Push and Shove by C. L. Stone
“And you’ll move out?” she asked.
“I’ll try,” I said. “I’ll need to ask the others. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll work on it.”
She breathed in deeply enough to draw back her shoulders, and then hunched forward a little as she released the air. “So how do I get Mr. Hendricks off my back?”
“Leave him to me. I’ll negotiate with him.”
“Am I going to end up in detention?”
“If things go okay,” I said, looking back at the expanse of Mr. Hendricks’s desk, trying to avoid searching for cameras that might be placed around the area. I didn’t want him to know I knew about those. “You may not ever see him again.”
We sat in silence for a long time after that. I think we’d come to an understanding, even though I felt like I was promising the moon. Move out? My heart was in my throat thinking of the promise. I had no place to go. Mr. Blackbourne had said I couldn’t move into an apartment with Nathan. This didn’t even involve just myself anymore, because with Nathan’s dad at home, neither of us could go back there. We couldn’t live with Kota. I couldn’t imagine asking Mr. Blackbourne or Dr. Green to allow us to move in.
I had nothing else to offer my sister, who seemed to be happy with the idea of me never being around anymore. I hadn’t realized all the problems I was facing were coming down on her, too. And the one thing that she’d asked of me, the one possibly redeeming thing I may have been able to provide for her, she didn’t get. And it was so simple. She wanted to know where her mother was and to talk to her.
She didn’t tell me anything. Not her feelings and not what was going on. If only she’d told me sooner. Maybe I could have prevented a lot of this.
Suddenly I knew how frustrated Mr. Blackbourne felt when I didn’t talk to him. I imagined that’s how the boys felt sometimes when I didn’t tell them what I was thinking.
I tried to swallow up all those fears and questions, because right now I had to face off with Mr. Hendricks. I needed to focus.
♥♥♥
He was gone for over fifteen minutes. If he’d been listening in, I guessed he was waiting for us to say something else, but my sister and I were used to long silences together in the same room. We lived together in a house without talking to each other for days on end.
When he returned, he had his eyebrows lifted in curiosity as he entered. “Everything okay?”
“Just fine,” I said. “Although if you don’t mind, I’d like a chance to talk with you alone.” I thought I should get to the point.
His eyes widened in surprise. “If you wish. Marie, you can go back to class.”
Marie took one more look at me and headed out the door.
When we were alone, Mr. Hendricks crossed the room again, lowering himself into his chair. He rocked back and forth as he stared at me. “Go on.”
“I’ll tell you what you want to know,” I said. “But you need to keep my sister and parents out of this,” I said.
“You’re not exactly in a position to negotiate,” Mr. Hendricks said.
“You can threaten me with suspensions or changing my grades. Dragging my sister into this will only make more problems for both of us.”
“Do you think I’d have to do any of that if you were telling me everything?”
We weren’t getting anywhere like this. I wasn’t even sure what he wanted from me.
If you’re not sure what he wants to know, ask him.
“What do you think I’m not telling you?”
He paused, leaning back in his chair, his graying eyebrows arching. “Where were you yesterday?”
“When?” I asked.
“When you weren’t in class,” he said. “From the class right before lunch, your geography class, on through the rest of the day.”
Mr. Morris’s class was probably the only one I couldn’t get away with being absent and him not finding out. I couldn’t lie. “I was following Mr. Blackbourne.”
He nodded like he could have figured this part. “Where?”
Did he know? I thought about his question. Noon onward was a long expanse of time. Since he wasn’t specific, I only had to mention the parts I wanted. “He had me go with him to the library.”
“Which one?”
“Downtown. Charleston.”
There was an incline of his head, a tug at his lips and I got the impression that this was new information. He’d suspected something, but wasn’t expecting this. “What did he do there?”
“He plopped a medical journal in front of my face and told me to read from it and not move until someone came to collect me.” It wasn’t the full truth, but everything I’d said was true. I was getting the hang of this.
He sat forward, interested. “Sounds like he was testing you.”
Or I was grounded. I only nodded, not willing to relay any information unless I had to. “If you want me to tell you things,” I said, “you need to ask me. Not my sister. But don’t ask my sister again about these things, or I won’t mention anything else. I can promise you, whatever she’s telling you anyway, she’ll say whatever she thinks will get me in trouble. She doesn’t really have a clue what’s going on.”
“No kidding,” he said. He frowned. He plopped a notepad onto his desk and then selected a pen from a cup. He started jotting down notes. “Who came to get you yesterday?”
I swallowed. I went this far, but I wasn’t really sure I was willing to tell him about Dr. Green and staying at his house. Could I tell him about spying on Rocky? Did he know about the drugs? “I...”
My thoughts were cut off by the alarm blaring over our heads. I jumped in my chair at the shocking sound. Now?
Mr. Hendricks rolled his eyes and sat back, before standing up. “Goddamn it,” he said. “If it’s another cardboard box with gun powder dust, the next time I might just rig one up myself to show this kid how it’s done.” He moved to the door and opened it, and pointed me to the hallway. “We’re not finished,” he said.
I nodded and jumped up. I made a dash, thankful for the temporary reprieve.
There was a commotion in the waiting room of the office. Some were evacuating while others were trying to direct phone calls and telling stragglers where to go. I lost Mr. Hendricks in the shuffle.
I was propelled out amid the pack of people flowing out into the hallway. I lingered, yanking out my cell phone, trying to locate someone.
I stopped when I spotted Mr. Blackbourne in the hallway. Amid the chaos, he was there in the gray suit, maroon tie, steel eyes sharp as he issued commands. Perfection.
My first instinct was to run to him. To tell him everything that had happened. My heart was tearing itself up because I wasn’t sure if I’d done the right thing.
I was dying to fix everything I’d broken.
So I started toward him. He was directing people. The command in his voice telling teachers to go this way or that, or for students to straighten up and head out the door.
When our eyes met, I almost ran to him because I needed something and I didn’t understand what. I just knew he could help me figure it out.
He stilled for a moment, the steel unrelenting. He took a few steps forward. Then I started to hurry because I thought that’s what he wanted.
He stopped midstride and then held out a hand, palm open. Stop.
I did instantly. Why?
There was a slight shake of his head, and his eyes changed. I couldn’t now. Not here. Not in front of everyone. I understood it, but it was hard, because I thought for sure I needed him and that he was the only one who could fix the mess I’d just made.
He glanced around then, and with a flick of his hand, he started pointed deeper into the hallway.
I followed where he was directing me and spotted Silas amid the flow of people. The boys were looking for me.
When I met with Mr. Blackbourne’s eyes again, we both understood I had to get to Silas and to follow the boys out, without saying a word out loud.
I was sad to leave him.
I nodded, understanding and dove into the crowd, seeking out Silas.
CORNERED
The alarm cut short and before Silas and I finished crossing the parking lot or found anyone else, the teachers were calling people back inside. False alarm.
“Is it true,” I asked Silas. “False alarm? Or is it another empty box?”
“I’ve got a feeling it’s an empty box,” Silas said. He squeezed my hand and we waited for the crowd to figure out where it wanted to go. “Or not so empty.”
“Mr. Hendricks said there was gun powder residue in the first one.”
“It was in the second one,” Silas said.
I paused in the hallway, and Silas stopped, looking at me. “What second one?” I asked.
A dark eyebrow went up. “There was some sort of school dance the night of Victor’s concert. Another bomb threat, another empty box, but that time there was residue inside like from a gun. We thought it was planted to make it react to a bomb detector.”
“I didn’t know,” I said.
Silas frowned, his thick lips pursing. He tugged at my hand. “We should bring you in for more family meetings.”
“We have family meetings?”
He grunted. “You’ll be at the next one.”
I couldn’t ask more now. With so many people around, I wasn’t sure we should be talking about it so openly. “It’s still first period?” I asked.
“Second,” he said
I stopped amid the crowd, trying to think of where second period class was. I was still feeling off from the heavy sleep. “Will Mr. Hendricks just call me out anyway?”
Silas turned to me, gazing at my face and tilting his head. He was quiet for a long moment. He stepped forward, his hand outstretched toward my head. I ducked at first, thinking maybe there was a fly or something. Instead he rested his palm against my forehead.
“Uh oh,” he said in that deep voice of his. “I think I feel a fever.”
“What?” I said. I didn’t feel hot.
“Someone is sick,” he said.
“I’m not sick.”
He chopped me on the head, and it struck me funny because he never did that. “Shut up. You’re sick. Let’s go to the nurse.” He winked at me and then tucked my hand into his again, tugging me toward the front offices.
Someone’s been taking lessons from Gabriel. I followed, amused that Silas was acting so peculiar.
“You don’t have any important tests today, do you?” he asked.
“No.”
“Good.”
The hallway was crowded with the commotion of the fire alarm, and Silas bypassed it. He headed down the hallway, toward the nurse’s office.
Inside, the room was empty. “What about the nurse?” I asked.
“She’s been gone,” Silas said. “Dr. Green was taking over. I think she’s having a baby. Or surgery. She’ll be gone for a while. When Dr. Green found out, he volunteered to take over when he could.
Silas guided me toward the very back of the large space. There were more of those cots and folding walls. He shoved two of the movable walls over to make an enclosed area. He took two cots and moved them next to each other.
“There,” he said. He pointed to one. “Sit or lay down. Whatever you feel like.”
“I can’t skip class,” I said. “I already got in trouble for yesterday.”
“You can’t get into trouble if you’re sick. We’ll get you a doctor’s excuse.” He sat on one of the cots and then shrugged off the jacket of the school uniform he wore. He undid a few buttons from the collared shirt, and yanked at the material to untuck it from the dark gray slacks. He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows and reclined onto his back, propping his arms under his head for a pillow. “Looks like we’re both coming down with the flu.”
I didn’t think I was going to talk my way out of this. I studied Silas as he closed his eyes for a moment. The small stretches of sideburns along his olive skin were getting a little wild. His smooth black hair was starting to touch around his ears. His broad chest and the massive smooth muscle of his stomach rose and fell as he breathed.
I eased myself onto the cot, leaning back on my hands. “Why didn’t we go to Mr. Blackbourne’s office?”
“There’s good cots right here,” he said without opening his eyes.
I found my phone, fiddling with it. “Should I tell Mr. Blackbourne we’re here?”
“If you want.”
I sent a quick text. I didn’t want to make it feel like I was tattling, but I wanted to be sure no one was looking for us.
Sang: Silas wants me to skip class and rest. We’re in the nurse’s office.
Blackbourne: Are you okay? Are you really ill?
Sang: I’m a little tired but I’m not sick.
Blackbourne: Stay with Silas.
I ran my fingertips over the pink case. I wanted to say something else while I had his attention. He responded so quickly to me. It reminded me of when we were together in Music Room B, where I often felt I could ask him anything.
Sang: Can I talk to you later? I know you’re busy now. I made a lot of promises to Marie. I don’t know if I did the right thing.
Blackbourne: We’ll discuss it over dinner.
My heart went into a flurry over the idea that I’d have dinner with him again. Would I be going back to Dr. Green’s tonight?
How did he feel about my promises? He didn’t really answer.
He said to talk to him any time, but I knew this wasn’t the appropriate moment at all. He was probably trying to figure out who left a box, if there was one, or what happened with the alarm. I wouldn’t press him.
“Silas?” I asked, putting away my phone.
“Hm?”
I lay back on the cot, crossing my legs at the ankle and propping my head up on an arm as I stared at the ceiling. “What’s been going on with the team since the party? I haven’t heard anything about it.” I wanted to distract myself from thinking about dinner with Mr. Blackbourne, and Marie, and other things.
“There was some talk about kicking Rocky off the team.”
I turned my head to him. “What?”
“It wasn’t me,” he said. He talked with his eyes closed still. “I’ve been getting a lot of gossip from some of the other team members. John’s accusing him of making him sick somehow. They are saying he put LSD in his water. Rocky denies it. John’s pissed because he had to go to the hospital and now his parents think he’s doing drugs. He swears he wasn’t.”
“Was he sick like Marie and Danielle? Did he pass out like they did?”
“Not exactly,” he said. “He suffered a neck injury after the game. And after Rocky’s fight at the party, everyone thinks Rocky’s messed up and stupid.”
“He’s not going to like that.”
“He doesn’t really have a choice. He did it to himself.”
“What will happen to him?”
Silas’s chest rose considerably as he took in a slow breath. He released it loudly. “He’ll have to redeem himself somehow or get replaced as quarterback.”
“Who will replace him?”
“There was word of North taking over.”
“North? Would he?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
He turned toward me, his big dark eyes locking with mine. “We’re not here to take over. When we leave at the end of the year, or sooner if necessary, we don’t need to cause a disruption in people’s lives.”
I rolled over onto my side, propping my head up higher in my hand. “What happens when you do leave?”
“We go back to the Academy. Business as usual.”
My first instinct was to not say anything about what I was afraid of. I fought it. “What happens to me?”
His thick lips pursed out, and his jaw shifted like he was considering it. “I can’t read the future,” he said. “But I’ve been told Mr. Blackbou
“In the Academy?”
“Even if that never happens,” he said. “Even if you don’t join, or they say you can’t. You’d still be with us.”
“I’d go to school,” I said. “I have to.”
“There’s a lot of different ways to get around that. And we know all of them.”
The revelation didn’t surprise me. They worked around things so easily. Everything had an answer. Dr. Green once told me all I had to do was stay out of trouble and trust them and everything would work out. He made it sound so simple. Was I the only one making things complicated? Because I didn’t see the answers?
Silas studied me for a long time while I was trying to come up with another question. He rolled onto his back again. “Aggele.”
“Silas?”
“Take a nap. At lunch, I’ll find us some food. If you feel up to it after, we’ll go back to class. But don’t take it too seriously. This year is a bust anyway. You’ll be coming with us. Get what you can out of it and we’ll worry about where you’re going to be next year when we get to that point.”
“What about my grades?”
“You get good grades.”
“But what if Mr. Hendricks does something to it? Or I skip class too much?”
“We’ll fix it. We do our homework and get good grades because we’re expected to here, but it’s not an Academy requirement and you don’t have to worry about what your report card looks like. You only need to worry about you right now. You need to sleep. Try to rest.”
I went back to staring at the ceiling again. I wanted to do what he told me, so I stared at a particular discolored spot on the ceiling for as long as I could.
I fell asleep.
♥♥♥
Lunch time came. I was awake, but didn’t stir when the bell rang. I was zoned out staring at the ceiling.
Silas rose from his own nap and fetched packets of crackers, chips and water from the vending machines. Dr. Green stopped by to look in on the other students coming in and then found us in the back. He informed us that there was indeed a fake bomb planted in the cafeteria and the alarm was set off by another student. The box had said ‘bomb’ on the outside and due to the recent scares and false alarms, this particular student opened it after he hit the alarm. No bomb inside.