Raw Need by Cherrie Lynn
He leaned back, stroking the hair from her forehead, stroking the tears from her cheeks. This was so hard on her, he knew, but her distress was the last thing he wanted. “I know he’ll always be a part of you, baby,” he told her. “You loved him and I wouldn’t want anything less. Just give me my own little room in your heart, and I’ll be happy there. Can you do that?”
“I can,” she sniffled, collapsing into his arms again. “I can do that.”
“The album’s done,” he told her. “I want to be with you for a while. No work, no tours, just us. You can bring Zoey here, or I’ll go where you are. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“Hey, dude!” Wills called out from the stage. “You’re making us look bad, you know. I told Nikki about this and she wanted to know why I never did anything like this for her.”
Rowan laughed, looking up at Wills and wiping her eyes. “I really liked Nikki.”
“I’ll give you her number. You girls can chat it up about what an unimaginative piece of shit I am.”
They all laughed. Zane sent Rowan a grin. “I wish I could take full credit,” he said. “I probably shouldn’t admit it, but this was mostly Damien’s idea.”
“Aw. Is he a romantic at heart?”
“I wouldn’t go that far. He’s probably getting ready to chase us all out now that the show’s over. Time is money.”
“I loved the whole private concert for one thing. Coolest surprise ever.”
He got to his feet, pulling Rowan up with him and gently pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’m glad you came. I wasn’t convinced it would all work out.”
“I hoped it was you,” she whispered, gazing up at him. “From the second they came to get me. I was afraid to hope, but I did.”
“Never be afraid to hope,” he told her. “Never again.”
In that moment, she wasn’t.
Epilogue
A roar went up from the hometown crowd as the guys took the stage. Zoey, sitting in Savannah’s lap wearing noise-canceling headphones, laughed at the flashing lights and clapped her hands with glee.
She was six months old today, healthy and happy, her dark hair already long enough to put up in a bow. Her favorite seemed to be the pink ruffled one Zane had given her the first time Rowan brought him home to meet her, and she was wearing it now, her hair poking straight up from it in an adorable little sprout. She also wore a little black August on Fire onesie with her jeans.
As Zane was about to sweep past Rowan to grab the mic, he stopped to kiss her. It was all she could do to let him go, but he had business to attend to.
The Houston show was kicking off a three-month tour in support of the new album, Star-Crossed, which had debuted at number one on the Billboard charts. Their first single, “Heroine,” was the number one rock song in the country. And it was her song.
By her own choice, Rowan wasn’t accompanying him on this outing. Zoey was still a little young for something like that, and Rowan could never leave her for that long. Regina was a factor as well; since their truce, she’d been wonderful, working hard to patch things up. Maybe things would never be as they were before—sometimes Rowan couldn’t forget the things she’d said—but they were working on it. Tommy’s parents would always be in her and Zoey’s life, and all of them had settled into an easy routine. She made sure not to rub their faces in Zane’s presence, and Regina made sure not to be such a control freak.
Tonight was another anniversary, of sorts. Rowan could hardly believe it, but it had been a year since the night she and Savannah came to this very venue and watched August on Fire for the first time. She’d stood on the opposite end of the stage and cheered and danced and probably made a fool of herself. Now she was on the other side, the front man’s girlfriend. It was all a little too much. She still pinched herself sometimes.
Song after song, the band killed it. Savannah passed Zoey back over and Rowan danced with her, laughing at her delighted little face. Every time Zane walked close, Zoey reached both chubby little arms out for him, and he would wave at her, but her bottom lip would tremble when he had to walk away.
I know just how you feel, kiddo, Rowan thought.
“Faceless” ended and the lights went down. Rowan knew from glimpsing the set list that “Heroine” was up next, the same song he had serenaded her with at Damien’s nightclub. Naturally, her new favorite August on Fire song.
She couldn’t take her eyes off him as he sang it. The audience was a dark sea of lighted cell phone screens, and a few old-schoolers who still put their lighters in the air. Every time his eyes flickered over to her as he stood at the mic, she felt it all the way down to her toes. There wasn’t a single eye in the room that wasn’t on him.
As the last chords died away, he turned to her, stuck his arm out, and motioned her over with the crook of his finger.
What?
Rowan froze in her spot with Zoey on her hip, then shook her head frantically. He did it again. She mouthed, “No!” with her heart lodged fully in her throat, suddenly feeling as if she were going to throw up. Go out there in front of all those people?
“My little dove is being skittish,” he said into the mic, his voice echoing through the arena.
Before she knew what was happening, Savannah was taking Zoey from her arms again, encouraging her to go on. Mike even grabbed her hand and led her out, kicking cords out of the way so she didn’t trip on her way to Zane . . . who stood grinning center stage. She was going to kill him for this later, but right then, she focused on him and only him, ignoring the rest of the band around them, ignoring the thousands of people watching and cheering right now. It was only him, only her, she insisted to herself, and at last, she had reached him, covering her face with one hand. It had only been a few feet, but had felt like a mile.
He gently pulled her hand away, looking into her eyes for a moment before raising the mic to his lips to address the audience. “I know this is something a little different,” he told everyone, his voice breathless from singing. “But I wanted to introduce you guys to the most incredible person I’ve ever met. She keeps me going, picks me up, and kicks my ass when I need it. Since she and her beautiful daughter became a permanent fixture in my life, I’ve never been happier. She’s my heroine. And that’s why . . .”
To Rowan’s absolute and utter heart-stopping astonishment, he dropped to one knee in front of her, holding her hand as he spoke into the mic. “ . . . I want to ask her if she’ll marry me.”
Jubilant pandemonium erupted throughout the arena. Rowan looked out at them all, her hand over her mouth again, blinded by the sudden explosion of camera flashes. Even all the noise around her was nothing compared to the blood rushing in her ears.
She looked back down at Zane, seeing nothing but forever in his dark eyes. Tears welling in her own, she flung herself down on him, squeezing him until she felt every breath he took. “Yes,” she said directly into his ear, voice shaking with emotion. “Yes, yes, yes.”
“I love you,” he said for her ears only. “Love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too. You’re crazy to do this, you hear me? But I love you.”
The guys kicked into a impromptu riff of “Here Comes the Bride,” and Zane laughed, putting down the mic to take Rowan’s face in both hands and kiss her thoroughly right there in front of thousands of people. Claiming her in front of the entire world, putting to rest all the rumors, all the conjecture, all the gossip. As his mouth worked feverishly over hers, the screams in the arena this time were mostly female.
She had no doubt she would emit a few of her own later.
* * *
The ring, which he gave to her later in his bedroom, was a five-carat, emerald-cut stunner so gorgeous she wept as he slid it on her finger.
“I’m afraid to wear this,” she exclaimed, pulling it close to her eyes to inspect it. It caught the dim light in the room and exploded with sparkles every time she moved. “Someone might cut my finger off for it.”
He chuckled. “
“Then I’ll never take it off. And you’d better FaceTime me every day.”
“You know I will.” He kissed her, and her heart ached from knowing he had to go tomorrow, though he’d promised he would fly to her on his off days when he could. Savannah had taken Zoey with her to Mike’s so that Rowan could have one night with her new fiancé before he left. “I’m sorry if I surprised you,” he said, pulling back only slightly. “I wanted it to be big. Nothing else I could think of was big enough.”
“I loved it,” she said, pulling him down on the bed with her. “Once I got out there, it was perfect.”
“Told you that’s how it is,” he said, and kissed the sensitive flesh underneath her jaw as her head fell back on the pillow.
“But if you never do it again, that’s okay too,” she murmured, and he laughed.
“Deal.” He began to undress her, kissing every part of her he revealed, whispering how beautiful she was while she shook underneath him. She still wasn’t used to him, his voice, his hands on her. Everything about him still held utter fascination for her, and she thought it always would.
He loved driving her to the point of insanity before he made love to her, and he was damn good at it. Licking and teasing every inch of her body until she was almost on the verge of orgasm before he slid inside. Stroking her to the edge and pulling away while she sobbed and begged. Tonight, he seemed intent on pulling out every delicious trick. She was writhing in agony by the time he pinned her open and slid deep, a hoarse groan tearing from his throat, mingling with the whimper from her own.
She cried his name, pulling him close and winding her legs around his waist. His kisses teased at her lips, once, twice, before he coaxed her mouth open and tasted her fully, tongue dancing with hers as their bodies moved together. He rolled his hips into her relentlessly, driving the breath from her as her hands skittered down his back to his ass. She savored the feel of his muscles working as he fucked her. Beautiful. And since he had a mirror over his bed—rock stars—she got to watch them too, the magnificent bunch and release as she felt the devastating results inside her.
“Yes, baby, yes,” he growled in her ear as she came undone around him, clawing at his back and crying out. He loved watching her climax, but he never could hold out for long—her first orgasm always induced his. He pushed deep and Rowan felt his release pulsing until his arms gave out and he collapsed over her. The absolute sexiest man in the entire world, and he wanted to be hers. Forever.
Once, a long time ago, she’d stood up in front of God and everyone and pledged to give a man forever. For whatever reason, that version of forever had been taken from her. With every touch of Zane’s hand, she felt as if it was being given back to her. Maybe not the one she had planned for as she said her wedding vows all those years ago, but a new one that made her feel safe and happy.
Because, whatever else he was, Zane remembered who he was. He remembered where he’d come from, and the adversity he’d overcome to get here. He respected what she’d been through. Through Zoey, and through him, she’d been able to find herself again.
They hadn’t helped her emerge from her cocoon. They’d given her a reason to finally do so. They were the strength she’d needed. She would be eternally grateful for that.
“Jesus, I love you,” Zane said, a note of complete satiation in his voice as his breathing slowly returned to normal. “I want forever with you.”
Against his shoulder, feeling the weight of his ring on her left hand, Rowan smiled at the way he always seemed to read her mind. “I can’t wait.”
About the Author
Author photograph by Rachel Campbell
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Cherrie Lynn has been a CPS caseworker and a juvenile probation officer, but now she writes contemporary and paranormal romance on the steamy side. She’s also an unabashed rock music enthusiast, and she is fond of hitting the road with her husband to catch their favorite bands live. Cherrie lives in East Texas. She is the author of the Larson Brothers series, which includes Raw Deal and Raw Need.
You can sign up for email updates here.
Also by Cherrie Lynn
Raw Deal
Thank you for buying this Swerve ebook.
To receive special offers, bonus content, and info on new releases and other great reads, sign up for our newsletters.
Or visit us online at us.macmillan.com/newslettersignup
For email updates on the author, click here.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Epilogue
About the Author
Also by Cherrie Lynn
Copyright Page
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
RAW NEED. Copyright © 2017 by Cherrie Lynn. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Cover photographs: man © Jacob Lund/Shutterstock.com; tattoo © Anna Maltseva/Shutterstock.com; tattoo © Iofoto/Shutterstock.com
ISBN 978-1-250-12637-5 (ebook)
First Edition: June 2017
Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, ext. 5442, or by e-mail at [email protected].
Cherrie Lynn, Raw Need