Loving Lies by Linda Kage
Realizing she just said a lot of things without reservation, she paused to gauge his reaction. Still watching her as if fascinated by everything she had just exposed to him, he murmured, “We may have to agree to disagree about your last comment. But aside from that…keep going.”
She exhaled a quick breath. “But…but in a lot of ways Bailey and I are practically the same person. Our taste in things like music and books and movies is identical. We’re both student workers at the library. We completely complement each other in that I like to follow and she likes to lead. I love her open honesty, and she loves that I forgive her for being so blunt with her open honesty. Oh, and we were both raised by widowed fathers and older brothers. And we—”
“Widowed father?” Jonah cut in, his forehead wrinkling with sympathy. “Your mother died?”
“O-Oh.” Tess stumbled over her own tongue. “Yeah. A long time ago when I was five. She had cancer and went slowly. But the entire family was with her, holding her hands as she passed. We all got to say goodbye. When I think back on her, I have nothing but fond memories, like how she always made smiley faces on the beef patties with the ketchup and mustard when she cooked hamburgers. She’d fashion a pickle slice to give it a nose, or sometimes cut the tomato in half to hang floppy ears over the side. I’ve never seen anyone do that to a hamburger since she was alive. More people should do that, you know.”
With a smile, she glanced at Jonah only to realize how personal she’d just gone. “See? There’s goes my stupid gene again.”
His expression clouded with confusion. “What do you mean? You didn’t say anything stupid.”
“Yes, I did. If we technically just now met, then I shouldn’t have told you so much about myself. Talk about TMI.”
He glanced down at his hands that were sitting idly in his lap. After looking thoughtful a moment, he smiled and turned back to her. “Well, my name is Jonah, and I was shot three times in a school massacre. Then I fell into a twelve-day coma, only to wake up with amnesia.” Grinning proudly, he asked, “How’s that for TMI on the first date?”
A small part of her soul melted at his thoughtful consideration. She returned his engaging smile with one of her own. Cheeks scorching hot from pleasure instead of embarrassment, she answered, “Okay. You win.”
He chuckled and held his hand out toward her. She hesitated, not sure what he wanted. But when she slowly reached out and took his fingers, he seemed pleased and interlaced their grip, letting his thumb strum over her knuckles.
Oh, hell, he just wanted to hold her hand for nothing other than the pure pleasure of holding her hand. Should that affect her as intensely as it was affecting her?
“I like your TMI,” he murmured. “Can you give me some more, please?”
Breathless and a little dizzy by the fact that someone—and a superhot male someone at that—actually enjoyed her bumbling, stupid-gene ways, she blew out a strained breath. “Well, there is one thing I’ve always wanted to unload on someone.”
He arched interested eyebrows. “Really? Do tell.”
She nodded. “Yeah. It’s about Bailey, actually. She was riding in the car with her mom when they got into an accident, and I guess she was trapped for a really long time before help finally arrived. I think…I think she was forced to see her mom die an awful, gruesome, painful death. She might’ve even died slowly.” Gulping, she glanced away. When Jonah’s fingers tightened on hers as if offering her support, she sent him a small, appreciative smile.
“The thing is, Bailey was seven when her mom died. And I was five when my mom died. But I have memory upon memory of my mother. Bailey is completely blank when it comes to hers. I think the accident was so traumatic she’s just blocked it out completely. She blocked her mother completely. Her dad didn’t want her to suffer unduly, so he told her her mom died when she was young, like two or three years old. She has no idea she was there when it happened. And I—”
Tess focused on the strong masculine hand holding hers. “It really bothers me that I have to keep that from her. I mean, Bailey is my absolute best friend on earth. We have no secrets from each other. Except this. But her dad doesn’t want her know; he’s too afraid of what it’ll do to her. And with good reason. She was a complete zombie for months after it happened. I was afraid she’d never be the same again. If she knew, she might have a major setback.”
“So, you knew her back then?”
“Oh, we’ve known each other since birth. Our mothers were best friends and got pregnant with us at about the same time. I think Bailey and I have been mandatory companions since the womb. But that’s okay. I love her to death. And she shows it in different ways, but I know I’m one of the most important people in her life, too.”
“I can tell how close you guys are.” Jonah drew her hand to his mouth and lightly kissed the backs of her fingers. “I think you’ve told me more about her than you have about yourself.”
Tess sputtered, realizing she had. “Geez, I’m sorry. I just—” God, she was going to blush the entire night away, wasn’t she? “Sometimes, I feel like we’re an—I don’t know, an extension of each other. No matter how irritated we may get with each other, we always stick together.”
“As all best friends do,” he murmured, a sad far-away look on his face.
“You sound like you know exactly what I’m talking about,” Tess said. “Do you have a friend like that too?”
He blinked and focused on her, his skin suddenly ashen. “I don’t…” Glancing away as if ashamed, he mumbled, “I don’t know.”
“Oh my God.” Tess gasped. Smacking herself in the forehead, she said, “I am so sorry. For a minute, I totally forgot about your amnesia. It really was like we were getting to know each other for the first time.”
His smile was small as he studied her face. “Let me guess. We never opened up like this before the coma, did we?”
Now Tess had to glance away. The lies ate at her stomach like acid. “No,” she said quietly. “We never did get this deep into personal conversation before.” Because they’d never gotten into a conversation at all.
His eyes held hers as if he regretted that, as if he wanted to take their talk even deeper, make it more personal. Then he flushed slightly and gave a small laugh. “There I go again, breaking the rules of our pretend first meeting. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “No. Don’t apologize. You made the rules; you’re allowed to break them if you want to.”
Yet she hoped and prayed he didn’t. She liked how this first-meeting discussion was going. And she especially liked that she didn’t have to lie so much this way.
“No,” he murmured. “I don’t want to break the rules quite yet. I like learning about you.”
Warmth stole through her. “Now I feel guilty about hogging all the conversation and centering it around myself.”
“Don’t feel guilty. I like this.” His words were so soft and sincere; she had no idea how to respond.
So, they just studied each other, a content silence filling the room until he smiled. She couldn’t help it, she smiled back. She wasn’t sure what they were smiling about, but she couldn’t seem to stop. She just felt…happy. And he seemed to share the joy.
She bit her lip, and his grin spread. Dear God, he knew exactly what he was doing to her, and it tickled him. Tess rolled her eyes to let him know he was getting a little too cocky. In return, he gave a low chuckle.
“You are so God damn adorable,” he murmured, lifting her knuckles to his mouth to kiss them a third time.
Absolutely glowing under his compliment, Tess shook her head. “And you are too handsome for your own good.”
Smile spreading, he used his grip on her hand to tug her just a little bit closer. “You keep telling me how good I look.”
Cheeks burning hot, she smirked before bashfully admitting, “Well, yeah. Have you seen yourself lately?”
He looked thoughtful for a second before saying, “Actually, no. I haven’t. I’ve been too afraid to
“Oh.” Right. The amnesia. Why did she keep forgetting about that tonight? “Well, you don’t look bad. I mean, the damage isn’t that bad. There’s a green ring around one eye where you have a fading bruise, and you have a patch of gauze on one side of your head. Then your arm…” She motioned toward his cast. “Well, you can see your arm. But other than that, you look—”
When she didn’t go on, too busy scanning his flawless features, he quietly asked, “How do I look?”
“Well…” She shrugged. “You look perfect. Your hair.” Unable to help herself, she reached out so she could curl a thick brown lock around her fingers. “It’s thick and dark and really, really soft. It’s straight but pliable enough to make it move however I want. And the color is…amazing.”
“What color is it?”
“Brown…but so much more than brown. It’s like…those commercials where they show dark chocolate in a liquid form. Then blend in a couple streaks of caramel, and there you have it.”
“Sounds…delicious.”
Yeah, Tess would definitely agree he had yummy hair. Yummy everything.
“It matches the color of your eyes as well as the beard growing along your jawline.” Her nails briefly tracked his five-o’clock shadow. “You have a very strong, proud jaw. Masculine. And your lips. Wow, you have those full, really soft-looking lips.”
“Damn,” he breathed. “I am gorgeous.”
Tess laughed even as she blushed hard, realizing just how much she was gushing.
His own smile smoothed into a serious expression before he opened his mouth, but a nurse—the same one who’d promised to mend his hand earlier—entered before he could say whatever it was he was going to say.
“We forgot to take our meds, Mr. Abbott,” she started, only to slow to a stop when she saw Tess. Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Visiting hours were over half an hour ago, miss. You’re going to have to leave.”
Jonah’s hand tightened on hers as he scowled at the nurse. But Tess gasped as she glanced at the clock. “Oh my God. I hadn’t realized it had gotten so late.” She stepped aside to let the nurse in next to him and hand him a cup full of pills. “You never did come back to see about his bloody hand and torn-out IV, either.”
The nurse glanced at the dried blood on Jonah’s skin and winced. “That’s right.” Instead of apologizing, she nodded. “I still have a little bit of time before my shift ends. Let me just…I’ll be back with the supplies I need.” She hurried from the room again, Tess frowning after her.
“Are you always treated like this?” she demanded, whirling to Jonah.
He shrugged. “I’m not exactly a model patient, so it’s not like I expect five-star service.”
“But—”
“It’s okay,” he said, reaching for her hand again. “As you can see, I did just fine without her for a couple hours.”
And it really had been a couple hours. Knowing she needed to get Bailey’s car back to campus, Tess took his fingers but only to squeeze them in farewell. “I better get going.”
He nodded, his expression taking on sorrow. Then he forced a small smile. “Same time tomorrow?”
Hearing him say aloud that he wanted to see her again filled her chest with a crazy, amazing sensation. Blushing madly, she nodded. “You bet.”
Like she was going to turn down a chance to see him again.
The sadness fled as his brown eyes twinkled with hope. Crooking the finger on his free hand, he beckoned her close as if he wanted to tell her a secret.
With a curious, confused grin, she leaned in, cocking her ear toward his mouth.
“Closer,” he whispered.
Her stomach swirled with excitement at the word. Really intrigued now, she lowered down to almost within an inch of his lips. “Yes?” Breathless and giddily light-headed, she waited for him to say something.
Instead of talking into her ear, though, he touched her chin and tilted her face around toward his.
“This might be presumptuous for our first date, but…” He set is mouth against hers.
Tess’s mind blanked out as her eyes flared wide. Then his lips brushed by hers again, lingering this time, and her senses took over. She held her breath, wanting it to last.
It did. His palm stroked her jaw and glided around her neck to cup the back of her head. Then his mouth opened under hers, and his tongue took over. Swept along by the overwhelming pull of his coaxing touch, she kissed him back, closing her eyes and meaning it from the bottom of her soul.
He didn’t pull away at once but bit by bit, easing his touch, slowing the drag of his lips, nuzzling his nose to hers until there was just enough space between them again for him to say, “I had an amazing night tonight.”
“I…” Her mind still hadn’t returned from its trip into euphoria. After drawing in a deep breath, she slurred, “I did too.”
He smiled, his brown eyes warm with tenderness and affection. “So…same time and place tomorrow?” he repeated with enough hope in his voice that she nodded without a thought to how much trouble she was getting herself into.
When his nurse re-entered the room, toting a cart full of supplies to patch Jonah’s hand, Tess jumped back guiltily.
The nurse arched a censorious eyebrow. “Still here?”
Tess gulped. “I was just leaving.” She darted a farewell glance at Jonah. When his eyes glittered with something warm and affectionate, she waved and turned away, hurrying for the exit. She tried to hurry away from the all the feelings he was stirring inside her, but it didn’t matter how fast she moved, they followed her wherever she went, growing at a crazy speed.
Chapter Seven
TESS HAD NO IDEA why she tiptoed when she entered her dark dorm room. She already knew Bailey was the lightest sleeper known to mankind. As soon as the hallway light flooded into the chamber when Tess opened the door and slipped inside, her roommate stirred in her bed across the room.
The light flickered on.
“You had my car all day.”
Tess slumped her shoulders, shut the door, and leaned against it, feeling drained. “I know. I’m sorry.” Biting her lip, she offered Bailey an apologetic wince before she fished into her huge purse to pull out Bailey’s car keys and toss them across the room. “But you’ve never minded before.”
Bailey caught the keys with both hands and cradled them against her chest. Her eyes narrowed as her forehead wrinkled. “Because I’ve always known what you were doing before. Now…now you’re like hiding things from me. And what is up with that glow on your face? Did you just win the lottery or something? Oh my God, are you drunk?”
“No! I’m not drunk. I—” Tess’s face burned hot as she lowered her gaze to the carpet. “I was at the hospital,” she mumbled into her chest.
She pushed away from the door and busied herself by setting her purse on her desk and shrugging off her coat.
“You…” Bailey groaned and tossed her keys to the floor beside her bed. “Please don’t tell me you’re still obsessed with that amnesia guy. Tessie…”
Hearing an approaching lecture in Bailey’s voice, Tess hurried to add, “And before that, I drove to Bristol to find his parents.”
“What! In my car?”
Tess pulled her shirt off, preparing herself for bed. “I filled it back up with gas.”
“That’s not the point.” Slapping her hand to her forehead, Bailey let out a miserable groan. “The point is that you’re worse off than I thought. Look, I know you want to make the world a better place, but some people’s messed-up lives are better off—”
“And he was Einstein’s roommate,” Tess added with a whisper and cautious glance toward their bathroom door as if Paige might be listening at the lock and could hear everything.
Bailey’s mouth snapped shut. Then she blinked. “What?”
After wiggling out of her pants, Tess slipped on a large old comfortable shirt she’d stolen from one of her brothers and crawled into her bed
“I found out last night when I went to his room. Some guy from across the hall told me who had lived there. There was yellow police tape stretched across the door and everything.” She shivered and hugged herself, burrowing deeper under the protection of her blankets. “It was really creepy.”
“Oh man.” Bailey breathed and then wrinkled up her face and scowled at Tess. “I knew you were keeping something from me when you came back last night, all quiet and thoughtful. Why didn’t you tell me then?”
Tess shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t even know what it means.”
“Well, I’d say it means your fake boyfriend must’ve been a pretty crappy roomie to get himself shot up three freaking times by his own roommate.”
Another quiver of dread ran up the back of her spine as Tess shuddered again. “Can you just imagine? Realizing the very person who’s been sleeping in the same room with you for an entire semester is crazy enough to go on a shooting spree.” She paused to give Bailey the stink eye. “Wait. You haven’t been feeling any overwhelming urges to—”
“Whatever.” Bailey threw a pillow at her. “You’ve known me way too long to even ask that.”
Tess laughed and tossed the pillow back, only to turn serious again. “There was no way I could tell Jonah about it. He was already on the edge of having an emotional meltdown when I showed up tonight. I just don’t think he’s ready to hear anything like that.” Casting another cautious glance toward the door that led through the bathroom and into Paige’s room, Tess lowered her voice. “The real question is do we tell Paige?”
“Are you insane?” Bailey squawked. “She goes deathly pale whenever I even make a reference to the shooting. Mentioning little psycho boy’s name will probably send her over the edge.” Giving her own little shake of horror, Bailey rubbed her arms. “No, there’s no reason to tell her your fake-boyfriend was Creepy’s roommate.” Narrowing her eyes, she pointed an accusing finger at Tess, “Which reminds me, you just totally changed the subject and diverted me from my lecture. Meaning you didn’t tell Jonah the truth tonight. Did you?”