Lingus by Mariana Zapata

I got it. I'd seen what it did to Zoey and her past relationship. When they first got together, he thought having a porn star for a girlfriend was the hottest thing ever. He bragged to anyone who would listen that he was dating Zoey Star, vag-eating champion of the world. Then slowly, it stopped being so awesome for him. He started getting jealous as well as frustrated with the idea of Zoey being with other women. Imagine if she was with men? I couldn't bear the thought of it.

  I knew what he was trying to tell me even though my disappointment reached a level that hadn't been seen since I was ten when I didn't get that pony I wanted for Christmas. He didn't want a girlfriend. He was not interested in me in that way because he did porn. I gave myself an internal cheer, screaming at my self-esteem to get up because if I really wanted to be in a relationship, or to have sex with someone, I wouldn't have a problem finding a person to do that with. I was pretty, smart, and funny, I told myself.

  I nodded, forcing a smile because I knew I wouldn't gain anything but loser points by letting him see that his words had bothered me. The awful thing was, I knew I was a terrible actress. Nikki and Josh had drilled that reality in my head forever, but I couldn’t care less. "That makes a ton of sense," I said with an even voice.

  By the look on his face, I could tell he sensed my discomfort because his smile was a mix of sweet and sad. He started pulling at his wild brown hair and sighed. "Kat, I don't have any friends besides Calum, but he's more like a brother to me."

  Josh decided in that moment to start hollering my name across the bar where he stood with his newest friend. I put my index finger up to let him know he needed to give me a second. My stomach didn't know whether to drop or do flip flops because obviously, he wasn't going to be asking me out with this speech, but the anticipation was quickly killing me.

  Tristan continued pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth on his heels like a nervous kid. "Back at the convention I was just trying to tell you that I'd hope we could try to be friends?"

  I wanted to give him the finger.

  But I also wanted to hug him and tell him I'd take whatever he was willing to give me, like a fool.

  But fuck.

  Shit.

  "Yeah," I told him with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

  Should I tell him that my three friends had all seen me naked multiple times and vice-versa? Probably not.

  He gave me a happy smile, nodding at my acceptance of our possible friendship. "Okay."

  I still wanted to give him the finger.

  Twice.

  A deeper urge made me want to yell in frustration because really? I had three great friends already, and I was more about quality than quantity, but my heart was weak and unable to say no to Tristan's request. He was too hot and that's what was terrible about it. He was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen, more so than any movie star or model, and I really couldn't put my finger on what set him apart. I think it was because I had a suspicion that he may have been a reformed nerd, or something along those lines. He was too goofy to have been a well-adjusted person his entire life.

  "I'm gonna go get Josh's keys so I can drive home. It looks like he's going home with his new buddy," I told him, not really knowing whether or not I was asking him to stay and wait for me.

  Tristan nodded. "I'll wait for you here then," he answered, tucking those big hands into his front pockets.

  Josh was hanging off the bar, standing way too close to his new blonde buddy. As soon as he saw me approaching he stepped away from his friend, holding his arms out to wrap me in a hug. "Thank you so much for everything," he said, squeezing me so tightly against him I ran the risk of letting out gas.

  "You're welcome. I hope you had a good party," I mumbled against his neck while he clung to me. "Are you gonna butter your roll tonight?" I asked, poking him in the belly.

  Josh laughed against my hair. "Hell yeah. Have you seen his ass? Those buns were baked to perfection."

  "Oh lord," I snorted.

  Pulling me away just a bit, he dipped his head to look me in the eye. "You're fine to drive my car home, right?"

  I used to roll my eyes at him when he'd assume the role of an over-protective parent, but now I indulged the lad. I asked Nikki and Zoey to call me when they got home whenever they'd leave my apartment, so I wasn’t much better than Josh. "Yeah, I'm good."

  "Alright, Booger Bear," he said, pulling even further away from me before dropping his car keys into my up-turned palm. "Want me to walk you out?"

  I tried to hook my thumb in Tristan's direction as discreetly as possible, and I guessed Josh took the hint because his heavy-lidded eyes went wide. "I'm covered."

  "Are you two...?" Josh started saying before making awful noises. I knew him well enough to get that he was trying to replicate music from porn movies made in the 70s.

  The sigh that slipped out of my lips was heavy and dramatic, I even grimaced at my best friend. "He just asked me if we could be friends. He says he doesn't have girlfriends," I spat out, like the words were venomous.

  "At least he's being honest with you," he started to say before pausing, and then wiggling his ash blonde eyebrows. "I think," he leaned down toward me with a devilish look in his eye. "I think you should be the best fucking friend he's ever had."

  "I think you're drunk."

  Josh rolled his eyes at me as he pushed me toward Tristan. "Think about that, okay? Remember what I told you on the phone, too. I love you!"

  "Love you too," I told him as I tried to let the confusing words sink in. What could he mean by being his best friend? All he conveyed over the phone were compliments. I clenched Josh's electronic key fob in my hand while I made the trek back to Tristan, who looked at me wearily with his hands down the front pockets of his pants. I knew that I probably looked like a mess after the amount I'd sweated. My eyeliner had to be runny, and I was sure my hair was frizzier than a lion's mane, but I was really too tired to care. "Will you walk me to the car?"

  "Yeah, I wouldn't want you to get lost on your way over there," he joked with a smile as he followed me out of the lounge. He was only a few steps behind as we made our way out, and I secretly hoped he was checking out my ass.

  "Yeah, yeah," I muttered with a grin when he caught up to me. Josh and I had found a really good parking spot about two blocks down the street, so the walk wasn't too far. Tristan was so tall next to me I had to look up to talk to him. "So I guess you should tell me what's with the Clark Kent get-up, Magellan."

  He snickered, "Clark Kent?"

  "You know... Superman..." I teased.

  "I know who Clark Kent is, thank you." he chuckled, while his eyes were steadfast on another couple walking the opposite direction on the sidewalk. I felt the pressure of his fingers ghosting across my lower back as I walked a little close to him to avoid running into the couple. "Well, do you think that people take employees in the adult video industry seriously?"

  Was that a trick question? I wondered. As much as I loved Zoey, I'd seen the way people looked at her like she was the spawn of Satan, and it was hurtful. She was one of the best people I'd ever met, but strangers didn't know that. "No, I guess."

  "If Andrew Wood ran for President would you vote for him? Even if he had all the experience in the world?"

  I knew what my answer was, and it made me feel bad because I was just as bad as those people that looked at Zoey weird. "Probably not," I answered softly.

  His fingers brushed against my lower back again. "Don't feel bad, I probably wouldn't either," he admitted, with a sigh. "It took me a long time to decide I wanted to go into law, Kat, and by that time, I'd already done a couple of scenes. If people found out I was Robby Lingus, my chances of finding a firm willing to hire me and take me seriously would be pretty slim. So, I changed my hair color and with the glasses, I've never had anyone recognize me in public."

  I wanted to ask him why he just didn't quit if he was so worried about finding a job after he finished his JD program but I didn't. Maybe another day. I saw his point
though, and it made a lot of sense why he'd go to such extremes to keep his identity a secret. I looked up at Tristan, and saw him looking down the street with a furrowed brow. "The only people who know my real name and know Robby are Calum, Walter, and you. Everyone else just knows me as Tristan."

  "Nikki and my other friends won't say anything." I promised him.

  He looked down at me and smiled. "I trust you. As long as my parents never find out, then it's fine. I think my dad might give me a high-five, but my mom would probably cry and blame herself for raising me wrong," he said and we both started laughing. I could easily remember Zoey coming out to her mom; Mrs. Quinn sat there on her living room couch quietly.

  I spotted Josh's Subaru less than ten feet away before pointing at it. "Are you parked nearby?"

  "Yeah, I'm a block down," he gestured down the direction we were walking in. He shuffled his feet again on the sidewalk, like he'd done earlier. "Can I see your phone?"

  "Yeah." I handed him my phone and watched him press numbers on the screen, after a moment, his robot ringtone started ringing within his pocket.

  "I saved my name under Magellan in your contacts," he told me, handing me back my phone. "I may or may not have saved you as Little Gold Digger," he chuckled.

  "Oh God," I groaned. A girl in a white strapless dress was getting out of a cab across the street when it hit me. I'd said bye to Zoey, Ryan, and Josh, but— "When did Nikki and Calum leave?"

  Chapter 15

  "Have you heard from Nicole today?" I asked.

  Josh was looking down at the screen in front of him, typing in names for our monthly round of competitive bowling. In reality, our "competitive bowling" was an excuse for the winners to talk shit to the losers for three weeks. "No, and I bet we don't hear from her until tomorrow."

  I snickered and kept tying my damp bowling shoes, silently praying that they were wet from disinfectant spray and not sweaty feet. "You're right. She'll probably be walking funny for a week."

  According to Tristan, he'd seen Nicole and Calum sneak out of the club about an hour after they'd gotten to Breeze. He also thought that he might have seen Nikki stick her hands down Calum's pants, and I, unfortunately, had to assure him that he probably did see that happen. I'd tried calling and texting her, but the call went straight to voicemail. If it were any other person missing, I'd be worried, but this was Nikki. If anyone could take care of themselves— it was her.

  I also had a feeling that if she were ever kidnapped, they'd give her back after a couple of hours.

  A big figure settled down onto the seat next to mine, and I knew without looking up that it was Tristan. When Zoey had called with news that she was nursing “a hangover worse than kidney stones," and couldn't come bowling, I texted the only other person I'd want to go bowling with— Tristan. Friends went bowling with each and he was all too excited to tag along. Josh enlisted his buddy from the night before, Leo, and we were set.

  I looked over to see Tristan tying his laces with a big grimace on his face. "Are your shoes wet, too?" I asked.

  He nodded, tying the other shoe before sitting back against the chair. Josh was busy finally putting on his shoes, and Leo was ready and waiting across from us, looking at the screens where our scores would show up. Tristan snorted while squinting as he looked at the monitor above our lane. "Does that say Escalade and Anaconda up there?"

  I opened my mouth with the intention of explaining that it did, in fact, say Escalade up there, but not Anaconda, when the words died on my lips. Anaconda was listed on the screen right below Escalade.

  "Kat is Escalade because she has a big front end and a big bumper." Josh motioned toward his non-existent pectoral muscles, where my breasts would be. "You're Anaconda because we all know that's what you have in your pants," he said, matter-of-factly. He gestured toward his crotch then, but the look on his face made it seem like he thought we lacked the common sense to understand his reasoning.

  Tristan laughed, not seeming to be bothered in the least bit by Josh's explanation, but I was dying. A felt heat build up across my face, giving away my blush. It wasn't because he was talking about my tits and ass, but because I, in fact, did not know he had a beast hidden in his pants. The wink Josh gave me when I looked away from Tristan to gain my composure told me he did it on purpose. The bastard winked and mouthed "BFF" to me like it was supposed to make sense.

  Josh and I went up to start our first game, and he owned my ass on the first frame when I knocked down six pins total against his pickup of spares. Tristan gave me a high-five on my walk back and leaned in close to my ear. "I used to play in a league."

  He'd told me he wouldn't lie to me a couple of times by that point, but after the first and second ball both made it to the gutter with gusto, it was obvious he just had.

  On his walk back, he held his hand up for me to give him a high-five and I did, but I was laughing. "I thought you said you played in a league!" I smirked. "You were talking about little league, weren't you?"

  Tristan scowled at me, amusement written all over his face before pushing me in the direction of the lane. "Shut up. I'm warming up."

  By the end of the first game, Tristan ended up with a whopping score of 35, and I was at 130. Josh and Leo, his friend, were whooping from their side as they claimed how our asses got handed to us and things of that nature. I sat in my chair with my arms crossed over my chest, staring at the two lovers while they did a horrific chest bump.

  "Suck it, Josh!" I screamed at him.

  My blonde friend pointed at Leo with wide eyes. "That's what he said!"

  According to Josh, a gay guy couldn't say, "That's what she said!" So, he put his own gay-appropriate spin on it. I swear, all of my friends were their own form of idiot, but I loved them anyway.

  One game turned into four, one beer turned into three, and our two lanes made more noise than the rest of the bowling alley put together. When I started going up to bowl, Josh would run up and slap my ass as hard as he could— which wasn't very hard at all‚ but it still scared the shit out of me each time and caused me to drop the ball. Leo showed us that he could do the moonwalk when he got a strike. Tristan finally warmed up enough to the point in which he was actually knocking down pins, and then making these really horrible R2D2 noises afterward to celebrate.

  Two hours later, we were on our last frame. By some miracle, we'd tied, and I could have thanked the beers that made Josh giggly because they made him play crappy. He did horrible, only knocking down about six pins, while I got nine. All we needed to win was for Tristan to not suck completely. Ha.

  He leaned his head toward me when I tugged at his shirt, so he could hear me over the loud music. The smile he'd had on his face over the last two hours was tremendous, I was sure he could have lit up a city with it. He stood so close to me I could taste his soapy scent down the back of my throat. "Don't blow it, okay? I want to win at least one game."

  "If my little gold digger wants to win a game, we'll win a game," he promised with crooked, wicked smile.

  Mary Magdalene.

  Could friends have benefits?

  Tristan brushed a hand down the length of my ponytail and walked backward to the lane. Of course, he got a gutter ball on the first turn while Leo managed to knock down four.

  "Don't blow it!" I screamed before laughing at him.

  He gave me another crooked smile when he went for his ball again, while James threw his ball, managing to only knock down three pins. I was squirming from foot to foot like the outcome of the game decided the fate of humanity, but I really, really didn't want Josh to walk around talking about how he'd won every game for the next month.

  Tristan then did the unthinkable by somehow knocking down nine pins.

  By the way we both screamed it was like we'd won the World Series. My tall, new friend, who wore a tight, soft, blue shirt that accented the perfectly flat abs and pillow-like pecs underneath, beelined toward me with his arms stretched out in front of him. I didn't even think twice about jumpin
g into them and wrapping my own around his neck. He was warm and hard against me. His chest was like a solid wall of muscle and it was... ugh. Amazing.

  At some point, I became aware that my feet weren't touching the floor anymore, but two more sets of arms wrapped around me about the same time.

  Tristan stiffened before I felt his chest, which my face was pressed against, start rumbling in laughter.

  "Which one of you just grabbed my ass?"

  It was Josh, of course.

  After saying goodbye to each other in the parking lot, we headed in separate directions toward our cars. Tristan followed me to my car, laughing and retelling me his favorite moments in the game; like when Leo stepped over the line, and then slid five feet across the lane. He had to crawl back to avoid busting his ass.

  "Thanks for inviting me," he said with a big smile, when we were standing right in front of my car door. Covered in a thin layer of sweat, his face glistened just a little by his temples. "I don't think I've had that much fun since high school," he said, and I could tell he was being truthful.

 
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