Prisoner of My Desire by Johanna Lindsey
?I wish you had not told me this.?
? Tis wisest to know your enemy, and a simple question can bring a wealth of
information when you are in a room full of gossiping women. Lord Warrick was
only six and ten when the news reached him that Fulkhurst was in the hands of
another, his family all dead. ?Twas another six months ere he learned the full
details, and twice during that time attempts were made on his own life. He was,
after all, still heir to Fulkhurst, though without the aid of king or an army of
his own to win it back. Bainart knew this and so dismissed Warrick as a threat.
He did not know of Warrick?s one remaining resource, a betrothal made in his
youth and still in effect. He was too young to do aught about it then, but the
very day he was knighted, he rode straightaway to claim his bride, and with her
dower lands to supply men, and additional aid from her father?
?He won back Fulkhurst??
?Aye.?
?And killed Bainart??
?With his own hands. But that was not enough. His inability to act immediately
to avenge his family had allowed his hate to fester for those two years.
Fulkhurst had declined in prosperity because many of the servants had been
maimed or killed under Bainart?s rule. What Warrick had won back was a sorry
estate.?
?And so Bainart?s other properties became targets/?
Rowena guessed.
?Exactly. It took three years, but in the end, all of Bainart?s holdings were
added to Fulkhurst, doubling it in size. Lord Warrick lost his first wife and
took another during that time, with an eye to increasing his resources in the
second marriage, but with a more comely maid than his first wife had been.?
?Had he new enemies by then, that he needed an even larger army??
?Nay, but he had made a vow that no one would ever do him an ill again without
paying for it tenfold. Tis a vow he has kept ever since, and it has earned him a
reputation of swift retribution for all trespasses. Tis a vow that has involved
him in one war after another, year after year, for he will not let the slightest
offense pass.?
? ?Tis what finally turned him into the cruel monster he is today,? Rowena
remarked bitterly.
?Nay, how he is today is how he was from the day he learned of the destruction
of his whole family. Twas his grief and despair that changed him from the boy he
was to the man he is. They say there is no comparison between the two, that the
boy was kind, loving, full of mischief and the joyous exuberance of youth.?
?And the man is cold, heartless?
?But now you know why, and I doubt not that if he changed once, he can change
again.?
?Or not.?
?Where is the optimism of your own youth??
?Destroyed at the hands of the d?Ambrays.?
?Then nurture it back to life, my lamb, for you have an opportunity here to
secure your own futureand heal a man who has lived too long with demons from his
past. A worthy endeavor do you ask me.?
?I did not ask you,? Rowena said with growing annoyance.
?You can feel sorry for him, but you are not the recipient of his current enmity.
Do you ask me, he and his demons deserve each other.?
?Will you let your own tragedies turn you as hard and unforgiving as he??
?Now you contradict yourself to badger me, by admitting he is hard and
unforgiving. Leave go, Mildred. I said I would think about it.?
?Very well.?
Mildred sighed, but added tenaciously ?You do not feel just a little sorry for
him now??
?Not even a little,? Rowena said stubbornly and wished it were not a lie.
Chapter 26
?Welcome, Sheldon!? Warrick exclaimed and clasped his old friend in a bear hug.
?It has been too long since you came for a visit.?
?Likely because you crack my ribs each time I do,? Sheldon grunted.
?Liar,? Warrick shot back, but with a laugh, for Sheldon was not as wide as he
was, but was as talland in full armor.
Sheldon de Vere had been the eldest son of the household where Warrick had been
fostered, and Warrick had been his squire for four years. That there was only
some five years difference in their ages had made them friends as well. Sheldon
was merely thirty seven now, but his beard and straggly, long brown hair were
prematurely salted with gray, a trait common to the men of his family. It did
not detract from his handsomeness, but it did cause strange stares from folk
seeing him for the first time.
?Come, seat yourself and let your squire remove some of that heavy mail,?
Warrick continued as he led the way to the hearth. Then he called to a passing
servant.
?Emma, order refreshment for my guest.?
The girl turned to do as told, but after a moment Warrick called again.
?And fetch the new wench to serve it.?
Sheldon watched the lithesome girl delegate the first order to another, then
move toward the stairs to the women?s quarters.
?You still treat her like a servant?? he remarked after she had gone from sight.
?She is a servant.?
?She is also your daughter.?
Warrick frowned at that bald statement.
?That cannot be proven. God?s blood, I bedded her mother but once in my
fifteenth year, when you had given me leave to come home for a short visit. ?Tis
unlikely?
?Why do you make excuses for it not to be so,? Sheldon interrupted,
?when you have only to look at her to know she is your get? She is the only one
of your girls who actually does look like you.?
Warrick slumped down in his chair by the hearth, his frown darkening.
?I had no knowledge of the girl until she was nigh full grown. Her mother was so
afeared of me, she kept her hidden in the village during my infrequent stays
here, and my servants are so circumspect, none would mention her existence to me.
Even you have never mentioned her to me ere now.?
Sheldon flushed, for that was true enough.
?Did you acknowledge her as yours when you did finally notice her??
Warrick snorted.
?When I first noticed her, my friend, all I saw was a comely wench I might like
to sample in a few years and I told her so, whereby she promptly explained, with
a good deal of affronted heat, that I could not because she was my daughter.
Verily, I have never felt like such a fool, because I did not see it, because I
did not know it.?
Sheldon laughed.
?Embarrassment like that is not easy to forget.?
?Indeed, nor have 1.1 would as soon she continued to hide herself when I am home,
but now she does not.?
?But did you acknowledge her??
?Nay. I told you it cannot be proven she is mine, or do you forget that my
father yet lived when she was conceived? She could as easily be his get.?
?You believe that no more than I. Your father was much too devoted to your
mother to find any interest at all in the castle wenches.?
Warrick could not deny that, and his frown turned into a scowl.
?Mayhap I welcomed you too hastily, old friend. Why do you badger me about the
girl??
Sheldon sighed.
?I should have said so to begin with. My second son, Richard, would like to have
her to wi
Warrick stared at him for a long moment before he burst out laughing.
?His wife? What jest is this??
?No jest. I doubt you care to note it, but you have made yourself a power to
reckon with. An alliance with your house is coveted by more powerful lords than
I, or are you not barraged frequently with requests for your girls??
?Aye, too many for me to have the time to consider. But I have two legitimate
daughters, either of whom I would gladly give to Richard.?
Sheldon grimaced.
?No offense, Warrick, but Richard has threatened to move to France do I come
back with a betrothal to either of those two. He wants no other than Emma, and I
would be glad of the match myself.?
?But she is no more than a serf!? Warrick burst out.
?Not if you acknowledge her as yours.?
Warrick was back to scowling.
? ?Twould be a disservice to your family. She has not the deportment or manners
of a lady. She would shame?
?She can be taught all that needs knowing.?
?By who?? Warrick snorted.
?Did I ask Lady Roberta to include my bastard in her teachings, she would laugh
in my face, or more like leave affronted. Tis not done, Sheldon.?
His friend sighed again.
?She should have been taught long ago, but as you say, you knew not of her
existence. And I have no lady wife to take her in hand either. What, then, do I
tell my Richard, who has his heart set on her? Is she really so lacking in all
graces??
Warrick did not hear the question. Emma had returned to the hall, and right
behind her was Rowena. And the sight of the flaxen haired wench sent all
thoughts of Sheldon?s problem out of his mind. She did not look his way, but his
eyes followed her until she disappeared down the kitchen stairwell.
Memories of last eventide returned and caused him to stir uncomfortably in his
chair; then he realized that Sheldon was staring at him.
?What??
Sheldon raised a brow at the surly tone.
?I asked if you would object if I found a lady willing to instruct Emma.
Doubtless ?twill not be easy to find such a lady, yet would I need your
permission ere I make the effort.?
But Warrick was not looking at him, and all he said was ?What?? again, though
with less heat.
?Warrick, what the devil ails you, that you are so distracted??
Rowena had reentered the hall with a tray laden with refreshment. She ailed him,
that cursed wench. He could not look at her without being reminded of all she
had done to him, and he could not recall that without feeling the heat stir in
his loins. Fury and desire clashed and warred in him once again, and it was
getting harder for fury to win the battle.
?Do you require aught else, my lord??
She had set the tray on a table between the two chairs and now stood there with
her hands folded and her eyes demurely loweredto Warrick?s feet. He had dressed
her in servants? clothes, yet in no way had she ever appeared the serf. Even
standing there waiting to serve him, she held herself with all the regal grace
of a queen. ?Twas more than annoying, those ladylike airs, but the thought
suddenly made him smile, for it occurred to him that he had someone right here
who could instruct Emma in all she would need to know, and he did not have to
ask her to do it, he need only order it done.
Just then, he ordered ?Go you and inform Mistress Blouet to prepare a chamber
for my guest.?
?I see I no longer need my last question answered,? Sheldon said as soon as she
left.
?Is she the lady you had locked in your dungeon??
Warrick was surprised.
?How did you come to know about that??
?I came to Fulkhurst a fortnight ago, expecting to meet your bride. Did no one
tell you??
?Nay, ?twas not mentioned. But how did you hear of Rowena??
?Considering the large escort that brought her and installed her in your dungeon/twas
all your people were talking about. Speculation was rife, as I recall, as to
whether she was indeed a lady or not. Is she??
?The question wouldst be better put, ?Was she??
She was. She is not now.?
?How so??
?Because she is my prisoner, without rights and without concessions. As I do not
care to hang her, or flay the skin from her back, or otherwise maim her, I have
instead punished her with the loss of her previous status. I have made her my
serf.?
?What did she do??
?I do not care to speak of her crime. Suffice it to say, she is lucky I did not
kill her.?
Sheldon said naught for several moments, possibly because Warrick?s tone had
turned too defensive.
?It must have been grievous indeed.?
But then he shrugged, not all that interested, since his own problem had yet to
be solved.
?About Emma??
?Do you leave the matter to me. As it happens, my new serf is capable of
teaching the girl, if she can be taught. Let us see if the iron can be wrought
into silver ere we speak more of it.?
Chapter 27
No sooner had Rowena returned to the weaving room than Celia showed up there,
sauntering in with a superior than thou expression and a tight little smile that
warned Rowena she was not going to like hearing what the girl had to say. Indeed,
she did not.
?Get you to the East tower, wench. A bath has been sent there for Sir Sheldon?s
use, and you are to assist him.?
Celia?s diction was much improved, Rowena noted, when she was not upset.
Gloating and delighted were what she was just now, while Rowena felt as if the
floor had fallen out beneath her feet.
?Did Mary send you with that order??
?Nay, Warrick did.?
Celia smirked.
?And best you hurry. Sir Sheldon has already been shown to the chamber. And mark
you, wench, he is not merely a guest, but a good friend of your lord. Warrick
would not like it were his friend not pleased with your service.?
A couple of the women snickered at that. Rowena merely got up and left the room.
She was angry at Warrick for this new humiliation he would force on her, but
even more angry at herself for beginning to think seriously about the
suggestions Mildred had made earlier. Any man who could send her to another man?s
bedand she did not mistake Celia?s taunting warning any more than the other
women hadwas not worth seducing, even if it might better her lot to try it.
She was surprised, too. When the girl Emma had summoned her, she had expected to
receive what she had missed that morn, utter shame over her behavior yestereve
in his bed. Yet when she had stood before him, Warrick still had not mentioned
last eventide, though it had been there in his eyes as he stared at her, full
memory of it. Instead he had as much as given her to another man with his
blessing.
Verily, this could be seen as another punishment, yet she could not think what
she had done to merit it. She had not even hesitated over calling him her lord.
She had not delayed in coming when summoned. Had Warrick reached a point, then,
where he did not need a reason to punish her, where good behavior would avail
her naught? If so, why should she bother to do as bidden? Because there are
worse punishments than attending a stranger at his bath.
Attending that stranger in his bed was out of the question, however, no matter
if it was Warrick?s wish that she do so, no matter what was done to her for
refusing. The stranger would have to rape her, and he was not likely to do that.
A knight might take a field wench without a thought, but he would not abuse his
host?s servant in that waynot without his host?s permission. But there was the
rub. Had Warrick told this Sir Sheldon that he could have her?
Mixed in with the anger was hurt that aught not to be there, but dread took over
both emotions the closer she got to the East tower chamber, until she was nigh
sick with it. Yet there was a core of stubbornness in her that would not let her
run and hide instead.