Psmith, Journalist by P. G. Wodehouse
CHAPTER VII
VISITORS AT THE OFFICE
On the following morning Mike had to leave with the team forPhiladelphia. Psmith came down to the ferry to see him off, andhung about moodily until the time of departure.
"It is saddening me to a great extent, Comrade Jackson," he said,"this perpetual parting of the ways. When I think of the happymoments we have spent hand-in-hand across the seas, it fills mewith a certain melancholy to have you flitting off in this mannerwithout me. Yet there is another side to the picture. To me thereis something singularly impressive in our unhesitating reply to thecalls of Duty. Your Duty summons you to Philadelphia, to knock thecover off the local bowling. Mine retains me here, to play my partin the great work of making New York sit up. By the time youreturn, with a century or two, I trust, in your bag, the good workshould, I fancy, be getting something of a move on. I will completethe arrangements with regard to the flat."
After leaving Pleasant Street they had found Fourth Avenue by adevious route, and had opened negotiations for a large flat nearThirtieth Street. It was immediately above a saloon, which wassomething of a drawback, but the landlord had assured them that thevoices of the revellers did not penetrate to it.
* * *
When the ferry-boat had borne Mike off across the river, Psmithturned to stroll to the office of _Cosy Moments_. The day was fine,and on the whole, despite Mike's desertion, he felt pleased withlife. Psmith's was a nature which required a certain amount ofstimulus in the way of gentle excitement; and it seemed to him thatthe conduct of the remodelled _Cosy Moments_ might supply this. Heliked Billy Windsor, and looked forward to a not unenjoyable timetill Mike should return.
The offices of _Cosy Moments_ were in a large building in the streetoff Madison Avenue. They consisted of a sort of outer lair, wherePugsy Maloney spent his time reading tales of life in the prairiesand heading off undesirable visitors; a small room, which wouldhave belonged to the stenographer if _Cosy Moments_ had possessedone; and a larger room beyond, which was the editorial sanctum.
As Psmith passed through the front door, Pugsy Maloney rose.
"Say!" said Master Maloney.
"Say on, Comrade Maloney," said Psmith.
"Dey're in dere."
"Who, precisely?"
"A whole bunch of dem."
Psmith inspected Master Maloney through his eye-glass. "Canyou give me any particulars?" he asked patiently. "You arewell-meaning, but vague, Comrade Maloney. Who are in there?"
"De whole bunch of dem. Dere's Mr. Asher and the Rev. Philpotts anda gazebo what calls himself Waterman and about 'steen more of dem."
A faint smile appeared upon Psmith's face.
"And is Comrade Windsor in there, too, in the middle of them?"
"Nope. Mr. Windsor's out to lunch."
"Comrade Windsor knows his business. Why did you let them in?"
"Sure, dey just butted in," said Master Maloney complainingly. "Iwas sittin' here, readin' me book, when de foist of de guys blewin. 'Boy,' says he, 'is de editor in?' 'Nope,' I says. 'I'll go inan' wait,' says he. 'Nuttin' doin',' says I. 'Nix on de goin' inact.' I might as well have saved me breat'. In he butts, and he'sin der now. Well, in about t'ree minutes along comes anothergazebo. 'Boy,' says he, 'is de editor in?' 'Nope,' I says. 'I'llwait,' says he lightin' out for de door. Wit dat I sees deproposition's too fierce for muh. I can't keep dese big husky guysout if dey's for buttin' in. So when de rest of de bunch comesalong, I don't try to give dem de t'run down. I says, 'Well,gents,' I says, 'it's up to youse. De editor ain't in, but if yousewants to join de giddy t'rong, push t'roo inter de inner room. Ican't be boddered.'"
"And what more _could_ you have said?" agreed Psmith approvingly."Tell me, Comrade Maloney, what was the general average aspect ofthese determined spirits?"
"Huh?"
"Did they seem to you to be gay, lighthearted? Did they carolsnatches of song as they went? Or did they appear to be lookingfor some one with a hatchet?"
"Dey was hoppin'-mad, de whole bunch of dem."
"As I suspected. But we must not repine, Comrade Maloney. Thesetrifling contretemps are the penalties we pay for our highjournalistic aims. I will interview these merchants. I fancy thatwith the aid of the Diplomatic Smile and the Honeyed Word I maymanage to pull through. It is as well, perhaps, that ComradeWindsor is out. The situation calls for the handling of a man ofdelicate culture and nice tact. Comrade Windsor would probably haveendeavoured to clear the room with a chair. If he should arriveduring the seance, Comrade Maloney, be so good as to inform him ofthe state of affairs, and tell him not to come in. Give him mycompliments, and tell him to go out and watch the snowdrops growingin Madison Square Garden."
"Sure," said Master Maloney.
Then Psmith, having smoothed the nap of his hat and flicked a speckof dust from his coat-sleeve, walked to the door of the inner roomand went in.