More William by Richmal Crompton
CHAPTER II
RICE-MOULD
"Rice-mould," said the little girl next door bitterly. "Rice-mould!Rice-mould! every single day. I _hate_ it, don't you?"
She turned gloomy blue eyes upon William, who was perched perilouslyon the ivy-covered wall. William considered thoughtfully.
"Dunno," he said. "I just eat it; I never thought about it."
"It's _hateful_, just _hateful_. Ugh! I've had it at dinner and I'llhave it at supper--bet you anything. I say, you are going to have aparty to-night, aren't you?"
William nodded carelessly.
"Are you going to be there?"
"Me!" ejaculated William in a tone of amused surprise. "I should thinkso! You don't think they could have it without _me_, do you? Huh! Notmuch!"
She gazed at him enviously.
"You _are_ lucky! I expect you'll have a lovely supper--not ricemould," bitterly.
"Rather!" said William with an air of superiority.
"What are you going to have to eat at your party?"
"Oh--everything," said William vaguely.
"Cream blanc-mange?"
"Heaps of it--_buckets_ of it."
The little girl next door clasped her hands.
"Oh, just think of it! Your eating cream blanc-mange and meeating--_rice-mould_!" (It is impossible to convey in print theintense scorn and hatred which the little girl next door couldcompress into the two syllables.)
Here an idea struck William.
"What time do you have supper?"
"Seven."
"Well, now," magnanimously, "if you'll be in your summer-house athalf-past, I'll bring you some cream blanc-mange. Truly I will!"
The little girl's face beamed with pleasure.
"Will you? Will you _really_? You won't forget?"
"Not me! I'll be there. I'll slip away from our show on the quiet withit."
"Oh, how _lovely_! I'll be thinking of it every minute. Don't forget.Good-bye!"
She blew him a kiss and flitted daintily into the house.
William blushed furiously at the blown kiss and descended from hisprecarious perch.
He went to the library where his grown-up sister Ethel and his elderbrother Robert were standing on ladders at opposite ends of the room,engaged in hanging up festoons of ivy and holly across the wall.There was to be dancing in the library after supper. William's motherwatched them from a safe position on the floor.
"IF YOU'LL BE IN YOUR SUMMER-HOUSE AT HALF-PAST, I'LLBRING YOU SOME CREAM BLANC-MANGE. TRULY I WILL!" SAID WILLIAM.]
"Look here, mother," began William. "Am I or am I not coming to theparty to-night?"
William's mother sighed.
"For goodness' sake, William, don't open that discussion again. Forthe tenth time to-day, you are _not_!"
"But _why_ not?" he persisted. "I only want to know why not. That'sall I want to know. It looks a bit funny, doesn't it, to give a partyand leave out your only son, at least,"--with a glance at Robert, and aslight concession to accuracy--"to leave out one of your only twosons? It looks a bit queer, surely. That's all I'm thinking of--how itwill look."
"A bit higher your end," said Ethel.
"Yes, that's better," said William's mother.
"It's a _young_ folks' party," went on William, warming to hissubject. "I heard you tell Aunt Jane it was a _young_ folks' party.Well, I'm young, aren't I? I'm eleven. Do you want me any younger? Youaren't ashamed of folks seeing me, are you! I'm not deformed oranything."
"That's right! Put the nail in there, Ethel."
"Just a bit higher. That's right!"
"P'raps you're afraid of what I'll _eat_," went on William bitterly."Well, everyone eats, don't they? They've got to--to live. And you'vegot things for us--them--to eat to-night. You don't grudge me just abit of supper, do you? You'd think it was less trouble for me to havemy bit of supper with you all, than in a separate room. That's all I'mthinking of--the trouble----"
William's sister turned round on her ladder and faced the room.
"Can't _anyone_," she said desperately, "stop that child talking?"
William's brother began to descend his ladder. "I think I can," hesaid grimly.
But William had thrown dignity to the winds, and fled.
He went down the hall to the kitchen, where cook hastily interposedherself between him and the table that was laden with cakes andjellies and other delicacies.
"Now, Master William," she said sharply, "you clear out of here!"
"I don't want any of your things, cook," said William, magnificentlybut untruthfully. "I only came to see how you were getting on. That'sall I came for."
"We're getting on very well indeed, thank you, Master William," shesaid with sarcastic politeness, "but nothing for you till to-morrow,when we can see how much they've left."
She returned to her task of cutting sandwiches. William, from arespectful distance, surveyed the table with its enticing burden.
"Huh!" he ejaculated bitterly, "think of them sitting and stuffing,and stuffing, and stuffing away at _our_ food all night! I don'tsuppose they'll leave much--not if I know the set that lives roundhere!"
"Don't judge them all by yourself, Master William," said cookunkindly, keeping a watchful eye upon him. "Here, Emma, put thatrice-mould away in the pantry. It's for to-morrow's lunch."
Rice-mould! That reminded him.
"Cook," he said ingratiatingly, "are you going to make creamblanc-mange?"
"I am _not_, Master William," she said firmly.
"Well," he said, with a short laugh, "it'll be a queer party withoutcream blanc-mange! I've never heard of a party without creamblanc-mange! They'll think it's a bit funny. No one ever gives a partyround here without cream blanc-mange!"
"Don't they indeed, Master William," said cook, with ironic interest.
"No. You'll be making one, p'raps, later on--just a little one, won'tyou?"
"And why should I?"
"Well, I'd like to think they had a cream blanc-mange. I think they'denjoy it. That's all I'm thinking of."
"Oh, is it? Well, it's your ma that tells me what to make and pays mefor it, not you."
This was a novel idea to William.
He thought deeply.
"Look here!" he said at last, "if I gave you,"--he paused for effect,then brought out the startling offer--"sixpence, would you make acream blanc-mange?"
"I'd want to see your sixpence first," said cook, with a wink at Emma.
William retired upstairs to his bedroom and counted out hismoney--twopence was all he possessed. He had expended the enormous sumof a shilling the day before on a grass snake. It had died in thenight. He _must_ get a cream blanc-mange somehow. His reputation foromnipotence in the eyes of the little girl next door--a reputationvery dear to him--depended on it. And if cook would do it for sixpence,he must find sixpence. By fair means or foul it must be done. He'd triedfair means, and there only remained foul. He went softly downstairs tothe dining-room, where, upon the mantel-piece, reposed the missionary-box.He'd tell someone next day, or put it back, or something. Anyway, peopledid worse things than that in the pictures. With a knife from the tablehe extracted the contents--three-halfpence! He glared at it balefully.
"Three-halfpence!" he said aloud in righteous indignation. "Thissupposed to be a Christian house, and three-halfpence is all they cangive to the poor heathen. They can spend pounds and pounds on,"--heglanced round the room and saw a pyramid of pears on thesideboard--"tons of pears an'--an' green stuff to put on the walls,and they give three-halfpence to the poor heathen! Huh!"
He opened the door and heard his sister's voice from the library."He's probably in mischief somewhere. He'll be a perfect nuisance allthe evening. Mother, couldn't you make him go to bed an hour earlier?"
William had no doubt as to the subject of the conversation. _Make himgo to bed early!_ He'd like to see them! He'd just like to see them!And he'd show them, anyway. Yes, he would show them. Exactly what hewould show them and how he would show them, he was no
He looked at it longingly. They'd probably counted them and knew justhow many there ought to be. Mean sort of thing they would do. Andthey'd be in counting them every other minute just to see if he'dtaken one. Well, he was going to score off somebody, somehow. Make himgo to bed early indeed! He stood with knit brows, deep in thought,then his face cleared and he smiled. He'd got it! For the next fiveminutes he munched the delicious pears, but, at the end, the piled-uppyramid was apparently exactly as he found it, not a pear gone,only--on the inner side of each pear, the side that didn't show, was ahuge semicircular bite. William wiped his mouth with his coat sleeve.They were jolly good pears. And a blissful vision came to him of thefaces of the guests as they took the pears, of the faces of hisfather and mother and Robert and Ethel. Oh, crumbs! He chuckled tohimself as he went down to the kitchen again.
"I say, cook, could you make a small one--quite a small one--forthreepence-halfpenny?"
Cook laughed.
"I was only pulling your leg, Master William. I've got one made andlocked up in the larder."
"That's all right," said William. "I--wanted them to have a creamblanc-mange, that's all."
"Oh, _they'll_ have it all right; they won't leave much for you. Ionly made _one_!"
"Did you say locked in the larder?" said William carelessly. "It mustbe a bother for you to _lock_ the larder door each time you go in?"
"Oh, no trouble, Master William, thank you," said cook sarcastically;"there's more than the cream blanc-mange there; there's pasties andcakes and other things. I'm thinking of the last party your ma gave!"
William had the grace to blush. On that occasion William and a friendhad spent the hour before supper in the larder, and supper had to bepostponed while fresh provisions were beaten up from any and everyquarter. William had passed a troubled night and spent the next day inbed.
"Oh, _then_! That was a long time ago. I was only a kid then."
"Umph!" grunted cook. Then, relenting, "Well, if there's any creamblanc-mange left I'll bring it up to you in bed. Now that's a promise.Here, Emma, put these sandwiches in the larder. Here's the key! Nowmind you _lock it_ after you!"
"Cook! Just come here for a minute."
It was the voice of William's mother from the library. William's heartrose. With cook away from the scene of action great things mighthappen. Emma took the dish of sandwiches, unlocked the pantry door,and entered. There was a crash of crockery from the back kitchen. Emmafled out, leaving the door unlocked. After she had picked up severalbroken plates, which had unaccountably slipped from the shelves, shereturned and locked the pantry door.
William, in the darkness within, heaved a sigh of relief. He was in,anyway; how he was going to get out he wasn't quite sure. He stood fora few minutes in rapt admiration of his own cleverness. He'd scoredoff cook! Crumbs! He'd scored off cook! So far, at any rate. The firstthing to do was to find the cream blanc-mange. He found it at last andsat down with it on the bread-pan to consider his next step.
Suddenly he became aware of two green eyes staring at him in thedarkness. The cat was in too! Crumbs! The cat was in too! The cat,recognising its inveterate enemy, set up a vindictive wail. Williamgrew cold with fright. The rotten old cat was going to give the showaway!
"Here, Pussy! Good ole Pussy!" he whispered hoarsely. "Nice ole Pussy!Good ole Pussy!"
The cat gazed at him in surprise. This form of address from Williamwas unusual.
"Good ole Pussy!" went on William feverishly. "Shut up, then. Here'ssome nice blanc-mange. Just have a bit. Go on, have a bit and shutup."
He put the dish down on the larder floor before the cat, and the cat,after a few preliminary licks, decided that it was good. William satwatching for a bit. Then he came to the conclusion that it was no usewasting time, and began to sample the plates around him. He ate awhole jelly, and then took four sandwiches off each plate, and fourcakes and pasties off each plate. He had learnt wisdom since the lastparty. Meanwhile, the cat licked away at the cream blanc-mange withevery evidence of satisfaction. It even began to purr, and as itssatisfaction increased so did the purr. It possessed a peculiarpenetrating purr.
"Cook!" called out Emma from the kitchen.
Cook came out of the library where she was assisting with the festoonhanging. "What's the matter?"
"There's a funny buzzing noise in the larder."
"Well, go in and see what it is. It's probably a wasp, that's all."
Emma approached with the key, and William, clasping the blanc-mange tohis bosom, withdrew behind the door, slipping off his shoes inreadiness for action.
"Poor Puss!" said Emma, opening the door and meeting the cat's green,unabashed gaze. "Did it get shut up in the nasty dark larder, then?Who did it, then?"
She was bending down with her back to William, stroking the cat in thedoorway. William seized his chance. He dashed past her and up thestairs in stockinged feet like a flash of lightning. But Emma, leaningover the cat, had espied a dark flying figure out of the corner of hereye. She set up a scream. Out of the library came William's mother,William's sister, William's brother, and cook.
"A burglar in the larder!" gasped Emma. "I seed 'im, I did! Out of thecorner of my eye, like, and when I looked up 'e wasn't there no more.Flittin' up the 'all like a shadder, 'e was. Oh, lor! It's fairlyturned me inside! Oh, lor!"
"What rubbish!" said William's mother. "Emma, you must controlyourself!"
"I went into the larder myself 'm," said cook indignantly, "justbefore I came in to 'elp with the greenery ornaments, and it washempty as--hair. It's all that silly Emma! Always 'avin' the jumps,she is----"
"Where's William?" said William's mother with sudden suspicion."William!"
William came out of his bedroom and looked over the balusters.
"Yes, mother," he said, with that wondering innocence of voice andlook which he had brought to a fine art, and which proved one of hisgreatest assets in times of stress and strain.
"What are you doing?"
"Jus' readin' quietly in my room, mother."
"Oh, for heaven's sake don't disturb him, then," said William'ssister.
"It's those silly books you read, Emma. You're always imaginingthings. If you'd read the ones I recommend, instead of the foolishones you will get hold of----"
William's mother was safely mounted on one of her favouritehobby-horses. William withdrew to his room and carefully concealed thecream blanc-mange beneath his bed. He then waited till he heard theguests arrive and exchange greetings in the hall. William, listeningwith his door open, carefully committed to memory the voice and mannerof his sister's greeting to her friends. That would come in usefullater on, probably. No weapon of offence against the world in generaland his own family in particular, was to be despised. He held arehearsal in his room when the guests were all safely assembled in thedrawing-room.
"Oh, _how_ are you, Mrs. Green?" he said in a high falsetto, meant torepresent the feminine voice. "And how's the _darling_ baby? _Such_ aduck! I'm dying to see him again! Oh, Delia, darling! There you are!_So_ glad you could come! What a perfect darling of a dress, my dear.I know whose heart you'll break in that! Oh, Mr. Thompson!"--hereWilliam languished, bridled and ogled in a fashion seen nowhere onearth except in his imitations of his sister when engaged inconversation with one of the male sex. If reproduced at the rightmoment, it was guaranteed to drive her to frenzy, "I'm _so_ glad tosee you. Yes, of course I really am! I wouldn't say it if I wasn't!"
The drawing-room door opened and a chatter of conversation and arustling of dresses arose from the hall. Oh, crumbs! They were goingin to supper. Yes, the dining-room door closed; the coast was clear.William took out the rather battered-looking delicacy from under thebed and considered it thoughtfully. The dish was big and awkwardlyshaped. He must find something that would go under his coat betterthan that. He couldn't march through the hall and out of the fro
William's heart sank. He had forgotten the fact that his fathergenerally returned from his office about this time.
William's father came into the hall and glanced at his youngestoffspring suspiciously.
"Hello!" he said, "where are you going?"
William cleared his throat nervously.
"Me?" he questioned lightly. "Oh, I was jus'--jus' goin' a little walkup the road before I went to bed. That's all I was goin' to do,father."
Flop! A large segment of the cream blanc-mange had disintegrateditself from the fast-melting mass, and, evading William's encirclingarm, had fallen on to the floor at his feet. With praiseworthypresence of mind William promptly stepped on to it and covered it withhis feet. William's father turned round quickly from the stand wherehe was replacing his walking stick.
"What was that?"
William looked round the hall absently. "What, father?"
William's father now fastened his eyes upon William's person.
"What have you got under your coat?"
"Where?" said William with apparent surprise.
Then, looking down at the damp excrescence of his coat, as if henoticed it for the first time, "Oh, that!" with a mirthless smile. "Doyou mean _that_? Oh, that's jus'--jus' somethin' I'm takin' out withme, that's all."
Again William's father grunted.
"Well," he said, "if you're going for this walk up the road why onearth don't you go, instead of standing as if you'd lost the use ofyour feet?"
William's father was hanging up his overcoat with his back to William,and the front door was open. William wanted no second bidding. Hedarted out of the door and down the drive, but he was just in time tohear the thud of a falling body, and to hear a muttered curse as theHead of the House entered the dining-room feet first on a long slideof some white, glutinous substance.
"Oh, crumbs!" gasped William as he ran.
The little girl next door was sitting in the summer-house, armed witha spoon, when William arrived. His precious burden had now saturatedhis shirt and was striking cold and damp on his chest. He drew it fromhis coat and displayed it proudly. It had certainly lost its pristine,white, rounded appearance. The marks of the cat's licks were veryevident; grime from William's coat adhered to its surface; it wobbledlimply over the soap dish, but the little girl's eyes sparkled as shesaw it.
"Oh, William, I never thought you really would! Oh, you are wonderful!And I _had_ it!"
"What?"
"Rice-mould for supper, but I didn't mind, because I thought--I hoped,you'd come with it. Oh, William, you _are a nice_ boy!"
William glowed with pride.
"William!" bellowed an irate voice from William's front door.
William knew that voice. It was the voice of the male parent who hasstood all he's jolly well going to stand from that kid, and is out forvengeance. They'd got to the pears! Oh, crumbs! They'd got to thepears! And even the thought of Nemesis to come could not dull forWilliam the bliss of that vision.
WILLIAM LEANT BACK IN A SUPERIOR, BENEVOLENT MANNER ANDWATCHED THE SMILE FREEZE UPON HER FACE AND HER LOOK OF ECSTASY CHANGETO ONE OF FURY.]
"Oh, William," said the little girl next door sadly, "they're callingyou. Will you have to go?"
"Not me," said William earnestly. "I'm not going--not till they fetchme. Here! you begin. I don't want any. I've had lots of things. Youeat it all."
Her face radiant with anticipation, the little girl took up her spoon.
William leant back in a superior, benevolent manner and watched thesmile freeze upon her face and her look of ecstasy change to one offury. With a horrible suspicion at his heart he seized the spoon shehad dropped and took a mouthful himself.
_He had brought the rice-mould by mistake!_