Love Me Like This by Bella Andre
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
As Caroline helped out in the kitchen and then with serving her guests, Taylor was glad she had the chance to see how well the B&B was running in its inaugural week. Even if Caroline's arrival had been a surprise, it wasn't an unwelcome one. Especially given that Taylor felt a little more tired than usual this morning. Her side wasn't hurting much, apart from that dull ache that she was pretty much used to by now. No doubt the shock of finding her ex sitting in her kitchen as she walked in with her new boyfriend had worn her down a bit.
A couple of hours later, everything in the kitchen and dining room was clean and put away. Rufus and Janet would be in soon to deal with the bathrooms, towels, and sheets. Confident that everything was in order, at least on the business front, Taylor brewed fresh coffee and plated the extra brownies that Maddie had stored in a glass container in the fridge.
As she walked into the parlor, she was pleased to see that Justin and Bruce seemed to have arrived at a truce. They were both on their computers--Justin likely doing more research on PKD--while her mother created a fresh flower display for the front window from the roses in Taylor's garden.
"I'd love it if the four of us could sit down and have a coffee break," Taylor said as she poured coffee into four mugs. She'd never been the kind to force an issue, or to ram an idea down someone's throat, but she didn't want there to be any misunderstanding from this point forward. Particularly when it came to Bruce.
A couple of minutes later, the four of them had each taken a mug and were sitting around the coffee table in the parlor.
"First of all," Taylor said, "I would like to rewind and start this morning again by saying how nice it is to see you, Mom, and you too, Bruce. Family and friends are always welcome here, and I hope you'll accept my invitation to stay in the two available rooms."
There wasn't so much as a flash of surprise on Justin's face. He would have done exactly the same thing for his own family. Putting herself in his shoes, however, she wouldn't have been at all happy to share the same space with one of his exes.
"Of course we'll stay, honey," her mother said. "That's a lovely offer, isn't it, Bruce?"
"It is," Bruce agreed, "but I've got to get back to the bank by tomorrow morning. I've just been alerted to a rather messy international transaction that one of my staff put through. Time, unfortunately, is of the essence."
"It certainly is," Taylor's mother said in a sharp voice, clearly displeased with him. "Which is why you should tell Taylor why you're here. Tell her your plans."
Taylor looked between the two of them. "Plans?"
When Bruce wasn't immediately forthcoming, her mother said, "Bruce wants to donate one of his kidneys to you."
Taylor's mouth dropped open as she spun to look at him. "That's why you came to St. Helena?"
He cleared his throat and pulled at his collar as though it were too tight, despite the fact that two buttons were already undone. "Well...after your mother told me about your diagnosis..." He looked like he'd rather be anywhere else, agreeing to anything else.
"Bruce." Taylor gave him a lopsided smile. "I appreciate your gesture. But you don't have to donate a kidney to me."
"I don't?"
"Of course he does, honey." Her mother's voice cracked with emotion. "If Bruce is a match, he's your very best option."
Taylor knew Justin had to be dying to speak up, but he was keeping his promise. She'd told herself the reasons she'd given Justin to keep his donation offer quiet were perfectly rational, especially when it came to giving her mother false hope. But none of those were the real reasons.
Bluntly put, Taylor had asked him to remain silent because she was still afraid to live her own life and make her own decisions fully and completely. She was still afraid of making the wrong choices, still afraid of taking risks that might not always turn into rewards.
But she couldn't live like that anymore. If she wanted her parents to let go and see that she was a capable adult, perfectly well equipped to make even the hardest decisions, there was no time like the present.
"Justin has offered to be my donor," Taylor blurted before she could wimp out. Bruce went limp with relief as she added, "We did the initial tests yesterday and have a meeting set up with a local donor this afternoon so that she can tell us her story."
Taylor expected her mother to be overjoyed, but Caroline's eyes narrowed as she turned to Justin. "If you're just saying you want to donate so that you can trick my daughter into being with you--"
"Mom!" Taylor cut her off, horrified. "How can you say that?"
But Justin didn't share her fury. Instead, in as steady and genuine a voice as she'd ever heard, he said, "I love your daughter with all my heart, Mrs. Cardenes, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Nothing."
Her mother stared at him, her expression unreadable for several long moments. Finally, she said, "When will you know if you're a match?" Already, despite her reservations about Justin, the fervent hope that Taylor had been worried about was written all over her face.
"Within the next couple of days, I hope. Depending on how well staffed the UC Davis lab is this weekend, however, we may have to wait until Monday."
Silently, Bruce got up to leave the three of them alone to hash things out.
"Given your new relationship with one another," her mother said, "how are you going to deal with your job in Germany? I can't imagine the distance would be a help in either case."
"Mom, please." Taylor didn't think Twenty Questions was fair right now--or ever.
But Justin didn't seem at all perturbed. "I'm already working with my brother Grant to look for a nearby lab to set up operations as soon as possible. He's actually driving up to look at a couple of good options this afternoon before heading to a meeting in the East Bay."
Taylor knew that Justin had planned to make the location change, but she hadn't realized how quickly the other Morrisons would step in to help. Then again, they'd always operated as a team--one she felt immensely honored to become a part of, as Justin's siblings looked out for her the way they'd always looked out for each other.
But before Taylor could express her gratitude at the hours Grant was putting in on Justin's--and on her--behalf, her mother had yet another probing question for him. "Once you move your business here from Germany, where will you live?"
"With me." Taylor didn't think before speaking, but once she said it, she realized she shouldn't be making decisions for Justin, especially when she had repeatedly asked him not to make them for her. "What I meant to say," she said as she turned to face him, "is that I'd love it if you wanted to move in with me. I know my cottage isn't very big, and that you might want a place of your own, so I don't want you to feel pressured or anything."
"Of course I want to move in with you. The only reason I hadn't suggested it already is because I didn't want to pressure you."
"Pressure, shmessure," Caroline said. Taylor had almost forgotten her mother was still in the room. "If the two of you are going to be exchanging kidneys, then moving in together is hardly a big deal."
That was when Taylor realized they had skipped past one very important detail. "The thing is, Mom, even if Justin does end up being a match, I don't know if I'm going to let him go through with it."
"Are you crazy?" Her mother jumped out of her seat. "Of course you're going to let Justin donate his kidney to you!"
This was exactly what Taylor had wanted to avoid. But though her stomach was twisted in knots, she couldn't back down at the first hurdle. Not if she was going to prove to her mother--and to herself--that her days of being afraid to make her own decisions were over.
"I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it all," she explained. "And I'm not going to let anyone make me feel guilty for not being sure. This is a super big, super hard decision. One I would never take lightly, even if everyone else thinks it should already be a done deal."
She expected her mother to come right back at her with arguments, with pleas to see reaso
Really seeing her.
"All I want is for you to be okay again," Caroline said eventually, the words halting. "To not be sick anymore." Tears fell, but she didn't wipe them away. "The last thing I want is to make things worse for you, honey. I just want to support you in any way I can. That's why I came. That's why I brought Bruce."
"I know, Mom." Taylor slid across Bruce's empty seat to her mother's side, knowing in her heart that it was finally time to talk about the one thing they'd never spoken of--but desperately needed to. "Emily," she began in a soft voice. "My sister, what was she like?" She gripped her mom's hands. "I know it's hard for you to talk about her, but I've wanted to know for so long."
"Emily was beautiful." Her mother's words were barely above a whisper. "She looked so much like you, but with bright green eyes. And when she laughed..." For a moment, Taylor thought her mother was going to break down. But then, she gave a small smile instead. "Her laughter was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world."
"I wish I could have known her," Taylor said.
"I was only just pregnant with you when she got that fever--the doctor said it was nothing to worry about--" She broke off on a sob.
"Mom, I'm so sorry." Taylor hugged her mother, wishing she could take away her pain.
"Once I had you, and then your brother, I prayed I would never hear another doctor tell me one of you was ill. But I couldn't stop worrying. It's why I always tried to keep you close. To make sure you stayed safe. I was terrified when you moved away, when I couldn't keep watch over you, but the truth is that you've flourished, honey. Flourished without my hovering over you every second. But then..." More tears fell. "How can it be fair? How can you be sick? Wasn't it enough for us to lose Emily? To go through that pain? I would give anything, anything, to make you well."
"Mom, you've been amazing." Taylor gently wiped away her mother's tears before drying her own. "Everything is going to be okay." She had said it so many times, but she'd never hoped for it to come true more than she did right at this moment. "And thank you for telling me about my sister."
"I should have talked to you about Emily a long time ago." Her mother was clearly drained from all the emotion. And yet, Taylor couldn't help but think there seemed to be a new strength to her now, perhaps from finally letting the pain of the past go, even if just the slightest bit. "I love you, honey, and no matter what you decide, I'll try to support you. I have to warn you, though, it may not be easy if you make decisions that aren't what I would want you to do. Which is why I reserve the right as your mother to go to the mat with you about pretty much anything."
Despite the tears they'd both just shed, Taylor had to laugh.
"Now," her mother said as she stood abruptly, "since you and Justin already have plenty on your plates, and I know I'll only be in the way if I stay, I'm going to collect Bruce and head back to the airport to get us both on the next flight home. Please, just promise to let me know the test results the moment you get them."
"Of course I will," Taylor said, "but you don't have to go." For all her intent to be strong and grown up, now that Caroline was planning to leave, Taylor suddenly felt like a little girl again. One who wanted to cling to her mom for dear life.
"Don't worry, your father and I are planning to come out for a long visit in the near future. But for now, I can see that you have everything well in hand. And Justin--" He had risen at the same time, and she reached out to clasp his hands in hers. "I may not always have been your biggest fan, but I can see you genuinely care for my daughter. Thank you."
"You're the one I need to thank," he said, his voice slightly gruff. "You raised an incredible woman. You and your husband should be very proud."
"We are." Caroline pulled Taylor into her arms, and as they held each other, Taylor felt closer to her mother than ever before.
Ten minutes later, when her mom and her ex were on their way back to San Francisco, Taylor sank onto the couch. "That was exhausting."
"And awesome." Justin put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her once--softly, sweetly. "You really impressed your mom when you told her it was time to let go."
"I'm afraid I hurt her."
"You didn't. At least, not in the long term. I can't believe that she would have raised a strong, independent woman to be anything but exactly that." His phone dinged in his pocket. "It's time to meet with the donor."
He didn't ask if she was up for it, and she appreciated that he didn't. If he was certain that she was strong enough to deal with what came next, no matter how difficult, then she was going to do her best to believe it too.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Justin didn't try to liven up their drive today the way he had when they'd gone to UC Davis. He was still gunning to be Taylor's donor, but she clearly needed a little time to process. Especially after her mother and ex-boyfriend's unexpected visit this morning.
If he could have rescheduled this meeting, he would have. But speaking with a donor was an important part of the evaluation process, and the transplant center wouldn't let him proceed until he'd talked with at least one. Plus, he really hoped that hearing what the donor had to say would help Taylor wrap her head around him helping her this way.
"Before we go inside," Taylor said after Justin had parked the car, "I just want to make sure that if hearing this woman's story gives you any doubts about donating a kidney to me--for any reason at all--you'll promise to tell me."
It was on the tip of his tongue to say, yet again, that he didn't have any doubts and that nothing could possibly change his mind. But knowing that wouldn't help his cause, he simply said, "I will." And, of course, he had to kiss her. A soft and sweet but also deliciously sexy kiss. He hoped it would help settle her nerves. Or, at the very least, give her something else to focus on.
"You're amazing, Justin." He was glad to see a small smile playing on her lips. "Here I am freaking out about everything--and then, with one kiss, you make me almost forget what I was worried about in the first place."
"Almost?" He brought her mouth back to his so that he could whisper against her lips, "Hopefully, this one will make you completely forget."
God, how he loved the little sounds of pleasure she made. If they were anywhere else, at any other time, he would have driven away to find a place where they could see their passion all the way through. But the dinging from his phone was an insistent reminder that pleasure would have to wait a little while.
Taylor fixed her hair with the help of the mirror on the visor. "What are the odds she was looking out the front window and saw us making out?"
Thankfully, from the amused tone of Taylor's voice, she didn't seem particularly worried about it. "I don't know about her," Justin said, "but I'm thinking that guy over there certainly enjoyed the show." He was grinning as he pointed to a man raking leaves at the far end of the street.
"And to think that my mother wasn't always your biggest fan, when you're always such a good influence on me," she teased as they got out of the car.
Hand in hand, they walked up the stone steps. Taylor rang the doorbell, and seconds later, a petite woman with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes opened the door. "Welcome! I'm Debra, and I'm really glad you both could come meet with me today."
"Thank you for meeting with us, Debra. I'm Justin Morrison, and this is my girlfriend, Taylor Cardenes."
They both shook her hand, and then she led them inside her home, a striking contemporary with a vineyard behind it.
"Your home is beautiful," Taylor said, taking in the floor-to-ceiling windows and gleaming wood floors.
"Thank you. My husband and I just finished remodeling. For most of the past year, we've lived in the barn out back." She pointed to the barn, which had been converted with large windows throughout. "I run my candlemaking business out of it, so it's good to have a little separation between work and play now."
"I'm sure you're busy," Taylor said with a nervous smile, "and we don't want to keep you too long..."
Waving away Taylor's concern, Debra said, "I'm always happy to meet with anyone the Davis transplant center sends my way." She gestured for them to come sit down in a sunroom. "I just made this lemonade from the Meyer lemons in my garden." She poured them each a glass, and Taylor took a big gulp before setting it down.
"How about I tell you my story," Debra said, "and then you can ask whatever questions you like."
"That would be great." Justin held Taylor's hand firmly in his. He could feel her trembling, just enough that only he could tell.
"My friend Maya was like you, Taylor. She was the picture of health--vibrant, pretty, with no outward signs that anything was wrong. We were roommates ten years ago, and sometimes she would stay in on the weekends, saying she'd had a hard week at work and just wanted to chill, but there was never anything that made me suspect she was unwell. Not until I came home early from a business trip and found her on the couch, crying. You have to understand, she was one of the toughest people I'd ever met, so I knew something was wrong. Really wrong. That's when it all came spilling out, that she had PKD and her kidneys were shutting down. She was weeks away from dialysis, and she was scared. Not only about the disease, but also because she didn't feel she had any other options." Debra paused to take a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, even now, when I think back to how sad, how lost she was. I get all choked up."
"Please," Taylor said, "don't apologize for anything."
"We can't tell you how much we appreciate your opening up your home to us and telling your story." Justin squeezed Taylor's hand. "Especially since I know exactly how you felt that day. I only found out about Taylor's diagnosis this week."
"There's nothing like realizing that all that time, someone you love has been getting sicker and sicker, and you didn't even know," Debra agreed. "When I asked Maya how she could have been so ill without telling any of us, or asking for help, she told me she didn't want to ask anyone she knew for a kidney. That it was too much, too big a favor to ask of anyone she loved. We argued about it, of course. I told her I would get tested immediately, even though she told me not to. And when it turned out that I was a match, and I insisted on donating a kidney to her, there was some yelling and crying--but in the end, she realized I was serious, that I wouldn't even freak out about having to write a will before the procedure."