On the Rocks by Sawyer Bennett
Page 33
I walk up to stand before her. “Because it was unnecessary. I didn’t believe you, and I didn’t want to get Hunter upset. ”
She appraises me a moment and, for the first time, I don’t feel like she’s looking at me like a bug that she wants to crush. Instead, her face gets softer and her voice is genuine when she says, “I misjudged you. ”
“I think so,” I tell her. “I’m just not sure what you hoped to accomplish by that. You had to have known you might have driven me away if that little scheme had worked, but there’s no way Hunter would have ever taken you back. Not after what you did. ”
Sasha gives me a sad smile. “Gabby… I didn’t do that to get Hunter back. I did it only to push you away. ”
I blink at her, stunned by her words. “Why? I don’t understand. ”
Gabby looks up at Hunter’s house, a wispy smile on her face, and then turns back to me. “I care for him a great deal. I may not have shown it all that well, and I screwed things up with him when I demanded he leave the tour to be with me. I know that, and I accept that. And while I may have misjudged you, I have never misjudged Hunter. I see how in love with you he is. So I’ve known from the get-go that Hunter would never go back on the Tour. There was no way he was going to leave you. ”
“You tried to drive me out so Hunter would go back on Tour? I still don’t get it… what do you stand to gain?”
“Nothing. I’d gain nothing, but Hunter would gain everything. And I still care for him. Always will. I don’t want to see this opportunity slip past him, and while John is too laid back to push Hunter one way or the other, I’m not. ”
I move past Sasha and lean up against my truck, staring at the ground while I digest what she said. I sort of believe her… that she doesn’t want anything for herself, but wants him to have another shot at the world title.
“Gabby, you don’t know Hunter the way I do… at least not the Hunter that is a professional surfer. And you don’t know what it’s like… to be out there in the heat of competition, never knowing what type of wave Mother Nature is going throw your way. It might be a small set, making you hone in and focus on your skills. It might be a massive barrel, so big it could crush you on the coral below, and your heart is in your throat as you coast it out. Either way, the adrenaline high when you drop in to ride that bitch is like nothing you can imagine. It’s like touching Heaven with your fingertips. Forget for a moment the fans screaming his name, and forget the money that will fatten his bank account. Hunter was born to be a legend. This opportunity, to walk away from a career and then literally be begged back by all the biggest surfing retailers in the world, this isn’t offered to everyone. It’s not even offered to the number one guy right now. It’s Hunter they want, because it’s Hunter that has the ability to hit the top, but more importantly, he has the ability to stay at the top. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and trust me, he will regret this until the day he dies if he passes it up. ”
Her words slam into me hard, and even though I’ve heard plenty of talk of endorsement deals and seven-figure paychecks, no one has made me consider the intangibles of what this might mean to Hunter. No one until his ex-girlfriend, who stands before me and explains to me how truly special this offer is.
“He’s made his mind up,” I whisper. “I’ve not pushed him either way. ”
“Then get him to change his mind,” she says.
“I can’t,” I tell her, casting my eyes to the ground.
“You can’t, or you won’t?”
Her words are hard but not overly harsh. I look up to her and say, “I can’t. I want him to stay, trust me. But not at the expense of him passing up an opportunity that could haunt him later in life. I’d never want that. I think… no, I know… I really want him to take this shot. ”
“Then get him to change his mind. ”
Shaking my head, I push away from my truck. “I don’t know how, Sasha. I overheard him talking to Brody. He said I’m more important than the Tour… than surfing. I don’t know how to change that. ”
Sasha steps toward me, angles her head in, and says in a quiet voice, “Then you make yourself less important. ”
The power of her words overwhelms me, and my body jerks. The only way I could possibly make myself less important is by breaching our trust… our loyalty… our love. The thought of it makes me want to vomit, because I’ll be sacrificing myself and hurting Hunter immensely. He’ll ultimately get to go back to his surfing career, but I’ll be a wreck when he’s gone.
Part of me wants to cry out to the Heavens that this isn’t fair. It shouldn’t be up to me to be the sole bearer of responsibility when it comes to Hunter’s welfare and happiness. But then I realize that it is not a responsibility that I would entrust to anyone else either. The one thing that is more important than how this will affect me… is how this will affect Hunter and his future.
Sasha may be full of herself, and she may be catty and scheming, but one thing I trust her on, for some odd reason, is that this shot for Hunter is far more important than I originally gave it credit. I think my own selfishness in not wanting him to leave, prohibited me from truly recognizing how special this opportunity is for him. As such, I need to do whatever it takes to give him that shot, because he won’t take it for himself if I’m involved.
It’s time for me to step up and make sure that Hunter is taken care of.
“All right,” I tell her as I step back and start walking around my truck to get in. “I know what I can do, but it will have to wait until after you and John leave town. I’ll talk to him tonight. ”
“What are you going to do?”
“Don’t worry about it, but you can help out. The rest of the day until you leave, I want you to try to avoid Hunter. Don’t engage him in talk, stay out of his way, and be aloof if you can. Got it?”
She nods her head at me and softly says, “Sure. ”
Sasha and I stare at each other for a moment over the hood of my truck. I wait for a look of triumph to enter her eyes, but it never comes. She just gives me a sad smile, tips her head at me, and heads back toward Hunter’s house.
Opening the door to my truck, I watch her as she walks up the stairs and disappears inside. I stare at Hunter’s cottage for a few more moments, sadness welling up inside of me that my times locked inside of there with him are coming to an end.
I try not to be bitter, but I can’t help it. It seeps in.
I finally got what I’ve wanted my whole life, only finding out that I don’t have the power to keep it. Moreover, I have the power to push it away.
The only thing I can do… the only way I can soothe the ache that has already started in my chest, is to remember that Hunter is getting what he needs and deserves and, God willing, maybe our time will come back around one day.
24
After opening my fridge and grabbing a beer, I check my watch for like the tenth time in the past hour and wonder where the hell Gabby is. I haven’t seen her since that unbelievably sweet moment this morning when she came over to bring donuts and snuggle with me for just a bit. Of course, I wanted to do more than just snuggle but I have a dick between my legs, so sue me.
Still… it was a side of Gabby that I very much liked seeing. The woman who used to be the girl that crushed on me, who is now very much the woman that sees this as way more than just a good time in bed. I’m not sure when I became this reflective, mushy kind of guy, but I’ll certainly blame Gabby for that.
I think today may be the first time since we’ve been together that I haven’t seen her for such a long period of time. She wasn’t at Last Call today, her crew saying she was off running errands while they worked on staining the outdoor area. I’ve tried calling her a few times, but just get her voice mail. For some reason, that just doesn’t sit right with me.
I distracted myself with packing John and Sasha off to the Raleigh airport. I hated to see John go. Sasha, not so much. While she was on good behavior for most of the visit, it
was still just awkward. Even more awkward today for some reason, as she would barely look me in the eye. If I asked her a direct question, she would mumble a response while staring at the floor. So very weird, so I’m glad she’s gone.
Wandering into the living room, I twist the cap off my beer and take a healthy pull. For not the first time in the last few weeks, I wonder what it would be like if Gabby moved in here with me. It was something I had thought about a lot, especially when John and Sasha were here. Mostly because their presence meant that I couldn’t have much alone time with Gabby, and it made me think of all the things we could do together once they were gone.
Yeah, I thought of all the ways and places I could f**k her in this house, but mostly, I thought of stuff that would completely have my man card revoked if anyone knew about it. I thought it would be only fair that if she cooked dinner, I would do the dishes. And I wondered if we would fight over the TV at night, knowing that if a football game were on, I would win that argument. I tried to figure out if I had enough counter space in my bathroom to hold all of a girl’s necessities, and I smiled to myself thinking that I would get to wake up every morning to her beautiful face.
Fuck, I’m not sure what I am turning into, but I’m not fighting it. No, I’m surrendering to it.
The minute I made the absolute decision to stay here, I made the decision in my mind that Gabby was the only one for me, and that there was no sense in slowing down where she was concerned. While I don’t believe the last five years without her were wasted, because let’s face it, I’ve had a pretty amazing career, I don’t want to waste another minute.
A knock at my door causes my adrenaline to spike, because I immediately know it’s Gabby, although for the life of me, I can’t figure why she doesn’t just walk in. She has a key.
Setting my beer on the coffee table, I hop the back of the couch and open the door with almost giddy excitement, man card be damned.
There she stands… golden-kissed skin, hazel eyes, and chocolate hair, framing the most beautiful face I’ve ever beheld.
“Hey baby,” I murmur as I snag her by the h*ps and pull her into to me. She steps forward, caught off guard, her hands coming up to my biceps. I bend down to touch my mouth to hers, but her head turns to the side and I end up grazing her cheekbone.
Pulling back, I look at her in curiosity because she turned away from my kiss, and now I am very much aware that she is pushing back from me. I drop my hold and she steps by me, walking into my house.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, closing the door and turning to her.
Her shoulders are tense as she walks into the living room, so I follow behind in trepidation. When she turns, her face isn’t one I recognize. It’s hard and her eyes are cold, causing my stomach to bottom out.
“I repeat. What’s wrong?” My voice sounds oddly detached and fear-tinged.
“We need to talk,” she says, her eyes firmly rooted to the carpet.
Taking three long strides around the couch, I walk right up to her, placing my hand under her chin and lifting her face to mine. “So talk, but do it while you look me in the eye. ”
Her eyes fill with sadness for a moment, a light sheen of moisture coating the green-gold brilliance. It kills me to see that look and I start to wrap my arms around her, but she’s having none of it. It happens so quickly, I’m sure maybe I even imagined it, but the sadness is gone and replaced by a hard glint as she steps away.
“We’re over,” she says.
Of all the things I thought she might say, that never crossed my mind. Blinking at her hard, because surely I heard wrong, I say, “What?”
She takes a few more steps to put distance between us, coming to stand in front of the TV. Crossing her arms over her chest, she says, “We’re over. It’s done. ”
I walk up to stand before her. “Because it was unnecessary. I didn’t believe you, and I didn’t want to get Hunter upset. ”
She appraises me a moment and, for the first time, I don’t feel like she’s looking at me like a bug that she wants to crush. Instead, her face gets softer and her voice is genuine when she says, “I misjudged you. ”
“I think so,” I tell her. “I’m just not sure what you hoped to accomplish by that. You had to have known you might have driven me away if that little scheme had worked, but there’s no way Hunter would have ever taken you back. Not after what you did. ”
Sasha gives me a sad smile. “Gabby… I didn’t do that to get Hunter back. I did it only to push you away. ”
I blink at her, stunned by her words. “Why? I don’t understand. ”
Gabby looks up at Hunter’s house, a wispy smile on her face, and then turns back to me. “I care for him a great deal. I may not have shown it all that well, and I screwed things up with him when I demanded he leave the tour to be with me. I know that, and I accept that. And while I may have misjudged you, I have never misjudged Hunter. I see how in love with you he is. So I’ve known from the get-go that Hunter would never go back on the Tour. There was no way he was going to leave you. ”
“You tried to drive me out so Hunter would go back on Tour? I still don’t get it… what do you stand to gain?”
“Nothing. I’d gain nothing, but Hunter would gain everything. And I still care for him. Always will. I don’t want to see this opportunity slip past him, and while John is too laid back to push Hunter one way or the other, I’m not. ”
I move past Sasha and lean up against my truck, staring at the ground while I digest what she said. I sort of believe her… that she doesn’t want anything for herself, but wants him to have another shot at the world title.
“Gabby, you don’t know Hunter the way I do… at least not the Hunter that is a professional surfer. And you don’t know what it’s like… to be out there in the heat of competition, never knowing what type of wave Mother Nature is going throw your way. It might be a small set, making you hone in and focus on your skills. It might be a massive barrel, so big it could crush you on the coral below, and your heart is in your throat as you coast it out. Either way, the adrenaline high when you drop in to ride that bitch is like nothing you can imagine. It’s like touching Heaven with your fingertips. Forget for a moment the fans screaming his name, and forget the money that will fatten his bank account. Hunter was born to be a legend. This opportunity, to walk away from a career and then literally be begged back by all the biggest surfing retailers in the world, this isn’t offered to everyone. It’s not even offered to the number one guy right now. It’s Hunter they want, because it’s Hunter that has the ability to hit the top, but more importantly, he has the ability to stay at the top. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and trust me, he will regret this until the day he dies if he passes it up. ”
Her words slam into me hard, and even though I’ve heard plenty of talk of endorsement deals and seven-figure paychecks, no one has made me consider the intangibles of what this might mean to Hunter. No one until his ex-girlfriend, who stands before me and explains to me how truly special this offer is.
“He’s made his mind up,” I whisper. “I’ve not pushed him either way. ”
“Then get him to change his mind,” she says.
“I can’t,” I tell her, casting my eyes to the ground.
“You can’t, or you won’t?”
Her words are hard but not overly harsh. I look up to her and say, “I can’t. I want him to stay, trust me. But not at the expense of him passing up an opportunity that could haunt him later in life. I’d never want that. I think… no, I know… I really want him to take this shot. ”
“Then get him to change his mind. ”
Shaking my head, I push away from my truck. “I don’t know how, Sasha. I overheard him talking to Brody. He said I’m more important than the Tour… than surfing. I don’t know how to change that. ”
Sasha steps toward me, angles her head in, and says in a quiet voice, “Then you make yourself less important. ”
The power of her words overwhelms me, and my body jerks. The only way I could possibly make myself less important is by breaching our trust… our loyalty… our love. The thought of it makes me want to vomit, because I’ll be sacrificing myself and hurting Hunter immensely. He’ll ultimately get to go back to his surfing career, but I’ll be a wreck when he’s gone.
Part of me wants to cry out to the Heavens that this isn’t fair. It shouldn’t be up to me to be the sole bearer of responsibility when it comes to Hunter’s welfare and happiness. But then I realize that it is not a responsibility that I would entrust to anyone else either. The one thing that is more important than how this will affect me… is how this will affect Hunter and his future.
Sasha may be full of herself, and she may be catty and scheming, but one thing I trust her on, for some odd reason, is that this shot for Hunter is far more important than I originally gave it credit. I think my own selfishness in not wanting him to leave, prohibited me from truly recognizing how special this opportunity is for him. As such, I need to do whatever it takes to give him that shot, because he won’t take it for himself if I’m involved.
It’s time for me to step up and make sure that Hunter is taken care of.
“All right,” I tell her as I step back and start walking around my truck to get in. “I know what I can do, but it will have to wait until after you and John leave town. I’ll talk to him tonight. ”
“What are you going to do?”
“Don’t worry about it, but you can help out. The rest of the day until you leave, I want you to try to avoid Hunter. Don’t engage him in talk, stay out of his way, and be aloof if you can. Got it?”
She nods her head at me and softly says, “Sure. ”
Sasha and I stare at each other for a moment over the hood of my truck. I wait for a look of triumph to enter her eyes, but it never comes. She just gives me a sad smile, tips her head at me, and heads back toward Hunter’s house.
Opening the door to my truck, I watch her as she walks up the stairs and disappears inside. I stare at Hunter’s cottage for a few more moments, sadness welling up inside of me that my times locked inside of there with him are coming to an end.
I try not to be bitter, but I can’t help it. It seeps in.
I finally got what I’ve wanted my whole life, only finding out that I don’t have the power to keep it. Moreover, I have the power to push it away.
The only thing I can do… the only way I can soothe the ache that has already started in my chest, is to remember that Hunter is getting what he needs and deserves and, God willing, maybe our time will come back around one day.
24
After opening my fridge and grabbing a beer, I check my watch for like the tenth time in the past hour and wonder where the hell Gabby is. I haven’t seen her since that unbelievably sweet moment this morning when she came over to bring donuts and snuggle with me for just a bit. Of course, I wanted to do more than just snuggle but I have a dick between my legs, so sue me.
Still… it was a side of Gabby that I very much liked seeing. The woman who used to be the girl that crushed on me, who is now very much the woman that sees this as way more than just a good time in bed. I’m not sure when I became this reflective, mushy kind of guy, but I’ll certainly blame Gabby for that.
I think today may be the first time since we’ve been together that I haven’t seen her for such a long period of time. She wasn’t at Last Call today, her crew saying she was off running errands while they worked on staining the outdoor area. I’ve tried calling her a few times, but just get her voice mail. For some reason, that just doesn’t sit right with me.
I distracted myself with packing John and Sasha off to the Raleigh airport. I hated to see John go. Sasha, not so much. While she was on good behavior for most of the visit, it
Wandering into the living room, I twist the cap off my beer and take a healthy pull. For not the first time in the last few weeks, I wonder what it would be like if Gabby moved in here with me. It was something I had thought about a lot, especially when John and Sasha were here. Mostly because their presence meant that I couldn’t have much alone time with Gabby, and it made me think of all the things we could do together once they were gone.
Yeah, I thought of all the ways and places I could f**k her in this house, but mostly, I thought of stuff that would completely have my man card revoked if anyone knew about it. I thought it would be only fair that if she cooked dinner, I would do the dishes. And I wondered if we would fight over the TV at night, knowing that if a football game were on, I would win that argument. I tried to figure out if I had enough counter space in my bathroom to hold all of a girl’s necessities, and I smiled to myself thinking that I would get to wake up every morning to her beautiful face.
Fuck, I’m not sure what I am turning into, but I’m not fighting it. No, I’m surrendering to it.
The minute I made the absolute decision to stay here, I made the decision in my mind that Gabby was the only one for me, and that there was no sense in slowing down where she was concerned. While I don’t believe the last five years without her were wasted, because let’s face it, I’ve had a pretty amazing career, I don’t want to waste another minute.
A knock at my door causes my adrenaline to spike, because I immediately know it’s Gabby, although for the life of me, I can’t figure why she doesn’t just walk in. She has a key.
Setting my beer on the coffee table, I hop the back of the couch and open the door with almost giddy excitement, man card be damned.
There she stands… golden-kissed skin, hazel eyes, and chocolate hair, framing the most beautiful face I’ve ever beheld.
“Hey baby,” I murmur as I snag her by the h*ps and pull her into to me. She steps forward, caught off guard, her hands coming up to my biceps. I bend down to touch my mouth to hers, but her head turns to the side and I end up grazing her cheekbone.
Pulling back, I look at her in curiosity because she turned away from my kiss, and now I am very much aware that she is pushing back from me. I drop my hold and she steps by me, walking into my house.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, closing the door and turning to her.
Her shoulders are tense as she walks into the living room, so I follow behind in trepidation. When she turns, her face isn’t one I recognize. It’s hard and her eyes are cold, causing my stomach to bottom out.
“I repeat. What’s wrong?” My voice sounds oddly detached and fear-tinged.
“We need to talk,” she says, her eyes firmly rooted to the carpet.
Taking three long strides around the couch, I walk right up to her, placing my hand under her chin and lifting her face to mine. “So talk, but do it while you look me in the eye. ”
Her eyes fill with sadness for a moment, a light sheen of moisture coating the green-gold brilliance. It kills me to see that look and I start to wrap my arms around her, but she’s having none of it. It happens so quickly, I’m sure maybe I even imagined it, but the sadness is gone and replaced by a hard glint as she steps away.
“We’re over,” she says.
Of all the things I thought she might say, that never crossed my mind. Blinking at her hard, because surely I heard wrong, I say, “What?”
She takes a few more steps to put distance between us, coming to stand in front of the TV. Crossing her arms over her chest, she says, “We’re over. It’s done. ”