Notorious by Iris Johansen
“And the other part of you?”
His smile was blatantly sensual, as sensual as when he had smiled at her last night when he had moved—She quickly looked away from him and down at the marble paperweight. “You’re reputed to be an intelligent man. You must have realized by now that the situation wasn’t what you thought it was.”
“Unless Ben enjoyed you in, shall we say, more ‘exotic’ ways, I’d say that was abundantly clear.” His gaze searched her face. “You didn’t know I had the tapes, did you?”
The color rose to her face. “No, and I’d like them back. I burned the originals after Ben’s death.”
“Mine are copies?”
She nodded. “Look, do we have to talk about this? It’s very hard for me.”
A faint smile tugged at his lips. “It’s been very hard for me too. I think I deserve an explanation.”
She caught the double entendre, and a flood of heat surged through her. She avoided his gaze as she dropped down onto the visitor’s chair beside the desk. “All right, let’s get it over with. What do you want to know?”
“Shall we start with the tapes?”
She looked down at her hands folded on her lap. “Ben was impotent.”
Sabin’s eyes widened. “The hell he was. And you married him?”
“I didn’t know. We didn’t … He swept me off my feet. We were married a week after we met.” She shook her head ruefully. “It wasn’t at all like me. I’m usually very practical and cautious. I suppose he caught me at just the right time. I’d been working like a demon to get somewhere careerwise since I was sixteen, and suddenly Ben appeared. He was good-looking, brimming with joie de vivre and little boy charm. He opened new doors for me.” She smiled sadly. “I fell in love with him.”
A distinct edge sharpened Sabin’s voice. “I have no desire to hear how irresistible you found him.”
“Anyway, Ben was impotent. I wanted to make our marriage work, so I arranged for both of us to go to a therapy clinic.” She looked straight ahead. “They said his problem was mental not physical and suggested I do whatever was necessary to—Ben said making and watching the tapes would help.”
“I can imagine.” Sabin’s tone was dry. “They’d arouse a eunuch. What about the ermine coat and the jewelry?”
“Ben said he rented them. I only wore them for the films. I don’t know what he did with them afterward.” She lifted her gaze to meet his. “The films didn’t work. I didn’t find out until a few weeks before he died why he didn’t find me desirable.”
“He was an idiot?”
“Ben was gay. His lover came to see me and asked me to release Ben from our marriage.”
Sabin hid his shock.
“Did you tell the police about him?”
She shook her head. “I felt sorry for him. He was a sweet, gentle man, and I think he really loved Ben. He could never have hurt anyone. Why should I involve him?”
“Some people might say it would have helped to take off some of the flack you were getting.” He studied her troubled expression for a moment. “You don’t understand that viewpoint. Interesting.”
“I could handle the flack.” She shrugged. “You grow up fast and tough when you’re on your own.”
“Tough?” He shook his head. “No way.”
“I suppose you have a right to think I don’t have much backbone based on the way I caved in when—”
“I didn’t say I didn’t think you had courage. I just said you’re about as tough as a day-old kitten.” A smile suddenly lit his face. “And I’m happy as a clam about it.”
She looked at him startled. “Why?”
“Because I am tough and that gives me one hell of an advantage.” He stood up and came around the desk toward her.
She instinctively stiffened and leaned back.
He stopped and shook his head. “I’m not stupid enough to approach you now. I made a mistake, and I know I have to make that up to you. Besides, the mark of a good businessman is to analyze the ebb and flow of the marketplace and adjust accordingly.” He reached out one finger and touched her cheek. “And I’m a very good businessman, Mallory.”
She could feel her cheek burn beneath the pad of his finger.
She had a sudden vivid picture of herself lying naked on that leather chaise lounge across the room with Sabin looming over her, all muscular power and primitive need.
His smile faded. “Now I wonder what you’re thinking about? Perhaps we’re having less ebb and more flow after all.”
“No.” She swallowed and stood up. “I … don’t know how my voice came to be on the end of that tape. I didn’t say those words.”
“Professionals can splice tapes so that the flow between words is seamless. The breaks become indistinguishable. Ben probably thought that was a stroke of genius.” He shrugged. “He wasn’t far wrong.”
“When can I leave here?”
“Are we back to that?”
“Yes.” She moistened her lips with her tongue. “I’ve been thinking about this feeling you had for me, and I’ve decided it was composed of both annoyance because you thought I’d cheated you and a desire for the unattainable. Now that you know I had nothing to do with Ben bilking you out of that money, one of those reasons should be nullified.” She paused. “And you’ve already had me so I’m no longer unattainable.”
“So that should take care of the whole kit and caboodle?” Sabin lifted his brow. “Are you always this analytical?”
She nodded. “It makes life simpler if you try to understand why people act and react the way they do.”
“I see.” He leaned back against the desk and crossed his arms over his chest. “And I’m supposed to react to your clarification of my unreasonable attitude by letting you go?”
“I hope you will.”
He shook his head. “How can I do that, when you just blew it?”
She looked at him in bewilderment.
“You’re trying to run away.” His eyes twinkled. “That automatically makes you unattainable again.”
Her bewilderment turned to surprise. “You’re different today.”
“I don’t go around all the time brooding like Heathcliff and kidnapping nubile young maidens to ravish.”
“Only half the time?”
“Scarcely a quarter.” He leered melodramatically. “I conserve all my energy so that when I do, I can give it my full attention.”
She found herself laughing. “You’re joking, right? You realize how foolish this all is?”
“All obsessions are sublimely foolish,” he agreed. “That’s why they have to be taken seriously.” He straightened away from the desk. “Dinner should be ready by now. Would you like a drink first?”
She shook her head. “I’m still taking the pills.”
He frowned. “I don’t like prescription drugs. They’re like guerrillas who sneak up and slice your throat before you even know they’re a threat.”
“Dr. Blairen said I needed them for a while longer.”
“Maybe. We’ll talk about it later. Are you hungry?”
“Not really. It seems I’ve done nothing but eat and sleep for the last two days.”
“You needed it.” His hand cupped her elbow as he propelled her toward the door. “You could use at least another ten pounds.”
“I’ll photograph better at this weight. Everything has an up side.”
“Does it?” He opened the door. “You sound like Pollyanna.”
She chuckled. “What’s wrong with that? Lord, how I hate gloomy, cynical people who won’t admit there are still beautiful things in the world.” Her smile faded as she looked at him earnestly. “It’s going to be all right, isn’t it? You’re going to be sensible about this?”
“It’s going to be fine.” He urged her forward into the corridor. “And we’ll discuss your departure after dinner.”
She smiled, relieved. “I knew you’d be reasonable once the misunderstanding was straightened out.”
“Oh
“It depends on how the term is used. I have an idea you could definitely be called an irresistible force.”
“But you’re hardly an immovable object.” His keen gaze raked her face. “You obviously have a heart made of mush and can be imposed on by all and sundry.”
“Not true.”
“No? You allowed Ben to manipulate you shamelessly. You let his lover, who would have been a prime murder suspect, slip out of the spotlight scot-free. You’re even making excuses for me.” He glanced away from her. “My Lord, and you still say you’re tough?”
“You don’t have to be aggressive to be strong,” she said quietly. “Resilience and endurance are just as important in the long run.”
“If you take aggressive action you eliminate the need to endure.”
“We’re not going to agree on this.”
“So you refuse to argue?”
“Why should I? Our viewpoints are obviously light years apart. I’d wager we’re not compatible on very many subjects.”
“Perhaps.” He opened the door to the left of the corridor to reveal a formal dining room. “But sometimes incompatibility on minor points doesn’t mean a damn thing if you’re compatible on the big ones.”
Sabin crouching naked between her thighs, his face glazed with pleasure.
The picture flashed through Mallory’s mind bringing with it the now familiar breathlessness. She gazed at him warily. “For instance?”
“World hunger. Should we get rid of the nukes? Do we go to the stars or only try to improve life here on earth?” He smiled innocently as he held her chair for her. “Did you think I meant anything else?”
“No.” She sat down and took her napkin from the table. “I only wondered.”
Sabin sat down across from her. “Well, should we do it?”
“Do what?”
“Go to the stars.” He motioned to the white-clad servant hovering nearby to begin serving before he turned back to her. “What’s your view on the appropriations for NASA?”
By the time the meal ended, Sabin not only knew her viewpoints on all the subjects he’d mentioned but practically every other topic under the sun. He kept a rapid fire of questions and answers going and seemed genuinely absorbed in her replies.
Mallory found their views seldom coincided, but she found Sabin surprisingly tolerant and ready to listen even when he disagreed. Even the arguments became enjoyable; he displayed a rapier sharp wit and a dry sense of humor that made any conversation stimulating to the point of exhilaration.
“We’ll have coffee later,” he said as he pushed back his chair after they had finished dessert. “Have you ever seen the desert sky at night?”
She shook her head. “I grew up in Chicago.”
“Then you have a treat.” He pulled back her chair. “Come out into the garden.”
She grinned. “And walk down the primrose path?”
“No primroses in Sedikhan. The flora is much more exotic.”
He opened the French doors, and she was immediately bombarded by the scent of jasmine and gardenia.
She breathed deeply as she followed him down the landscaped path. “Wonderful.”
“Now look up there.” He pointed at the velvety black of the night sky studded with glittering stars. “How can you say we should stay earth-bound with all that waiting for us?”
“Ethiopia.”
“Jupiter.”
“Bangladesh.”
“Mush. A heart full of pure mush.”
She dropped down on a marble bench by a graceful mosaic fountain and looked up at him. He towered above her, the rich dark brown of his hair almost black in the moonlight. “Is that why you brought me out here? To argue about appropriations for NASA?”
“No.” He leaned on the rim of the fountain. “I thought I’d better provide you with the most pleasant setting possible when I told you I wasn’t letting you go.”
She stiffened. “What? But you said after dinner we’d—”
“Discuss your departure,” he finished. “And we are. You’re not leaving Kandrahan.”
“This is ridiculous.”
He shook his head. “I know this throws all your neat little analysis out of kilter, but I don’t give a damn about getting even with you and Ben. I never did. I just wanted you.”
“You’ve had me, dammit.”
“I want you again,” he said softly. “And again and again. I want you to be my mistress, Mallory.”
“Well, you can’t have everything you want. I’ve no desire to be anyone’s mistress. All I want to do is get on with my life. It was all a mistake and—”
“What we had in the library was no mistake.” A hint of steel entered his tone. “You enjoyed the hell out of it, and I nearly went crazy.”
“Sex.” Mallory shook her head. “You can’t base a relationship on sex.”
“It’s done all the time.” He paused. “Besides, there may be more between us. It’s too soon to tell. I thought you were something you’re not, and all this has thrown me a curve.” He stopped and when he continued his voice held a note of restrained violence. “I need time to sort things out, and I’m not letting you run away while I do it.”
“You think I’ll just jump into your bed because you want me to?”
“No.” His lips tightened. “I know damn well you won’t. That’s why I’m grabbing my chance. For heaven’s sake, I’m not talking rape, Mallory.”
She laughed without mirth. “It sounds remarkably like it.”
His hands closed on the rim of the fountain. “Look, you’re not well enough to work yet.”
“I think that’s my decision to make.”
“Not while you’re under contract to me.”
“You?”
“Global.”
She stood up, her eyes were blazing at him. “You’d keep me from acting?”
“Until you’re entirely well.”
“Then I’ll get another job. I’ll wait tables or—”
“Not in Sedikhan. You don’t speak the language.”
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “I’m beginning to become very angry with you, Sabin.”
“I don’t blame you. I’d be mad as hell.”
“Then let me go.”
He slowly shook his head. “Not yet. Give me three weeks.”
“To convince me how happy I could be as the outlet for your libido?”
He smothered a smile. “What I’m trying to do is turn back the clock to that first night when I saw you at the premiere, before everything got in our way. I’m not going to try to force you to go to bed with me, and I know bribery wouldn’t work now.” He shrugged. “That only leaves seduction, and seduction takes time. Give me three weeks to convince you that you’d be happy as my mistress. After that, I’ll let you leave Kandrahan and go to Marasef to start work on the picture.”
“And stay out of my life?”
“No promises. But I’ll stay out of your way until the picture is finished. Deal?”
She gazed at him without speaking, her mind a tumult of anger, hope, and fear. She could feel her confidence and control ebb away. He was making deals and trying to run her life to suit himself. “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”
He nodded. “I thought you would. Tell me tomorrow.”
“I’ll tell you when I know myself.” She whirled on her heel and strode toward the palace. “And not before.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He was laughing at her.
She glared at him over her shoulder. “And I am not mush.”
“I’m beginning to think I exaggerated on that score.”
“You’re damned right you did.”
She swept regally into the house and slammed the door.
She had done that quite well, she thought with satisfaction
She only wished her confidence was genuine instead of bravado. She knew she would have to agree to the terms Sabin had set for her. She needed that role with Global, dammit.
She just wished she hadn’t found Sabin so blasted interesting this evening. It was difficult enough fighting that intense sexual charisma, but tonight she had learned he could also be as stimulating mentally as he was physically. She had actually liked the man.
Because he had wanted her to like him, she reminded herself. He had deliberately shown her other facets of his personality so that she could see that the role he wanted her to play in his life would be pleasant.
Pleasant? She had been half out of her head when they had made love, and he had still brought her so much pleasure she couldn’t bear to think about it without feeling that same heated response.
But sex wasn’t enough, just as the tender, maternal affection she had felt for Ben wasn’t enough. She had made one mistake that had nearly wrecked her life, and she wasn’t about to make another. A career and friends, while not as exciting, were far safer than the kind of relationship Sabin was offering her.
Now all she had to do was maintain her cool, sensible attitude for the next three weeks.
The next morning, Carey Litzke was sitting at the breakfast table with Sabin when Mallory walked into the dining room. He broke off in midsentence and gazed at Mallory warily. “Hi, I suppose you’re ready to draw and quarter me?”
“The thought did occur to me. I’m not at all pleased with you.” Mallory sat down across from him and spread her napkin on her lap. She avoided looking at Sabin as she reached for her orange juice. “Sabin told me you were in Marasef. What are you doing here?”
“You said you liked him,” Sabin said. “As a gracious host, naturally I wish to provide you with congenial companions. I called Carey last night and asked him to come to Kandrahan to amuse you.”