Off the Record by Sawyer Bennett

  My hand reflexively tightens on Linc's and he looks at me with surprise. I don't know what my face looks like, but his face immediately fills with worry. "What's wrong?" he asks.

  "It's my father."

  And there he is, walking into the dining room. He even has a wrapped birthday gift in his hand.

  It galls me that he feels he can just come and go in my mother's house. He has no right.

  My dad looks at me, then at Linc, then at my mom. He walks over to her. "Happy birthday, Sammy."

  I wince as my mother stands up and gives him a hug. "Thanks, John. Is that for me?"

  "Yeah. Just a little something I picked up for you," he says, handing her the gift.

  "That's so sweet. Thank you." My mom takes the gift and just holds it. She looks at me with worry. The silence is oppressive and my mom seeks to alleviate it.

  "John...this is Linc Caldwell. He's a friend of Ever's."

  My dad steps around the table and Linc stands to greet him, briefly releasing my hand. I feel cold and alone. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Montgomery."

  "Likewise."

  Linc sits back down and immediately picks up my hand. He starts rubbing his thumb across the back, almost desperately trying to give me consolation, although he has no idea why I need it. The silence gets thick again, and my dad glances back and forth between me and my mom.

  "Would you like some cake, John?" My mom is nervous, I can tell. I can alleviate this nervousness if I wanted, simply by talking to my dad. But I don't.

  "No thanks. Cathryn is expecting me home for dinner. I wanted to stop by and talk to Ever actually."

  My hand tightens around Linc's again, and I just stare at my dad, willing him to go away. No such luck, though. My mom, being the gracious southern woman that she is, said, "Linc...why don't you help me in the kitchen while Ever and her dad talk."

  I finally find my voice and say, "I don't have anything to say to him."

  The look on my dad's face is pained and my heart actually leaps with joy that I have hurt him. I glance to Linc and he has the same look of worry on his face he has been sporting since he felt me tense up when my dad walked in.

  "Ever," my mom pleads. "It's my birthday. Please...just talk to him."

  I stand up from the table, releasing Linc's hand. I can feel the tell-tale sign of tears stinging my eyes. My mom is pitting my love for her against my loathing for my dad, and normally my love for her would win out. But I just can't do it.

  "I'm sorry, Mom. I just can't. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a walk."

  I spin on my heel, and practically flee the house. I can hear my mother call after me, but I don't stop. I run out of the house, making it halfway down the block before I slow down.

  Within just a minute, I hear footsteps beside me, and then Linc is there, putting his hand in mine. He doesn't say anything, just walks beside me while he holds my hand.

  Three blocks down from my mom's house sits a little park. It's nothing really but a small parcel of land with some playground equipment and nice shrubbery. Linc leads me over to a bench and we sit down. He puts his arm around me, drawing me into his shoulder.

  "Whatever it is...you can tell me," he offers and kisses the top of my head.

  I'm silent for a minute, but then I decide to let Linc know exactly how fucked up I am. "When my mom got cancer, I was just sixteen. You know...it's that time in your life when everything should be great, right? I was Captain of our cross country team, I was dating the most popular boy, and everything was just perfect in my life. And then my world came tumbling down. My mom's diagnosis was grim, so I felt like I had already lost her. I started grieving really hard, even before she started her actual treatment. My dad...he was in denial at first, but then as mom started to undergo her treatments, he started to understand how real it was."

  "What happened?" Linc asks.

  I turn my head up to look at him. "He left us, Linc. He left us because he couldn't deal with my mom being sick."

  "He left?" Linc is bewildered by my accusation.

  I nod my head. "Just three weeks after she started her treatments. He sat us both down in the living room and told us that he just couldn't handle it. That he couldn't handle watching his wife die, and he wanted out. He packed his stuff up that night and left. He left me to worry about her. To drive her to her treatments. To mop up her vomit. He left me to clean up the hair from her pillowcase as it fell out of her head, and he left me to be the one to hold her at night when she got so cold that nothing would warm her up. He didn't just leave his wife, Linc. He left his daughter to handle all of that on her own. I was sixteen for fuck's sake!"

  The tears I had felt prickling never fell. They haven't fallen since that day my father walked out of our lives. I had cried my eyes out that day, and then that was the last time I ever let them fall again.

  It felt good to just get those words out, to share some of that pain, and it made it easy to push the sorrow back.

  "I'm so sorry, Ever. That was a totally selfish thing for your father to do."

  "He at least had the manners to wait a few months before he started seeing someone else. His current wife, Cathryn. And you know what burns me up the most...that my mom has forgiven him. That she doesn't mind him coming over, and calling her Sammy, and bringing her presents. I mean, what self-respecting woman does that?"

  Linc is cautious when he says, "Your mom is just a very forgiving person, Ever. That's her way. It doesn't have to be yours, but it doesn't mean that she's wrong either."

  My gut instinct is to shout at him for taking her side, but when it boils down to it, he's right. I have no right to judge my mom for her actions. But she has no right to judge mine. It's my right to withhold forgiveness.

  "Linc...my father...what he did to us...it's why I'm so distrustful. It really has nothing to do with what Marc did to me. I mean, that didn't help, but it really comes down to my father. I mean, if a man can leave his wife while she's sick, how can I trust that you won't hurt me?"

  "Oh, baby," Linc says with such softness. "Not all men are the same. You have to know that, right?"

  "That's the problem," I tell him with candor. "I don't know that."

  Ever and I have been back from North Carolina for two days and we've settled into a routine. I think the truth of the matter is, Ever could write her article on me at this point, and I know she'd do a damn fine job of it. But neither of us mentions it.

  I don't mention it because that would mean that her time living with me would be over, and I'm not ready for that to happen yet. I'm not sure why Ever doesn't say something, but I'm not opening that door and giving her a chance to leave.

  We got up this morning and did our five mile run. Then she joined me at the gym, while I pounded at the weights. I know I wanted her to spend every minute with me, merely as a means to punish her originally. The thought of her having her eyes on me while I did something as boring as lifting a barbell repetitively had once filled me with glee. Now, I just like having her eyes on me because it's a different look.

  Now when she watches me work out, there is heat in her eyes. I have to concentrate so I don't get a boner in the middle of the gym. Sometimes she even comes over to me, handing me some water to drink and she'll smooth a hand over my shoulder. It's fucking weird, but I'm starting to live for those moments.

  Something had changed during our trip to North Carolina. Whereas our relationship started out as pure, combustible sex, now there is contentment in just hanging out together. Just yesterday, we spent all afternoon on the balcony of my condo doing crossword puzzles together. A pastime I would have considered lame just a mere few weeks ago.

  And at night? Well...there is still that pure, combustible sex. It's amazing and it's only getting better. I swear, every time Ever propels me to an orgasm, it feels like the best and most powerful one I've ever had. Sometimes, she can just give me a look, or make a sound, and I can't think of anything but pushing my way inside of her.

  Of possessing he
r completely.

  I need to turn those thoughts off as we are on our way now to meet Nix and Emily for dinner and drinks. As we approach, I spot Nix and Emily sitting at an outdoor table. Rather than walking through the interior of the restaurant to meet them, I hop the three foot metal railing that sections the outdoor seating area off from the Manhattan sidewalk. I immediately turn around and scoop Ever up and haul her over. She squeals at the unexpected lift I give her and I kiss her neck before I set her down.

  When I turn around, both Nix and Emily have their eyebrows raised at our uncharacteristic display of affection.

  "Well, you two are getting along quite well," Emily says.

  I hold out Ever's chair for her and after she sits, I bend to kiss her on the neck again. "You have no idea how much," I respond, and Ever blushes cherry red.

  A waitress comes by and we order beers. I worked out extra hard today at the gym and Ever and I burned more calories on the dining room table just before we got ready to come out tonight. I don't know if I'll be able to eat at that table again without thinking about her splayed out as my own personal Ever-buffet.

  "So, how was your trip to Wyoming?" Nix asks.

  Ever launches into a full regalia of our time out there, and I smile inside over how much she came to love Wyoming in the short period of time we were there. As she talks, I take note of the way she moves her hands. I get sidetracked by the way her hair lays over her breasts. I wonder if she watches me the way I watch her.

  "Excuse me, Mr. Caldwell...can I get an autograph?"

  I'm jolted out of my thoughts by a voice to my left. A group of people are standing at the other side of the metal railing, looking at me.

  "Sure," I say, and stand up from the table. I know a lot of celebrities and athletes don't like to be bothered for autographs, but it's one of the duties I take seriously. Especially to the people of a city that has so graciously supported my career here.

  I step up to the railing and start signing. Ever continues her discussion about Wyoming and I can't help but be more interested in what she is saying than chatting with my fans.

  The next woman up hands me a piece of paper and a pen.

  "Who do you want me to make this out to?"

  "Kara," she says breathlessly and I recognize that tone. I look at her and she's undressing me with unbridled lust in her eyes. "That's K-A-R-A."

  "Sure thing." I start scribbling Thanks for the support, Kara - Linc Caldwell, #22.

  I hand her the scrap of paper and look to the next person, but she surprises me by handing me a piece of paper in return. "Here's my number. Call me anytime...day or night. You won't be disappointed."

  Now, I've been with my share of women, but calling a strange woman that hands me their number is something I've never done. There are too many loonies out there. But before I can respond, a small hand reaches out and snatches the paper. I look down, and Ever is standing beside me, holding the phone number.

  She hands it back to the woman. "No, thanks. He's not interested." Her tone brooks no nonsense and she's looking at the woman like she wants to punch her lights out.

  I want to break out into laughter and jump around in joy over this glorious display of jealousy that Ever is exhibiting. It must mean that she cares.

  I look back to the woman and she's not even looking at Ever. She's looking at me like Ever doesn't even matter. She's expecting me to accept the number.

  Sorry, lady. No can do.

  "She's right," I speak to the lady although I'm looking at Ever. Holding her blue eyes I say, "I'm only interested in one woman."

  I have no clue what the woman does and I assume she walks away. Because I'm entranced by the way that my girl's eyes flare with wonderment that I would proclaim that. I don't know why she wouldn't think I would, but she needs to learn that she's hooked my heart.

  I reach my hand out and cup her face. She closes her eyes and I take the opportunity to bend down and lightly run my lips across hers.

  "I didn't know you had such jealous bones," I tease her.

  Her eyes pop open and flash hot. "I was not jealous."

  I just cock an eyebrow at her.

  "I wasn't. I was just...just...saving me the trouble of having to write something negative about you."

  I throw my head back and laugh, and I can hear Nix and Emily snickering behind us. "Whatever you say, baby."

  The night has been fantastic, hanging out with Ever, Nix and Emily. It saddens me that if I get traded, these nights will be no more. Never have Nix and I been in relationships that were serious, and it's really fun spending time together as couples.

  I told Nix and Emily about the possible trade, and whether it was consciously or subconsciously, I could care less, but Ever reached over and held my hand while I told them what was going on.

  She cares about me...I know she does.

  After we pay our bill, we say our goodbyes. Ever and I head inside to the restrooms to use one more time before we start the three block walk back to the car.

  I finish before Ever does and wait in the hallway for her. I'm considering where I want to fuck her when we get home. I don't think we've tried her bed yet. Or maybe the balcony, as we watch the twinkling lights of Manhattan across the river. I can stand behind her while she braces herself against the railing. I start to get hard just thinking about it.

  "Don't you walk away from me, you bitch!"

  I turn swiftly to see Ever dashing out of the women's restroom with three women on her heels. One is reaching for Ever's shoulder and says, "Didn't you hear me...I said come here, you fucking bitch."

  I act before I think and I lunge forward, pushing Ever behind me before the woman can touch her. When the woman looks up and sees me, she comes to a dead halt and her jaw hangs open. The two women behind her stand equally shocked, and one even whispers, "It's Linc Caldwell" in an awestruck voice.

  "What the hell is going on here?" They do nothing but stare at me, mouths still hanging open. I turn to Ever.

  Her face is pale and her bottom lip is trembling. I put my hand under her chin, raising her gaze to meet mine. "What happened?"

  She takes a deep breath and gives me a tremulous smile. "It seems your fans recognized my picture from The Post article I wrote about you and took some exception to it."

  "What did they do to you?"

  She shakes her head. "Nothing. But I think they wanted to kick my ass, so I made a run for it."

  I drop my hands and flip around to glare at the women. They are still standing there with their mouths hanging open.

  "Please tell me my girlfriend is wrong. That you weren't getting ready to attack her for that article."

  Their jaws drop open further and it suddenly occurs to me that they may be too stupid to respond. They don't have the grace to look embarrassed, but they don't have the smarts to know that I am boiling mad right now. If they weren't women, I would seriously be lashing out physically.

  Finally, one of them gasps, "Your girlfriend?"

  I can't help the sarcasm that drips through my voice. "That's right. Apparently you might have some brain cells beneath that bleached, blond hair."

  They are apparently still too dumbstruck to understand the fury behind my words. "But...but...she wrote those nasty things about you. We were just defending you."

  "By ganging up on someone...three to one? You ladies are about as classless as I have ever seen. But just for the record, half the things she wrote about me were true. I'm just thankful she's given me a chance to show her that's not all there is to me."

  Finally, their mouths snap shut and my insults against them finally hit their mark.

  "You're an asshole, Linc Caldwell," one of the women says, and they all three flounce off.

  I turn to Ever and she's standing there with her mouth hanging open. What is this? Catch a fly in your mouth day?

  I just stare at her for a few seconds, and she stares back at me. And then we both burst out laughing over the whole situation.

  "You'
re my knight in shining armor, Mr. Caldwell," she says as she steps forward and wraps her arms around me.

  "I'm happy to save you any day, baby." I return her hug and squeeze her tightly.

  Her had tilts back and she looks at me. "Now, let's go home. I'm going to fuck you senseless to show my appreciation of your gallantry."

  I bend down and grab her bottom lip with my teeth. I hold it there for a second, then flick my tongue out to lick it. "If that's the case, you can get into trouble any day of the week."

  She pushes her tongue into my mouth, and I fall into her. After several long moments, we finally break apart.

  We practically run the entire way back to my car.

  I'm cooking dinner for Linc and I hope he likes it. It's hard to make a romantic, savory meal when he tries to eat as healthy as possible. I settled on some seasoned baked, chicken breasts and a huge salad, even though I stared longingly at a gorgeous chocolate cake at the bakery today.

  Linc is out golfing with some teammates and he'll be home any moment. My skin practically crawls with the anticipation of seeing him. Somehow, Linc Caldwell has managed to burrow into my heart. My mom made me realize that I needed to open myself up to possibility, and I had been dubiously pondering that. But last night, when he defended me to those witches that accosted me in the bathroom, I felt the last of the ice around my heart crack.

  When we got back to the condo, Linc pulled me out onto the balcony and stripped me. My blood immediately fired through my veins, and that urge for him to take me fast and hard hit the way it always does. But he apparently had other ideas. He first made me climax with just his mouth on me, with my back pressed up against the cold balcony railing and the night air cooling my skin. When I cried out, he stood up, turned me around and bent me over.

  I was ready then for the fast and hard, but he entered me from behind with a delicious slowness that made my breath get stuck in my chest. He slowly rode me until both of us were softly cursing as the orgasms tore through us. Then he pulled me up into his arms and whispered in my ear, still lodged deep inside of me, "Never will I get enough of you."

  The ice that had completely cracked now melted into a sopping puddle, and my insides swam with butterflies. My eyes pricked with tears but I mentally dashed them back and they heeded my warning not to spill.