Plato's Cave During the Slicer Wars and other short stories by Terri Kouba
“Hello boys,” Tina said, sliding onto a lounge chair next to Ken and Matt as they sat on the rooftop balcony. “Isn’t it just a gorgeous early evening?” She laid her head back and turned her face to the sun.
Ken’s head lolled to the side. His eyes were covered by dark sunglasses. “Oh shut up,” he said quietly. His head pounded.
Tina sat up quickly. “What?” She thought for a moment. “Uh oh. Please don’t tell me I did something last night that I don’t remember.” She scrunched her eyebrows. “Or, please tell me I didn’t do something last night I don’t remember.” She shook her head. “Yeah, something like that.”
Ken swallowed thickly. “Do you remember forcing me to take vodka shots with you?”
Tina nodded. “I remember us drinking vodka shots, but not so much so the forcing part.”
“Do you remember playing what Marjeta lovingly called the woundology game?”
Tina smiled. Its brightness hurt Ken’s eyes.
“Oh yes,” she said. “You were by far the most fun partner I’ve had in years.”
Ken grimaced. “Then you remember everything you did. So shut up.” His tongue felt like a bloated potato in his mouth. He felt different but his head hurt too much for him to know why.
Tina sat back against the lounge chair and faced the sun again. She couldn’t help but smile.
“Let me guess, you got up before noon.”
She shook her head.
“You should have slept through it. It’s the only way to deal with a Vodka hangover.” She reached over and patted his hand. “Poor thing.”
Matt smiled but kept quiet.
“You missed my poppy seed kolache that I made this morning,” Marjeta said. She brought out fresh glasses of lemonade for the three of them. They were alone on the patio, except for a squirrel who chattered incessantly at them from a high bough.
Tina beamed at her. “I did not.”
Marjeta looked askance. “Did Jiri sneak you some?”
Tina smiled. “No. But I know that you saved me at least two.” She waved her fingers in expectation.
Marjeta snapped the dish towel hanging on her apron at Tina’s arm. “You know me too well, my dear.” She pulled a package out of her apron pocket and handed a kolache to each of them.
“Dinner’s in two hours. Are they joining us?” she asked Tina.
“Have you asked them?” Tina countered.
“I thought it best to leave that for you.” Marjeta said, walking away.
“Ask us what?” Ken mumbled with a mouth full of pastry. Anything to get rid of the rancid potato taste. He wasn’t sure his stomach was going to like it as much as his taste buds did.
“Tonight’s the Full Moon Kayak and we were wondering if you wanted to join us?” She sat up and faced them, wiping crumbs from her chin. She pointed to her right.
“We leave from the Golden Hinde and paddle on Tomales Bay out to the ocean, around Tomales Bluff to Bird Rock. If you’ve never paddled before, you’ll probably want to stop at Avalis Beach and not venture out into the ocean.” She brushed a stray hair away from her cheek.
“When the moon is full and the fog is nowhere to be seen, it’s an incredible evening.” She looked up at the sky. “And it looks like the fog is being kind and sitting off the coast tonight. Let’s hope it holds.” She shook her head. “When the moon comes up, it’s all big and fat and so close you can touch it. And it reflects off the water and turns all of the leaves gold and then silver.” She looked specifically at Ken. “I would really like it if you would join us tonight.” She looked at Matt. “It’s a wonder to see.”
“Are you up for it?” Ken asked Matt.
Matt snorted. “You had more vodka than I did. Are you up for it?”
Ken raked his hand down his face then looked at Tina. God she was beautiful. She practically glowed. When did that happen? She was sitting so her face was half in sun and half in shadow. The shadowed eye was gray but the blue eye in the sun was full of greens and yellows and browns. He realized he would do anything those eyes asked of him. “I guess we’re going on a midnight kayaking trip.”
“Moonlight,” she corrected. “We’ll have an early dinner and leave at eight.” She cocked her head. “But you’re right. We won’t be back until well past midnight.” She smiled and reached over to squeeze both of their forearms. “I’m really happy you’re both coming.” She jumped to her feet. “I’ll go tell Marjeta. And see if I can’t find a few more kolaches that I know she’s hidden somewhere.”
Ken pushed up his sunglasses and held his right palm over his eye. “How can she even move, much less jump?”
Ken’s head lolled to the side. His eyes were covered by dark sunglasses. “Oh shut up,” he said quietly. His head pounded.
Tina sat up quickly. “What?” She thought for a moment. “Uh oh. Please don’t tell me I did something last night that I don’t remember.” She scrunched her eyebrows. “Or, please tell me I didn’t do something last night I don’t remember.” She shook her head. “Yeah, something like that.”
Ken swallowed thickly. “Do you remember forcing me to take vodka shots with you?”
Tina nodded. “I remember us drinking vodka shots, but not so much so the forcing part.”
“Do you remember playing what Marjeta lovingly called the woundology game?”
Tina smiled. Its brightness hurt Ken’s eyes.
“Oh yes,” she said. “You were by far the most fun partner I’ve had in years.”
Ken grimaced. “Then you remember everything you did. So shut up.” His tongue felt like a bloated potato in his mouth. He felt different but his head hurt too much for him to know why.
Tina sat back against the lounge chair and faced the sun again. She couldn’t help but smile.
“Let me guess, you got up before noon.”
She shook her head.
“You should have slept through it. It’s the only way to deal with a Vodka hangover.” She reached over and patted his hand. “Poor thing.”
Matt smiled but kept quiet.
“You missed my poppy seed kolache that I made this morning,” Marjeta said. She brought out fresh glasses of lemonade for the three of them. They were alone on the patio, except for a squirrel who chattered incessantly at them from a high bough.
Tina beamed at her. “I did not.”
Marjeta looked askance. “Did Jiri sneak you some?”
Tina smiled. “No. But I know that you saved me at least two.” She waved her fingers in expectation.
Marjeta snapped the dish towel hanging on her apron at Tina’s arm. “You know me too well, my dear.” She pulled a package out of her apron pocket and handed a kolache to each of them.
“Dinner’s in two hours. Are they joining us?” she asked Tina.
“Have you asked them?” Tina countered.
“I thought it best to leave that for you.” Marjeta said, walking away.
“Ask us what?” Ken mumbled with a mouth full of pastry. Anything to get rid of the rancid potato taste. He wasn’t sure his stomach was going to like it as much as his taste buds did.
“Tonight’s the Full Moon Kayak and we were wondering if you wanted to join us?” She sat up and faced them, wiping crumbs from her chin. She pointed to her right.
“We leave from the Golden Hinde and paddle on Tomales Bay out to the ocean, around Tomales Bluff to Bird Rock. If you’ve never paddled before, you’ll probably want to stop at Avalis Beach and not venture out into the ocean.” She brushed a stray hair away from her cheek.
“When the moon is full and the fog is nowhere to be seen, it’s an incredible evening.” She looked up at the sky. “And it looks like the fog is being kind and sitting off the coast tonight. Let’s hope it holds.” She shook her head. “When the moon comes up, it’s all big and fat and so close you can touch it. And it reflects off the water and turns all of the leaves gold and then silver.” She looked specifically at Ken. “I would really like it if you would join us tonight.” She looked at Matt. “It’s a wonder to see.”
“Are you up for it?” Ken asked Matt.
Matt snorted. “You had more vodka than I did. Are you up for it?”
Ken raked his hand down his face then looked at Tina. God she was beautiful. She practically glowed. When did that happen? She was sitting so her face was half in sun and half in shadow. The shadowed eye was gray but the blue eye in the sun was full of greens and yellows and browns. He realized he would do anything those eyes asked of him. “I guess we’re going on a midnight kayaking trip.”
“Moonlight,” she corrected. “We’ll have an early dinner and leave at eight.” She cocked her head. “But you’re right. We won’t be back until well past midnight.” She smiled and reached over to squeeze both of their forearms. “I’m really happy you’re both coming.” She jumped to her feet. “I’ll go tell Marjeta. And see if I can’t find a few more kolaches that I know she’s hidden somewhere.”
Ken pushed up his sunglasses and held his right palm over his eye. “How can she even move, much less jump?”