More Than This by Jay McLean
When I turn she’s right in front of me, my eyes level with her tits, her nipples poking out through her bikini top.
Fuck.
She sits on my lap and turns us in the chair so were facing my desk again. She’s wearing virtually nothing and I’m in workout shorts, the material so thin I’m sure we can feel each other.
She makes a strangled moan as she situates herself to get more comfortable. On. My. Dick.
I rest my chin on her shoulder and start pressing buttons on my macbook to bring up the photos.
Her hair smells like roses, it always smells like roses. I run my nose across her jaw, breathing her in.
She sighs and moves on me, moaning so quietly you’d miss it if it wasn’t the only sound in the room.
I have to clear my throat a few times before words even begin to come out.
“So, this is the house from the outside…” I start, trying so hard to keep my mind from going where it’s going.
“Uhuh,” she says, but her eyes are closed and she’s breathing heavily.
My mouth goes dry.
I move to the next picture.
“And this is the kitchen…”
“mmhmm” her eyes are still closed, her lips parted, almost panting. She’s moving on me, so slowly.
I move to the next one.
“And this is-"
My words get cut off when she grabs my hand and lowers it to her stomach, lower and lower until they’re down her bikini bottoms and I’m touching her.
“Fuck,” I grunt out into her shoulder, as she starts riding my fingers. My dick is so fricken hard I could swing it and hit a home run.
She starts moaning and moving and I can feel her wetness leaking on knuckles. I start to kiss her neck, but she abruptly stands up.
I look at her confused.
Then she turns and sits back down, straddling me, on my chair. She’s kissing my neck and trying to rip my shirt off at the same time, grinding on me, and I’m so fucking close I can’t handle it. I take my cap of and she takes it from my hands. I remove my shirt and she puts my cap back on, backwards, “Keep this on,” she says huskily.
Shit.
We stare at each other for a minute before she starts running her hands over my chest, taking me in, her delicate hands roaming. My hands move from her waist, higher, until my thumbs are at the bottom of her breasts. I move them higher to rub her nipples through the thin material of her bikini.
She moans and her head falls backwards, giving me perfect access to her neck. I take it with my mouth and start kissing, licking, sucking… moving lower and lower until her nipple is in my mouth and she’s grinding on me, moaning with every movement. My hands move to go under the front of her bikini but she grabs it and opens her eyes. My mind’s so buzzed with lust I have no idea what’s going on. She’s still holding my hand when she whispers, “Lock your door, Jake.”
So I do.
I roll us in the chair, in the same position, over to my door, and I lock it.
The next second, she’s on her knees in front of me, pulling my dick out of my shorts.
“Fuck, Kayla.” I don’t know if the words are actually said, but I know I sure as hell think it.
Just before her head dips down I stop her.
“Are you doing this because I asked you to move in with me, like a tha-"
She laughs once. “No, Jake, I’m doing this because I want to. Because I’ve wanted to for so long now. Because you fucking turn me so much and being around you all the time is driving me fucking crazy. And because I so much more than a lot like you.”
Then her mouth is on me and around me and there are fireworks in the room and my heart’s stopped beating and my toes curl and my fingers are in her hair and she’s moaning and I’m groaning and then I’m two seconds away from exploding and I warn her but she won’t. fucking. stop. and the world flashes white and somewhere in the distance violins play and angels weep, and she’s taking it all, until it’s all over and I finally open my eyes to see her Bambi eyes watching me, licking her lips, and it’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire goddamn life. My mouth is so dry I couldn’t speak if I wanted to. Then she’s standing up and walking to my window and before I realize what’s happening she’s halfway out.
“Wait!” I yell, like I’ve just learnt to speak for the first time.
“Whats up?” She smiles innocently back at me.
“You can’t just leave,” I say, putting myself back in my shorts and walking over to her. “I have to reciprocate.”
“Oh you will…” she says winking at me, “but not today.”
And then she’s out the window, jumping the roof space and climbing into hers.
What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened.
*Mikayla*
Once I’m in my room, I climb into bed, get under the covers, and double click my mouse, the whole time thinking of Jake's face as he let himself go.
I love him.
Like, Love love him.
Chapter 32
*Jake*
The day after Kayla literally, and legitimately, blew my mind, we went to the house. She fell in love with it instantly. Almost as quickly as I fell in love with her.
She had the idea of using most of the furniture from her family home that she’s got in storage. Honestly, I couldn’t care less what was in there.
As long as she was.
I tried numerous times while we there to reciprocate but she wouldn’t let me, I was however, able to cop a feel every now and then.
*Mikayla*
Jake Andrews is definitely swoon worthy. I should write a book about him.
It’s two weeks until the college year starts and there’s a bonfire party at a huge field tonight.
It’s the last blowout before we all leave for college, around 5 different schools will be there.
I was a little wary when we first discussed it, because it more than likely means that James and maybe Megan, who I still have not heard from, will be there. I was assured by Jake and his friends that it won’t be a problem and if it is, they’ll go Chuck Norris on his ass.
So that’s where I find myself, sitting in a huge field around a bonfire. Whoever set this is up genius. There is a huge dance/grope/whatever floor at one end, A DJ keeps that area entertained.
Trucks and cars are parked and scattered everywhere, a lot of those have bonfires and their own music going, our group is one of those.
All of Jake's friends, which he assures me I should start calling our friends, are here, along with some other guys. That creeper from the batting cages is here too, still creepy, and still eye licking me. Derek, his name is. Jake’s noticed, but hasn’t done anything about it. Yet.
“Hey, Micky!” Logan yells from the bed of Dylan's truck. “I got your jam for you.” There’s an iPod dock in the bed of the truck and he’s been playing with it most of the night, our own personal DJ.
Obviously, ‘Hey Mickey’ comes blasting through the speakers. Heidi squeals and jumps off of Dylan's lap, grabbing me and Lucy to dance with her in the middle of our group.
We dance like idiots, because, let’s be honest, we’re all about two beers away from being completely wasted, and that’s fine. Most of our dance moves consist of that monkey dance that was invented in like… 1956. Good times.
As the song begins to wind down, Heidi stops dancing and nudges me, cocking her head to the direction of the dance floor.
I look up and see James walking towards me, head down, hands in pockets. By the time he reaches me, the music has stopped and Jake is sitting up in his chair, waiting to make a move.
“Hey, Micky,” he says shyly, looking down at the floor. I realize, looking at him, like this, why I liked him in the first place. When I met him, he was the shy new kid, with that Texan accent and that southern hospitality.
“Hi, James. How are you?” A small smile appears on my face.
I feel resolved. Like I’ve accepted this for what it is. He hurt me, but he can’t
He laughs once. “I’ve been better.” He looks up at me, and there’s so much sadness and regret in his eyes that for a second, I let my heart break for him, but only for a second.
“Listen…” he starts, looking around him at my friends watching his every move. “Is it all right if we talk somewhere?” I see Jake move from the corner of my eye. “I just think that maybe we should talk, say goodbye or something. Just… closure? I guess.” He looks back down to the ground.
I turn to look at Jake, asking for permission. I know I don’t need his permission, but I still want it. Out of respect for him, and for us, or what we might be.
He stares back for a few seconds before nodding his head almost imperceptibly.
“Okay,” I say softly.
James looks up at me, then at Jake. “Thanks, man. I’ll have her back in a minute. Just one dance,” he says to Jake.
He walks ahead of me towards the dance floor. I turn back once to look at Jake and he’s glaring at us, jaw clenched, eyes narrowed.
I wait for James while he walks up to the DJ and talks in his ear. When he comes back, he stands in front of me, his hands rest lightly on my hips. I look back to Jake but he’s no longer watching us.
I rest my hands on his upper arms, making it clear this is in no way intimate.
The DJ changes songs.
“Bruno Mars?” I ask him.
“It’s kind of been my anthem for the last couple months,” he says, sighing a little.
It’s ‘When I was your man’.
It makes sense.
“How’s Megan?” I ask.
He huffs out a breath.
“I’m not sure, you’re better of asking her new boyfriend, but then you’d have to travel to L.A to do that.”
I look at him, bug eyed, waiting for an explanation.
“Yeah, she met up with whoever was going to be her roommate at UNC and she bought her brother with her. I guess they hit it off, because two days later she packed up her life and followed him,” he laughs a sad laugh. “I didn’t even know until two days after she left.”
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” I say, not with malice, but more with understanding.
“Not really,” he surprises me. “I was never in love with Megan.”
Its quiet for the longest time as the song plays. His anthem.
“I really am sorry, Micky, for what it’s worth. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You were my life.”
I start to interrupt but he stops me.
“No, I mean, I know I didn’t show that to you, and I’ll forever hate myself for that. But you need to know, I loved you so fucking much. I still love you. Whenever I look at my future, it was always you,” he pauses and takes a few breaths.
I’m crying silent tears. Because I know. I know what he’s talking about, I had felt it too.
“When I thought about my life…” he continues, “You were the one walking down the aisle towards me, raising our kids. I always smiled to myself when I thought about it, that it was you that was going to be there for me every night, when I got home from work, you in your study, writing your books. A few kids, a decent house. It was perfect in my mind. You were perfect. You are perfect and I threw it all away, because I’m such a fucking asshole, and I can’t take it back.” He starts sobbing now. His head on my shoulder. “I can’t fucking take it back, and I can’t have you back, and all of this… this life I have, none of this shit is worth it, not without you. And I fucked it all up… ” he trails off.
I pull his body off me.
“I should get back, they’re probably wondering where I am.”
He nods his head once, wiping his tears away with the back of his hands.
“I’ll walk you back.”
***
When we get back to our bonfire, I sit down in my chair, a little emotionally exhausted from the whole thing. Logan takes a seat next to me. James eyes him for a second, nods his head towards Logan, “Matthews,” he greets.
“Asshole,” Logan replies.
Logan turns to face me, “I got a song for you, Micky.” He presses the remote for the speaker dock and ‘Everybody Knows’ by Dustin Tavella starts playing. I chuckle to myself, because the chorus is about your boyfriend cheating and being a douchebag.
Heidi and Lucy get up to dance and James just shakes his head.
“You’re kind of a dick, Matthews,” he grunts at Logan.
Logan sits back in his chair, adjusts his legs by putting one foot on the knee of the other, links his fingers behind his head, and, like a boss, says, “And. Not. A. Single. Fuck. Was. Given.” Causing bursts of laughter throughout. I shouldn’t laugh but it is funny.
***
After a few minutes I realize Jake isn’t here. I scan the crowd for him and see him, talking to a girl, a ridiculously beautiful girl.
My jealousy kicks in and I try not to stare but I can’t help it.
They’re standing so close to each other, without actually touching.
Slowly, he raises his hand to put a stray piece of hair behind her ear, she grabs his hand and squeezes it for a second, smiling up at him.
When she lets go of it, he puts it in his pocket.
Probably to stop himself from ripping off her clothes and having his way with her.
He sure as shit isn’t having it with me.
I close my eyes and inhale deeply. The buzz from the alcohol slowly making it’s way to my brain.
“Hey, Marisa’s here!” Creeper Derek announces. Everyone’s head whips to Jake and Marisa.
Lucy and Heidi look back to me and I just shrug. Because really? What the fuck can I do?
“Fuck, she looks more hotter now than ever,” Derek says. “If that’s even fucking possible.”
The ache in my heart tightens just a little bit.
“Who’s Marisa?” I have to know.
“His girlfriend.” Derek answers.
“I wouldn’t say she’s his girlfriend. Or was…” Cam looks at me curiously.
“Fuck, they were just starting to get their shit together. What the fuck happened?” Derek muses to himself. “They were supposed to go to prom together right? I remember the whole school talking about it for like, weeks beforehand.”
Heidi clears her throat, “She had to go to a modeling thing in New York last minute.” She eyes me with a sorry look on her face.
“That’s right!” Derek, asshole. “Shit, the star rookie and the supermodel. It’s like a match made in heaven.”
And at that, I stand up and walk away, from that asshole Derek, from Jake's friends, from Jake, and this whole fucking night.
Chapter 33
*Mikayla*
I’m sitting on a log in the woods sobbing like a 12 year old girl because my stupid crush likes the hot chick.
What did I expect?
Jake Andrews is a whole other level, he gets supermodels.
“Hey,” a timid voice greets.
Heidi and Lucy walk towards me.
“So that’s Jake's girlfriend, huh? Ex? Or whatever?”
Heidi nods.
“Jesus, she’s not attractive at all. He could do so much better.” I scoff out, my voice laced with sarcasm.
They giggle a little.
“At least tell me she’s stupid, or a horribly mean person, or she used to be fat or something, anything,” I beg.
Lucy spits out, “I wish I could, Micky, but that fucking bitch has it all, ten out of ten every fucking thing. She’s super smart. Like, fucking Harvard smart. She’s nice to fucking everybody. She’s always looked like the cover of a fucking magazine and I hate it so much and if I could get away with it I’d fucking cut a bitch for you.”
My eyes widen and a small laugh escapes.
Heidi shakes her head. “She’s a mean drunk.”
“And a profane one, too,” I add.
Quiet fills the air for a few minutes.
“Look,” Heidi says. “Lucy is right, she’s actually a really nice girl. But he doesn’t like her, not in that way, not the way he likes you.”
I think for a minute.
He has never mentioned her. Not even once.
But if she wasn’t out of town that night, and she was his date to prom, then where the fuck would that leave me?
“I’m fine, guys. You should get back to the party. I just need a few minutes to clear my head.”
“You sure bitch? It’s the last time before we’re all thrown out in the real world. Don’t let fucking stupid shit get you down… fucking…” I love drunk Lucy.
I laugh and nod, and they leave.
***
Five minutes later I walk back to the clearing towards our bonfire. Jake is back in his seat and Marisa is there with him. Not with him, but she’s sitting in the circle, while Derek drools over her.
Great.
I get back to the bonfire and sit in the bed of the truck. I don’t take my spot next to Jake, or his lap, it just doesn’t feel right.
Logan hands me a beer and I take it.
I see jake eyeing me, but I don’t care.
He never mentioned her, not once in the last 3 months.
All I am to him is some stupid girl he took pity on and now can’t get rid off.
And he has supermodel ex girlfriends.
And I need more beer.