Onlyness by Santosh Jha

CHAPTER 10

  The consciousness is a stupid engineering; its mechanism is so intricate and mystically multidimensional that it keeps people in constant state of flux; engendering layers of realisms, not amenable for linear understanding of individuals. The elements of milieus outside body-mind mechanisms keep interacting with disposition of consciousness within. This action-reaction cyclicality engenders, which mind stores as intangible experiences and memories in the subconscious. The totality and wholeness of it is a person’s culture, which sets the boundaries of his thought-action-behavior domain. As the milieus change in the course of life’s randomized journeys, the patterns of its interactions with disposition alters synchronically. This energizes the incessant cyclicality of learning and unlearning, which keeps an individual’s overall culture of consciousness in continuous flux. This flux has the energy of creation and destruction, making and unmaking going in an intertwined way.

  In the last ten days, so much has changed drastically in Melissa’s outer milieus. Her inner disposition has also undergone the altered states of consciousnesses. Her culture of consciousness is in a state of continuous and intense flux. The learning she is undergoing has cyclically energized a very emphatic process of unlearning. The empress in flux, is in the unsettled domain of making and unmaking. It is only very natural for Melissa that she has unconsciously picked up one common thread in all these processes and stick to it for her poise and wellness. It is Shiv, which is the common factor in all changes in her life, be it the change in her milieus or in her disposition. He is always the catalyst in her consciousness of cultural flux she has landed herself. Unconsciously, she has started to cling to him. She feels poised and in perfect wellness, hugging the fragrance of Shiv and his persona, which keeps muffling her deep consciousness.

  Melissa, as Shiv says, is innocent, not intelligently ingenious to decipher elemental realisms of life. She is definitely new to the idea of the male element of nature being the initiator of nurturance and not provision. The males often accept and even pride themselves in donning the role of a provider, even when their essential nature has to be of nurturer. Genetically too, the male DNA initiates the process of nurturance of body, which the female DNA goes on to make. Melissa has been in a culture of male element being associated with passion and provision. With Shiv, she is beginning to unlearn it and accept Shiv’s nature of compassion and nurturance. The female elements unconsciously take to creation when the male elements initiate the process and ensure a milieu of nurturance and compassion. Melissa has already triggered of the engendering of creation of something, which comes natural to a woman, when the elemental nurturance of man sets up the milieu for her artistry.

  Oblivious of her inner and subconscious state, Shiv is moving ahead with his plan, which the chief conspirator has assigned him. He needs to wrap it up fast. Shiv takes Melissa to the jungle early morning and this time, he takes her to the other side of the cliff, where the river stream flows calmly over almost a flat slope, before falling from the cliff to form a waterfall. It is calm there. Melissa walks idly, following Shiv and when he walks a distance ahead, she runs like a kid and grabs his arms.

  “Shiv, I was thinking, if I have to gift you something, I cannot, because I really don’t know, what you like most. If you tell me, about your likes and dislikes, it shall be easy for me.”

  Shiv does not respond. He does not even look at her. He stops, looks around and finally decides to sit at a place, which is close to river stream and opens to stretched landscape. He gestures to Melissa to sit in front of him. As she sits close to him, he picks up a little pebble and puts it in her hands.

  “Melissa, I wish to have a gift from you, which is most precious for me but I know, you shall give it to me only when you join my consciousness to instill the same value and worth to it, which I see in it. The pebble in your hand was a huge boulder, placed on the mountaintop, thousands of years back. The melting glacier brought it on the course of the river, which corroded it for thousands of years. The boulder has now transformed into a pebble and thousands of years from now, it shall drift down with the river flow and finally turn into sand particle. However, despite its journey from the mountaintop to the doors of the sea, it shall retain its core and essential character. The melting, the corrosion, the drift and metamorphosis of life-living cyclicality are nature’s inevitable and randomized processes, which every entity has to go through. They all shape and design differentiated destinies for different entities. However, lucky and blessed are those, who retain their character in the entirety of the cosmic causality. If you think it right and feel what I feel, you can give this pebble as the most precious gift to me with your innocent and honest blessings that I could be like this pebble and retain my character, in all the undulations of life, till I dissolve into the doorstep of death. A woman is a mother and a mother’s blessing always has certain fruition for her child.”

  “Shiv, this is not fair. I cannot agree to it. I want this gift from you. I need it more than you. You have to take this pebble back in your hand and then give it to me as the most precious gift, with lots and lots of your blessings; rather all your blessings to me. A man is also a father and a father’s blessing always has certain fruition for his daughter. I know that. My dad surely blessed me and that is why, I am here and now I am going to receive this most precious gift of my life. You too said it to me in Rishikesh ashram that all diamonds naturally belong to women. This is my diamond and they belong to me. Do I remind you that I am an empress and you are a yogi? Diamonds always belong to empresses. Give it to me!”

  Shiv cannot resist a smile. He takes the pebble from her hand, dips it in the river water, wraps it in a fresh leaf and gives it back to her. She clutches it in her palm.

  “Melissa, put the pebble back in the river, then only it shall complete its destined journey.”

  “But this is my diamond, you gave it to me! It belongs to me now, the river anyway has plenty of them. Shiv, this is not fair!”

  Shiv knows how to best handle her innocent pranks. He rises, takes her hands in his, affectionately pulls her up and tenderly drags her towards the river. In the river water, he gestures her to drop the pebble. She places the pebble carefully along a larger stone and gestures to Shiv that she would pick it back, when she would come alone here. Shiv smiles and pulls her back to where they seated before.

  “Melissa, last night, you had asked a question and now you yourself have answered it. You wanted to know, how this super consciousness within, enables the self to decide the matrix of all decision-making of action-behavior, independent of the innate instincts and subconscious mind. How one attains this facility of being the conscious decider of what should ideally present oneself with his or her decision-matrix at any point of time in life. You have done it right now.”

  “No no. I have not done anything. I was not even onto the question, how can I answer it?”

  “You have Melissa. I explain it to you. You accepted a pebble as diamond; inspired a worth and utility of value of a diamond in a useless pebble, and you felt joy about its possession. And then you agreed to renouncing it for a larger joy. This way, your super conscious prevailed over your instinctive and cultured self, engendered a novel matrix of a decision-making, independent of and beyond your intelligence, disposition and instinctive nature, which otherwise would never ever accept the utility of a pebble at par with a diamond. Within your consciousness, there is a culture, a nature and innate judgment mechanism, which usually assigns values and decides the utility of an entity. They would usually have decided that a pebble is worthless and a diamond is precious. However, your super consciousness overruled all fixed parameters of your conscious and subconscious minds and came forward as the conscious decider of what should ideally present you with your decision-matrix at this point of time in life. Your super consciousness aligned with continuous and immortal intangible entity, renouncing the mortal value and utility of the tangible matter. This is something available to humans only. This facility is your su
per conscious mind. This facility is essentially a function of imagination, which is duly supported by memories of experiences we have. Early humans succeeded in evolving fast and better by using their power of imagination to win over all obstacles. We have the facility to imagine ourselves out of the body and even out of the milieu to intangibly position ourselves in a situation, which is virtual and then weave possibilities to turn this virtual realism into a largely realistic one. In Indian spiritual philosophy, the ancestors prescribed a mechanism to be in exalted state of this super consciousness. It is essentially, a patterned way to make your intangible power of imagination highly focused, pure and objectively holistic. Indian philosophy stresses on purity and objectivity of the super consciousness as this power is open to use and misuse. They empirically observed that this facility is very powerful and can be used for evil mechanisms. Mythologies all over the world have stories of powerful evil forces, which also used this same facility of imaginations for their devilish attainments. Even today, the world over, the trouble is the same. The power of imagination of humanity is enhancing fast but unfortunately, many of the creations of the super consciousness are drifting into evil practices.”

  “Shiv, this seems a complex notion. I shall need simple explanations.”

  “Melissa, I try my best to make it all simple, though it is somehow a complex idea as it involves multidimensional factors. This is not explainable in scientific language and terms as science is still not in the stage of finality. What I explain to you are in terms of spiritual philosophy, which is at the core of ancient Indian worldview. Science also explains the same mechanisms but uses different terms and frameworks. The Indian spiritual philosophy maintains that there is a continuous and complex interaction always going on between nature and humans. It defines nature as drishya, something, which is seen and observed. It constitutes of two parts – the first being the tangible factors in external environment, which includes the contemporary culture, in which a human being lives. The second part is the intangible factors of body’s intrinsic nature or disposition. This intrinsic disposition has three attributes – sato gun (receptive mode), rajo gun (action mode) and tamo gun (inertia mode). These three attributes are simultaneously present in all humans, even while different people may have different mix of the three attributes. Even science says, people can be identified as of a particular shade of consciousness, depending on amount and intensity the three attributes of reception, action and inertia in a person. One single person can be in different shade of consciousness, at different stages of life, as there are changes taking in the quotient of the three attributes. The society or larger physical milieu, we live in, also has these three attributes of reception, action and inertia. It is self-evident that in a small and simple society, where material pursuits are very limited and small population naturally has larger proximity and intimacy between them, the predominant attribute of the milieu shall be reception. This shall make the society and its people in larger internal wellness but external discomfort. However, in the unmanageably large and complex societies, we live today, where there is a deluge of material pursuits to attain, the predominant attribute of milieu shall be action and in many societies, where physical comfort and personal attainments have become high, the predominant attribute shall be inertia. It is only natural and self-evident that such later societies shall have more conflicts, larger competitiveness, greater violence and less tolerance and stability but better external comforts. This is so self-evident for all of us. Every attribute comes with an associated package of societal culture and individual behavior-action. A person living in a society where reception is predominant attribute shall behave differently than a person living in the society where predominant attribute is action or inertia. It is empirically observable to all that the nature or drishya is a realism, which is in continuous change as the attributes and elements constituting it are mutually contradictory in nature. Modern psychology too accepts this. A person, who has a dominant consciousness of action, may eventually realize its futility and shall accept the utility of reception mode. The vice-versa is also possible. The same is true with societies. In contemporary American society, the predominant attribute is action, even while large part of it has inertia, because of larger availability of comforts. It is only natural that many there are fed up with existing milieu and look for a life in reception mode. Indian society has largely been in the dominant attribute of reception. However, as material well-being is rising, it is going the old American way and now attributes of action and inertia are taking over. This change is cyclic with newer elements being introduced in every new cycle.”

  “Shiv, it is gradually becoming clear to me as why we all behave in a way, which a dominant culture prescribes to us. Societal personality becomes an overriding consciousness for most of us. The popular benchmarks become a rule for us. Probably, this is why dad always asked me to rise above the populism and be my own decision-maker.”

  “Now, we come to another important aspect. There is a realism, which is called drishta, the consciousness, which sees and observes that intelligence of a person, which his or her current consciousness lands him or her in. The consciousness has been referred to as the observer of human intelligence, which decides the matrix for any decision of life, in the larger realism of drishya (nature and culture). The Indian spiritual philosophy observes that the drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness) are continuously interacting with each other in a cyclic causality, in which, each affects other and in turn gets affected. The randomly multidimensional juxtaposition of drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness) engender different cyclical expressions of disposition. These cyclical expressions are infinite and all of them lead an individual to pains and troubles. This is because, as we talked earlier; these expressions link the self with discontinuous and immortal elements of drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness). The interaction of drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness) elements leads an individual to both gratification as well as renunciation. The Indian spiritual philosophy maintains that this cycle of gratification and renunciation is such a naturally intense and powerful realism that most people on earth remain attracted to it and become a part of the cyclic drift.”

  “And how to come out of this cyclic causality of gratification and renunciation? How this super consciousness becomes a reality, which I think you say, takes one away and aloof from this powerful drift?”

  “Melissa, this is the difficult part of the entire idea of consciousness. This is probably an idea, which is tough for the consciousness to imagine. The practice of it is far more difficult. The yoga philosophy says, there is a state of super consciousness, which is called ‘kaivalya’. This Sanskrit word has almost no parallel word in modern languages. We can say, it literally means a state of singleness, a conscious position of only-ness. For us, it is difficult to understand its true meaning as since long; we have been accustomed to collective and mutual existence and awareness of self. There is so much of contemporary culture within our conscious and subconscious minds. We are so used to our consciousness in complete collaboration and concomitance with our external as well as internal environments that for us, an idea in the domain of total and perfect singleness and only-ness is beyond even imagination. The idea, as elaborated by Indian spiritual philosophy enshrines that super consciousness is a state of being, where there is complete and perfect lack of any connection, causality and coexistence between the drishta and drishya. The subject, the consciousness, which observes the nature and the decision-making matrices of life, becomes completely free and detached from the causality and utility of external as well as internal milieus and nature. This super consciousness is a state of singleness and only-ness – the kaivalya state of consciousness. The idea is; in both the consciousnesses of gratification as well as renunciation, if there is a causality and utility of the subject with object, the consciousness acquires the element of ego and sense of self, as distinct and different from others. This ego has to go in the state of
super consciousness, as this element of sense of self is actually a mortal and discontinuous element. Kaivalya is a state of consciousness, which is devoid of ego and sense of self as this state is the true element of immortality and continuity. The singleness and only-ness has only a singular element of continuity and immortality. This sense of self, needs to go away then only one can truly attain the state of kaivalya, the state of singleness and only-ness. This is very tough. There have been people on earth, who attained greatness and even understood the utility of it all. They became saints and helped the masses. Still, they could not devoid themselves of the sense of self, and this made them create rifts between different persons. The evil, which all cultures portray in human beings is this sense of self, which remains attached to egoistic attitudes. Kaivalya is possible only when this sense of self withers completely. Even greats are affected by the attributes of inertia and they stop practicing when they attain greatness. This dooms them and humanity. Kaivalya needs to be practiced lifelong. This is the state, in yogic philosophy, where jeevatma (human soul) unites with parmatma (cosmic soul). This is what they called yoga, the union. The different asanas are different ways to discipline your body and consciousness to arrive at the state of kaivalya. This is also something, the spiritual philosophy of Geeta, the chief holy book of Hinduism says. Somehow, the modern concepts of psychosynthesis and psychoenergetics also work around the similar ideas.”

  “Shiv, you yourself say this and I too can realize that this attainment of super consciousness of kaivalya is truly very difficult. I understand that innate nature of we all are so oscillating and in a state of constant flux, it is really tough to discipline the consciousness to lift it to such heights. If only there could be a simple way to get there!”

  “Melissa, you forget that you are an empress. An empress has everything at her wish and command. If she wants something, she shall have it. If you want the simple way to it all, you can have it. Why do you think there is a very stupid yogi with you here?”

  “Oh God! How true! I am an empress. Shiv, you are such an amazing friend. Had I found you earlier in my life, I would not have been into these troubles. You always bail me out, even before troubles start to trickle in. You just tell me simple steps at arriving at this kaivalya state of consciousness. I shall follow them as you would say.”

  “Empress, there is a price to it. You have to promise me that after I tell you the simple way, and when we shall go back to your room, there is something waiting for you there, which you shall accept with a consciousness, which we are talking about.”

  “Promise Shiv. I promise I shall do what you say.”

  “There is a cardinal rule to the success of every enterprise of life. At the start, every enterprise looks huge and tough. Human mind, as we discussed, is not good at seeing far ahead. Therefore, it is always advised to take small steps towards achievement of part of the enterprise and set aim for smaller goals. Your innocence and honesty is your best preparations to attain your goals. The simple idea is; it is your imagination, which makes you a winner, when you have to make any important decision in life. This imagination puts you above and aloof from the immediate milieus, culture and body-mind instincts, which often either blur your judgment or keep you in a flux. Worse, it makes you drift with it, beyond your conscious control. You have to use your power of conscious imagination to accept your being and self as someone, not only your body, not only your mind, not only your milieus and not even the interaction between them. You have to accept it as some super consciousness, which observes each of your thought-action-behavior matrices from a position above and aloof from all the dimensions of your consciousness and being. This enables you to hold every emotion, instinct and ideas back for a while, sit over them with an objective and independent super consciousness. As this super consciousness is a receptive mode facility, you shall be endowed with a power to observe and control all your instinctive and culturally induced thought-action-behavior of action-reaction mode. As you keep practicing to remain in this super consciousness self, you shall finally attain the kaivalya realism. Then, this super consciousness shall become you single and only consciousness. This is the stage where, you become the conscious decider of what should ideally present yourself with your decision-matrix at any point of time in your life. This small step you have already experienced when you accepted the gift of pebble as the most precious thing of your life. You used the power of imagination to instill a value and utility in an entity, which otherwise, from the point existing worldview has none. This is a sure facility for personalizing your own wellness and making them independent of milieus, culture and instincts. Anything you wish to attain in life, in societal milieu, which cultural benchmarks label as worthy, you shall decisively find yourself in competition and conflict with so many others, who want the same attainment and that too exclusively. The success of the enterprise shall only partly depend on your efforts and merits as there shall always be many factors in milieu and people, which shall be equally decisive. That is why success in our societies are exception, not a rule. However, when you wish to attain something, which is possible only just by your simple and innocent resolve, you shall be always successful. Like your resolve to find utility and worth in a pebble is only your own personal attainment. This enterprise is successful any number of times you do it. Moreover, the worth you have created in a pebble shall always remain with you as this is an intangible utility, nobody can take away from you, unlike a real diamond. The ancient philosophies tell us to align ourselves only with these intangibles as utility because; our own consciousness has worth only as intangible. Our consciousness is intangible and continuous and that is why, it shall find lasting and continuous wellness only in intangible elements. That is why, the philosophy prescribes, true and lasting relationship can happen only between similar and generic elements.

  “So, my power of imagination is my most precious endowment?”

  “It is Melissa but this power has to be protected against misuse. This is best ensured when you have innocence and honesty of character, which you already have. You need to be cautious that you keep yourself in milieus, both internal and external, which are conducive to protecting and prolonging your innocence and honesty. If not, then this power of imagination shall always be involved with your ego and sense of self, which shall then lead you away from objectivity of imagination. The kaivalya state shall be unavailable, as this sense of self shall put you in the groove of subjectivity, making you trapped in the cyclic causality of action-reaction. It is equally important that the body-mind entity remains ensconced in a conducive internal and external environment. This is crucial initially. Once you have attained the kaivalya state, you can live in any milieu, as you would then rise above all to be affected by them. Initially, you have to keep away from contemporary milieus and culture of gratification and action-reaction mode.”

  “Hmmm…! Shiv, tell me, if you have to buy this land, where we are sitting right now, whom you have to knock to? I want this whole land to build a house here.”

  Shiv smiles but says nothing. He rises, takes her hand and it is a repeat show. She is unwilling to move and Shiv has to pull her affectionately and tenderly all the way to her room, where he has to unravel to her the next stage of the plan, his chief conspirator has designed.

  **

 
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