Leave a Candle Burning by Lori Wick
Scottie’s hair, also red, but with more blonde to it, had curls aplenty, and the three-year-old was swiftly fascinated. She discarded the brush in order to wrap the fat curls around her fist, her face rapt.
“What is she doing back there?” Scottie wished to know.
“She’s quite taken with your curls,” Reese laughed, picking up the hairbrush to fix her own hair and then brushing Scottie’s where Corina had made snarls.
“Sottie has spurles,” the women heard Corina say, and they laughed together. Corina’s vocabulary was always a surprise.
The opening of the back door sounded during the midst of this, and the women waited for the men to find them.
“Well, now,” Conner smiled at the sight. “Two victims today, Corina?”
“Sottie has spurles,” Corina told the big man.
“She has what?” Conner looked to his wife, who was laughing once again.
“It’s her word for curls,” Scottie explained. Some hair had fallen into her face, but she could still see.
“What’s the word for dessert?” Troy asked.
Reese laughed again before asking, “Who won?”
“I did,” Troy announced, his smile only slightly proud.
“In that case, I’ll get the coffee boiling.”
Troy and Conner trailed after Reese, but Dannan had taken a seat across from Scottie and his daughter.
“This looks fun,” Dannan observed, hoping he was masking his true feelings. Scottie looked even more appealing with her hair down.
“Corina certainly thinks so,” Scottie said, pushing hair from her face.
“Corina,” Reese called from the other room. “Can you come here?”
“You’d better go,” her dad encouraged her, but he sat still. The moment Corina was gone, Scottie began to gather her hair. Dannan spotted the hair pins in her lap, quickly sat on the sofa with her, and plucked them into his hand.
“I need those,” Scottie stated matter-of-factly, still gathering and twisting.
“Leave it down.”
The look she shot him was withering, but Dannan only smiled.
“Is Scottie a nickname?”
“No. Give me the pins.”
“Where did you get it?”
Scottie had her hair in place now and needed only to secure it, but Dannan had not relinquished the pins.
With one hand holding her hair in place and the other held out for the pins, Scottie negotiated, “I’ll tell you as soon I get the pins.”
Dannan gave her one.
“I need the rest,” she said, stabbing the one into place.
Dannan gave her one more and then sat back. “Story first.”
“And I’ll get the pins?”
“Yes.”
“All of them?”
“Yes.”
“All right. I was born in a home for girls and was named by the matron. She’d been told I was a boy, so she named me Scott after her brother. By the time she learned I was a girl, she’d already documented my name in her book. She simply decided to add an ie to make it feminine.”
The story told, Scottie’s hand went out and Dannan gave up the pins. Scottie made short work of the task and then looked at the man on the other end of the sofa.
“You’re a tease, Dannan MacKay.”
“I think I’m just a man who knows what he likes.”
“And what’s that exactly?”
Reese called to say dessert was ready before Dannan could answer. They both stood and started toward the door, but Dannan took Scottie’s hand and stopped her.
“This next week, I want the two of us to find some time to talk.”
“Uninterrupted time?” Scottie asked.
“Yes!”
Nothing more was said on their plans to talk or Dannan’s reaction to Scottie’s hair, but Scottie was more aware of him that afternoon than she’d ever been.
“What did you think of the sermon, Finn?” Scottie asked Monday morning by the garden fence. After the service he had slipped away before she could catch him.
“I don’t have an opinion yet,” he spoke honestly, “but I’m thinking about it.”
“Well, I’m glad you were there” was all Scottie said. She didn’t press him. Finn expected no less from her, but when she only smiled at him and kept working, he felt himself relax. She hadn’t even asked if he would be returning. He planned on it, but not having pressure on the issue was just what he needed to bring him back.
Dannan went to the Peterson house for dinner on Monday. Iris served a pork roast with all the trimmings, and the five of them feasted. Not until the end of the meal did Dannan take up his business with Iris.
“Do you cut hair?” Dannan asked of her.
“Certainly.”
“I need some of Corina’s to come off. She wants long hair, but I’ve told her that has to wait. If she gives you a hard time, I need to know about it.”
Iris agreed and went to work on the job right after Corina’s nap. What she was not prepared for were Corina’s sad tears. There was no fit, no fighting, and no disrespect, but the fact that this haircut broke the girl’s small heart was more than obvious.
Corina sat quietly outside on a tall stool under the sheet Iris had draped around her, silent little tears trickling down her face. Iris got through it, but just barely. Indeed, she waited only until Dannan was back in her kitchen at the end of the day to tell him what she thought.
“I can’t do it again, Dannan,” she whispered. “It like to broke my heart.”
Dannan looked over to see what Iris meant. Corina, sober as a judge, sat at her little table, not playing or even holding her doll. Dannan wanted to tell her how nice she looked, but he could see she was ready to cry again.
“You need a wife.” Iris shared her view without warning, her voice still low.
“Is that right?”
“Yes! A wife would be willing to have it a bit longer.”
Dannan smiled into the cook’s eyes but didn’t comment. Iris tried not to smile back, but it didn’t work. Scottie chose that moment to arrive in the kitchen and go straight to Corina.
“Here, Corina.” She lifted the little girl and stood her on the play table. She proceeded to tie a thin pink ribbon to a tiny lock of Corina’s hair and stepped back to admire it. “You look so pretty. You can wear this every day. If Dannan can’t put it in for you, bring it with you, and I’ll fix it for you.”
Corina reached for the ribbon, touching it carefully, and smiled at Scottie. Dannan and Iris watched, smiles appearing for them as well. Iris then turned with raised brows to Dannan, who whispered to her that he was working on the suggestion, but some things could not be rushed.
Iris did not look convinced, and once again it was time for Dannan to take his daughter home. He did so, telling himself it was time to get Scottie to himself. He didn’t know when or how, but this was the week, and he was determined to do it.
Twenty
“I have an unusual request to make of you,” Dannan said to Conner on Tuesday, having thought on the issue for hours the night before.
“Shoot.”
“Scottie and I need a place we can talk. I’d like it to be somewhat private, but not so private that it would damage her reputation.”
“Why don’t you use our small parlor?” Conner suggested.
“I must admit I was hoping you would suggest that.”
“That’s fine. When are you thinking?”
“I haven’t talked to Scottie about this yet, but I was hoping for tomorrow evening.”
“Come for tea,” Conner said in his usual welcoming way. “The two of you can talk afterward, and we’ll keep Corina occupied.”
“I’m going to ask Iris to keep her. Scottie and I very much need some uninterrupted time, and if Corina knows I’m in the house, that might not happen.”
“Good enough. I’ll tell Reese you’ll be joining us.”
Dannan thanked Conner sincerely, unbelievably excited to visit with Scotti
Dannan left the bank building to go on with his rounds, his step light. If tomorrow evening worked for both Scottie and Iris, it would be a date.
“Well, Scottie,” Doyle greeted when she entered his store. “How are you this warm day?”
Scottie laughed. “I think hot describes it better, Doyle. Warm is what it was in the night.”
“Yes, and after that cold rain last week.”
“Corina and I got caught out in it. I didn’t think I would ever get warm again.”
“How is she doing, Scottie?” Doyle leaned across the counter with interest. “Cathy and I pray for her every day. How do you think Corina is managing?”
“I think she’s doing well. Dannan has told me she’ll ask for her mother when they’re home, but she never mentions her when she is with us.”
“Maybe Dannan will marry, and that will fill the need in her heart.”
“Maybe.” Scottie smiled, but Doyle didn’t catch it.
“What can I get for you?” he asked as the conversation moved on.
Not until Scottie left did she realize how comfortable she was with the idea of marrying Dannan. She wasn’t sure when her heart had settled in that place. It couldn’t have been too long ago, considering how recently Eli had still been with them, but at the moment, marrying Dannan seemed like the most normal thing in the world.
“It’s important to me that you know something,” Scottie began early in their conversation in the small parlor at the big house. “I kept Corina at arm’s length for a while. Her parents’ death was too reminiscent of the girls’ home.”
“I couldn’t tell you were doing that,” Dannan admitted.
“Iris noticed and tried to push me, but I had to do it in my time.”
“What was it like?”
“I didn’t expect to feel that way, but I saw our faces in Corina. She adjusted to Iris in a way that only God could have planned, but at times she looked vulnerable, and when that happened it was like I was an orphan all over again.”
“Did you ever know your mother?” Dannan asked.
“No, she had me and left. When I was about eleven, Matron did tell me that my mother was very young but from a good home. Years later I thought back on it and realized that was not how things normally worked at the home. If the mother lived through childbirth, she was expected to take the child with her. I get the impression that my mother’s family must have paid handsomely to walk away like they did.”
“Were you never tempted to look for them?”
“I wasn’t tempted to find my mother, but even if I had, my last name of Davis was not my family’s name. It was given to me by Matron. Without a name to work with, it would have been close to impossible.”
Dannan nodded, taking it all in and then asked, “And you were there until when?”
“I was 12 when Mrs. Peterson came looking for a girl.”
Dannan smiled. “Did she ever tell you what she saw?”
Scottie nodded, a little embarrassed to repeat it but willing to try.
“I was just starting to look like a woman. Mrs. Peterson told me that she took one look at my beautiful face and feared what would happen to me. We were worked hard at the orphanage. The threat of deserved punishment was very real, but we were never assaulted. Mrs. Peterson couldn’t have known that. She just knew that she had to rescue me right then.”
Something clenched in Dannan’s gut to think of her in the girls’ home, cared for but not loved.
“What was it like at first, coming to the Petersons?”
“Strange and a bit scary, even though they were all so kind. I went on a trial basis. Technically I wasn’t adopted, but very soon it felt like I had been. I learned later that they knew right away that they wanted me to stay, but I didn’t understand that for a while, even though I was treated so well with time off and my own room.”
“And Eli? Did you get to know him right away?”
“Oh, yes. Mrs. Peterson took me everywhere. I read to Eli from the first week.” Scottie’s voice suddenly caught as a memory came flooding back. “The first time we met he pretended to get my name wrong. He called me Snotty just to tease me. We became friends because of that.”
“And you married when?”
“When his mother died. I had found a place to live and was looking for work when Eli suggested that I marry him. At first I was appalled, but it didn’t take long for me to see that nothing else made sense. With his mother gone, Eli needed me more than ever.”
“What about your needs?”
“God was just taking care of me, Dannan. There is no other explanation. I was only 18, and although Tucker Mills is full of fine people, it’s not perfect. I would have been rather unprotected had I left Eli’s household.”
“Were you connected to the church family at that time?”
“Yes, and I could have gone to them, but I didn’t know as much as I know now, and I’m not sure that would have occurred to me.”
Dannan was still taking it in when Scottie asked a question.
“What did you want to tell me last week after the rainstorm?”
“Only that my heart is certain about you.”
“And that happened because of the storm?”
“Not just that, but if I’d had any doubts, they disappeared when I thought you might be hurt.”
Scottie was thinking on this when Dannan asked, “What about you and your feelings about us right now?”
“You’re going to think this odd. It makes perfect sense to me that we’ll be married someday, but as to how I’m feeling, I’m still confused about that.”
“I’m glad you told me. I think joining the lives of two people is very hard, and it would be harder still if we didn’t love each other. We need to keep talking, but we can’t get married until we’re sure we’re in love.”
“Why is it so hard?” Scottie asked. Her own experience with marriage was nothing like Dannan described.
“I think because we each have our own set of needs, and sometimes those needs don’t get met in the way we think they’re going to. And look at how hard it’s been for us to even find time to talk. If we were married, we’d see each other off and on during the day, but not necessarily be alone or able to talk.”
“Which reminds me,” Scottie put in. “At times I’m afraid to become Corina’s mother. Her mother sounds like she was a wonderful person, and I don’t know if I can fill her shoes.”
“Corina adores you,” Dannan assured her, not aware she felt this way. “And everything I’ve witnessed in you only reassures me that you’re perfect for the job.”
“Is that really how you feel?”
“Yes, but tell me why you fear this.”
“It’s ongoing. On days when I feel tired or even unthankful and complaining in my heart, I can take time for myself. A child’s needs must be met every day. Corina can’t wait for me to get myself settled. She’ll need me no matter what.”
“Your point is a good one, but I’m not seeing this selfish person, Scottie. You might have days when you’re tired, but your care of Eli could not be faulted. I realize you had Finn to aid in that, but I haven’t seen this unthankful, moody person who needs time alone.”
Scottie stared at him. Where had all this come from? She realized she was not a moody person and did work hard to be thankful and keep on, no matter what.
“I guess I’m just being tempted to fear,” she said.
“I can ask you about it in the days to come, but I’m not concerned about that.”
Scottie was glad to hear that and then realized this was nothing like she’d imagined. How could they sit so calmly across the room from each other and discuss this life-changing event with such clear minds? Scottie said as much, and Dannan smiled.
“I’m glad to think I’ve fooled you into thinking my head is clear.”
Scottie laughed. “What does that mean?”
“Only that my emotions concerning you are so strong, at times they gallop around the room.”
“What kind of emotions?”
“Love, among other things.”
“You already feel like you love me?”
“Yes.”
Scottie stared at him as a thousand thoughts ran through her mind. Why hadn’t she seen this? It was so obvious—the things he said, the way he watched her.
“I think Eli must have been right,” Scottie whispered, her voice holding all the wonder she felt. “I don’t know how to do this; I don’t even know what it looks like.”
“Courtship?”
“Yes. You’ve had feelings for me all along—you’ve even told me that—but I just didn’t see it.”
Dannan smiled a little. “I’ll keep that in mind in the future.”
“What exactly?”
“That I might need to explain things to you and not just expect you to know.”
“It’s true, Dannan.” Scottie jumped to her feet. “I don’t get this! It’s all so new.” She stopped and suddenly faced him. “Do you know what? You talked about Adam and Eve kissing, and I had no idea you were really talking about us. Not until right at the end did I catch on.”
Dannan had to laugh.
“Don’t laugh at this, Dannan. I’m pathetic.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is innocent, and it’s very endearing.”
His voice had changed. Scottie sat back down and looked at him.
“It’s scary to be so far out of my depth.”
“I’m sure it is, and I’m also sure it seems to you that I know exactly what I’m doing, but that couldn’t be less true. I flounder around on a regular basis. I’m just not sure you know me well enough at this point to see it.”
Scottie realized how much she wanted to know him. They had talked for several hours, but more was needed. Scottie told Dannan how she felt, and he agreed with her. His own feelings wanted to rush ahead, but just as he said, that would lead to disaster if she didn’t love him.
It had become very dark outside by the time Scottie admitted she was tired. Dannan walked her home. At her door, he asked, “I’m sure Reese would welcome us on Sunday. Shall I check with her?”