I know we don’t know each other well, and it makes me sound like one of those groupies you accused me of being. But when I think about the way you look at me or how you tried to save me or the sound of your voice, I can’t breathe. I wanted you to know that in case you can hear me and you die.”
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” said a deep familiar voice.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Sarah looked up at Colt’s brother, Mike, looming over her. She was struck again by how much he and Colt really looked alike. Strong jaws and beautiful cheekbones. Deep dimples and cleft chins. Tall, well-proportioned bodies.
But seeing Mike only made the gravity of Colt’s condition that much more vivid. The contrast between how Colt should look and did look was jarring. The rosy color was gone from his handsome face and the liveliness she loved so much was missing.
“How’d you get in here?” Mike said, his face red.
Sitting in her wheelchair, Sarah blinked up at him. Dammit. She didn’t want to get anyone in trouble, including Officer Reynolds.
Sarah put on her “Hammer” face. “Obviously, I wheeled myself in, counselor. How the hell else?”
“Well, as you can see, my brother is unwell. And unconscious. So any business of the court will have to wait.”
“I’m sorry,” she said in her toughest, bitchiest tone possible, “but I have to ask; what crawled up your khakis? I’m not the one who shot him. In fact, I was shot because of one of his crazy fans.”
Mike took a breath and let it out. “I’m sorry, Your Honor. It’s been a rough few days.”
His genuine anguish deflated her façade in an instant. “Any signs of progress?”
Mike nodded, staring at his brother. “Yes. The nurse says that he spoke your name this morning.”
“Really? That’s great news.” Sarah could see that Mike felt injured in some way.
Maybe the jerk deserved it. After all, he’d had zero issue with blackmailing her. Who knew what else he’d done?
Stop. This isn’t the time. His brother might die.
“I’m sure Colt only wanted to know how I was since we nearly died together,” she offered. “But he’ll be awake soon and then you c
Mike shrugged, not amused by her attempt at humor. “Once he wakes up, he won’t ever want to talk to me again.”
“Why’s that?”
Mike straightened his spine, looking uncomfortable, like he’d said something he shouldn’t. “Oh, you know how us brothers are—it’s always the other one’s fault.”
Weird. Mike was lying. She could sense it in her gut. The question was, what was he hiding? The guilt practically oozed from his skin.
No longer unable to resist judging, Sarah’s mind started hunting for answers. Honestly, she already knew Mike was a sleazeball. He’d colluded with Wright to blackmail her all because he wanted to make sure Colt played that first stop on his tour, which was worth one point five million dollars to Mike.
It was a very underhanded thing to do, but Mike hadn’t seemed to feel one bit guilty when he’d spoken about it at the charity ball.
So what other things had Mikey done to ensure his brother kept bringing in the big bucks?
“I know this isn’t any of my business, but why do you think Colt’s mind refuses to remember certain things after the accident? There must’ve been something that emotionally traumatized him.” Colt was no wuss; that was for sure. But he was also the sort of man who led with his heart. In a completely fearless, badass kind of way. If something had caused him to block out the incident, then maybe there was a reason beyond just his wreck.
Mike gave Sarah a look of sheer hatred, as if to say “How dare you ask me that?” He pasted on a fake smile. “Who knows? What’s important is that he’s going to heal and his career isn’t ruined, so he’ll have that to look forward to when he’s recovered.”
“So you think his memory will come back, and he’ll be able to perform?” The concert was in two weeks and way too soon for Colt to play, but she wanted to see how Mike would react.
“The tour was postponed.”
“Oh wow. That’s got to be rough. It means Colt won’t get his ten million dollars.” She shook her head.