Phoenix by S. F. Said
He could see the Dark Matter connections holding it together: those swirling lines of silver light, like the view inside the astrolabe.
Except now . . . those lines of silver light were coming from him. They were streaming out from the centre of his being, radiating in every direction, illuminating the galaxy, spiralling to infinity.
Space and time were all one to him now. He could see past, present and future: all at once, all together.
And those who had died, and those he had lost, and those he’d been forced to leave behind: he was connected to them still.
For everyone was connected. Everywhere was connected. Everything was connected.
This was who he was now, and where he was meant to be.
He had returned to the sky, as Gala had foreseen. For to be the star, he could be the boy no longer.
But what she hadn’t said was how it would feel to become all that he could be.
He’d felt so homesick for so long. Now at last he was home.
He was flying high and free, higher than he’d ever been. Open space stretched out ahead of him, unboundaried: the living sky.
He was going places he’d never seen, never even dreamed of seeing. And he was part of it; he was part of everything; and it was part of him.
He danced, in his new place in the sky. He was up, and away, and free.
And they were all around him, as they’d always been. They welcomed him back with joyful waves of silver sound.
He was singing, smiling, laughing as he danced among the stars.
I am alive, he sang.
I am alive. I am home. And I am free.
And I am free.
And I am free.
Chapter Forty
Down below the mountainside, Humans and Axxa alike were holding each other’s hands, sheltering from the broken sky, preparing for the end.
Bixa Quicksilver thought she heard something.
A small, soft, silvery sound, like the chime of a faraway bell.
The sound grew. It surged and swelled. Bixa felt her blood surge with it, felt her head lighten and her fears fall away from her shoulders.
For it was a song. A song of freedom, a song of love. She heard this song in her heart – as clear and true and near as the thoughts in her own head.
She looked up, and saw that the rip in the sky was healed, no longer torn. The crack in space was sealed up. The black hole was gone. Reality was restored.
And in her heart, the song was still growing. It was like the music of life, endlessly renewing itself. Like an ember of light in the dark; a spark of silver in the black.
That was the song she heard. And as she realized that she was hearing a star, her star, singing in her heart – she came into her power at last.
‘You?’ she yelled up at the new star that blazed bright and beautiful where the black hole had been. ‘It was you all along?’ Her heart filled with feelings she didn’t have names for. And then her voice rang out, bringing the truth to everyone. ‘He did it!’ she cried, eyes shining like starlight. ‘Lucky saved us all!’
Far in the distance, the Spacewall flickered out, and was gone. The galaxy was open and free again. The War was over. The peace had just begun.
The new Startalker took the needles from her hair, one by one, and let them fall. She didn’t need them any more.
And all around her, the mountain shone as a new day dawned. A new morning.
A new sun was shining down on them.
A new star was born.
Acknowledgements
This book took almost seven years to write. Like Lucky, I couldn’t have done it alone, and there are many people I would like to thank.
My agents – Celia Catchpole, James Catchpole and Val Hoskins – supported me every step of the way, in every way that I needed, from the very earliest drafts. My publisher, David Fickling, never stopped believing in this book, or helping me make it the best book it could be. I owe huge thanks to him, as well as to Bella Pearson, Tom Fickling and Sophie Nelson for their invaluable editorial contributions, and to Hannah Featherstone, Ness Wood and Tilda Johnson for their parts in bringing it into being. I am also enormously grateful to Philippa Dickinson and the team at Random House Children’s Publishers for all their support over the years. I would particularly like to thank Helen Randles, Clare Hall-Craggs, Barry O’Donovan, Lauren Bennett, Amy Dolman and Jessica Williams for their help in launching this book, and all the Random House sales and marketing teams for their support and enthusiasm.
Once again, Dave McKean transformed my work with his amazing illustrations. I asked him to imagine things that are unimaginable, to depict things that are impossible – and somehow, he succeeded, producing art that takes my breath away, and gives me the sense of awe and wonder I always hoped my story would have. He also gave me vital thoughts on the penultimate draft. There’s not enough chocolate in the world to repay what I owe him!
I was fortunate to have many wonderful readers commenting on various drafts, offering ideas and feedback that helped to shape the book: Sophie Mayer, Andrew Killeen, Rebecca Porteous, Ali Fahmi, Toni Kearton, Emily O’Brien, Félix Lajeunesse, Alison Coles, Tom Mitchell, Freddie Poser, Asa Thomas, Helen Thomas, Katie Broderick and Mabel Baxter Dalrymple. I would also like to thank the CLPE (Campaign For Literacy In Primary Education), as well as the teachers and students I met through them, not only for allowing me to test out passages and titles, but for consistently supporting my work; and Jeff Roberts, who helped me to survive the process, and provided many important insights along the way.
Much of this book was written in libraries. I am eternally grateful to the public libraries of North London, without whose excellent facilities I could never have done my work; and to the staff of the BFI Library, whose Stephen Street premises meant more to me than I can say. Thanks also to Mal Og Mening in Reykjavik and La Tetería in Barcelona, where crucial parts of the book were written.
I owe a great debt to Sigur Rós, The Cure, British Sea Power and Godspeed You Black Emperor, whose music formed a constant soundtrack to the writing. Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’ also helped me out of many dark corners.
I would like to honour the memories of Alia Al-Askari, Zina Al-Askari, Nehleh Carol Bailey, Dania Allemi, and Elijah Kunuk, all of whom passed away during the writing of this book, all of them too soon.
My biggest thanks are due to those who supported me personally through this journey. There are too many names to list here, but I’d particularly like to thank Andrew Killeen, Nick Bradshaw and Rebekah Polding for some crucial conversations; my mother, Nahla Al-Askari, who I can never repay for introducing me to books in the first place; and my partner, Sophie Mayer, whose own writing is a constant inspiration to me. Much of this book has its origins in conversations with her, and I cannot thank her enough for her support.
This book is for Sophie and LT.
SF Said, London, 2012
Thanks to Liam for pretending to be Lucky.
This one’s for you.
Dave McKean, Kent, 2013
About the Author and Illustrator
SF Said’s first book, Varjak Paw (2003), won the Nestlé Smarties Prize for Children’s Literature. The sequel, The Outlaw Varjak Paw (2005), won the BBC Blue Peter Book of The Year. Phoenix is his third book. He has written widely about literature, films and the arts for the Guardian and the Daily Telegraph; and works regularly with the CLPE, promoting reading and literacy in schools.
Find out more at: www.sfsaid.com
Dave McKean has illustrated and designed many ground-breaking books and graphic novels including Varjak Paw (SF Said), The Magic of Reality (Richard Dawkins), The Savage (David Almond) and The Graveyard Book (Neil Gaiman). He wrote and illustrated Pictures That Tick and the multi-award winning Cages. He has created hundreds of CD and comic covers and directed five short and three feature films.
Find out more at: www.davemckean.com
Also by SF Said
with illustrations by Dave McKean
THE OUTLAW VARJAK PAW
PRAISE FOR VARJAK PAW AND THE OUTLAW VARJAK PAW:
‘Dazzling’ New York Times
‘Stylish, original and inventive . . . a modern children’s classic’ Jacqueline Wilson
‘Original and amazingly engrossing’ Telegraph
‘A beguiling tale that sticks in the memory. The cat’s whiskers’ The Sunday Times
‘Unputdownable’ Newsround online
You can find a copy in your local bookshop, or head over to www.randomhousechildrens.co.uk to order one.
www.sfsaid.com
www.davidmckean.com
#thesupernovaiscoming
PHOENIX
AN RHCP DIGITAL EBOOK 978 1 448 15770 9
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This ebook edition published 2013
Text copyright © SF Said, 2013
Illustrations copyright © Dave McKean, 2013
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S. F. Said, Phoenix