Rock Chick by Kristen Ashley
What was it with me? I was blurting out my honest thoughts willy nilly.
He rolled into me, his thigh came between my legs, forcing one of mine to hook around his hip and his hand went to my ass and pressed me to him. His other hand tucked my head in his neck.
I realized he thought I agreed with him and this was my reward.
It was a good reward, being held by Lee like that, really good.
He didn’t have to know that even though I agreed with him, I was still going to do whatever the hell I wanted to do.
* * * * *
I woke up when the bed depressed with Lee’s weight.
I opened my eyes and blinked at him.
“Coffee,” he said and I saw the steam rising from a mug he was holding.
I scooted up, arranged the pillows, pulled the sheet up over my chest and took the coffee.
I took a sip, it was strong.
“My hero,” I breathed into the joe.
“What are your plans for the day?” he asked.
Automatically, I lied, “I’m not caffeinated enough to have plans.”
He stared at me.
He knew I had plans.
He stood, he was wearing a pair of seriously faded, once-navy-blue sweats that rode low on his hips, bringing the tops of his hip bones out in sexy relief. The sweats had been cut off and the ragged edge hit mid-thigh. His hair was messy, not only with sleep but because I’d made it that way. With the sweats and the hair, I was beginning to feel mildly turned on.
He walked across the room and came back.
I took another sip and absently heard a clink of metal but was still not awake enough to process the noise.
The mug was swept away, my wrist was seized and halfway up to the bed stand when I realized he had cuffs.
Too late, he slapped it on my wrist and I heard the ratchet of the bracelet. I twisted but I heard the second ratchet and I was stuck.
I twisted back to him, pissed off.
“You’re kidding,” I snapped.
He slid in bed alongside me, pulling the sheet down.
“Nope.”
His hands were on me and his mouth came to my neck.
“Un-unh. No way.” I pushed at him with my free hand. “You aren’t gonna cuff me to the bed and have your wicked way with me.”
He grabbed my free hand by the wrist and twisted it behind me.
“Wanna bet?”
His other hand pushed the sheet over my hip and I was fully exposed.
“Are you gonna leave me here all day?”
“After… yeah,” he said into my ear.
Grr.
“Uncuff me!”
“No.”
“Lee, this is not funny. And anyway, morning sex isn’t working for us. You start this and someone is gonna buzz the door and tell you that The Alamo has been attacked and you’re gonna take off.”
His hand had wandered to my ass, his mouth came to mine.
“You’ll survive.”
“No I won’t!”
His mouth slid passed mine to my ear.
“You’ve done it before.”
“That was before I knew what I was missing!”
His head came up and he grinned at me.
Fucking Lee.
“I’ll uncuff you if you promise me you won’t go off looking for Rosie with Tex.” I opened my mouth but before I could say anything he said, “Promise me and mean it.”
I closed my mouth.
If I could have crossed my arms on my chest, I would have. Instead, I explained.
“Stevie’s mad at me because Tod was in the line of fire. Ally’s chasing down bad guys, totaling her Mustang. My life’s completely out of control and taking others with it. I can’t sit around and wait, I have to do something. I’m tired of being scared.”
I was trying to twist away. He threw a thigh over mine and pinned me, let go of my wrist, got up on an elbow and traced the line of my jaw with his finger, looking in my eyes.
He was deciding something.
“Then you work with me.”
My body stilled. Was he serious? Work with the Mysterious Badass Liam Nightingale?
“What?” I asked.
“We’ll look for Rosie together.”
My mouth dropped open.
“Seriously?” I breathed.
He nodded.
I started to smile but then he said, “There are conditions.”
The smile went away and I narrowed my eyes at him.
“What conditions?”
His eyes softened and crinkled at the corners.
“You’re very cute,” he said.
Excuse me? Cute?
“Conditions?” I snapped, deciding to deal with the “cute” comment later.
“You do what I say when I tell you to do it and you keep your mouth shut. If we get into something and I get a bad vibe and feel you shouldn’t be there, you don’t argue, you just go.”
I thought about it and decided I could do that.
“Uncuff me,” I said again.
“You agree?”
“I agree.”
He uncuffed me, I started to roll away but he hooked me and rolled me back.
“Where you goin’?” he asked.
“Just ‘cause I agreed to work together with you doesn’t mean I’m not angry with you for cuffing me. You want honesty, I’ll give you honesty, you’ve pissed me off.”
He nuzzled my neck, apparently unaffected by my announcement.
“I can help you work through that.”
“You’re way too cocky,” I told him.
“I know, but you still love me.”
I froze.
“Excuse me?”
His arms came around me, holding me tight as if he knew I was about ready to bolt and he was preparing early. He lifted his head and looked at me. His eyes were dark and warm.
“You love me.”
I stared at him and lied through my teeth (glad to know I could still do it), “I do not love you.”
He pulled me even deeper into him.
“Liar,” he whispered. “You’ve loved me since I held your hand at your mother’s memorial service when you were five years old.”
It was then, my head exploded.
Chapter Sixteen
Must… Stop… Brain
“What?” I shouted.
He was watching me closely.
I bucked, pushed and tried to get away but he held on tight.
“Let me go,” I demanded.
He didn’t say anything, just effortlessly held me to him.
I stilled and looked at him.
There was no denying it. His intelligence about when my infatuation started was too detailed to lie about.
“How did you know about that? Was it Ally?” I asked.
“I read your diary.”
Oh… my… God.
“What? When?”
“I don’t know, when you were fifteen, sixteen. You were schemin’ and throwin’ yourself at me pretty steady, recruitin’ your friends to help, some of it was ingenious. I was lookin’ for ways to…” he hesitated then found the words, “diffuse your eagerness.”
Holy shit.
How embarrassing was that?
It was a long time ago and I didn’t remember what I wrote in my diary. What I did remember was that it was nearly all about Lee and all of it was very personal.
I pressed my hands against his chest and tilted my chin down so I couldn’t see him.
I was never going to live this down. It felt like my whole body was on fire with mortification. I had to get the fuck out of there before I exploded. I was the Embarrassment Bomb.
“Indy.”
“You shouldn’t have read my diary. That was low,” I told his chest. “But it was a long time ago. Things change, I’ve changed. I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“That’s why you made chocolate cream pie last night.”
I lifted my head and glared at him. “You’d had a hard co
“Last night was nice, very nice.”
“Go to hell.”
I was too embarrassed for compliments or to be fair or rational. I just wanted to get away.
“Considering I’ve finally had you, had you in three different rooms, and feel pretty fuckin’ pleased about that, I’ll let that comment slide,” he said, sounding like he was beginning to get annoyed.
“Nice of you.”
I bucked again to get away and he rolled on top of me.
“Settle down,” he ordered.
“Get off me.”
“Right,” he clipped, (yep, definitely annoyed), “shut up and listen to me.”
My eyes rounded with anger, about to pop out of my head. Before I could say a word, he started talking.
“First of all, back then, you were underage. No way I could touch you, legally. Not the way I wanted to anyway. There aren’t a lot of people whose opinions I care about but your father’s is one of them. He’d have lost his mind if we’d hooked up then because my reputation wasn’t exactly unearned.”
This was true.
I still glared at him.
“It wasn’t easy to keep sayin’ no, you’re fucking gorgeous and always were. I wanted you then but you were a wild child. Everyone knew you were a handful. I wasn’t gonna go near you until you calmed down. It might be entertaining to watch when you’re removed, but if you’d been mine, you’d have driven me up the wall. I knew myself well enough to know that.”
This might have been true but I certainly didn’t want to hear it.
“Regardless of that, I intended to have you, one day, and that was always at the back of my mind, so I considered you mine even when you weren’t. It was common knowledge our families were close. Half the assholes I knew came to me tellin’ me they wanted a piece of you, the other half lyin’ about havin’ a piece. Why do you think I fought so goddamned much?”
Yikes.
That was news.
He went on. “I knew I had to get my shit together before I got us together. By the time that happened, you were avoiding me. We’ve discussed this part, without much of your honest participation. This brings us to now.”
He stared at me.
I kept my mouth shut.
“You can jump in anytime you feel like it,” he said.
Hmm, sarcasm.
“You shouldn’t have read my diary,” I snapped.
“Get over it.”
“I’m not gonna get over it. That’s personal. How I feel about you should be for me to tell you.”
He waited a beat.
“Point taken.”
That’s as far as he went, no apology and no remorse.
Jerk.
“I was a young girl with an infatuation. You shouldn’t mistake who I was for who I am now.”
Lee made no comment.
“That said, I am what I am. I’m still a wild child, I still do stupid, crazy things. I listen to rock ‘n’ roll, loud. I lip sync with drag queens. I find it fun to try to out-attitude the Sushi Den hostesses and sometimes, Ally and me even joyride around Denver. I haven’t changed and you can’t control me. If you even want to, I’m gone.”
“There’s a difference between controlling and protecting,” he remarked.
“Yeah, be careful not to cross that line. A line, I might add, you crossed this morning.” I was on a roll. “And while we’re talking about control, I may not have changed, but you have. The Lee I thought I loved when I was a teenager is not you.”
That pissed him off and his eyes narrowed. “I’m not hiding anything.”
“Do you mean to imply that I am?”
“Jesus, Indy, if you had the wall around you any more fortified, it’d be so deep you’d be in fucking Mexico.”
“I’ve always let it all hang out!”
“Bullshit.”
I made an angry noise that sounded like someone had punched me in the stomach.
“You got something to say?” I demanded.
His face changed, there was something there I’d never seen before. Something the looks of which scared the hell out of me.
When he spoke, his voice was softer, even gentle.
“You live every day like tomorrow isn’t gonna come. Your mother died before she reached your age. You watched your father chose to live a lonely life rather than replace her. It doesn’t take a psychologist to put those things together and figure out why you allow yourself to take care of all the Rosies and Texes of the world but don’t allow anyone to get very close to you.”
That was when I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
I turned my head away and bucked again. “Get off me.”
“Un-unh.” He curved his fingers and thumb around my chin and jaw and forced me to look at him. “I’m not gettin’ off, not goin’ away, not playin’ anymore games or wastin’ anymore fuckin’ time. I don’t believe in fate or destiny or any of that bullshit. What I know is that, as far as I can tell, there isn’t another woman I’ve met who fits my life. Who doesn’t care if I get home late after she’s made a special dinner. Who doesn’t have a hemorrhage when I talk about one of my men gettin’ shot, goin’ off about how she feels about my work. You got up and made everyone coffee, for fuck’s sake. You’re a woman who tells me to be careful when I tell her I’m out hunting humans, instead of bitchin’ and wantin’ to process how my career choice makes her feel. If an employee walked into their kitchen with a gun and shot at their neighbor, most people would lose their fucking minds. You spent the morning makin’ brownies and the afternoon sleepin’ in the sun. You live hard, play hard and don’t seem to be scared of anything but manage to keep a softness about you that’s almost unreal. You wanted me to tell you why I’m sure about you, that’s why I’m sure. You grew up and your only parent was a cop, you know the drill. I don’t have any interest in trainin’ someone to get it and I need someone strong enough to live with it. That’s you.”
I stared at him, eyes wide. I’d never heard him say so much, all at one time, in my life. And I’d known him my entire life.
“How often do your men get shot?” I asked.
“Shot at, too often. Shot, luckily, rarely.”
I wanted to ask how often he got shot at or had been shot. I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to know the answer. So I didn’t ask.
“Smart decision,” he murmured. He was in my brain. Again.
“I do get scared,” I whispered, “you scare me.”
His eyes crinkled.
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard in a week.”
I was stunned.
“That you scare me?”
His mouth brushed mine.
“If I scare you, then you care. I’m the same Lee, just older and smarter. You love me, eventually your wall will come down and you’ll admit it to yourself and then you’ll admit it to me.”
Jeez, he was so cocky.
His hands started moving on me and he began to nuzzle my neck again.
Apparently our little drama was over.
“I don’t think I’m done being pissed at you,” I told him.
“That’s okay,” he said against my ear, “I can still make love to you when you’re angry.”
Unbelievably cocky.
“I don’t think so,” I said.
His hand went between my legs, his fingers executing a delicious little swirl that was just enough pressure to get my attention but light enough to make me want more.
Bastard.
I opened my legs a bit, I couldn’t help it.
He kissed me as reward.
“I promised to show you who I was, which mostly you know, today you’ll learn more,” he said when he was nuzzling my neck again. I was kind of listening but his fingers were exerting more pressure and doing some more swirl action so I was finding it hard. “And I promised to tell you what I wanted and give you time to decide.”
Oh no, this wasn’t fair.
I’d ope
“Can we…” I panted, “talk about this later?”
I thought he agreed, he slid between my legs and entered me.
Nice, very, very nice.
He started to move.
“I want you in my house, in my bed. I want you to move in by the weekend.”
My eyes were closed but they flew open and I saw he was looking at me.
I still wanted to take our relationship slow, he was talking hyper-drive.
I could not deal with this, not now. He hadn’t stopped moving and he felt good inside me.
I wrapped my arms and legs around him, sliding a hand in his hair.
“Lee…”
I didn’t intend to say anything else, just shut him up so I could concentrate.
“Jesus,” he buried his face in my neck, “there’s nothin’ better in the world than hearin’ you say my name when I’m inside you.” He slid in deep, filling me. “I’ve been waitin’ years to be right here.”
Holy crap.
His mouth was at my ear.
“I could be on assignment, in a desert as hot as an oven, in a jungle as close as fuck and sometimes I’d get through it dreamin’ of you sayin’ my name like that.”
Holy crap, crap, crap.
“I’ll move in by the weekend,” I said.
He lifted his head and smiled.
Fucking Lee.
* * * * *
I was in the bathroom swiping on makeup.
The bruise on my cheek was nearly gone and my mental body checkup declared only slight aches and pains after a day of no mishaps (and a night and morning of great sex which apparently was an effective muscle relaxant). I was thinking my luck was turning as yesterday, outside of finally doing it with Lee, my adventures only included one dead body which fortunately wasn’t mine. Therefore good and bad instead of all bad.
Then Lee walked into the bathroom wearing just the faded navy sweat-shorts.
I glanced at him in the mirror and tried to tamp down my panic.
In the heat of the moment, I’d agreed to move in.
Okay, so it was more about what he said than the heat of the moment, but I’d still agreed to move in.
Further, I’d just noticed something I hadn’t really taken in the night before. Judy had given me a makeup drawer in Lee’s bathroom vanity.