Out of the Dark by Quinn Loftis
Every now and then he would hear conversations along with the images. He saw Jennifer on a plane staring daggers at him. Then on a bar, beautiful, her hair fllying behind her while she danced; in a gym doing that sexy dance with Crina and Marianna; in a garden, they are standing in a gazebo, he tells her he wants her as they sit on a swing, then they're standing and he has his hands on her hips, holding her to him.
He saw their first kiss, remembered being angry – Jennifer had been touched intimately by another – then he marked her. Jennifer pulled him to her and kissed him fiercely. He felt the emotions of that moment rush over him, the lust, the love, the utter joy at having her in his arms.
He continued to kneel on the floor next her bed, grasping the side for support as more and more memories flooded his mind. The memories were only half of it – the emotions were what wracked his body. His breathing was labored and his heart felt like it was going stop at any second.
He didn't know how long he knelt there with his eyes closed. But finally it was over and he was in the present, in a house beyond the veil, his mate weak, dying, hurt by his incompassionate words. The curse was broken.
Decebel looked up at Jen's face. Her eyes were still closed. Unable to stop himself, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her chin. He just wanted to hold her, to be close to her.
His breath stopped when her eyes opened – they looked like beautiful blue orbs.
Jen saw it the minute she looked into his amber eyes. The recognition.
"You remember," she whispered softly, afraid to hope.
Decebel nodded. "Every. Precious. Second." His voice was thick with emotion as his eyes began to glow.
Jen tried so hard not to, but it was useless. It started with her body beginning to shudder, she couldn't control it. Her hands shook as she lifted them to cover her face and her lips trembled as a sob escaped, and pain, joy, fear, anger, and love stronger than anything she had ever known beat into her already-broken body. The tears that filled her eyes and flowed down her cheeks soaked her shirt and the blankets.
She felt Decebel's arms around her as he picked her up and put her in his lap, taking her place in the bed. He whispered her name over and over. He professed his love, he spoke in a mixture of English and Romanian, and every word made her cry harder. This time when he brushed her hair from her face, it was with familiarity. He held her and touched her like he knew her. That thought seemed to push her over another ledge she didn't see coming. Jen didn't think about the pain as she pressed closer to Decebel. If she could have climbed into his skin she would have. She buried her face in his neck, knowing she was getting him wet, but needing to smell him and feel his skin, needing his warmth to seep into her body.
Jen had no idea how long she cried. She only knew that Decebel never stopped rubbing her back or her hair. He never stopped talking to her, reassuring her. He told her about seeing her for the first time, their first kiss, the moment he knew he loved her. It was like he was trying to convince her that he remembered. He didn't have to, she could feel it.
She finally pulled back enough that she could look at his face. He reached up and wiped the tears from her cheeks as they finally abated. He smiled tentatively. Jen figured he was probably afraid she would throw him out again, but she didn't think she could handle being away from him any longer.
"I love you," he whispered to her.
"I've missed you," Jen whispered back.
Decebel pressed his forehead to hers as he listened to both of them breathe. Jen closed her eyes, basking in the closeness and, when she felt his lips against hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tighter. She was so very weak, but nothing could stop her from having this kiss.
Decebel pulled back, knowing he needed to be gentle with his mate. Though the curse was broken, the bond still wasn't restored. He couldn't feel her in his mind nor could he look into hers. She was still dying. He ran his thumb gently across her lips as he looked at her.
She was beautiful, she was his.
"Baby, you need more of my blood."
Jen nodded. "I know."
"The bond won't be restored until we complete the Blood Rites." Decebel said these words very carefully. The last time they had spoken about the Blood Rites he had acted like an ass and was worried bringing it up might anger her again. He didn't want her to be angry with him. She might not let him hold her if she was angry and at the moment there was no way he could let go.
Much to his relief she smiled, but her words made him frown. "Let's not talk about the Blood Rites right now, okay?"
Decebel's brow furrowed, but, deciding that she didn't need to exert anymore energy, he let it go…for now.
"Are you going to bite your wrist for me again?" she asked him softly, and he could tell that now that she was aware of what was going to happen she was actually embarrassed.
"No," he answered simply and Jen's eyes widened as Decebel pulled his shirt away from his neck and shoulder. She saw one of his claws lengthen on his hand and watched in fascination as he made a deep cut across the area where his shoulder and neck met.
"This is how a female takes from her mate." Decebel gently guided Jen's face to his neck and she could tell he was holding his breath, waiting for her to put her mouth on him.
Jacque wasn't lying when she said this blood-taking stuff was intimate, she thought as she lowered her mouth to his skin. She was fully clothed, not touching him or being touched in any intimate way, yet she felt naked and vulnerable. She heard a rumble and felt it in Decebel's chest as her lips covered the gash and she began to swallow his healing blood. She closed her eyes as the liquid she expected to be metallic – but was actually sweet – trailed down her throat.
Decebel knew she had taken enough, but in his selfishness he didn't pull her back. There was nothing more intoxicating to a male than providing for his mate. And Decebel was providing her with life – his blood was keeping her here with him. He pulled her close with a final squeeze and then reluctantly whispered to her, "It's enough, baby. You can stop."
Decebel smiled when he heard her growl. Stubborn woman. She finally pulled her mouth away and Decebel covered the gash by pulling his shirt back over it and pressing on it. It would close up in a matter a minutes. He noticed that Jennifer didn't look up at him but instead was looking at her hands in her lap. He placed his fingers under her chin and gently lifted it. Her cheeks were bright pink.
"Is my mate blushing? Jennifer Adams blushes?" Decebel teased.
"Well, bloody hell, Dec, you didn't tell me it was going to be like that."
"Like what?" He was taunting her now, wanting to see some life restored in her – even if only for a little while.
"You know," she muttered petulantly.
"I don't, love. You're the first to ever do that to me. How would I know?"
Jennifer glared at him and he smiled as he lifted a brow at her.
"It was hot,” she confessed forcefully. “I'm here dying, and doing that," she pointed to his neck, "turned me on. I mean, seriously, if that can arouse a dying chick, she should be warned."
Decebel tried to hold Jennifer still as he laughed at her words. The joy and relief of having her back, of knowing her and knowing the love he felt for her, was indescribable.
"I'm sorry that I didn't warn you that taking my blood in that manner would -" Decebel cleared his throat before he continued but Jen beat him to it.
"Make me all hot and bothered?"
Decebel leaned forward and kissed her gently. "Don't be sore with me, love. Next time I'll warn you."
Jen tried not to laugh because she knew it was going to hurt like hell. And it did. She stiffened as she tried to swallow the pain. Decebel stood up with her in his arms and placed her back on the bed. He tucked the covers in around her, acting very much the role of a mother hen. Jen watched him in amusement as he felt her forehead. Like he would know what to feel for, she snorted to herself.
As
"Where are you going?" Her words rushed out, sounding way more desperate than Jen would ever admit to feeling.
Decebel turned around and saw the fear in Jen's eyes. He came right back to her side.
"I'm not leaving – I'm not letting you out of my sight. I'm going to get Vasile so we can do the Bonding and Blood Rites."
Jen's eyes widened and she squeaked, "Now?"
"Yes, Jennifer, now. There is no reason for you to lay here sick when I can make you well. So," Decebel stood up to his full height and clapped his hands together once and rubbed them, "we are going to remedy this little problem."
Jen was beginning to panic. She needed to talk to Jacque and Sally before Decebel was able to get Vasile to go through with this.
"Wait, Dec. Can I talk to my two besties before we do this? First I need to tell them that you remember me. That is sort of important. And, I mean, it is kind of like a wedding, ya know? I need to have my girl time before I tie the knot, so to speak." Jen knew that was a weak argument and, judging by the raised brow on Decebel's delectable face, he was not buying it.
"I will tell them to come in, but the door remains open so that I can see you."
Even though Jen knew it was going to hurt she had to roll her eyes at her mate's words. "Here we go with that crap again. Would you like to get me a bell for my collar so you can know when I move?"
Decebel grinned as he opened the door. "That's a good idea, baby, thank you for the suggestion. See? I knew we would make a great team."
Jen growled – well, as much of a growl as she could muster with the pain – and muttered under her breath, "You'll be thinking great team when I'm wrapping the collar around your -"
"What was that, love?" Decebel was standing just outside the door with Jacque and Sally staring at her with knowing smiles.
"I said we will – are..." Jen was scrambling for words and finally just settled for, "Go team?"
Jacque and Sally were now laughing while Decebel stared at her through knowing eyes and tapped his ears, making it clear he could hear her muttering just fine. Jen made a most unlady-like gesture.
It only caused Sally and Jacque to laugh harder when Decebel responded with, "That'll have to wait until you're healed, baby. One thing at a time."
Jen's scowl deepened and she finally gave up sparring with her mate and glared at her two best friends. "You two hyenas get your giggling asses in here and shut up."
Jacque and Sally left the door open – as instructed by Decebel, of course – as they walked toward Jen's bed.
"I need to talk to you two," Jen whispered.
"That's why we came in," Jacque also whispered.
"Why are we whispering?" Sally added.
"Because you can bet your gypsy behind that eagle ears out there is listening to every sound I make. So bring yourselves closer, this is important."
"First, you need to know that Decebel got his memories back."
"WHAT?" Jacque sort of whisper-hollered.
"How?" Sally asked in a louder voice.
"Shhh.” Jen batted her hand at them. “He loves me," she said in a 'duh' sort of tone.
"Just like that? He went from 'we will make the best of it' to 'now I love you'?"
"I don't really know how it happened, I was asleep. But when I woke up he was sitting there staring at me like I was the best thing since sliced bread. And I knew. I knew he recognized me. I don't know if I have ever been so relieved in my life."
"I'm so happy for you, Jen. You've been through hell and I can't imagine what it would be like for your mate to not know you." Jacque said soberly.
"Well, it was crap, that's for sure. But I have more important things to discuss."
"More important than Decebel loving you?" Sally looked incredulous.
Sally and Jacque both huddled close to Jen, attempting to keep from touching her, but at that moment Jen didn't care about pain – she needed her friends' support in this. Jen grabbed both their wrists and pulled them even closer.
"I've made a decision," Jen whispered to her two best friends.
Jacque and Sally held very still as they waited for Jen to continue. They could see on her face that this decision left a very rotten taste in her mouth.
"This sounds perilously close to a declaration we're going to think is impetuous and idiotic," Sally whispered roughly, raising an eyebrow.
Jen shushed her as she rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. Once you guys hear my reasons I think you'll understand."
"That right there tells me we are wholeheartedly gonna think you're full of shit," Jacque growled as softly as she could.
Jen didn't realize she was fumbling with the blanket in her hands until Sally laid her hand over them, stilling them. She looked up and clenched her jaw, her eyes narrowed, and though she was very weak, she tried to come across as firm and confident. Based on their looks she wasn't fooling them. Deciding there was nothing more she could do to show them she meant business, she spoke softly, but firmly.
"I'm not going to complete the mate bond and I'm not doing the Blood Rites."
Jacque and Sally, who had been leaning forward in order to hear her, stood up abruptly, as if a strong wind had forced them back. Both girls' mouths fell open. Jen waited and waited...and waited some more. Just when she thought they'd both had aneurysms, Jacque broke the silence by laughing hysterically.
"Shhh." Jen waved her hands in the air trying to get Jacque to shut up. "Shut your pie hole, wolf princess.”
Sally looked from Jacque to Jen and then joined in. Both girls laughed until they had tears streaming down their cheeks. Jen finally gave up trying to shut them up and just waited until they regained their composure.
"Oh, man," Jacque said, wiping the wetness from her face. "Good times, Jen. Good times."
"Why the hell were you two laughing at me like a third nipple had sprouted on my forehead?"
Jacque snorted. "That's pretty funny, too, but the first thing was classic."
Jen waited for an explanation.
This time Jacque didn't whisper. "If you think the man who spent the past few weeks going through hell is going to let you get away so easily, you have not been paying attention." Jacque pursed her lips. "After finding out you were dying and beyond his reach; after going against his very nature and protecting the pack before his mate; after spending those weeks with most of his life forgotten, his mate forgotten, therefore half of his soul missing; after all that, you really think he's just going to smile, pat you on the back, and say 'have a nice life, Jen'?"
Jen started to protest but Sally held a hand up to stop her, and it was she that continued the rant Jacque had started. "Through the bond, he felt you – a stranger to him, nevertheless he was undeniably drawn to you. He felt you slipping away and, even though he didn't understand what you were to him, he knew that he would die before he let you pass from this world to the next. I watched as he saw Costin carrying you through the forest. I watched as he was prepared to kill anyone who came near you. He helped me do CPR on you, he cleaned you, clothed you, and never left your side. He fed you his blood, he sang to you, he brushed your hair, he talked to you, and Decebel – that huge, brooding, emotionless brute – as he watched you lay on that very floor, " Sally pointed to where Jen had lain dead, "lifeless, he still didn't give up. Crying, he refused to let you go. He told you he would not lose you and he didn't. So if you think after all that he's just going to take this lying down, then you are making that hair of yours proud, as you more than fulfill the role of the dumbass blonde."
Jen was shaking her head from side to side as a tear slipped down her cheek.
"If we bond and something happens to me, he will die." Jen's voice was soft, broken. "I can't handle the idea of something happening to him because of me. I still want to be with him, but I don't want his soul bound to mine. I won't be responsible for his death."
"Normally, Jen, I would bet on you any day of the week. But this time," Jacq
Jen cringed as she felt a sharp pain in her heart. Not a physical pain, exactly, but every bit as brutal.
All three girls looked at the doorway when they heard a low growl. Decebel stood there, his huge shoulders blocking the entire opening. His eyes were glowing, his breathing was labored, and he looked like he had murder on his mind.
Jacque looked from Jen to Decebel and a wicked grin spread across her face.
"Sally, get me some popcorn. This is payback for all the times Jen stuck her nose in my business with my mate." Jacque's grin was downright feral.
Jen dropped her head. It was then that Jacque realized just how much of a toll this decision had taken on her friend.
"It goes against nature, Jen. You both will suffer." Jacque ran her hand down Jen's blonde hair as she looked into her blue eyes. "He was created for you. Let him love you. Let him take care of you. If you deny the bond it will rip your heart in two."
"But he will live." Though the look in Jen's eyes showed her already-breaking heart, Jen's voice was full of steel, showing just how dead-set she was on her decision.
"We love you," Sally told her as she grabbed Jacque's hand and pulled her toward the door.
As they waited for Decebel to let them pass, he turned to look at Sally and Jacque, who both cringed under his glare.
"Congrats on remembering your mate, Dec," Jacque tossed out as she squeezed past the thoroughly pissed-off wolf.
"We were just leaving," Sally squeaked.
Decebel turned back to Jennifer, not bothering to acknowledge their words. He stepped aside and then the door shut and silence descended. After a short pause, he walked toward his mate. The need to touch her nearly overwhelmed him, making his wolf edgy.
He pulled a chair close to her bed. He laid his forearms on the comforter and gently placed his hands on her thigh. At first he didn't speak. He just stared at her with those glowing amber eyes. Jen began to fidget under his scrutiny. She looked down at his large hands on her leg, hands capable of crushing bone, but that were always so gently with her.
"Look at me, Jennifer." His voice was gentle but his words were a command.