Ocean Light by Nalini Singh
Bowen braced his feet as his world shuddered. "My course is set." He'd see it through to the end. "But if that is the result--and assuming no brain damage--it'll be a major problem for the others." Bowen would have no choice but to stand down as Alliance security chief--and yeah, even the thought of that hurt--but he couldn't trust himself in a position where Psy might be able to influence his thoughts and decisions.
But Cassius, Lily, Heenali, the other knights, they'd also have to make a choice and he knew the choice they'd make: to die in freedom. What was the point of living longer when your mind could be taken at any moment, when fear of such a violation was a constant horrified whisper in the back of your head?
"When will you know for certain?" he asked Dr. Kahananui, even as ice crystals formed in his blood. Surviving but being wide open to telepathic interference would destroy him in the end, as effectively as acid dripping on his bones.
"I'm not certain. We're navigating in the dark without lights." She returned her attention to the screen. "Come back in four hours. I have to remove the muscle trainers."
Having already made plans for his day, Bowen left without argument. It was as he was walking down the corridor that Hex ran over and stopped in front of him.
Bending down, Bowen held out his hand.
Kaia's pet took a moment to think about the offer before deciding to accept it.
Putting the mouse in the front pocket of his navy blue shirt, Bo continued toward his destination. KJ was walking in his direction, dressed in the same blue scrubs that Bowen had spotted him in the other day. "Yo, man!" He held up a hand for a high five.
After slapping his palm to the shorter man's, Bowen said, "You got a minute?"
"Sure. I was just going to ask Dr. K if she wanted me to do anything for her before I head over to the infirmary."
The orderly's eyes brightened when Bowen told him what he needed. "There's one righteous spot," he said at last. "It's not real flash, but it's the least used. Good chance you can find it empty, especially at night."
Quickly memorizing the instructions on how to reach the location, Bowen asked a couple more questions, then said, "Thanks. And keep it under your hat."
"Total word of honor," the other man drawled. "Good luck."
Bowen bumped fists with him and carried on ahead, hoping the luck would stick. It wasn't like he knew what he was doing. According to the last woman he'd dated, he was about "as romantic as a block of wood." She'd suggested he read some romance how-to books before "foisting" himself on another "unfortunate" woman.
"I should've made time to read them," Bo muttered to Hex.
The mouse twitched his nose in response.
Bo's next step was to locate Seraphina or Tansy, the two women Dr. Kahananui had told him were Kaia's closest friends after Hugo. He was wondering who to approach for their whereabouts without his questions getting back to Kaia when he spotted Oleanna.
She waggled her eyebrows at his request. "No tentacles," she whispered. "Either of them."
His lips twitched; she was so joyously open about her sensuality that he could do nothing but like her. "I'm already very happily taken." It felt damn good to say that; he wasn't certain what Kaia's response would be to his declaration, but she'd walked hand in hand with him through Ryujin.
As far as Bowen was concerned, she'd claimed him.
"Talk about no tentacles!" Oleanna scowled and put her hands on her hips. "But I love Kaia, so I suppose I'll allow her to have you." She dipped her head toward him, eyes narrowed. "Why are you looking for other women if you're with Kaia?"
Realizing he'd have to confess if he wanted her help, he gave in. She clasped her hands in front of her chest afterward, bouncing on her feet. "Oh, oh, please let me help. I'm really good at sneaking things."
"As long as you can keep it secret."
"Puh-leeese." She snorted. "If you only knew the people I've had in my bed." Patting his cheek, she said, "What do you need, handsome?"
Not long afterward, he tracked Seraphina down to the assistant station commander's office. He didn't get a warm welcome.
"Hurt Kaia and I'll kneecap you." Hands on her hips, jaw set, and her purple lipstick a perfect match to her purple nails.
"I'll stand still for it if that ever becomes necessary." Bo knew he'd drive Kaia crazy in the future he was determined they'd share, but he'd never purposefully cause her pain.
"Hmm." Seraphina tapped one skyscraper-high heel on the carpet of her office. "What do you want?"
A faint softening in her face when he told her. "Well, I guess it's better than dead clams," she said, putting him firmly in his place. But she gave him what he needed--and added an unexpected extra. "I can close out the location for you. It'll say Closed for Maintenance on the panel. Input this code and you'll be able to get in."
"How about a no-swim zone above the transparent area?"
Seraphina gave him a you're pushing it look but said, "Doable. I'll turn the external lighting from white to blue in that spot--that's a sign to our people that we're working there and they should steer clear."
Tansy was softer and sweeter, and had giant garden shears in her hand when he found her in an internal garden that was apparently also a lab where she worked on plants genetically engineered to thrive under the simulated sunlight. She snapped those shears menacingly after telling him to "Take care of Kaia."
He found himself grinning on the inside, imagining what implement Kaia would use to warn off any suitors Seraphina or Tansy might have. "I will," he said. "Thank you for the help."
It was all going well until he ran into Alden the Walrus--no way in hell was the man anything else--in a dark and silent corner of the station. When Alden's face began to go a blotchy red, his hands bunching, Bo had had enough. "Stop," he said very quietly. "Or I will be forced to dislocate your arm, break your femur, and crack three ribs."
The extremely specific list had Alden freezing. When the changeling found his voice at last, he said, "How're you going to do that, bug man?" He curled his lip.
Bowen smiled at Alden and it was what Lily called his "scary" smile.
Alden stumbled back a step.
Deciding to give the man an out so he wouldn't feel compelled to follow through on his implied threat in order to save face, Bo said, "You should also know that Dex is still so angry he wants to take a sledgehammer to your bones." He shrugged. "I'd stay out of sight and out of mind unless you want to screw with him."
"Yeah, fine, whatever." Alden's voice came out a growl. "But you can't hide behind Attie forever. Soon as she's had her pup, you're mine." He thumped a fist into the open palm of his other hand. "Not that I'll have to hurt you when Hugo comes back. He'll crush you for touching his future mate."
Bowen didn't move until Alden's footsteps had faded far into the distance; Alden was the last person he wanted to know about his plans. "Pup," he murmured softly, ignoring the other part of Alden's threat. "What sea creature has pups?" Seals were the only ones he could think of; seals were also playful.
Was Kaia a seal, round dark eyes and inquisitive face?
Intrigued by the idea, but conscious that many things could alter genetic lines, he reminded himself that not only was Dr. Kahananui Kaia's cousin rather than sister, he had no idea of Dex's animal. He also needed to know what beings Kaia's parents had carried inside their skins before he could hazard a guess at her own.
Chewing on the mystery, he got on with what he needed to do; he was halfway through the physical prep when KJ poked his head into the doorway. He'd changed out of his scrubs into dark brown cargo pants and a short-sleeved white T-shirt.
"Hey, I'm off shift and don't need to get to my lessons for like two hours," the orderly said around the gum in his mouth. "Want some help?"
"Thanks, 'preciate it." The sooner he cleared this space, the sooner he could get to work on the second part of his plan--and that, he'd be doing on his own. "What're you studying?"
"Nursing, dude." He cracked his gum, the fresh scen
KJ whistled as he worked, his good nature so infectious that Bowen could see exactly why he'd gone into not one but two areas of medicine that meant constant patient contact. "You mated, KJ?" He nodded at the gold ring the BlackSea male wore on the ring finger of his left hand; it was rare to see that among changelings. They tended to rely on scent or other markers to tell if someone was single or not.
"Working on it--married three years now." The orderly grinned, his muscular arms bulging as he lifted a large box and carried it to the far left wall. "She's human, likes me to wear the ring." Another grin. "Says it's like her brand on me. I'm cool with that until our mating bond kicks in--'cause I know it will."
Bowen frowned. "I didn't realize there were any other humans on this station."
"Lis is the only one." He helped Bo move a particularly heavy box, his strength surprising for his size. "Solo round-the-world sailor. Had a wreck. I rescued her and she fell madly, passionately, forever in love with her heroic merman." His smile was wicked, his eyes dancing. "At the moment, she's holed up in our living unit working on a totally awesome yacht design. Once she needs to sail again, I'll switch shifts to the city upside."
The city upside.
Bo had known such a city must exist--Ryujin would otherwise be too isolated, too difficult to service--but it was good to have confirmation. The security chief part of his mind automatically recalculated his situation but came to the same conclusion as before: Bowen couldn't leave unless he managed to commandeer a submersible, then outmaneuver BlackSea's security protocols.
He'd spotted a map at the back of Seraphina's office and his brain had automatically taken a snapshot. Now that snapshot came to the fore, and he understood the map was of oceanic routes around Ryujin. The sea was a big place. If a man was careful about how he stole a submersible and he figured out the frequency on which to listen to security transmissions, he could thread the needle.
Chapter 33
There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Nothing.
--Hugo Sorensen in a message to Alden Jones
BO SPENT MUCH of the afternoon being divested of the bugs.
He'd worried their removal would weaken him, but he felt the same. Obviously, the bugs had done their job and done it well.
The rest was up to him.
Hundreds of tiny pinpricks dotted his body where the bugs had hooked into his system, but Dr. Kahananui prescribed him a thin gel that sank into his skin and caused an immediate reduction of the redness. Another day and the pinpricks would be all but gone. Since Bo wasn't a man who went around moisturizing himself, it felt distinctively odd to slather the gel all over his body, but he told himself it was topical medication and got on with it.
When he realized he couldn't get to all the pricks on his back, he decided to use the opportunity to play with his siren. He hadn't seen her since she left his bed, the hunger inside him a throb.
Using the comm function on the data panel to access the station's list of public codes, he contacted the kitchen. It was postlunch and predinner, so hopefully, Kaia would be free. He kept it audio only until he got her on the line; he'd noted the location of the kitchen comm panel the first time he entered the room and knew no one else would see him if he turned on the visual.
* * *
*
"YES?" Kaia was not having a good day; she missed Bowen like he was a part of her she'd mislaid, and none of her rational arguments about how he'd inevitably break her already scarred heart seemed to be having any impact on the painful need deep within.
Even her exuberant other self was morose and sulking. Which was why she'd given all her kitchen staff the afternoon off and was personally making the vat of pasta sauce for tonight's dinner. Her clanmates shouldn't have to put up with her bad mood.
"What--" She cut off her impatient question when she saw the face of the man who'd called--and noticed his half-naked body.
Her thighs clenched, her nipples suddenly plump, hard points. "I'm sorry," she said aloud. "I didn't sign up for a porn show." Or for this man who'd thrown her world into chaos.
"So you think I could be on a porn show?"
Kaia's lips wanted to twitch. How could she have seen him as harsh and grim at the start? He was so wickedly playful, reaching the core of her nature. "For those with a hospital-patient fetish, maybe."
"Ouch." Making a downcast face, he said, "That's kind of why I called."
She folded her arms, refusing to soften . . . trying to keep her distance.
He held up a small jar of what she recognized as a healing gel created by Tansy. "I can't reach my back."
"Try using a shower scrubbing brush." She switched off the screen on those sharp words and told herself to concentrate on her work; dinner wasn't going to make itself. She had no time to go pet a man who was going to leave her, one way or another.
Oblivion or back to the surface, those were the only two choices open to the security chief of the Human Alliance.
Both were places Kaia couldn't go, couldn't follow.
It took her two short minutes to surrender to the compulsion to touch him, draw his scent into her lungs, take care of him. "Argh!" Leaving her ingredients spread out on the counter, she pulled off her apron before stalking out.
Hex was nowhere in sight; maybe her genius mouse had decided to avoid her temper, too.
* * *
*
"COME in," Bo called out when someone knocked on his door.
It slid open. He'd been expecting Dr. Kahananui, come to take another scan or reading, but the scent that whispered across on the air was of an exotic tropical flower fused with a hint of coconut. A creamy white bloom sat tucked over Kaia's right ear.
Bowen's gut clenched.
Striding over, she grabbed the jar and said, "Stay still."
He obeyed . . . but couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. At least until she slapped the gel onto his back hard enough to tell him she'd caught his response. His lack of a grin didn't last long--Kaia might still be wearing the flower over her right ear, but she had her hands on him and after that first rough touch, she'd turned gentle, caressing the gel onto his skin, where it sank in without a trace.
Bowen wanted to purr like a damn cat.
"What's this tattoo?" she asked as she worked.
"Which one?"
"This." She touched the design just below his left shoulder. "No, wait. I've seen this before . . ."
Wondering if she'd recognize it, Bo closed his eyes and surrendered to the bone-deep pleasure of her hands on his flesh, strong and competent, with the odd patch of roughness from her work in the kitchen.
"It's the emblem of the Peace Accord." She traced the lines with a fingertip.
Fighting back a shiver, he said, "My first tattoo--got it when I was fifteen." After reading all of Adrian Kenner's journals and earning enough money to pay for the tat himself; he'd known his parents wouldn't give him permission, but Cassius was friends with a guy who knew an artist who didn't ask for ID.
It had been stupid teenage luck for Bo that the artist was excellent at what he did.
"Why do you have it?" A wild curiosity in the question that told him he wasn't only talking to her human side, her body close enough that he could feel the lush warmth of her against him. "Humans don't often care about the Peace Accord."
Bowen knew it was mostly changeling blood that had drenched the land in red, changelings who'd fought so brutally that they'd ended clans and devastated packs. The Peace Accord had forever altered their history. "Do you remember the name of the peace negotiator?"
"Of course. Adrian Kenner is one of the most respected men in our history."
"He had a middle name."
"Adrian B. Kenner, yes." Her hand paused on his back. "Bowen? You were named after him?"
He nodded. "My full name is Bowen Adrian Knight." It was a heritage
"You have a proud history." Kaia began to smooth the gel into his skin once more. Bowen closed his eyes again, his focus on her touch alone. Only when he heard her screwing on the lid of the jar did he turn.
She stood her ground, though he was far too close, her breasts a bare inch from brushing his chest. Shoving the jar against his breastbone, she said, "I have to get back to the kitchen."
"A couple of your clanmates cornered me earlier." Bowen had listened politely to the older women while his muscles bunched one by one. "Said it was a disgrace I was taking advantage of you when your future mate wasn't here to protect you."
"I don't need protecting." Kaia scowled.
"Is he? Your mate?" Bowen had shrugged off Alden's comments and reasoned his way out of Carlotta's earlier ones, but the words had built silently inside him until he needed Kaia to tell him her heart didn't belong to another man. "Is that why you're pulling away?"
"If I had a mate," she gritted out, "if I felt that way about a man, I sure as hell wouldn't have shared intimate skin privileges with you!"
He'd insulted her honor, he realized too late. "Jesus, I'm a fool." Knowing he was playing with his life, he kissed his enraged siren and she went straight to his head.
Chapter 34
Lover.
Friend.
Laughter.
Mate.
--Unknown poet (circa 1763)
KAIA FELT THE punch of Bowen's kiss right down to the bone. She'd been tempted to lie about Hugo--she could fight her compulsion to go to Bowen if he was keeping a cold distance from her. It wasn't as if her clanmates wouldn't support her; half the station and the city thought she and Hugo were a meant-to-be pair.
But Kaia wasn't a liar.
And Hugo would only ever be a friend she thought of in the same breath as Mal and Edison and Armand and the others. A brother, even if they were unrelated by blood. He'd never terrified her as Bowen terrified her, never come close to smashing through the defenses she'd erected desperately as a young girl who'd watched her parents' chests rise and fall accompanied by the hush, hush of the machines.